Is it wrong to dislike someone?

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CRATUS

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I like one of my friends. I question our friendship often because she can easily become rigid and bossy. It is difficult to tell her something without it turning into an argument. She has an intense and sometimes overwhelming personality. I am always wondering if I should remain her friend. She has good points she is honest and loyal. Her bossiness, over opinionated attitude and uptight attitude rubs me the wrong way. I hold my tongue a lot and I hold in a lot from her.
 
CRATUS said:
I like one of my friends. I question our friendship often because she can easily become rigid and bossy. It is difficult to tell her something without it turning into an argument. She has an intense and sometimes overwhelming personality. I am always wondering if I should remain her friend. She has good points she is honest and loyal. Her bossiness, over opinionated attitude and uptight attitude rubs me the wrong way. I hold my tongue a lot and I hold in a lot from her.
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If her bossiness and over opinionated attitude irritate or upset you then simply dont be around her (friends should be somebody you enjoy being with…not someone who upsets you and makes you feel bad) …if you see her in public be cordial and polite but you are not obliged to socialize and be friends with someone who makes you feel bad…

Whatever you decide to do with regards to the friendship you should pray for her that God will bring about a change for the better in her
 
A person cannot be reduced to a few irritating habits or imperfections, which we all have. We are called to love; liking is not always possible. I have a close friend who can rub me up the wrong way quite a bit, but he’s still my friend.
 
Well, nobody’s perfect, right? :o

Everyone I know has at least one characteristic that makes them hard to deal with. In some cases, it’s an ongoing thing; in others, just something that crops up now and again. Whenever I’m tempted to dismiss someone because of a trait that causes difficulty between us, I remind myself that I’m no picnic either. There are countless people who bite the bullet when it comes to interacting with me. Why would I think I shouldn’t have to do the same with others?

That said, we all have our limits. There are plenty of people I keep at arm’s length because their behavior drives me up the wall, but I still pray for them and try to see them as God sees them. It sounds to me that you don’t dislike your friend, only some of the things she says and does. Whether it’s worth it to continue the friendship is a question only you can answer. Distancing yourself from this person because of her behavior doesn’t necessarily mean you dislike HER. If it does, however—that is, if you do indeed dislike her and not merely her actions/words, and you refuse to pray for her (or you pray for bad things to happen to her :eek:) as a result—I’d consider that wrong.
 
Christ does not require us to be a doormat.
If this person is offensive you protect yourself from bad thoughts or feelings by removing yourself from occasions of sin, like hanging around them too much.
Start laughing at everything she says. That’s REALLY annoying, and she’ll drop you! LOL

In short, no.
You can dislike someone. You can’t get even or talk ugly about them though. :o
 
pianistclare said:
Christ does not require us to be a doormat.
If this person is offensive you protect yourself from bad thoughts or feelings by removing yourself from occasions of sin, like hanging around them too much.
Start laughing at everything she says. That’s REALLY annoying, and she’ll drop you! LOL

In short, no.
You can dislike someone. You can’t get even or talk ugly about them though. :o
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I once had someone introduce me to a friend of his. Later on he e-mailed me and said that the friend he introduced me to was generally okay but only in limited doses.

I guess this would apply here.
 
If a person brings you down, you may need to sever that friendship, or at the very least limit the time that is spent with them. Some friendships are just not healthy.

However, If you feel she would be receptive if you shared your feelings, I would talk to her about it in case it could be a genuine misunderstanding. (Sometimes people are clueless as to how they come across)
 
I don’t think it is wrong to “dislike” anyone because personalities do conflict and human nature creeps up on us all the time. I think it is important to do a self examination and ask yourself do I wish her any harm? If she was in trouble would I extend loving help versus conditional? I agree with replies so far as to say we are not required to befriend everyone. I am sure Jesus didn’t have the warmest feelings toward those who spit on and mortified Him but Him being the perfect example of love, as God Himself, was able to set aside these conflicts in offering and loving sacrifice to The Father for the redemption of man.
 
Evania said:
If a person brings you down, you may need to sever that friendship, or at the very least limit the time that is spent with them. Some friendships are just not healthy.

However, If you feel she would be receptive if you shared your feelings, I would talk to her about it in case it could be a genuine misunderstanding. (Sometimes people are clueless as to how they come across)
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👍

True, but on the flip side some people know full well how they come across and just don’t give a toss. I got to a point where it became clear that this person didn’t care that she was consistently hurting my feelings and offending me (after multiple discussions on the subject). She felt she was justified in saying what she wanted to say because to her, her opinion is more important than people’s feelings.
 
