Is it wrong to feel lonely?

[blessedstar]

Jesus was ever so lonely on earth.

I think that the human state is a lonely one. No-one can be inside your mind with you, essentially we are all alone in some way interiorly and this loneliness is compounded when we are at times exteriorly lonely.

Unless we have faith in God this loneliness would overcome us. God is the only one who indwells us interiorly and is our constant internal and external companion. This takes the eyes of faith to recognise and I say that because in the Dark Night of the Soul the soul believes that God has left them interiorly as well as exteriorly. God allows the soul to deeply feel that loneliness.

It is not wrong to feel lonely.

I believe that sometimes God calls us to periods of solitude and in this solitude He draws us closer to Him even if we do not perceive His internal or external Presence. God calls us to know what it means to be ‘alone’ as He was in the Beginning and as He was during the Passion which is the New Beginning.

This period of loneliness you are in is not permenant, nothing ever is permenant.

Sometimes people grow to feel safe in some types of loneliness, they hate it at the same time, but they fear going out or allow shyness to stop them meeting people more than they hate the loneliness. And so even though they complain they perhaps do nothing to ease their loneliness.

Sometimes people have alot of friends and aquaintances and feel lonely. It is the ‘feeling lonely in a crowd’. I think Jesus felt this.

Sometimes people can feel spiritually lonely, they have no spiritual companion on earth they can share their experiences and prayer life with and if they attempt to share it they are sorely misunderstood. I believe this is a special grace, that God desires they are kept solely for Himself. On the other hand God can give the special grace of two souls meeting in spiritual union and friendship.

Being lonely is not a sign of failure, I believe it is a longing for Jesus and the Communion of Saints, a deep yearning that every man experiences whether they know that or not. I think we all live with loneliness to some extent.

You might like to read a little book I know of :

‘Living with Loneliness’ I don’t remember the authors name but she is a religious sister.

Continue to pray, go out and about and join in with things that you like.

I will keep you in my prayer of life for companionship with people and with God.

Everything will be alright.

 

[MTD]

God calls us to know what it means to be ‘alone’ as He was in the Beginning and as He was during the Passion which is the New Beginning.

I would note, however, that God is an eternal Trinity of Persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Maria

 

[GreyRabbit]

Thank you everyone, thank you so much for your prayers and your kind words. I will try harder to be in a better relationship with God. May the Lord get you through your troubles as well!

 

[cckz7]

Dear GreyRabbit,

I know exactly how you feel.

I would dearly love to have Catholic friends, but having made effort after effort at joining groups at my parish, doing the donut Sunday thing, praying at Communion and in fact receiving what I perceived to be an immediate answer of “NO” to my prayer … seems like it ain’t gonna happen.

For some reason, Methodists like me just fine. Maybe I’m supposed to hang out with and be an example for them … but these Methodists sure don’t give me the same kind of support that a practicing Catholic loyal to the Pope and the Teachings of the Church would.

If you practice your Catholic faith openly, perhaps our society’s cultural hostility towards Catholics is a factor. (Including the hostility of liberal Catholics towards those who follow the Pope.) You can be very very unpopular simply for loving Christ and that love happening to show as you go about your daily life. In which case, stay on the path, rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in Heaven.

~~ the phoenix

Thank you so much. I “knew” that in my head, but my heart needed to hear it… Maybe i should even make (that last paragraph) my mantra every morning when i get up…

 

[cckz7]

Jesus was ever so lonely on earth.

I think that the human state is a lonely one. No-one can be inside your mind with you, essentially we are all alone in some way interiorly and this loneliness is compounded when we are at times exteriorly lonely.

Unless we have faith in God this loneliness would overcome us. God is the only one who indwells us interiorly and is our constant internal and external companion. This takes the eyes of faith to recognise and I say that because in the Dark Night of the Soul the soul believes that God has left them interiorly as well as exteriorly. God allows the soul to deeply feel that loneliness.

It is not wrong to feel lonely.

I believe that sometimes God calls us to periods of solitude and in this solitude He draws us closer to Him even if we do not perceive His internal or external Presence. God calls us to know what it means to be ‘alone’ as He was in the Beginning and as He was during the Passion which is the New Beginning.

This period of loneliness you are in is not permenant, nothing ever is permenant.

Sometimes people grow to feel safe in some types of loneliness, they hate it at the same time, but they fear going out or allow shyness to stop them meeting people more than they hate the loneliness. And so even though they complain they perhaps do nothing to ease their loneliness.

Sometimes people have alot of friends and aquaintances and feel lonely. It is the ‘feeling lonely in a crowd’. I think Jesus felt this.

Sometimes people can feel spiritually lonely, they have no spiritual companion on earth they can share their experiences and prayer life with and if they attempt to share it they are sorely misunderstood. I believe this is a special grace, that God desires they are kept solely for Himself. On the other hand God can give the special grace of two souls meeting in spiritual union and friendship.

Being lonely is not a sign of failure, I believe it is a longing for Jesus and the Communion of Saints, a deep yearning that every man experiences whether they know that or not. I think we all live with loneliness to some extent.

You might like to read a little book I know of :

‘Living with Loneliness’ I don’t remember the authors name but she is a religious sister.

Continue to pray, go out and about and join in with things that you like.

I will keep you in my prayer of life for companionship with people and with God.

Everything will be alright.

I needed to read this Post… It sounded like God was using you to speak to me, personally…
It was “odd” that i even came to this particular forum… I sometimes feel God doesn’t care about me… but i think he cared about me at least for a few minutes here…

 

[Goblin_Taters]

You could check out Franciscan University of Steubenville.
www.franciscan.edu

It’s located in eastern Ohio, close to Pittsburgh, PA, and you’d definitely find Catholic friends here. The students come from all over the country, and even outside the country.

