And what if it I cause women to “check me out” with the wrong intention? (sorry not to be egoistic)… Could I better utilize my time in doing something else more pleasing to God?
If they check you out because you are healthy and attractive, then they are just operating as God designed them and I don’t see that as a problem – unless you would rather have women avoid you, of course.
Who knows what intention we have for doing things? If you spent an hour in front of the hair/makeup mirror every day I might suspect you are being vain about it. But if you’re talking about dressing nicely and looking healthy, then there are perfectly good motives that range all the way from catching attention of women to taking good care of the physical body God gave you. You can never really “tease out” one motive from another, so you just have to decide IF it’s a good thing to do even if you can’t figure out WHY it is. Should you stop doing it because it attracts women? Well, in some cases, maybe. Like if you can’t make it anywhere on time because they’re blocking your way, I think I’d tone a bit. Maybe wear some shades, and some sweats.
A little more seriously, though, be careful how much joy you get from the “attractiveness” aspect of all that. For one, you won’t always look like that. But if you want to go into a celebate vocation, then be careful really because – and I’ve seen it first hand at my own parish – young priests tend to attract a huge amount of flirting from the young women around here. One or two have quit the priesthood and one got married, although I don’t know how much of it has to do with aforementioned flirting.
Given that last idea, and knowing you’re considering seminary, as your “Internet SD of the moment” I suggest that if having expensive clothes is important to you, that you “fast” from time to time by wearing very modest clothes, and go somewhere that there are people dressed different ways, some of them better than you. Maybe even the same places you go dressed up. Just get a feel of what it’s like in the various clothes, and learn how to be just as comfortable with yourself either way. Feel the very subtle vibes you get when you meet other people and because of what you’re wearing they either do or don’t seem to think they can “size you up.” Try not even telling them anything about yourself unless they ask specifically, but to listen to their stories. If someone knows you and asks about the different duds, just say something clever like, “oh I’m trying out how different looks feel.” I think it would be great if you got to where you didn’t even really notice what you are wearing during a productive day, until the end of the day and say, “oh yeah I put this on today.”
Funny thing is… I used to be materialistic back then… looks, money and having fun were all that mattered and I was truly doubting my RC faith but after several wake up calls now I (think) have transformed to a more deeply spiritual person and I am even considering seminary (for an MA) after I graduate with my BA.
IMO the most important aspect to the spiritual journey is how we are transformed. Rituals, training, and following rules are nice, but one does not need to be spiritually mature to engage in them, and there are ways of becoming spiritually mature far beyond such participation. To me, it seems if a religion us letting its people tread water and not changing and being renewed at the hand of God and under its guidance, it has very little value in helping us become clay in the hands of the Potter. Going through rituals and learning huge amounts of material is wonderful, but it you do not have love and the fruit of the spirit, then you haven’t become spiritually mature.
I have undergone some transformations myself and I’d like to hear more about your story. Can you give a couple “sound bites” of wisdom you’ve gained through these experiences? How do you know you are more deeply spiritual – is it in how you think about things, feel about things, and/or how well they seem to respond to you maybe? Have your desires or goals for what you like to do, shifted?
Alan
