Is it wrong for me not to beleive in God? (with explanation)

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I don’t want to give you a life story but I used to pray all the time, up until a bit after I turned 15 (almost 16 now). Every since I learned about what was going on in my life I always prayed that it would become normal. My parents were both lousy drunks, who separated four years ago. Since then I have been stuck in the middle of their arguing. My father would never do what he promised, his beer always came first to anything he said. And my mom would always be angry from being drunk all the time. She would also force feed me saying I ate too little even though I was always full, causing me to become fat. 3-4 times a week she would take out a wooden spoon and beat me until I cried, or would finally finish my dinner. My older brother nor my father ever helped. They would always just sit there and watch and starred at me as I screamed in pain.

I always prayed to God. Prayed to him that my life would turn around, that something would happen to make me think living actually mattered. After years of praying to this so called ‘God’, I lost hope, and haven’t prayed since.

People say that atheists, or people that do not acknowledge God deserve to burn in hell. But if my life has been so terrible, do you truly believe it was wrong for me to give up on my faith, prayer, and hope?
 
ncore said:
People say that atheists, or people that do not acknowledge God deserve to burn in hell.
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Whoever says this is extremely uncharitable and behaving in a way that goes against everything Jesus ever taught us.
 
ncore said:
I don’t want to give you a life story but I used to pray all the time, up until a bit after I turned 15 (almost 16 now). Every since I learned about what was going on in my life I always prayed that it would become normal. My parents were both lousy drunks, who separated four years ago. Since then I have been stuck in the middle of their arguing. My father would never do what he promised, his beer always came first to anything he said. And my mom would always be angry from being drunk all the time. She would also force feed me saying I ate too little even though I was always full, causing me to become fat. 3-4 times a week she would take out a wooden spoon and beat me until I cried, or would finally finish my dinner. My older brother nor my father ever helped. They would always just sit there and watch and starred at me as I screamed in pain.

I always prayed to God. Prayed to him that my life would turn around, that something would happen to make me think living actually mattered. After years of praying to this so called ‘God’, I lost hope, and haven’t prayed since.
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I am so sorry to hear about what’s happened to you with your family. That is so sad :(. It is difficult to understand why there is so much sadness and despair in the world. However, a lot of the very very sad things that happen in the world are a result of human action. And God gave humans free will. Meaning some horrible things that happen, don’t happen because God made them happen. They happen because PEOPLE, with their free wills, made them happen.
 
Sorry to hear of your plight. I will add you to my prayers. I know it’s hard and I can’t offer practical solutions apart from prayer. I hope you can some day go into a church and pour your heart out to Christ crucified who loves you more than you could know.
 
Hi buffalo. Its really bizarre I stumbled across that prayer several months ago and if you pray it from the heart it really works! I consider myself a traditionalist in many ways but wholly endorse this devotion and love this prayer:thumbsup:
 
Ncore, I am truly sorry to read of your plight, it’s been a long and difficult road for you. And at age 16, you are trying to figure it all out and looking for a way to a better life.

The short,quick advice I give here, reads easy but sounds hard. But it is not as hard as one may think. One day at a time. Yard by yard, it may be hard, but inch by inch it is a cinch. Let time be your ally, use it well each day.

Get a good education and stay close to God. It is OK to be angry with God. Even in anger, you are talking to Him about your situation which is not happy so He does not expect you to politically correct so to speak. Just speak your heart to Him and ask for WISDOM and PATIENCE.

And nothing replaces a good education. Complete High School with the best grades you can. College, or community college, or perhaps military service after high school. For me, it was all three in reverse order. I retired as an E-9 with a community college degree and then went full time to graduate with Honors in Accounting at age 44, the semester before our oldest daughter also graduated with her bachelor degree. It is a bit different going to college with your daughter. I firmly believe none of that would have worked for me if I had not persisently asked for God’s help all those years.

You don’t realize it now, but God is working in your life. Charles Dickens wrote a story of young man, your age, who had a terrible life for quite some time. At the end, the boy then a man of success, understood, “Even the best of steel must go through the fire.” Your character is being developed and strengthen at this young age. God does have important work waiting for you that you will be able to handle because you became strong and decent.

