Is it wrong to want materialistic things?

[gretchenhagan]

I love my faith and try to learn more and more each day. We are an average family and my husband works very hard but yet we still struggle to make ends meet at times. I have recently started to work to help out with finances and with that tythe and give to charity, but at times I see a car that I would really like or an exspenive handbag but feel guilty at wanting such materialistic items. Is it wrong to want nice things in this life. I want to travel to beautiful places etc., but feel guilty and ungrateful because of so much poverty in the world. Here I am desiring a purse and children are suffering in the Middle East. I give so much monetarily, pray the rosary, pray every minute I can to the Lord but feel guilty for having such a pleasant life and wanting more. Is it wrong to want so many materialistic things?? Please advise.
Blessings!
Gretchen

 

[maslibertad]

Yes it is wrong. Take care of your family and dont work if you dont have to. What will you gain if you have a new purse and your soul and you chidrens soul is neglected?

 

[Trishie]

I love my faith and try to learn more and more each day… I give so much monetarily, pray the rosary, pray every minute I can to the Lord …
Blessings!
Gretchen

God bless you for your prayerfulness and generosity, Gretchen. I can see that there is much good and generosity in your heart and life, and I ask the Lord to greatly bless you and your family.

You are battling with normal human temptations.
It’s the same old situation. Adam and Eve (humankind) were given so many gifts from God, and they craved the one thing they didn’t have. They forgot to be thankful, they fell into ingratitude to God who gave them so much.

I can see that you are grateful for God’s blessings, even though, as you indicate, you aren’t wealthy. I think, when you have these normal temptations, just continue what you do when thinking of the poor who don’t have what you have. Pray for those who have not, for their spiritual and physical welfare.

But don’t feel guilty!
Thank God for what you have, and be grateful that He allows you reminders to pray for those less fortunate than you. Express your thankfulness to God often during the day.

You shouldn’t feel guilty for the gifts God allows you, but be glad of the reminder to pray for those who are poor and suffering, when you find yourself desiring what you don’t have. It’s natural, but use it to pray for the less fortunate.

So you see, all is gift from God. Even your human limitations are gift if You allow God to bring good out of them.

God bless you,

Trishie

 

[Simon_X]

I love my faith and try to learn more and more each day. We are an average family and my husband works very hard but yet we still struggle to make ends meet at times. I have recently started to work to help out with finances and with that tythe and give to charity, but at times I see a car that I would really like or an exspenive handbag but feel guilty at wanting such materialistic items. Is it wrong to want nice things in this life. I want to travel to beautiful places etc., but feel guilty and ungrateful because of so much poverty in the world. Here I am desiring a purse and children are suffering in the Middle East. I give so much monetarily, pray the rosary, pray every minute I can to the Lord but feel guilty for having such a pleasant life and wanting more. Is it wrong to want so many materialistic things?? Please advise.
Blessings!
Gretchen

Gretchen,

From reading your post, I would have to say you probably have a better handle on the proper view of materialism than most. You pray, you give to the poor, and you know that focusing on material things may be harmful. But, I also feel we need to have a proper balance when it comes to these things. Having a nice purse isn’t necessarily evil in my opionion. Having 10 or 20 purses (or whatever your thing is) might be.

Make sense?

God bless you for your care and compassion for others who have less. But at the same time, I would encourage you not to over do the guilt thing…

 

[Just_wondering]

No, I don’t think it’s wrong to want materialistic things. In fact, I don’t think it’s wrong to go out and buy yourself those things, in many cases. Here’s how I’d figure out if it’s wrong.

A: Can you afford those things? It would be irresponsible to spend money on travel or purses if you don’t have the money for your normal expenses first. If you can’t afford it, then offer up your desire for those things for the people who can’t afford their basic necessities.

B: If you can afford those materialistic things, have you helped those in need? It would be selfish to buy luxuries for yourself while refusing to help those who can’t meet their own basic needs. If you can’t afford to help others and buy luxuries for yourself, the holy thing to do would be to help others and forgo the luxuries.

C: If you can afford those things and can still help others, consider whether those things will spiritually help or harm you. Are you buying the purse out of pride, to seem more important than your friends and neighbours? Is the purpose of the vacation to indulge in sloth and gluttony, or to see the wonders of God’s creation?

