Is it wrong to dislike someone?

[Anglewannabe]

How do you manage? I am well-aware I can be very annoying too. The main thing it is difficult to tell her she is wrong or getting annoying without it turning into an argument. She always has to be right or win every argument - that is where the frustration comes. If I cannot be honest with someone, how can I be their genuine friend?

Well, without a specific example, I can not give the best advice. However, if in your heart of hearts you know you told her something in a friendly and charitable manner and she turns it into a power struggle, then she is the one with the issue. Some people can not communicate no matter how mature the other person is being.

As for the ‘being oversensitive’ be careful with that one. A lot of bullies will say you are oversensitive as part of their manipulation tactic.

And if you are NOT a nit picky person and still can not be honest with someone, then no, you can not be their friend

I think discernment through prayer is in order. Or specific examples

 

[CRATUS]

I am not a good communicator either. I can write. Speaking is difficult. I am not confident - makes me an easy target. I get too emotional - I cannot think of things on the spot or argument my point effectively - another easy target. I know I am not being a good friend by secretly disliking her. I should try changing a few things this new year.

 

[pianistclare]

I am not a good communicator either. I can write. Speaking is difficult. I am not confident - makes me an easy target. I get too emotional - I cannot think of things on the spot or argument my point effectively - another easy target. I know I am not being a good friend by secretly disliking her. I should try changing a few things this new year.

LOL. I can’t believe you can’t express yourself.
You have a zillion threads with many many words in them.
Just tell her “look, you’re workin my last nerve already”. And then change the subject.
It’s not so hard.

 

[Anglewannabe]

I am not a good communicator either. I can write. Speaking is difficult. I am not confident - makes me an easy target. I get too emotional - I cannot think of things on the spot or argument my point effectively - another easy target. I know I am not being a good friend by secretly disliking her. I should try changing a few things this new year.

Would it be possible to call her up and make a date to clear the air. Perhaps if you prepare in advance you will be better able to get your point across. IMO anyone who does not accept a coffee invitation to clear the air is NOT a worth having in your life

 

[guanophore]

I like one of my friends. I question our friendship often because she can easily become rigid and bossy. It is difficult to tell her something without it turning into an argument. She has an intense and sometimes overwhelming personality. I am always wondering if I should remain her friend. She has good points she is honest and loyal. Her bossiness, over opinionated attitude and uptight attitude rubs me the wrong way. I hold my tongue a lot and I hold in a lot from her.

It doesn’t sound like you dislike her, but you dislike her personality problems (results of woundedness) and offensive behaviors.

If she had inner healing and did not behave so badly, then you would not have dislike.

So no, it is not wrong to dislike bad behavior, and to be concerned about people acting out of their woundedness.

 

[guanophore]

How do you manage? I am well-aware I can be very annoying too. The main thing it is difficult to tell her she is wrong or getting annoying without it turning into an argument. She always has to be right or win every argument - that is where the frustration comes. If I cannot be honest with someone, how can I be their genuine friend?

To be a genuine friend is to be loving. Loving someone sometimes costs a relationship.

One can look into the pure mirror of Scripture to see if one is being loving:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.(I Cor. 13:4-7).

A wise pastor taught me to plug my name into this verse as a self examination. It would look something like this:

Cratus is patient, Cratus is kind.Cratus does not envy,Cratus does not boast,Cratus is not proud. 5Cratus does not dishonor others,Cratus is not self-seeking,Cratus is not easily angered,Cratus keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Cratus does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7Cratus always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

It is very challenging to be loving with difficult people, and sometimes it costs a relationship. Sometimes loving causes you to be rejected.