Find good friends and good mentors. God gave me the ability to spot, observe, and align with the winners and to avoid hanging with the loosers. I kept my private life as private as possible and kept conversations on the positive approach to building a good life.

Don’t give up HOPE. Look around and read news reports if needed. You will see others in tough situations doing the best they can to make a better life. They have HOPE. Life will get better. Keep talking to God. Keep making best efforts. Focus on the winners who appear in your life.

Like others, I too will keep you in my prayers.
 
ncore said:
I don’t want to give you a life story but I used to pray all the time, up until a bit after I turned 15 (almost 16 now). Every since I learned about what was going on in my life I always prayed that it would become normal. My parents were both lousy drunks, who separated four years ago. Since then I have been stuck in the middle of their arguing. My father would never do what he promised, his beer always came first to anything he said. And my mom would always be angry from being drunk all the time. She would also force feed me saying I ate too little even though I was always full, causing me to become fat. 3-4 times a week she would take out a wooden spoon and beat me until I cried, or would finally finish my dinner. My older brother nor my father ever helped. They would always just sit there and watch and starred at me as I screamed in pain.

I always prayed to God. Prayed to him that my life would turn around, that something would happen to make me think living actually mattered. After years of praying to this so called ‘God’, I lost hope, and haven’t prayed since.

People say that atheists, or people that do not acknowledge God deserve to burn in hell. But if my life has been so terrible, do you truly believe it was wrong for me to give up on my faith, prayer, and hope?
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Hi ncore,

I read your post and I just started crying. Life is often not even close to what it should be, is it.

But, now for a (seeming) nonsequitur. Years ago I raced bicycles on an amateur level; I always trained by myself and did not get a coach, honestly because I was afraid that a coach would work me to the point of unmanageable pain, and I was afraid I would quit racing. So I was self-coached, managed my pain to acceptable levels during training, and … never won a race.

I have come to find that we don’t get to choose whether we want God as our coach in life or not – he is. He will allow great pain to happen to both you and I beyond what we can take. There are many other people on this site who are poster children for “how could God possibly think I deserve to experience this”. I welcome you to the club. God gives the biggest helping of suffering to his best friends, or so Fr. Corapi says.

Just react to your pain with your whole honest being, wail and cry if you must, but keep up your dialogue with God. With him, don’t try to talk about anything but how you are feeling, and how much you need him. He knows you’re hurting. He may not let it stop yet. But he is the one who knows what race you are in and where the finish line is, not you. I have to be honest, I still struggle a lot with this. The devil is always near, trying to get me to think that God is the one who hates me. How easy it would have been for Jesus, God’s one and only son, to think this on the cross! How easy it is for us to think it also! But it is not reality.

Only from great pain, from great suffering, come great things; but only later, sometimes much later. I wish it were not this way, but it is. In the meantime know where Jesus is. Not way up in heaven watching disinterestedly. Not just by your side. Your suffering is his suffering. His suffering is your suffering. In a way, you are He, and He is you.

May God give you comfort soon.
 
ncore said:
I don’t want to give you a life story but I used to pray all the time, up until a bit after I turned 15 (almost 16 now). Every since I learned about what was going on in my life I always prayed that it would become normal. My parents were both lousy drunks, who separated four years ago. Since then I have been stuck in the middle of their arguing. My father would never do what he promised, his beer always came first to anything he said. And my mom would always be angry from being drunk all the time. She would also force feed me saying I ate too little even though I was always full, causing me to become fat. 3-4 times a week she would take out a wooden spoon and beat me until I cried, or would finally finish my dinner. My older brother nor my father ever helped. They would always just sit there and watch and starred at me as I screamed in pain.

I always prayed to God. Prayed to him that my life would turn around, that something would happen to make me think living actually mattered. After years of praying to this so called ‘God’, I lost hope, and haven’t prayed since.

People say that atheists, or people that do not acknowledge God deserve to burn in hell. But if my life has been so terrible, do you truly believe it was wrong for me to give up on my faith, prayer, and hope?
Click to expand...
It is a big question as to why God allows such evil to happen in the world, and frankly the answer lies beyond the ability of any human so far to reason out.

