Is it wise to convalidate a rocky marriage?

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parisbostonnyc

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Four years ago, I married my husband in a Baptist church. I had an abusive church experience, wanted to have a relationship with Jesus Christ and my Bible Study Group there gave us a beautiful ceremony. Two years ago, I felt called back very strongly to the Catholic Church in a new area of the country and have drawn closer and closer to the church. Now I want to take communion. My husband told me that he was a Christian and convinced the Pastor of this in the Baptist Church with all his knowledge of teachings. When I moved East, he revealed he is a very active Unitarian Church member. Asking the Priest two years ago about what to do so I can take communion, I found out the my husband was never baptized and doesn’t believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God or in the Trinity. Our marriage has been very rocky over the last 4 years with my drawing closer to the Catholic Church as huge problem. He is willing to explore convalidation, but not willing to stop having marital relations with me until then. He said if the Priest tells me that I am committing adultry unless I abstain, he will have to “discuss our options.” My question is, can you convalidate such a rocky relationship?
 
Dear friend,

To your question as to whether your marriage can be convalidated on such a rocky relationship, my question is: “Why would you want to?” Is this the man you want to be the father of your children? Are you willing to battle over the children’s Catholicism with a father that is hostile to the most important element in their lives? Remember, your husband duped not only the Baptist minister, but you as well. So he sounds untrustworthy as well as hostile. You are in our prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.
 
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