If spiritual good can come of these material gifts to yourself, and you are not harming yourself or others, I see no reason why you can’t treat yourself to the luxuries of life, which are also part of this world which was created for us.

 

[Arclight]

… Is the purpose of the vacation to indulge in sloth and gluttony, or to see the wonders of God’s creation? …

How does “have fun and relax” fit into the scheme of things? Or is that too frivolous for Catholics.

 

[Just_wondering]

How does “have fun and relax” fit into the scheme of things? Or is that too frivolous for Catholics.

Okay, maybe I was being a little dramatic. Having fun and relaxing are fine reasons to take a vacation. However, people can have fun and relax close to home as well. It can cost thousands of dollars to visit another country - it could be frivolous for someone to spend thousands of dollars just for fun, when fun can be had for much less. In that case, it might be better to take a less frivolous vacation and set aside some of the money for other things. I guess what I’m saying is that you should examine your reasons for wanting expensive things. If your reasons are valid and not just self-indulgent, and if you can afford it, why not? The “gluttony and sloth” example I was thinking of was the typical “spring break” trip to Mexico to drink oneself into oblivion and pass out on the beach. Traveling to educate oneself is different from that.

And then, who am I to talk? I spent quite a bit of money on a trip to the Philippines to meet my boyfriend’s family, and to have fun and relax. I figure that I was helping a third-world economy by spending so much. Yeah, that’s what I was doing! But on the trip, I gave money to beggars (well, my boyfriend gave my money to beggars, but that’s practically the same thing), and I paid for school fees for some of my boyfriend’s younger relatives. Quite a bit of the money was spent on food for his family, too.

I did quite a bit of soul-searching before I decided that I could justify such an expensive trip. When all you hear about is the bad economy and how people are struggling, it’s hard to decide you can spend a lot of money on a luxury. I can understand the original poster’s worries about whether such trips are justifiable when other people are struggling just to eat.

 

[elliejanba]

No, I don’t think it’s wrong to want materialistic things. In fact, I don’t think it’s wrong to go out and buy yourself those things, in many cases. Here’s how I’d figure out if it’s wrong.

A: Can you afford those things? It would be irresponsible to spend money on travel or purses if you don’t have the money for your normal expenses first. If you can’t afford it, then offer up your desire for those things for the people who can’t afford their basic necessities.

B: If you can afford those materialistic things, have you helped those in need? It would be selfish to buy luxuries for yourself while refusing to help those who can’t meet their own basic needs. If you can’t afford to help others and buy luxuries for yourself, the holy thing to do would be to help others and forgo the luxuries.

C: If you can afford those things and can still help others, consider whether those things will spiritually help or harm you. Are you buying the purse out of pride, to seem more important than your friends and neighbours? Is the purpose of the vacation to indulge in sloth and gluttony, or to see the wonders of God’s creation?

If spiritual good can come of these material gifts to yourself, and you are not harming yourself or others, I see no reason why you can’t treat yourself to the luxuries of life, which are also part of this world which was created for us.

I like how you put it together. You should consider writing a book about this, alot of Catholics don’t know how to make sense of materialism.

 

[gretchenhagan]

Wow, thanks so much for the great responses. I have been struggling with these issues for a while and it is nice to get a better perspective. I feel blessed to have the things that i have. When I wash my hands, I praise God for the warm running water, when I brush my teeth, I praise God for toothpaste, same goes for my pillow I lay my head on at night, the roof over my head, etc. I praise God for all of these gifts. I even praise God for you all and for this site!
Thanks again!

 

[mom2boyz]

A smart lady I know once said the purpose of money is to bring us closer to God. If is doesn’t do that then it isn’t serving its purpose.

That doesn’t mean you can’t have nice things. Look at many of the people in the old testament. It means you should ask yourself if what you are buying gets in the way of coming closer to God. If it does, then don’t buy it. If you don’t know then pray about it.

Avoid purchasing something at that very moment. Walk away. Remember it will still be there another time and if it isn’t then maybe you didn’t really need it.

 

[Col40]

Gretchen:

You’re worrying too much if you ask me. No one said you have to deny yourself things that would bring you joy and happiness. Bottom line on giving—if everyone in the world who had something to give shared even a fraction of their time and talent with in need, the world would be a much better place. Your situation is much different from someone who hordes their money, doesn’t share their talent, and flaunts their wealth.

