Is it wise to marry younger women?

[JimG]

You say this as if it’s a habit for you.

Well, as Huck FInn would say, that might have been a “stretcher.” My wife was 21 and I was 30 when we married. She died at the age of 48, and there has been no number 2, so perhaps the use of the word “always” was a bit of hyperbole, although there’s always hope.

 

[Sarabande]

I am getting baptised very soon, and I want to make decisions that will help me get to heaven.
I think marriage is better then lonely, however WHO dose one marry??

I know very nice spiritual people,
however it seems that because of past relationships they have past judgment on ALL MEN.
Even if they say they haven’t judged me based on what someone else did…they have put up barriers to protect themselves from what there ex did, and those barriers would be placed on me.

For example I like poetry romance etc…but some women in bad relationships have hardened there hart so that they don’t care about these things.

Which leads me to conclude that
a young virgin would make the best wife and mother.

Especially if you want the qualities that our Holy Mother has in a wife.
Because I only want to marry once.

Also it seems that women like older men. I could be wrong…any suggestions?

Depends on the woman and the man. A young virgin does not necessarily make a great wife and mother. For some it may. If I married at 18 or 20, it probably would not have been a good thing for me. I still wanted to explore life and the world. I wanted to be on my own and experience things on my own without having to live under my parents’ roof. I wanted to discover more who I truly was, not what anyone else wanted me to be or make me into someone I was not. Basically, I didn’t want a steady boyfriend, let alone a husband at that point. But I was a virgin.

An older virgin in her mid to late 20s/30s might make a good wife and mother. They ***tend *** to have a better idea of who they are and know what and who they want. Their intellect and confidence are further expanded. They just tend to be more complete people because of their experience and inner growth. I married at 26, was a virgin and have never been happier in my life, but I had to experience life a little in order for me to get to that point in my life. I would not have wanted to just step from the shelter of my parents’ home to my husband’s without any deep introspection and spiritual/personal growth - and I had to do it on my own. But that’s just me.

And please note that I’m not saying that everyone is like this in both categories. I know there are exceptions.

In regards to women liking older men… I believe there is some truth in that. I think it’s because women mature faster and many men who are their age (especially when they are in their teens and early 20s) just haven’t caught up with them yet. It does equal out as they get older. I was always attracted to older men. I’ve dated men up to 10 years older than me, but I have found the men that much older than me wanted much more from me than what I was willing to give. My husband is two years older than me and we were a perfect match. My mother, on the other hand, married my father who is two years younger than him. She did not believe him when he told her originally that he was younger than her. She said that he was so mature, intelligent and knew his own mind - and he looked older. They were engaged after a 3 month courtship and have been married for 38 years. Both were virgins. My father said my mother was this lithe, youthful, sassy, caring, beautiful woman who looked like she was 18 (she was 25), but she was such an incredible force to be reckon with, embodied in such a beautiful soul - and so different from all the other women he knew. This was during the early 70s when it seemed that almost every young woman he met who seemed like nice girls, wanted to hop in the sack immediately.

So, in the end, it all really depends on the people involved. I don’t know about other women, but for me, what I was looking for in a husband was a depth of caring, intellect, spiritual and emotional depth, goodness, Catholic, a really good sense of humour and someone who didn’t care what other people thought about him, among many other attributes. It didn’t matter about age, for the most part.

 

[lottied]

Hey everyone!!!

I just wanted to post a couple of thoughts here…

I am 20 and so, i supporse, could be classed as a younger woman…i try to obey Holy mother churches teachings although it can be very difficult becuase many of my peers have a very different set of ethics.

But what i wanted to say is, that i have been hurt very badly by men in the past and am still in the process of recovery and so to assume that younger women don’t also look at men with a slightly wary eye is untrue. In my case, i am simply seeing if they wil be honourable and obey the churches teching, if they will love, honour and protect me. which is their job as men regardless of a womans relatonship to them.

also, as a man i am sure you fear failing…’‘is she going to be too much for me? will i be able to help her sort out her baggage in this relationship?? what about my baggage? am i too much?? can i be a good father?? husband??’’ but trust in Jesus and he will direct you to the right woman, but you must also ask him to make you the right kinda man that someoe like that is going to want to marry. age is not the issue. your heart is. as is hers.

I am on this journey too, we all are.

and a message to the other ladies out there who are hurting…please try not to feel condemmed (it is easy for me to say this, i know) but please know that God loves you and has gone all through what happened he was in it with you and wants to heal you. just ask him. i try to but it is very hard sometimes. my love and prayers to you all xx

‘‘i pray for thee as i hope you pray for me that one day we may meet in heaven’’ (paraphrase)

 

[Norseman82]

In my personal experience, it seems that age differences tend to mean less as one gets older, meaning that a ten year age difference may be uncomfortable when the younger person is 20, but at 30 the age difference may not pose as much of an obstacle.

Which leads me to conclude that
a young virgin would make the best wife and mother.

Are you yourself a virgin? If you are not, do you feel you have the right to expect your wife to be a virgin?

May I ask you how old you are?

 

[jman507]

I think it would be wise to be on gaurd about the general problems that may come from a person’s demographics, but then to still keep an open mind. Even if you think you understand all possible problems and try to mitigate them, you still can always have a blindspot in which one is unaware. I suppose you could say a general difference between someone older is that they have fewer blindspots, but has compensated that with a loss of an open mind; while the younger person has more of an open mind, but huge blindspots.

This is about marriage though, you are marrying an individual. Now you can take certain philosphies regarding the issue of if you should get a puppy which is more easily moldable, but takes a lot of time to train; or an older dog which has the baggage of it’s past upbringing, you know what your going to get, but you don’t have to go through the puppy stage. Generalities can work great there. In marriage though you are marrying an individual. He or she may share many things in common with his or her coherts. The important issues may be custom to your relationship with that person, which will probably include the same issues as whatever group he or she is apart of, but is far from inclusive of all those issues.

I would say, it would be more wise if you looking for someone to marry is to get to know youself, to know other people, and to pray to God to guide you and to change you to who you need to be. In the end anyway your going to have to have a decent understanding of who both of you are, what both of you need, and understanding how to change in order to meet the everchanging needs, and to do so with out trying to change the essence of who you are.