Certainly it is not wrong for you t stop believing in God delivering some kind of magical solution to your intolerable situation.
But it would be wrong for you to stop believing in the vision that God supplies us with in order to find some hope in your life.
For believing in God is above all believing that you will be able to surmount even this great difficulty that you have been subjected to.

God for whatever reason did not provide you with any magic or even any miracle through which you may have been delivered. What he did provide you with however is a good heart that intimately understand the difference between good and evil, and two hands and a mind and a body through which you will find a way to transcend the grievous harm that has been done to you.

God is life. It would therefore be wrong for you to stop believing that your life is anything but precious and of infinite worth on account of your past experience.

God is the way. It would be therefore wrong for you to stop believing that there is a way out of your present difficulty.

If God has not sent his angels to deliver you from your situation, if he has not transformed the ones who should have loved you into healthy, whole individuals, then maybe his answer to you is that you have to ability to rise above this situation.

Understand that your parents gave you life. For that reason, if no other, you may honor your parents by recognizing that they are the reason you are here.
But in your case, the best way to honor your parents is by not following in their footsteps.

You are a strong person in order to survive as you have. In that way you are the answer to your own prayers.

That is a hard answer to be sure. Suffice it to way that the God of the crucifix can never be an easy answer.

So you do not believe in an easy God anymore. That is not wrong. Indeed it would be a foolish illusion, worshiping of an idol even, to continue to belief in an easy god like that in the light of your own experience. That is your own personal truth. It is not wrong that you have come to accept it for what it is.

What is wrong though is to lose hope, to stop believing in your own life on that account. Indeed, if you want that better life, you will have to pick up that cross that has been thrust onto your shoulders and follow him wherever he may lead.

That is not an easy answer to be sure, but it is the answer that you have been given.

Do not be afraid then.
And do not lose hope, no matter what.

You are still alive.
That is a testimony to your own great strength.
 
Good post Grateful Fred. I retired E 7. The difference was that College diploma. God Bless:thumbsup:👍👍
 
Ncore. We can´t choose our parents. You have a Heavenly Mother and Father. Your brother is Jesus. What an inheritance you have. What power there is in Prayer. Remember how Prayer used to be. Bring it back. The Church offers you so much. Go to it. Stay on Catholic Answers. You´re not alone. I just read some real good advice from a lot of people that care for you. Remember their past is your future. I will pray for you. God bless
 
ncore said:
I don’t want to give you a life story but I used to pray all the time, up until a bit after I turned 15 (almost 16 now). Every since I learned about what was going on in my life I always prayed that it would become normal. My parents were both lousy drunks, who separated four years ago. Since then I have been stuck in the middle of their arguing. My father would never do what he promised, his beer always came first to anything he said. And my mom would always be angry from being drunk all the time. She would also force feed me saying I ate too little even though I was always full, causing me to become fat. 3-4 times a week she would take out a wooden spoon and beat me until I cried, or would finally finish my dinner. My older brother nor my father ever helped. They would always just sit there and watch and starred at me as I screamed in pain.

I always prayed to God. Prayed to him that my life would turn around, that something would happen to make me think living actually mattered. After years of praying to this so called ‘God’, I lost hope, and haven’t prayed since.

People say that atheists, or people that do not acknowledge God deserve to burn in hell. But if my life has been so terrible, do you truly believe it was wrong for me to give up on my faith, prayer, and hope?
Click to expand...
Just by what you you wrote, it is obvious that the problem is not God, it’s your dysfunctional family. God loves you, regardless of the circumstances that human beings find themselves in, or if circumstances are created by others. By your own acknowledgment, you are beginning to separate the two. If there is a relative or friend you can go live with, you might want to decide in that direction. Have you talked to your counselor at school? He or she might offer some advice in coping or what to do. Nothing is impossible, and you do not live in an impossible situation.
 
Dear ncore,
My best wishes and prayers for you.
May I suggest that whether you’re meaning to or not, your posting here shows that you’re not yet ready to give up on God, but you’re still trying to search for Him? You are very brave and I encourage you to keep trying. I believe that God provides us with the necessary strength to face the burdens we face…but I also believe that we often appreciate this much better with hindsight than while facing the trials. My hope for you is that you have and can meet positive people in your life through whom God can reveal his love and his answers to your prayers.
 
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