Is JW preaching an invitation to marital infidelity?

[yessisan]

DH is to start a bible study at some woman’s house for her kid pretty soon, and I am not too comfortable with this idea. I don’t think a married man should be going to a strange woman’s house every week for an hour.

Wouldn’t JW preaching be an invitation to marital infidelity?

I trust DH but I just cannot understand how JWs can do this and not be worried about adultery.

 

[BibleSteve]

DH is to start a bible study at some woman’s house for her kid pretty soon, and I am not too comfortable with this idea. I don’t think a married man should be going to a strange woman’s house every week for an hour.

Wouldn’t JW preaching be an invitation to marital infidelity?

I trust DH but I just cannot understand how JWs can do this and not be worried about adultery.

Plenty of advice has been given to not put yourself in an unsupervised position which could lead to sin, or to even put yourself in a position which would raise questions in the minds of others who might want to jump to conclusions.

Another adult would normally be present in a situation like that.

A another alternative would be for him to consider doing it at your house. However, did you previously say you refused him to do that?

Steve

 

[yessisan]

Plenty of advice has been given to not put yourself in an unsupervised position which could lead to sin, or to even put yourself in a position which would raise questions in the minds of others who might want to jump to conclusions.

Another adult would normally be present in a situation like that.

A another alternative would be for him to consider doing it at your house. However, did you previously say you refused him to do that?

Steve

If he doesn’t let me do Catholic things at home, he cannot do JW things at home either. It’s gotta be the same for both.

So, are you saying there will be two adults present (as in the mother and a friend of the mother’s)? Or are you talking about DH and a publisher giving the kid the study?

 

[yessisan]

My sister in law has a lady go to her house to teach her daughter, but is not always accompanied by someone else. The mom is present sometimes, the dad is there sometimes, but not always.

 

[Hellisreal]

Yessisan,

Has it occured to you they may be ever so happy if your husband developed a good relationship with this child and the mother? Hmm. Good way to get this catholic problem out of the way, and a father for this kid.

I would not allow it. Its a scandalous proposition. They can meet at the library. with you present!

I thought they were supposed to lead spotless lives. So much for that, if it means getting a catholic out of their midst!

Dont let it happen. They would love to get rid of you. I read their publications and see the contempt they have for us.

I dont trust them, or this situation.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[BibleSteve]

My sister in law has a lady go to her house to teach her daughter, but is not always accompanied by someone else. The mom is present sometimes, the dad is there sometimes, but not always.

The whole point is to prevent 2 possibilities:

1. JW opposers are often anxious to charge us with unsubstantiated claims. For a JW to go on a Bible study alone, with another member of the opposite sex in the house, without anyone else to verify there was nothing improper going on puts them in risk of false charges. There aren’t specific rules, but plenty of advise has been given.
2. Unmarried members of the opposite sex are advised to not spend time alone together because problems can and do occur.

Unmarried dating couples are advised to use chaperones.

Steve

 

[b_justb]

yessisan:

DH is to start a bible study at some woman’s house for her kid pretty soon, and I am not too comfortable with this idea. I don’t think a married man should be going to a strange woman’s house every week for an hour.

Wouldn’t JW preaching be an invitation to marital infidelity?

I trust DH but I just cannot understand how JWs can do this and not be worried about adultery.

I think your should voice your concerns to your hubby.

When I was in the JW’s all so-called “Bible studies” were never conducted as a one-on-one encounter. There were always at least two JW’s to a single person being proselytized, some times 3 to 1. And it was always the same gender; men with men and women with women. Married couples studying together would be paired up with another married couple and or couples. If your DH is going to have a “Bible study” make sure he has valid resources. JPS makes an exceptional Hebrew translation of the Jerusalem Canon. There are several Greek to English side by side comparisons available everywhere, and of course what “Bible Study” would be complete without the Septuagint, and the Vulgate?

 

[BelFarfalla]

I think your should voice your concerns to your hubby.

When I was in the JW’s all so-called “Bible studies” were never conducted as a one-on-one encounter. There were always at least two JW’s to a single person being proselytized, some times 3 to 1. And it was always the same gender; men with men and women with women. Married couples studying together would be paired up with another married couple and or couples. If your DH is going to have a “Bible study” make sure he has valid resources. JPS makes an exceptional Hebrew translation of the Jerusalem Canon. There are several Greek to English side by side comparisons available everywhere, and of course what “Bible Study” would be complete without the Septuagint, and the Vulgate?

This makes perfect sense. If it were my husband, I’d suggest that he find a woman or two who are willing to be engaged in the bible study.

If you husband insists on doing this, then it tells you where his priorities are… and it would not be on your relationship.

Were the two of you of different religions when you married? Or did one/both of you convert afterwards?

 

[the_phoenix]

As much as I would love the opportunity to meet with a JW in the hopes of converting him, her, or them to the Catholic Church, being a single woman, there’s no way I would agree to a strange man coming into my apartment once a week.

~~ the phoenix

 

[heathernoel]

Hi!

I am sure that from your hubby’s perspective, it’s simply a chance to ‘spread’ the word. He may be looking at it from a different perspective.