DeniseNY said:
👍

True, but on the flip side some people know full well how they come across and just don’t give a toss. I got to a point where it became clear that this person didn’t care that she was consistently hurting my feelings and offending me (after multiple discussions on the subject). She felt she was justified in saying what she wanted to say because to her, her opinion is more important than people’s feelings.
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I know several people who are like that. They think everyone has a right to their opinion.

I avoid them whenever possible. I wish them well but interacting with them may lead into an occasion of sin for me.
 
Sarcelle said:
I know several people who are like that. They think everyone has a right to their opinion.

I avoid them whenever possible. I wish them well but interacting with them may lead into an occasion of sin for me.
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Yes, that’s a very good point! Some friendships can be an occasion of sin.
 
Even Jesus, in his Incarnation, liked certain people more than others. It’s normal.
 
CRATUS said:
I like one of my friends. I question our friendship often because she can easily become rigid and bossy. It is difficult to tell her something without it turning into an argument. She has an intense and sometimes overwhelming personality. I am always wondering if I should remain her friend. She has good points she is honest and loyal. Her bossiness, over opinionated attitude and uptight attitude rubs me the wrong way. I hold my tongue a lot and I hold in a lot from her.
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Jesus says ; “Hate the sin, But love the sinner”
So do.that.

Also though, the saints all said; “Only a fool thinks they can be friends with bad company and get away unscathed.”

Matthew Kelly a Catholic writer wrote: “It is better to have no friends that to have friends that might lead you to hell”

Pray about it,
Is this someone God wants you to be friends with, or avoid?
Does God want you to sometimes avoid.this person, or always.be.there for them? 🙂
 
littlestsouls2 said:
A person cannot be reduced to a few irritating habits or imperfections, which we all have. We are called to love; liking is not always possible. I have a close friend who can rub me up the wrong way quite a bit, but he’s still my friend.
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How do you manage? I am well-aware I can be very annoying too. The main thing it is difficult to tell her she is wrong or getting annoying without it turning into an argument. She always has to be right or win every argument - that is where the frustration comes. If I cannot be honest with someone, how can I be their genuine friend?
 
CRATUS said:
How do you manage? I am well-aware I can be very annoying too. The main thing it is difficult to tell her she is wrong or getting annoying without it turning into an argument. She always has to be right or win every argument - that is where the frustration comes. If I cannot be honest with someone, how can I be their genuine friend?
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You have been honest with her, however she has the choice to take your advice or to not take your advice.

You just have to take a step back and let her make that choice.
 
Sarcelle said:
You have been honest with her, however she has the choice to take your advice or to not take your advice.

You just have to take a step back and let her make that choice.
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I have not been as direct as I should be. I get it - no friend is perfect. I thought about it I am very imperfect as well. I have not thought of well-formulated argument to confront about her behavior. It annoys me that I have to. I wish I could just tell - “hey when you say this…” or talk to me in that way.
 
CRATUS said:
How do you manage? I am well-aware I can be very annoying too. The main thing it is difficult to tell her she is wrong or getting annoying without it turning into an argument. She always has to be right or win every argument - that is where the frustration comes. If I cannot be honest with someone, how can I be their genuine friend?
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How can you be their genuine friend? That is a fair question for which there is no absolute or universal solution. Friendships should be mutually beneficial; only we can judge if it’s worthwhile. Maybe try telling them, very gently, that you feel this way.

When my friend irritates me, it is generally a trifling matter; it is my impatience that gets the better of me. This friend’s good qualities are numerous, so I really can’t be bothered to dwell on the negatives. This might not be profound advice, but it helps me.
 
littlestsouls2 said:
How can you be their genuine friend? That is a fair question for which there is no absolute or universal solution. Friendships should be mutually beneficial; only we can judge if it’s worthwhile. Maybe try telling them, very gently, that you feel this way.

When my friend irritates me, it is generally a trifling matter; it is my impatience that gets the better of me. This friend’s good qualities are numerous, so I really can’t be bothered to dwell on the negatives. This might not be profound advice, but it helps me.
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I will weigh the matter. I can be too sensitive. At the same time, I know you may find it humble to blame yourself. I do not always think I am wrong. That is one thing that rubs me the wrong way about Catholicism or some of the saints. It is noble to look for your error. In most situations both parties are wrong in some ways. I do not like my feelings being invalidated. This is beyond her or your response, it is deep-rooted issue I have. Or playing a passive role in a friendship.
 
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