Is it wrong that I desire to have the stigmata?

[helec338]

I feel like I want to be as close to God as possible. I see the lives of the saints and their gifts of stigmata and I desire it, though I do get a little scared of the suffering and pain.

Is it wrong to think this way? Is this like an inner pride of wanting God? I want the visible one too, not the invisible…though I would probably be happy with any gift from God. So why do I want the visible one? I want to help others be converted and believe. But I’m also afraid that it’s vanity and pride. I feel like it would be a certain sign that God is in my life.

I also feel that I would be really freaked out by it though and a part of me doesn’t wish it for that reason.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

I think you are right that vanity and pride are definitely risks. Not just now, but if you did get the stigmata that would obviously draw attention to you and people would think you’re Some Big Deal.

OTOH, there is a part of you that I’m sure just wants to empathize with the saints and learn what it’s like to “walk in their shoes” for a little bit.

So I see mixed motives. I think it’s great to fantasize about it, but if it becomes a serious focus for you that it’s like a life goal, it may take you off the scent of the real interior transformative work that a “regular person” needs to do in order to become a saint.

Also the outward observable behavior of saints is to me, useful not so that we can do what we do, but so that it gives us insight into what’s going on inside their hearts – something that will at some point call out to our own hearts and say “here is what my love looks like.”

Frankly I don’t want the stigmata. I used to want it because I wanted people to listen to me regarding spiritual matters, and by golly if I had that I’d certainly get a lot of chances to get in front of cameras and microphones to tell about my ideas. But that was mixed motives too; one hand it was for my own power and glory and esteem, but it was also that I have a genuine desire for what I do to be a blessing to others. But now I don’t, and I’m not sure why the Lord has gifted me with removing the desire, but at the same time He has sent me so much love and healing – and the knowledge that we are all called to be saints.

Also I don’t want to “be like” any of the saints in particular. Because they did their thing and we each get to do ours. It’s like saying I can be inspired by a great musician, to want to improve my own ability to play/sing music. But I don’t want to be a clone of that person, unless my whole shtick is to be an imitator, like those who actually make a living and feed their families by imitating Elvis. That doesn’t mean they have in their heart what Elvis had, just that on the outside they can do a convincing imitation.

At some point if we want to be saints we have to discover the inner light within ourselves. Jesus referred to the living water which springs up from within us. The Holy Spirit is also referenced this way. So to me, the best thing that learning about saints can do, is to inspire and nurture that within me which wants to love and give me the guidance that Jesus promised us.

MS

 

[ClearWater]

I feel like I want to be as close to God as possible. I see the lives of the saints and their gifts of stigmata and I desire it, though I do get a little scared of the suffering and pain.

Is it wrong to think this way? Is this like an inner pride of wanting God? I want the visible one too, not the invisible…though I would probably be happy with any gift from God. So why do I want the visible one? I want to help others be converted and believe. But I’m also afraid that it’s vanity and pride. I feel like it would be a certain sign that God is in my life.

I also feel that I would be really freaked out by it though and a part of me doesn’t wish it for that reason.

I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong to want it provided it is a positive motivation, such as sharing in Christ’s sufferings.

You could ask to share in Christ’s sufferings, but just be prepared when you are granted that request. It might not manifest itself in the stigmata but suffering, obstacles, difficulties of every kind.

 

[ClearWater]

The stigmata is said to be unbelievably painful, and most who are granted it only have it in part.

Some who have had it, have gotten all kinds of unwanted attention to a point it’s embarrassing, and some get accused of being frauds.

 

[TriciaF]

The real test and real aim and true stigmata is to be unfailingly kind and Christian.
That’s harder than anything. That’s more laudible than anything.

 

[Catie59]

You could ask to share in Christ’s sufferings, but just be prepared when you are granted that request. It might not manifest itself in the stigmata but suffering, obstacles, difficulties of every kind.

So true. Dear Mother Angelica said to be very careful of what you pray for.