If you’ve got extra $$ that would allow you to enjoy something nice, and you’re not denying your immediate family (charity begins at home) anything in making that purchase–remind yourself that you are worth it and treat yourself guilt-free.

 

[Arclight]

… I can understand the original poster’s worries about whether such trips are justifiable when other people are struggling just to eat.

Someone can spend his or her last penny on the poor and they will still be among us. A trip to unwind and relax, even if it means slothfully laying around a ship’s deck or gluttonously dining at the captain’s table shouldn’t be added to someone’s conscience. Not every vacation has to have high minded principles, like gazing in wonder at God’s Own Creation.

 

[whatevergirl]

Nothing wrong with buying nice things…working towards a nice new car, or whatever. I would say though, that for many, buying name brand things is often to project an image to others, and not really about what we ourselves want. Given two identical handbags, studies have shown, women will choose the one with the designer name on the zipper, or side of the bag, as opposed to the plain, identically designed bag. I encourage you to read a book titled, ‘The Overspent American.’ It deals with ‘why we want, what we don’t need.’ It’s a major problem in our society, which is why we have a huge debt problem…people buying things to impress others, and not really thinking…can I afford this? Is this necessary? Am I looking to this item to make me happy?

I think if you are not looking for a product to make you content, then by all means…splurge now and again. It’s ok, as long as you’re making your bills, and paying off debts…and tithing. I think that tithing teaches us the proper position of money, that it all belongs to God.

Just a little shopping tip…when you see a designer bag or whatever…don’t buy it at that moment. That moment will be more of an emotional buy, than you really wanting it. Give it a few weeks…return to the same store, and hold the bag in your hands again…if you still want the bag after a few weeks, then buy it. Often, we impulsively buy something, and a few weeks later, are like…why did I waste so much money on xyz??? lol I know I have!

You sound like you are level headed with money, keep discerning, and asking questions…that’s how we grow closer in our walk with Christ!

 

[Magickman]

It is not desire for material goods that is wrong, but the exclusive focus on material goods, to the exclusion of other important facets of life.

 

[TigerKitty]

Gretchen -

Hi - You already know the answer, in your heart. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be asking the question. As I tell my students who ask me “Do I need to write this down?” I tell them that if they are asking the question, that is a good indication they should be making a note.

You know the answer…and it sounds that you are blessed with so many things that no money in the world can buy - including a good heart. Cherish those things - you don’t need any designer bags. What you already have is worth far, far more.

• TK

 

[Salonika]

gretchenhagan:

Is it wrong to want nice things in this life… Is it wrong to want so many materialistic things?? Please advise. Gretchen

I don’t think it is wrong to want nice things in this life. What would be wrong is making them the first prioirty, spending money your family cannot afford and not making the charitable donations you feel called to make. It is clear from your post that this is not what you are doing.

maslibertad:

Yes it is wrong. Take care of your family and don’t work if you don’t have to. What will you gain if you have a new purse and your soul and you childrens soul is neglected?

Don’t think that taking care of your family and working to help make ends meet are incompatible. Anyway this is something for you and your husband to decide not someone else.

And if your children are school age they’ll be at school while you are working. Can soul’s only be nourished at particular times of the day. I would have thought that bedtime would be a good time to do this.

 

[Col40]

Don’t think that taking care of your family and working to help make ends meet are incompatible. Anyway this is something for you and your husband to decide not someone else.

And if your children are school age they’ll be at school while you are working. Can soul’s only be nourished at particular times of the day. I would have thought that bedtime would be a good time to do this.

I take great offense to the idea that working mothers “neglect” their children’s souls. I’ve done both–been a working mom, SAHM, and back to working out of my home. My kids are NOT neglected. That prev. poster you quoted was quite judgemental in my opinion. Every family dynamic is different.

The OP earns her money–she has the right to decide what she wants to do with it–whether she donates to charity or gets a nice Coach purse should be no ones’ business.

Thanks to our new administration–the government will probably be deciding soon for all of us how our money will be spent anyway–so she might as well enjoy the few luxuries she can still afford while she can.