Perhaps you could transfer, if you’re still an undergrad?

There also are graduate programs, too, and the graduate students interact well with the general undergraduate population.

Hope that helps.

 

[cckz7]

Thank you everyone, thank you so much for your prayers and your kind words. I will try harder to be in a better relationship with God. May the Lord get you through your troubles as well!

i feel i could have written your OP…

I sometimes feel lonelier since i came back to hte Catholic faith than b4… Its because i am “too Catholic” and too outspoken…
If you ever want to get rid of someone, start preaching to them what you know about the Church

Anyway, i know i am lonely because, well there is this saying:

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges". I don’t build many bridges… but i am thinking of changing that… slowly, carefully. I have made up my mind to only be Close friends with Catholics who belive the way i do… I’ve had far too many problems w/ Protestants who don’t like the Catholic Church, don’t want to hear what i have to say. And i know too much about the Church to “go back”… or whatever… In other words, i am a different person now and a lot of my former friends just couldn’t accept the new me. i guess they weren’t good friends in the first place.

Anyway, i am praying for you. I understand…

 

[C_Bautista]

I understand what you mean about having Catholic friends! I went to a very orthodox and traditional Jesuit High School where outward display of faith was encouraged and the Christian lifestyle was more important than anything.

Needless to say, this doesn’t catch on with most kids, but there were many of us that seriously began our “adult” search for God there - and we did it together.

But now, all of my best Catholic friends each went to a different state (or at least city) for college! I am at a state university, one friend is at a private school, another at a Benedictine Abbey (Belmont Abbey University, they didn’t just make him a monk instantly ), another at a Jesuit University, another at a lay Catholic University, and on and on.

For me, I feel as though I’ve been tossed into a spiritual situation in which I’m spiritually “alone” now. There are many honestly faithful Catholics at my school, and many of them are quite active and friendly, but they don’t seem to have the same intellectual thirst for understanding as I do. It’s sort of a big charismatic thing, if you will…

The advice given to me by a Jesuit scholastic was helpful: God may have placed me in this situation to learn to depend on HIM, not worldly things or even other people, for spiritual growth and nourishment. To learn to go to God as a first choice rather than a last resort when things are falling apart.

And St. John of the Cross’s understanding of the holiness and grace of spiritual aridity (dryness) is an amazing help in miniature spiritual nights, so to speak.

I think perhaps that when we experience sudden dryness, God is preparing us for a more complete night of the soul.

I strongly recommend St. John of the Cross’s Dark Night of the Soul to you! It is very intellectually, poetically, and spiritually appealing and it addresses exactly these issues. Just on a larger scale. Think “spiritual dryness” but for years and years. Not everyone is called to experience this, of course, to be sure.

Though it kind of makes you understand why we need so much preparation with these little dry spells.

 

[Sandi]

Honey, if it were wrong to feel lonely, **all **of us would be headed to purgatory.

Even Jesus felt lonely at times. (After all, he was fully divine AND fully human.)

If you think you have a case of clinical depression, I would urge you to consult your doctor for a referral to a therapist. Clinical depression is a real illness, is no fun, and there’s no good reason for anyone to suffer from it.

Please let us know how you are.

 

[Passion33]

I sometimes feel lonely too. Most of my immediate family and relatives seem occupied with unnecessary things in their lives. Rarely does any even mention God or talk about anything religious. None of my friends who most are cousins seem to worry their souls or committing sins. (they have good hearts, but are lost in this world controlled by money, T.V. and music)

I really wish to have soemone in my life who’s love for God was strong and tried to live a clean life. We just have to realize there isn’t many people out there who live this way. People are so consumed with what society thinks is important, people like us are left out.

We are blessed though, because even with these experiences we turn to God and it stregnthens our faith. I sometimes pray that if my life has to be worse then any man, let it be, if it leads me to heaven and to be with God forever.

So I will pray for you and the rest of us who sometimes feel lonely, even though we have more then anyone because we have Him.

 

[littleone]

No it isn’t wrong, and I can tel you that I spoke to Jesus about how I felt even when I was married and was put down all the time by my wife. I felt the lonliness of a person who had all the people around but not one would speak to me.
I don’t mind so much being alone, but to have the person you live with and love ignor you then that is the worst I believe, but I can understand you in that any form of lonliness is bad.

Can I ask you though, If Jesus tells us that His love is sufficient for us then invite His love to fill you more and more that might help you, I hope so at least if you fall in love with Jesus more and more then who knows that might help the situation. What do you think?

Hey God bless I hope and pray for you.
:yup:
littleone

 

[GreyRabbit]

Hey guys, I know this is really late in coming, but I just wanted you all to know that I really appreciate all your support. It warms my heart to come back to this thread and hear so much love and kindness.

In case anybody’s wondering, I’m doing a little bit better. It seems like God has answered prayers, and my family is slowly picking itself up, though of course, we’ve got a long way to go.

Currently, the Lord has seen fit to send some people my way. One of them, is a girl my age with the faith, and though our friendship is slow going, I’m praying that God will bless it. Another, is a guy whom I’m currently ‘courting/dating’. He’s not practicing Catholic though he’s kind of started going to church. I’m praying heartily for his full re-conversion (I guess you could call it)

Thank you again for all your prayers and compassion. I’m trying to be stronger, and I hope to not let your prayers be in vain! May the Lord bless you all, and keep you always. <3