Is it wrong for a parent to coax his/her child into religious life?

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whatevergirl

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What do you think about parents coaxing or somewhat forcing their child to choose religious life (priesthood)? I think this is happening in a family we know…not 100% sure…but my husband and I were talking about it today…would it be wrong to steer someone into the priesthood, or should this be something a man strictly chooses on his own?
 
Coax? Yes, it’s wrong. Support? Absolutely not. I personally feel that every Catholic man should at least give the priesthood a shot and see if it’s for them. However, that’s not everybody’s cup of tea. Coaxing a vocation is just as bad as telling your son or daughter that they should be dating this person or that person. It really needs to be up to the person. The parents should realize that if the kid was raised correctly, their child will succeed in whatever they do. All the child has to do is decide what that is.
 
church_child said:
Coax? Yes, it’s wrong. Support? Absolutely not. I personally feel that every Catholic man should at least give the priesthood a shot and see if it’s for them. However, that’s not everybody’s cup of tea. Coaxing a vocation is just as bad as telling your son or daughter that they should be dating this person or that person. It really needs to be up to the person. The parents should realize that if the kid was raised correctly, their child will succeed in whatever they do. All the child has to do is decide what that is.
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hi church child–what a neat vantage point you have…you personally feel all Catholic men should give the priesthood a shot? that’s very intriguing to me. I bet it would mean more priests…ultimately!
 
My four year old has decided she wants to be a religious sister when she grows up. Yes. She’s four (almost five). Am I thrilled? Absolutely! However, do I think that she might change her mind a million times before she’s an adult? Probably.

Although I’d be delighted if she became a religious, I am very careful not to “push” her. I constantly tell her that it’s not what WE want to do with our lives, but what GOD wants that we should strive for.

I think it’s wrong for a parent to push a child into any vocational decision, religious or secular. It is, however, right and fitting for parents to encourage religious vocations. Ultimately, however, it’s God who decides, not mom or dad.

Now someone tell that to aforementioned daughter, who has already decided that brother no. one is going to be a priest, and brother no. two a married missionary. 🤷 Lord knows what plans she has for future siblings.
 
hi church child–what a neat vantage point you have…you personally feel all Catholic men should give the priesthood a shot?
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Definately. I think we have men that are being called but aren’t hearing it, and I think that’s sad. God calls so many men every day, the least they can do is pick up the phone and see what he wants. That’s my main motivation for entering college seminary next year. Of course, I feel strongly called to be a Catholic priest and I cannot WAIT to go. I’m so excited. However, I really do feel that every man should explore the priesthood and see if it might be for them. As men, we explore Holy Matrimony every time we go on a date. Why not spend some time with Jesus and see if maybe we should spend the rest of our lives with Him?
 
church_child said:
Definately. I think we have men that are being called but aren’t hearing it, and I think that’s sad. God calls so many men every day, the least they can do is pick up the phone and see what he wants. That’s my main motivation for entering college seminary next year. Of course, I feel strongly called to be a Catholic priest and I cannot WAIT to go. I’m so excited. However, I really do feel that every man should explore the priesthood and see if it might be for them. As men, we explore Holy Matrimony every time we go on a date. Why not spend some time with Jesus and see if maybe we should spend the rest of our lives with Him?
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what do you personally feel is the reason for the decline in men entering seminaries…and seeking the priesthood?
 
Thank you, whatevergirl.

Regarding the decline in men pursuing the priesthood, I think we have a very intolerant society that drowns out anything relative to God with deafening secular noise. TV, cell phones, music, news, sex, drugs, violence, alcohol…these are all very big distractions. The world sends a message of, “Do whatever you want, when you want, and no one can tell you otherwise, except maybe the government.” Men or women who choose to be celibate are mocked by the world. I’ve had people already come up to me and ask me if I want to be a priest because I “can’t get girls”. That is quintessential of society’s attitude, and many men are dragged along with it and forget about the priesthood altogether as a possibility.
 
church_child said:
Thank you, whatevergirl.