But, that being said, I totally agree that you should tell him that you are NOT comfortable with this arrangement. Again, you will have to put your foot down.

hugs I know this has to be HARD for you both.

 

[yessisan]

I tried telling him again when I got home that this makes me really uncomfortable. This led to an argument and I guess I’m not his priority. He acts just as any JW does, he tried to turn it around and tell me he never opposed me being a catechist. That is a completly different setting. I go to the parish school and have a classroom full of children, I don’t go to individual homes to be with a child & his/her father.

I am very upset because he cannot see the way it’s making me feel. One more reason to not like the JWs.

Hellisreal, I think you might me right. One of my sisters-in-law (a JW) already said she wants him to divorce me, and I know this because one of my sisters-in-law told me so (a Catholic want-to-be). She also said that the JW sister will never allow me to influence my DH in any way, and the way she is, DH will listen to her. It’s like she was his mother. I mean, why else choose him of all the guys in that congregation? He’s the new guy in this congregation because we just moved, and they know he was shunned till 2 months ago. His sister is getting away w/it.

**BelFarfalla, **we were of 2 different religions when we married, but he was not a “practicing” JW. He was shunned.

**b_justb, **I know they are supposed to take someone of the same sex with them, but DH is refusing to do this because he doesn’t think it’s necessary that he takes someone.

Heathernoel, it is really hard. Thanks for the virtual hug. I really need friends…

I don’t know what to do to make him listen. He left to his meeting saying he’d be back in an hour, he didn’t really want to go because he felt bad about our argument, but he went anyway. Why is it that JWs don’t listen? Why do they always think we’re attacking them? I just don’t want my husband to be so close to a near occasion of sin, is there something wrong with that??? I know it’s wrong for a married person to go to an unmarried person’s house, especially when the spouse of that person is not comfortable with that situation. I would NEVER put him in that position.

I can’t wait for next Friday to go to Retrouvaille. I hope that helps us communicate better, because the way DH is, we really need guidance in that.

 

[Hellisreal]

I tried telling him again when I got home that this makes me really uncomfortable. This led to an argument and I guess I’m not his priority. He acts just as any JW does, he tried to turn it around and tell me he never opposed me being a catechist. That is a completly different setting. I go to the parish school and have a classroom full of children, I don’t go to individual homes to be with a child a his/her father.

I am very upset because he cannot see the way it’s making me feel. One more reason to not like the JWs.

Hellisreal, I think you might me right. One of my sisters-in-law (a JW) already said she wants him to divorce me, and I know this because one of my sisters-in-law told me so (a Catholic want-to-be). She also said that the JW sister will never allow me to influence my DH in any way, and the way she is, DH will listen to her. It’s like she was his mother. I mean, why else choose him of all the guys in that congregation? He’s the new guy in this congregation because we just moved, and they know he was shunned till 2 months ago. His sister is getting away w/it.
**BelFarfalla, **we were of 2 different religions when we married, but he was not a “practicing” JW. He was shunned.

**b_justb, **I know they are supposed to take someone of the same sex with them, but DH is refusing to do this because he doesn’t think it’s necessary that he takes someone.

Heathernoel, it is really hard. Thanks for the virtual hug. I really need friends…

I don’t know what to do to make him listen. He left to his meeting saying he’d be back in an hour, he didn’t really want to go because he felt bad about our argument, but he went anyway. Why is it that JWs don’t listen? Why do they always think we’re attacking them? I just don’t want my husband to be so close to a near occasion of sin, is there something wrong with that??? I know it’s wrong for a married person to go to an unmarried person’s house, especially when the spouse of that person is not comfortable with that situation. I would NEVER put him in that position.

Yessisan, You do have a friend in me!:console:

I could be wrong, but I am YOUR advocate here, as well as hoping YOUR MARRIAGE will make this rough road. You are up against odds I can not imagine!

Dont give up though, there is nothing they can do if YOU dont LET THEM.

Satan will not win. I am thinking you need to get away from that area. Is there any way you guys can go on a vacation or something? AWAY from these meddlers?

 

[yessisan]

Yessisan, You do have a friend in me!:console:

I could be wrong, but I am YOUR advocate here, as well as hoping YOUR MARRIAGE will make this rough road. You are up against odds I can not imagine!

Dont give up though, there is nothing they can do if YOU dont LET THEM.

Satan will not win. I am thinking you need to get away from that area. Is there any way you guys can go on a vacation or something? AWAY from these meddlers?

We’re going to Retrouvaille next weekend, away from all of them. I edited my post and added this to it.

I just hope it does something for us. I’ve heard great things about this program the CC offers. I convinced him to go after that incident we had 3 wks ago (I don’t know if you read my post “DH hit us”, so we’ll have a priest leading the program.

I try not to give up, but things are just so hard. I told him I will not allow our future children (if we’re blessed with them) to be JWs and he got upset and corrolated that with me not loving him. That has nothing to do with loving my husband.

Thanks for the friendship. I lost many “close” friends when I ended a 5.5 yr long relationship 2 yrs ago, and now I only have my sister and one girl who I barely see or talk to. It’s hard to not have people to talk to, this is why I come to CAF.