 

[SCHULTZZKOPF]

Be careful that pride does not fool you into sin and a fall into self-will run riot. Ask yourself why you want the stigmata. Sometimes a stigmata may not turn out the way you thought it would. So be careful what you pray for. God is always looking for victim souls. Pray for God’s will in your life - not your will.

 

[Dorothy]

I feel like I want to be as close to God as possible. I see the lives of the saints and their gifts of stigmata and I desire it, though I do get a little scared of the suffering and pain.

Is it wrong to think this way? Is this like an inner pride of wanting God? I want the visible one too, not the invisible…though I would probably be happy with any gift from God. So why do I want the visible one? I want to help others be converted and believe. But I’m also afraid that it’s vanity and pride. I feel like it would be a certain sign that God is in my life.

I also feel that I would be really freaked out by it though and a part of me doesn’t wish it for that reason.

Our Lord wants us to seek His Will in all things, and that is how we should pray.

Much can be gained by meditating on the Passion of our Lord Jesus Christ. That helps us to die to ourself and what we want. There are all kinds of saints and they certainly did not all have the stigmata. God knows perfectly how to sanctify us. His will be done!

Mother of Sorrows…Pray for us!

 

[JRKH]

I feel like I want to be as close to God as possible. I see the lives of the saints and their gifts of stigmata and I desire it, though I do get a little scared of the suffering and pain.

Is it wrong to think this way? Is this like an inner pride of wanting God? I want the visible one too, not the invisible…though I would probably be happy with any gift from God. So why do I want the visible one? I want to help others be converted and believe. But I’m also afraid that it’s vanity and pride. I feel like it would be a certain sign that God is in my life.

I also feel that I would be really freaked out by it though and a part of me doesn’t wish it for that reason.

I don’t think that anyone here can say that it is either wrong or right…I see some of both in your post…but it is a very incomplete snapshot of where you are at spiritually. So our opinions on the matter would probably say more about us that about you and your situation.

That said, I think you have been offered some very useful (name removed by moderator)ut…I would simply say that, because this is a rather involved question, it would be best for you to bring it to your confessor / pastor / spiritual director. Someone who can take some time with you and really discuss it.

Peace
James

 

[Tigg]

I feel like I want to be as close to God as possible. I see the lives of the saints and their gifts of stigmata and** I desire it,** though I do get a little scared of the suffering and pain.

I believe that in order to love and please God, we must be very careful of what “self” desires. We are told we must die to our own wishes and pursuits. A good prayer would be something like, “Jesus, I desire to become what** YOU **wish of me. Teach me, Lord, your ways and your precepts. Help me to recognize the sin in my life, aid me that I might repent of my sins, and place a desire in my heart to sin no more in order that I become pleasing to YOU.” Surely the Lord would honor those good intentions and draw you closer to Him in whatever manner He chooses.

 

[ready]

I feel like I want to be as close to God as possible. I see the lives of the saints and their gifts of stigmata and I desire it, though I do get a little scared of the suffering and pain.

Is it wrong to think this way? Is this like an inner pride of wanting God? I want the visible one too, not the invisible…though I would probably be happy with any gift from God. So why do I want the visible one? I want to help others be converted and believe. But I’m also afraid that it’s vanity and pride. I feel like it would be a certain sign that God is in my life.

I also feel that I would be really freaked out by it though and a part of me doesn’t wish it for that reason.

We should desire to be humble and simple and to love God, and we should desire to be charitable to our neighbors; we should not desire to experience extraordinary mystical experiences – God grants these for a specific purpose to his humble saints who know how to handle them without any spiritual danger to themselves, like pride, vainglory, etc… A desire for the stigmata can be a sign of pride, you know that. The good news I have for you is that one does not need the stigmata in order to convert souls: one only needs to be humble, charitable, mortified and prayerful. Rather than seeking out the stigmata, seek out a perfect love of God and of neighbor, and a more mortified life for the love of God. In all that you think, say and do seek the honor of God and the salvation of souls God bless you.