Regarding the decline in men pursuing the priesthood, I think we have a very intolerant society that drowns out anything relative to God with deafening secular noise. TV, cell phones, music, news, sex, drugs, violence, alcohol…these are all very big distractions. The world sends a message of, “Do whatever you want, when you want, and no one can tell you otherwise, except maybe the government.” Men or women who choose to be celibate are mocked by the world. I’ve had people already come up to me and ask me if I want to be a priest because I “can’t get girls”. That is quintessential of society’s attitude, and many men are dragged along with it and forget about the priesthood altogether as a possibility.
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aw, that is sad that someone said that to you. 😦 Yes, I agree…it’s strange, because man hasn’t changed…the same tempations (relatively so) existed back in the early 1900’s say…but the respect factor for a priest is gone too…in some unfortunate regards, i do think that the sex scandals are to blame. yes, if someone wants to become a priest, he will not let others’ views of the priesthood sway him…but, we are human. priests were definitely more respected say 25 years ago, than today…it’s sad to me.
 
Encouragement, even very strong encouragement, isn’t a bad thing at all. If it goes over the line into manipulation or coercion that’s a different thing entirely.
 
From my observations, even if a parent did coax and pressure the young man to persue a the Priesthood - the Vocations Director or phychological screening or the discernment during Seminary would sort things out in the end. It is a long process, and mommy & daddy go through it with you.
 
I tend to agree with church_child that all Catholic young men and boys should be encouraged to consider the priesthood as their career. Personally, I have mentioned it in passing when my boys start talking about “when I grow up.” But they both have already expressed strong desires to grow up and be Daddies. (They have a really good one, so I understand it! 😃 ) I just want them to know that it would be an option we would support. Some families are very negative about their children entering religious life.

Anything beyond friendly discussion and support of an expressed desire, I think is over the line. The priesthood is a radical lifestyle in today’s world. Trying to force someone into it, or pressuring them, is wrong. And I agree that the psychological process at most seminaries would weed them out anyway. And where would that leave the young man? Feeling like a failure in the only place he thought his parents would approve of him? Not good…

As for the decline in men entering seminary…I think some of the problem may be with some of the seminaries. The master level theologian who comes to teach classes at our parish named one seminary where he went to study (can’t remember the name now) where anyone who actually believed in and followed Church teaching was ridiculed and not welcome. It was full of openly practicing gay men who were intent on radically changing the Catholic Church to fit their agenda. I have heard many times of the “gay mafia” that rules some seminaries. (That is the term that was used…I did not make it up.) There is one seminary that our bishop will no longer allow candidates from our diocese to go to, because of that very problem. It may be the same one our theologian went to, in fact I think he was the one that told us this. I think it’s absolutely scandalous that the Church, all the way up to the Vatican, has known of this problem in some American seminaries for many years, and is only recently (the last couple years) starting to address it and try to clean it up.

One priest at our parish is trying to get the numbers up in a creative way. When he got finished baptizing my younger son, he put his hands on either side of his head, and said, “And may you become a nice, holy priest!”
 
duskyjewel said:
I tend to agree with church_child that all Catholic young men and boys should be encouraged to consider the priesthood as their career. Personally, I have mentioned it in passing when my boys start talking about “when I grow up.” But they both have already expressed strong desires to grow up and be Daddies. (They have a really good one, so I understand it! 😃 ) I just want them to know that it would be an option we would support. Some families are very negative about their children entering religious life.

Anything beyond friendly discussion and support of an expressed desire, I think is over the line. The priesthood is a radical lifestyle in today’s world. Trying to force someone into it, or pressuring them, is wrong. And I agree that the psychological process at most seminaries would weed them out anyway. And where would that leave the young man? Feeling like a failure in the only place he thought his parents would approve of him? Not good…

**As for the decline in men entering seminary…I think some of the problem may be with some of the seminaries. The master level theologian who comes to teach classes at our parish named one seminary where he went to study (can’t remember the name now) where anyone who actually believed in and followed Church teaching was ridiculed and not welcome. It was full of openly practicing gay men who were intent on radically changing the Catholic Church to fit their agenda. I have heard many times of the “gay mafia” that rules some seminaries. ** (That is the term that was used…I did not make it up.) There is one seminary that our bishop will no longer allow candidates from our diocese to go to, because of that very problem. It may be the same one our theologian went to, in fact I think he was the one that told us this. I think it’s absolutely scandalous that the Church, all the way up to the Vatican, has known of this problem in some American seminaries for many years, and is only recently (the last couple years) starting to address it and try to clean it up.