 

[Hellisreal]

We’re going to Retrouvaille next weekend, away from all of them. I edited my post and added this to it.

I dont know much yessian, but I do know some very simple truths. We may be a million miles apart, we may have very different lives, but we do have each other at times like this.

On a lighter note, hopefully its okay- on another thread a poster told another poster (I did ask to quote but heck, I am doing it anyway)

“Your Mother does wear combat boots!”
Mary does wear them Yessisan.

I thought I would come here to learn more about my faith, and I do each day, through people like you. Dont let them interfere with your marriage.
Its a sacrament to us, to them?

Your husband must be a good man or you would never have married him.

(I better check that other thread)
Good night sister!

 

[QuietTimes]

Dear Yessian,
I am so sorry that you are going through such a rough time? I am sure that you feel lonely and hurt, by all that your dh is doing and not doing. Keep hope though I went to Retro and it saved my marriage, we went in Jan 05 and it was the best thing that we did for our marriage. There were many couples of different denominations and that was not a problem. I know that your dh has many apprehensions because of what he is being taught but remember that you have the FULLNESS of the truth. We may not be able to convert people only God has the power to do that but we can always say prayer wether they want us to or not.I noticed that you live in California. We went to the retreat in San Diego it was 2 hours away but well worth the trip.
Also I can understand how you feel that you have no one to share your thoughts with in person I find myself to be in the same boat at times ( I dont have any catholic female friends) my dh is the only one I share my faith with. But it can be pretty lonely when even your dh cant do that. So my prayers are with you and pm if youd like more info on retro i will be happy to help.

 

[dawgfan]

If he doesn’t let me do Catholic things at home, he cannot do JW things at home either. It’s gotta be the same for both.

I think you both should relax this rule.

Its effect is almost like you’re both kicking God out of your house.

 

[BibleSteve]

I think you both should relax this rule.

Its effect is almost like you’re both kicking God out of your house.

There are many examples of JW women who are married to Catholic men. Our women are instructed from the Bible that although their husbands may believe something different, they are still under the headship principle of 1 Cor 11:3. The wife will not demand he not do any Catholic things in his house. She must give him the respect deserves as the head of the household, responsible before God.

(Ephesians 5:33) Nevertheless, also, let each one of YOU individually so love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.

Even if she thinks he is 100% wrong in his beliefs, she is instructed to give him deep respect, and allow him to believe as he pleases, and to allow him to follow his religion as he pleases.

(1 Peter 3:1) In like manner, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, in order that, if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of [their] wives,

 

[Ravyn_Guiliani]

Steve–where in this sentence did you read that Yessian is the one who forbids her husband from doing anything: “If he doesn’t let me do Catholic things at home, he cannot do JW things at home either. It’s gotta be the same for both.” ??? Sounds to me like they came to this conclusion together–with maybe him speaking first on the matter.
How DARE you stick your nose in someone elses’ marriage? She is not one of your JW subservient ninnies and you have no authority over her or her marriage. You overstepped your boundary with this one and you owe her an apology. And don’t try to squirm out of it either. She did not ask your advice and you have no right to offer her personal counsel. Talk about prideful and pigheaded. You have not only insulted Yessian you have also insulted her husband. If anyone had said something like this to me in the presence of my husband they would be picking up their teeth.
Ravyn
fixing mistake on next post:
you gotta be an elder. or an elder-wannabe. maybe a ministerial servant who was passed over for politics and now you have a chip on your shoulder so you offer your elder services to non-JWs…and let me guess–you are single too. Maybe you were married but your poor wife could not get out of the marriage in any other way but to cheat on you, so you got a JW sanctioned divorce and are now on the prowl for someone younger so you can ‘raise them right’…

There are many examples of JW women who are married to Catholic men. Our women are instructed from the Bible that although their husbands may believe something different, they are still under the headship principle of 1 Cor 11:3. The wife will not demand he not do any Catholic things in his house. She must give him the respect deserves as the head of the household, responsible before God.

(Ephesians 5:33) Nevertheless, also, let each one of YOU individually so love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.

Even if she thinks he is 100% wrong in his beliefs, she is instructed to give him deep respect, and allow him to believe as he pleases, and to allow him to follow his religion as he pleases.

(1 Peter 3:1) In like manner, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, in order that, if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of [their] wives,

 

[Ravyn_Guiliani]

I think you both should relax this rule.

Its effect is almost like you’re both kicking God out of your house.

who asked you? it is none of your business.Ravyn

there I fixed it.
R

 

[dawgfan]

who asked you? it is none of your business.
you gotta be an elder. or an elder-wannabe. maybe a ministerial servant who was passed over for politics and now you have a chip on your shoulder so you offer your elder services to non-JWs…and let me guess–you are single too. Maybe you were married but your poor wife could not get out of the marriage in any other way but to cheat on you, so you got a JW sanctioned divorce and are now on the prowl for someone younger so you can ‘raise them right’…
Ravyn

I got a feeling when yessian comes to my defense you probably will want to retract all that.