Is it wrong (e.g. selfish, disconnected from / mistrusting God's will) to pray for yourself?

[ethereality]

I used to pray for my own healing, among other things, every day, requesting the intercession of people not-yet-canonized (hoping it would “be another good reason” for God to grant my petitions – so that these people could be canonized to give others inspiration). It hasn’t happened. (I’m hopeful for tomorrow!)

I then started reading St. Therese of Lisieux’s Story of a Soul, where she regards suffering and pain as gifts from God. I still don’t fully understand how she regarded suffering, but nonetheless, while reading this book the thought occurred to me that it was literally self-centered, selfish, for me to pray for myself.

It seems also to imply a disconnect from the will of God – as the Book of Job teaches, even to ask “Why am I suffering?” misunderstands the nature of God, whose providence and predestination has arranged everything for our good (Romans 8:28), and whose wisdom far surpasses our understanding. That is, it seems I ought to assume that whenever I suffer, it’s better than if I didn’t suffer (since God allows evil to bring about a greater good, right?).

So what do you think? If you disagree, then how is praying for ourselves – generally speaking – not selfish or demonstrating a disconnect from God’s will? I understand that praying for ourselves can have a selfless motivation, e.g. a sick parent wanting to recover to continue caring for a child, but this still seems to imply a disconnect from God’s will insofar as there is one’s own will being requested, rather than “unifying” ourselves to God’s will (as one passage in this book discusses) – that is, it seems the “best” prayer is only to pray for God’s will, and never our own. Yet it becomes difficult to distinguish this from the so-called “spiritual suicide” of Buddhism (as someone on Catholic Answers has critiqued it, i.e. the cessation of our own desires).

So I guess, more generally speaking, the interplay between our will and God’s will is not clear to me: It seems like the goal is for our will to become redundant (for us to only will what God already wills), yet this seems demeaning in a way, i.e. “God didn’t create us to be robots, but He wants us to act like robots,” by always looking first to see what God’s will is and then mimicking it.

What do you think?

 

[GLam8833]

St. Paul prayed for himself when
he pleaded with the Lord to take
the “thorn in the flesh” away, but
GOD ANSWERED him. See 2 Cor.
12, so also keep praying until you
get CONFIRMATION from God to
either accept it as your thorn in the
flesh or something that you will be
CURED of for the praise and glory
of Christ’s Name for your world’s
good and the good of all His holy
Church!

 

[Sarcelle]

I used to pray for my own healing, among other things, every day, requesting the intercession of people not-yet-canonized (hoping it would “be another good reason” for God to grant my petitions – so that these people could be canonized to give others inspiration). It hasn’t happened. (I’m hopeful for tomorrow!)

I then started reading St. Therese of Lisieux’s Story of a Soul, where she regards suffering and pain as gifts from God. I still don’t fully understand how she regarded suffering, but nonetheless, while reading this book the thought occurred to me that it was literally self-centered, selfish, for me to pray for myself.

It seems also to imply a disconnect from the will of God – as the Book of Job teaches, even to ask “Why am I suffering?” misunderstands the nature of God, whose providence and predestination has arranged everything for our good (Romans 8:28), and whose wisdom far surpasses our understanding. That is, it seems I ought to assume that whenever I suffer, it’s better than if I didn’t suffer (since God allows evil to bring about a greater good, right?).

So what do you think? If you disagree, then how is praying for ourselves – generally speaking – not selfish or demonstrating a disconnect from God’s will? I understand that praying for ourselves can have a selfless motivation, e.g. a sick parent wanting to recover to continue caring for a child, but this still seems to imply a disconnect from God’s will insofar as there is one’s own will being requested, rather than “unifying” ourselves to God’s will (as one passage in this book discusses) – that is, it seems the “best” prayer is only to pray for God’s will, and never our own. Yet it becomes difficult to distinguish this from the so-called “spiritual suicide” of Buddhism (as someone on Catholic Answers has critiqued it, i.e. the cessation of our own desires).

So I guess, more generally speaking, the interplay between our will and God’s will is not clear to me: It seems like the goal is for our will to become redundant (for us to only will what God already wills), yet this seems demeaning in a way, i.e. “God didn’t create us to be robots, but He wants us to act like robots,” by always looking first to see what God’s will is and then mimicking it.

What do you think?

No, not really.

It took me years to disabuse myself of the idea that to be Catholic is to be masochistic.

Even Jesus begged the Father to spare Him the fate of torture and crucifixion but He concluded that the Father’s will be done.

This is the example that we follow.

 

[Deus_tecum]

Hmm…I think it is ok to pray for yourself, but if found oft repeating the same prayer (request) it shows a lack of faith. Then the only prayer for oneself should be for greater faith.

 

[Josie33]

I would by no means stop praying for healing, but I would suggest **always **ending your prayer that God’s will be done. That way even though you are making your intention known to God, your will is united to His will and you can be at peace with whatever it is that He decides.

This reminds me of the story in the Bible where Jesus healed a man on the Sabbath who had been paralyzed for 38 years. It goes that, “[w]hen Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been there a long time, he said to him, ‘Do you want to be made well?’” (John 5:6) Sometimes when suffering for a prolonged period of time we can become accustomed to our sufferings and no longer desire healing. So I think its important for us to continue to petition God for the gift of healing, but entrusting that He knows what is best for us – hence, that His will be done. However, God’s will may change over time. It may be His will for us to suffer now and for some time to come, but perhaps not always. The man in the Bible was paralyzed for 38 years. It wasn’t God’s will that he continue to suffer, but it was indeed His will that he suffer for some time for his sins. And even then God gave him a choice to remain in his suffering or to be healed. He was healed. I think this shows that we should persevere in prayer no matter the length of our suffering. See also, The Parable of the Widow and the Unjust Judge (Luke 18:1-8) which an excellent example of perseverance in prayer.

But of course there are situations where God’s answer for our healing is “no” and is always no. In that case, at least one can find peace in the fact that they endured the suffering, persevered in prayer with faith and trust (in the power of God to heal) to the end. Also, I should also note that God will give us what we need, not necessarily what we want. Although we may pray for physical healing, sometimes the healing that comes is a spiritual one. So that prayer is indeed answered, according to God’s will which is, as always, united to ours.

God Bless,

Josie