Is It Wrong to Plan What You Will Say in Confession?

[nsper7]

Yesterday, I went to Confession and, afterwards, I realized I don’t think I ever said the number of times I committed each sin and the Priest never asked (thus, I forgot to mention the numbers/frequency and the Priest never stopped and reminded me either). Also, the Priest told me not to say sins from prior Confessions, even if I had forgotten to mention them them. I thought you’re supposed to say forgotten sin in the next Confession. Maybe the Priest was giving me this advice because I am Scrupulous. Does any of this invalidate my Confession?

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Yesterday, I went to Confession and, afterwards, I realized I don’t think I ever said the number of times I committed each sin and the Priest never asked (thus, I forgot to mention the numbers/frequency and the Priest never stopped and reminded me either). Also, the Priest told me not to say sins from prior Confessions, even if I had forgotten to mention them them. I thought you’re supposed to say forgotten sin in the next Confession. Maybe the Priest was giving me this advice because I am Scrupulous. Does any of this invalidate my Confession?

You are fine! You have been absolved of all the sins you said (even if you didn’t mention specific number of times) and of the sins you thought of but didn’t say (those from previous confessions). All is well! That’s what makes the power of the confessional so awesome!!

If you do tend to scrupulosity, you should find a regular confessor and stick with him. Set up a schedule for ourself also with his advice, that way you won’t be worried about how often to go. You need a regular confessor so that you get consistent advice that you can rely on since your own ‘sin meter’ is a bit out of wack with the scrupulousness.

 

[baltobetsy]

Also, the Priest told me not to say sins from prior Confessions, even if I had forgotten to mention them them. I thought you’re supposed to say forgotten sin in the next Confession. Maybe the Priest was giving me this advice because I am Scrupulous.

Your priest is very wise and gave you excellent advice. The rules are all different for scrupulous people. Trust whatever he says and don’t worry. Even in the unlikely event that the priest tells you something wrong, it’s his sin and not yours if you obey.

Betsy

 

[Brooklyn]

Yesterday, I went to Confession and, afterwards, I realized I don’t think I ever said the number of times I committed each sin and the Priest never asked (thus, I forgot to mention the numbers/frequency and the Priest never stopped and reminded me either). Also, the Priest told me not to say sins from prior Confessions, even if I had forgotten to mention them them. I thought you’re supposed to say forgotten sin in the next Confession. Maybe the Priest was giving me this advice because I am Scrupulous. Does any of this invalidate my Confession?

You need to confess the number and kind of any mortal sins. You do not need to specify the number of times for venial sins. Again, the only sins you need to confess if you forgot them from a prior confession are mortal sins.

A confession is not a laundry list - it is telling the priest the problems you are having in following a Christian life. This is especially true with venial sins. You do not need to say how many times you gossiped, or how many times you argued with your husband, etc. You need to confess impatience or disrespect for others, basically not loving as you should. Anyway, that is how I confess.

Mary

 

[seeker_of_God]

I don’t mean to hijack the thread, but I also have a quick question.

Let’s say you committed a few sins, all of which you were truly sorry for and implored God for forgiveness with a contrite heart at the time they were committed. Then you go to confession that weekend or whenever, and you confess them, but don’t feel that same sorrow. Of course you are sorry and desire never to commit them again, but you are just relieved to go into confession and allow the grace of God to cleanse your soul.

Is it invalid if you are not just as contrite and sorrowful as you were when you committed the sins? Should you spend time beforehand thinking about those sins again and making yourself feel so badly again? Or is it OK just to go in and confess, knowing you are sorry and desire never to do it again?

That’s what I’m worried about, because it describes me pretty well. God has given me so much grace through that sacrament so that I am a completely different person from before I started going to confession. Every sin cuts to my heart when I realize that I have offended God. But when confession comes around I don’t spend time before thinking about those sins very much. I spend a few minutes recollecting my sins so that I don’t forget anything in confession, or thinking what advice I want to ask, but that’s about it. Is it OK?

 

[Brooklyn]

I don’t mean to hijack the thread, but I also have a quick question.

