Is it wrong to break a promise?

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bobkesecki

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I struggle with this thought alot. Is it a sin to break promises? How is a promise different than a vow? If I tell someone that I will go to the movies with them, but later decide that I just don’t want to is that wrong. I have no immoral justification for breaking the promise but I just don’t think it is best even though the recipient of the promise has already fullfilled there commitments to me. Now the answer for this may be easy but what about a bigger promise. If I promise to provide a sizable donation to charity, but later regret it and decide not too. What if I promise to marry someone? Should I work towards that promise, even if it is not what I want? How is a promise or commitment to someone any less serious than any other promise? I know the Catholic Church says that promises should be kept but what if I change my mind? What if I truly ment the promises at the time but now not so much? If we are to follow God, doesn’t He keep all His promises?
 
You should never promise anything because you may not be around or be able to keep it, just say you will do your best.

Does saying this one word (promise) change what you have already said you would do?
 
“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”- Matthew 5:37

Jesus is telling us that we must remain trustworthy, that way people won’t even need to ask us to take an oath.

Breaking a promise, or any commitment, makes you harder to trust and should be avoided.
 
Does anyone have any references regarding the subject? Examples from readings, etc…Is it a sin to break a promise such as these?
 
What if I truly ment the promises at the time but now not so much?
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This is a misunderstanding of the meaning of “promise”. A promise is a statement that you **will **do something, not that you intend to. Any promise that you mean at one moment you mean for all time. This is why we should not give people our word lightly.

Promising a charity money and not giving it when the time comes is despicable.

Promising a spouse forever and then “changing your mind” is low.

Saying you’ll go to a movie and then not going? Not as big of a deal, but remember “He who is faithful in a little will be faithful in much”.
 
I actually hate to admit this But I feel so strongly that your word (Promise) is so important, that when my Brother in law broke his promise to me over something that was important to me and my family and then he decided he could not do it, I would not speak to him for the next 12 years. Yes means yes and No means NO. As stated above say maybe or you will try your best but do not promise unless you really mean it. It took me forever to forgive this and I know it hurt my growth in faith for some time until I final overcame my pride and hurt. A little sin leads to bigger ones and can hurt the one you do it too also. We are to live in love and follow Christ example as stated below. As you can see this promising and then deciding not to do it can actually cause a lot more hurt than you would believe possible as my love for my brother-in-law suffered for many years and this hurt my sister also becasue of my inability to overcome my strong feeling on this. I just hope your friends are not as unreasonable as I was, but trust does stem for your word given to others ansd others will judge you by how well you follow through with what you promise…
“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”- Matthew 5:37
 
Given the seriousness of the situation and you truly didn’t mean to, I’d say you are alright. But like others have said, don’t make a habit of it or justify breaking them all the time.

Don’t make promises unless you know for certain you can keep them. For example if someone promises you not to tell so and so about a surprise party or something, I think that is alright.
 
Why is it ok to break a promise? If I did promise to marry a girl but then changed my mind with her still fully intent on me keeping the promise what should be done? What does scripture or the Church say about such a promise? I want to do the right thing. Is the fact that I made the promise in the first place a bond that signifies a call to fullfill the promise.
 
bobkesecki said:
Why is it ok to break a promise? If I did promise to marry a girl but then changed my mind with her still fully intent on me keeping the promise what should be done? What does scripture or the Church say about such a promise? I want to do the right thing. Is the fact that I made the promise in the first place a bond that signifies a call to fullfill the promise.
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If this is the situation for someone…

This is a hard one. The marriage vow is different from the promise *to *marry. It is a very severe thing to break off either, but an engagement (ideally) maintains freedom for those engaged to break it off, if it is *extremely *carefully considered and discerned.

The question is not: do I want to marry this girl? If you promised her, you took your needs out of the equation. You have no right to hurt her, just so your life will be a little better.

The question is: will **her **life be better, in the long run, if you break this off? Will it hurt her, down the road? If the answer to this is yes, then I would say you owe it to her to break off the engagement.

But, in such a situation, advice is key! One must tell many different good counselors* the whole story*, and listen to their advice.
 
A promise not made is a promise not broken. I made up my mind many yrs ago to never promise anyone anything. It hurts when a promise is broken. I do things for others, but I never promise
 
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