One priest at our parish is trying to get the numbers up in a creative way. When he got finished baptizing my younger son, he put his hands on either side of his head, and said, “And may you become a nice, holy priest!”
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WOW–Interesting points…especially the bolded above…that is so sad though!!!😦
 
Our diocesan seminary recently held discernment days for young men. There were 38 young men present–partly because a teacher at one of the all male Catholic high schools gave extra credit to those who attended. The priest who is our vocations director said he was worried at first that these young men wouldn’t take the event seriously, but he was pleasantly surprised. I pray that a few seeds were planted by the teacher!
 
I’ve also heard that seminaries no longer require or even teach classes on the mystic aspects of our Catholic heritage. If you strip the mystical out of the priestly life, what’s left to offer? Seriously, if you’re going to favor the rational aspects of the priesthood, why wouldn’t a man become a therapist or councilor instead of making the sacrifices necessary to enter the priesthood?

Check out this brief interview: zenit.org/english/visualizza.phtml?sid=107870
 
I think it is every parent’s duty to discuss and encourage vocations with their children. Obviously not all of them will choose to be religious, but I think it is very wrong of parents to not even mention it. If all you ever talk about to your kids is how much you want grandkids, then how open are they going to be with you about wanting to check out a seminary?

I’ve done my best to instill a love and respect for priests and religious in my kids, and told the ones big enough to understand that I would* love* it if they chose a religious vocation. As they get older, I will continue to encourage it. But they also know that I would love them to get married and have grandbabies for me too! 😉 You can’t force a vocation on someone, but as a parent you can sure make it look unappealing enough that they never even try. I plan to avoid that at all costs! I don’t want to answer to Jesus at the judgement for why I discouraged my kids, and one that was supposed to be a priest wasn’t, because of me. 😦
 
Teakafrog said:
I think it is every parent’s duty to discuss and encourage vocations with their children. Obviously not all of them will choose to be religious, but I think it is very wrong of parents to not even mention it. If all you ever talk about to your kids is how much you want grandkids, then how open are they going to be with you about wanting to check out a seminary?

I’ve done my best to instill a love and respect for priests and religious in my kids, and told the ones big enough to understand that I would* love* it if they chose a religious vocation. As they get older, I will continue to encourage it. But they also know that I would love them to get married and have grandbabies for me too! 😉 You can’t force a vocation on someone, but as a parent you can sure make it look unappealing enough that they never even try. I plan to avoid that at all costs! I don’t want to answer to Jesus at the judgement for why I discouraged my kids, and one that was supposed to be a priest wasn’t, because of me. 😦
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hmmm…a duty? really?
 
Is it wrong for a parent to coax his/her child into religious life? it’s a crime NOT TO!

back in the 50’s it was honorable to be a religious or a priest. in other countries it’s still a very high honor, sometimes even higher than a doctor!

now it’s just a filthy shame how our society views them. it’s no coincidence our society is also being eaten alive and the family unit is being destroyed. our youth are lost, depressed, alone, and suicidal.

it’s every christian parent’s responsibility to instill in their children the love of God and the honor of serving Him. the Church teaches that we need to discern our vocation properly, whether it’s married, single, religious, or priesthood. if we don’t discern properly, we are selling ourselves short. too many people assume marriage is the only path. why? because no one taught them otherwise.

hm if you think about it, the above would probably be the most logical way for the devil to destroy God’s people.

i think it was Thomas Acquinas that said that in an ideal world, 80% of the population would be religious, while the remaining people would lead families. (ponder that for a while…) of course the opposite is true and only a fraction of one percent are religious.

alas i’m sure it’s all in God’s plan. it seems the youth are on their own, and the really devout males are discovering God on their own and entering religious life. maybe this is God’s way of ushering out the old, and a rebirth of the Church with the new generation like John Paul II imagined…
 
I know about 5 people who thought about it and only one who doing it. My view is that the Priesthood is something that God calls some but not all men to. Alot of young men are religious and close to God but are afraid to make such an big choice early in adulthood. I do know that alot of men who do join the seminary drop out and have conflicting views on leaving. In an society where people change jobs on average 7 times in their lifetime the preisthood can look daunting. The priesthood is an huge commitment and not everyone has the talents needed.
 
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