Let’s say you committed a few sins, all of which you were truly sorry for and implored God for forgiveness with a contrite heart at the time they were committed. Then you go to confession that weekend or whenever, and you confess them, but don’t feel that same sorrow. Of course you are sorry and desire never to commit them again, but you are just relieved to go into confession and allow the grace of God to cleanse your soul.

Is it invalid if you are not just as contrite and sorrowful as you were when you committed the sins? Should you spend time beforehand thinking about those sins again and making yourself feel so badly again? Or is it OK just to go in and confess, knowing you are sorry and desire never to do it again?

That’s what I’m worried about, because it describes me pretty well. God has given me so much grace through that sacrament so that I am a completely different person from before I started going to confession. Every sin cuts to my heart when I realize that I have offended God. But when confession comes around I don’t spend time before thinking about those sins very much. I spend a few minutes recollecting my sins so that I don’t forget anything in confession, or thinking what advice I want to ask, but that’s about it. Is it OK?

If you repent of the sin at the time of committing it, you have already been forgiven. If it’s a mortal sin, you still must confess it, but if for some reason you should die before confessing it, you would already be forgiven. So that could very well be the reason that you don’t feel the same sorrow for the sin as when you first committed it, because Our Lord has already wiped it away.

Now, if you’re saying that you’re confessing it but have every intention of going out and doing it again, then it is not forgiven. But that’s not what you’re saying. You just don’t feel the same sorrow. One thing Mother Teresa and other saints who went through the Dark Night of the Soul can tell you, feelings mean absolutely nothing. It’s your actions that matter. Your post reflects someone who loves Our Lord very much and wants to please him. IMHO, you don’t have anything to worry about.

But if you’re really concerned, you could always check with a priest.

Mary

 

[seeker_of_God]

Thank you Mary. Your post gives me encouragement.

You’re right that feelings mean nothing. That’s something I need to remember more.

 

[nsper7]

I am probably going to go to Confession today, but w/ a different Priest from last time. Should I still adhere to ‘do not Confess sins from before your last Confession, they are forgiven even if you forgot to confess them’?

 

[Spirithound]

I am probably going to go to Confession today, but w/ a different Priest from last time. Should I still adhere to ‘do not Confess sins from before your last Confession, they are forgiven even if you forgot to confess them’?

YES.

 

[marleelynn]

I go to confession once a month and make a list of my sins and what questions I have about whether or not I my have done is a sin.

 

[jmcrae]

I think I will like anonymous confession, so making an appointment can’t happen. I will just have to do the best I can. I don’t think it will take that long if I just confess mortal sins. The only thing I am having a problem with is what exactly should one say. The replies have been very helpful I have to say. But I am still thinking, should I say the sin I committed or how I committed it. There is difference in saying I had impure thoughts and telling exactly what impure thought you had. Because I am going to have to say I had impure thoughts quite frequently throughout my teenage years, less frequently through my adult years, but I am not going to be able to recall what I thought about.
I appreciate everyone trying to help, it means alot.

When is your First Confession going to be? Most likely you will receive lessons on how to go to Confession in your preparation classes a short time before-hand. along with the prayers for you to memorize (Act of Contrition, etc.).

Don’t get too hung up on “how to say it” - just say it in the way that makes the most sense to you. I have read rules that said, “don’t make a list,” and “don’t tell stories” - I’ve done both (sometimes even at the same time) and no priest has ever complained out loud about it. You will have more opportunities to ask questions about it in your preparation classes beforehand, though, and your Catechists will be able to help you.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I go to confession once a month and make a list of my sins and what questions I have about whether or not I my have done is a sin.

This is excellent advice. I do the same based on advice from my parish priest. As Bestsy said earlier, those who are scrupulous should follow the advice of their priest and not question or worry about it. For the rest of us, a monthly confession is an excellent start down the path to holiness! :getholy:

 

[marleelynn]

This is excellent advice. I do the same based on advice from my parish priest. As Bestsy said earlier, those who are scrupulous should follow the advice of their priest and not question or worry about it. For the rest of us, a monthly confession is an excellent start down the path to holiness! :getholy:

Thanks. After I go to confession, I rip up and throw away my sin list so no one sees my sins.

 

[datingtrappists]

Thanks. After I go to confession, I rip up and throw away my sin list so no one sees my sins.

The first time I brought my list into my regular confessor, he told me to not “let that fall into enemy hands”.

Actually, I have a note book that I put my list into. Since I live alone (and hardly anyone ever comes to my apartment) it is safe from prying eyes. I mark out the completed confessions after those sins have been confessed, though not to where everything is unreadable. I find it helps to go back and try to find a pattern in levels of sinfulness, such as if I’ve been overworked and overstressed, my language and anger might be a bit more frequent… etc I then make an effort to avoid the near occasion of sin… since I know being overstressed and overtired will cause me to sin with speech and anger, if I feel stress coming on, I’ll try to work on my reaction to that stress, maybe by making sure I get enough sleep, exercise, and healthy foods. Though I’ve not made any great leaps of progress, I’m a bit better now than I was last year at this time. I hope that by next year, I’ll be even better with that then.

E

 

[acadian]

I then make an effort to avoid the near occasion of sin… since I know being overstressed and overtired will cause me to sin with speech and anger, if I feel stress coming on, I’ll try to work on my reaction to that stress, maybe by making sure I get enough sleep, exercise, and healthy foods. Though I’ve not made any great leaps of progress, I’m a bit better now than I was last year at this time. I hope that by next year, I’ll be even better with that then.

E

The end of each school year is hugely stressful for me (as a teacher), and I do not like the person that I become. Usually I wait until it is all over and I am “done sinnin’” before I go to confession, but this year I thought I might get through that trying time with a little more dignity and grace if I made use of the sacrament of reconciliation DURING the madness.

It really was helpful. Father, by way of advice, told me that God wouldn’t make all the paperwork disappear, but that He would give me what I needed to get through it. And, of course he was right. I did make it through, with a little dignity and sanity still intact. God is good!

 

[Elizabeth502]

^^ I think this is an important point. Too many of us rely on confession merely after the fact, when, as I said either here or on another thread, the sacrament is also a path to spiritual formation. It’s not inevitable that temptation becomes sin; it just seems that way. I think when we take advantage of frequent confession, this becomes more obvious. It then does indeed a sacrament of prevention, so to speak.

Good for you, acadian!

 

[dnar]

I would like to say THANK YOU to everybody that helped me and prayed for me. I did my first confession today and all I can say is PRAISE GOD! I know I am forgiven. I was so worried for nothing, the sacrament of reconciliation is wonderful, truly gave to us by God.

Again, thanks to everyone. Praise Jesus!

 

[Elizabeth502]

Praise be to God for answering our prayers. I"Where two or three are gathered in my name…")

 

[seeker_of_God]

I would like to say THANK YOU to everybody that helped me and prayed for me. I did my first confession today and all I can say is PRAISE GOD! I know I am forgiven. I was so worried for nothing, the sacrament of reconciliation is wonderful, truly gave to us by God.

Again, thanks to everyone. Praise Jesus!

Yes I told you it wouldn’t be a big deal to get through! But don’t you feel wonderful when you step out of there?

Next time, you’ll probably still be nervous. But always trust in God and you will get through it, and be washed of your sins, and you’ll feel clean again once you step out of the confessional.

Oh, the graces that God gives us through this sacrament are enumerable. I wish I could recount all that God has done for me since I started going to confession five weeks ago. It has completely changed my relationship with Him. I hope it has the same effect for you.

 

[dnar]

Yes I told you it wouldn’t be a big deal to get through! But don’t you feel wonderful when you step out of there?

Next time, you’ll probably still be nervous. But always trust in God and you will get through it, and be washed of your sins, and you’ll feel clean again once you step out of the confessional.

Oh, the graces that God gives us through this sacrament are enumerable. I wish I could recount all that God has done for me since I started going to confession five weeks ago. It has completely changed my relationship with Him. I hope it has the same effect for you.

Yes! Amen, I have truly felt wonderful since confession. All those sins I have been carrying around are finally gone. I have felt great today! I was so nervous going in, but so great after it was through.