R
Ravyn_Guiliani
Guest
I was talking to Steve. sorry I hit the wrong button.–two windows open at the same time. my mistake.
Ravyn
- Status
Ravyn
D
dawgfan
Guest
is that an apology?
R
Ravyn_Guiliani
Guest
yes of course it is an apology. I still think it is none of your business, but the elder remakrs were for Steve not you. I was doing both posts at the same time.is that an apology?
sorry.
Ravyn
R
Ravyn_Guiliani
Guest
I spent 10 years of complete misery with interfering in-laws and I am very touchy about people offering unsolicited advice on marriage. I try myself to not offer any advice not asked for. Perhaps I am not always successful; but it is a raw spot with me. I have nothing against Dawgfan. But I do believe somethings are better left to the people involved to handle themselves and I did not see that Yessian was asking about the prudence of their decision on that matter.
sorry for the misunderstanding–Steve had me upset this time and I messed up on the posts. I am not going to let it happen again because I am done with him anyway. He is just trolling and trying to get people bickering among themselves.
Ravyn
sorry for the misunderstanding–Steve had me upset this time and I messed up on the posts. I am not going to let it happen again because I am done with him anyway. He is just trolling and trying to get people bickering among themselves.
Ravyn
B
BibleSteve
Guest
Dear Ravyn,
Please come down. Take a breath and relax. We all know you hate everything about the WTS… we got it. We’ve heard you.
You know nothing of the conversations I’ve been having with Yessisan. You don’t know if she had asked me this exact specific question by email and posted the same question publically.
Please consider if you really want to be forever controlled by your hatred for some other group of people. Get over it, move on, relax, and focus on the Scriptures, continue working on developing the fruitage of the spirit.
Please come down. Take a breath and relax. We all know you hate everything about the WTS… we got it. We’ve heard you.
You know nothing of the conversations I’ve been having with Yessisan. You don’t know if she had asked me this exact specific question by email and posted the same question publically.
Please consider if you really want to be forever controlled by your hatred for some other group of people. Get over it, move on, relax, and focus on the Scriptures, continue working on developing the fruitage of the spirit.
Q
QuietTimes
Guest
Let me add my two pennies here. First one is this Bible Steve we do not read the bible as you read it so therefore what you are stating in the above is irrelevent because you are saying it in such a way where its a only one way street, husband are the headship of the family so long as they deserve that position (we do respect our husband even if they decide to do something that lacks better judgement) and for us catholics a true understanding of marriage is that both have equal rights and respect for each other. I am surprised you didnt put any bible verses that quote that issue. I know you dont know that for catholics to be married it is a sacrament a vocation and so therefore the institution of marriage should at all times be considered . What you are saying is that since he is the head of the house because he is a man he should be allowed to do God’s work at the expense of how she feels. Wrong!!!
Second we dont take marriage lightly because it is a covenant with God that we as a couple decide to make. So the marriage itself is never taken lightly before God.
If anything else at least try to understand what it is that we truly believe before posting. You think you know but if you did you would not be a JW.
Y
yessisan
Guest
Thanks for the support. I really need it in times like these. I’d hate to bring my family in this so that is why I don’t talk to my sister much.Originally Posted by yessisan forums.catholic-questions.org/images/buttons_cad/viewpost.gif
*Quote:
We’re going to Retrouvaille next weekend, away from all of them. I edited my post and added this to it.
I heard good things about it, but never went so I will pray this helps and gives you both much more solid ground to come back with.
Quote:
I just hope it does something for us. I’ve heard great things about this program the CC offers. I convinced him to go after that incident we had 3 wks ago (I don’t know if you read my post “DH hit us”, so we’ll have a priest leading the program.
No, I did not but I will. I have seen some of your posts, but I must admit I really try not to see the JW threads unless I get a spark from a article in a magazine that gets me
I am glad you are sharing with us all this too. We take so much for granted sometimes, and God pokes us and wakes us up when we do.
Quote:
I try not to give up, but things are just so hard. I told him I will not allow our future children (if we’re blessed with them) to be JWs and he got upset and corrolated that with me not loving him. That has nothing to do with loving my husband.
Do not give up. No one here is going to let you anyway!
Quote:
Thanks for the friendship. I lost many “close” friends when I ended a 5.5 yr long relationship 2 yrs ago, and now I only have my sister and one girl who I barely see or talk to. It’s hard to not have people to talk to, this is why I come to CAF.
*
I dont know much yessian, but I do know some very simple truths. We may be a million miles apart, we may have very different lives, but we do have each other at times like this.
On a lighter note, hopefully its okay- on another thread a poster told another poster (I did ask to quote but heck, I am doing it anyway)
“Your Mother does wear combat boots!”
Mary does wear them Yessisan.
I thought I would come here to learn more about my faith, and I do each day, through people like you. Dont let them interfere with your marriage.
Its a sacrament to us, to them?
Your husband must be a good man or you would never have married him.
(I better check that other thread)
Good night sister!
You know, my husband is a great man, aside for a few things that happened recently. I love him and we married because we saw something in each other that we had never seen in anyone else. My entire family loves him, he’s a great worker, he takes care of me when I don’t feel good, he takes care of our pets, he even got me a new turtle, now I have 2 and a frog that came with the 2nd turtle ?? (hope I can take care of that poor thing). I can go on and on about the good things but the worst part in our marriage is religion. That and the fact that our communication has gone down the drain, it’s like a bipolar sesaw. One day it’s great, another is on the ground.
I do ask our Mother Mary to help me with this, I ask God to give me strength, I ask St. Monica to intercede for my DH’s conversion… sometimes I think my praying doesn’t work, but I am not giving up.
After he came back from his meeting, he said he doesn’t care how we bring up the children when and if we have them. He said we’re in this together. I hope he remembers he said this when the time comes.
Hellisreal, you’re awesome!!
H
Hellisreal
Guest
Yessisan, I just read that other thread you mentioned that I did not know about.
This is not advice but an observation:
As I said before, I THOUGHT Jw’s were to lead spotless lives.
Clearly that thread indicates to me, he is not taking HIS religion seriously let alone… (I will stop there, because I think you know what I am saying)
His directive to have mail go past you, his wife is also, telling.
I want to tell you a story about my uncle a very good protestant man. He met a woman at work with a young child. They became friendly, but my uncle fell for the kid right away. He always wanted a child. Do you know what? He told us he fell in love with the child FIRST, then later- with the mother.
I mention this since you have told us about your concerns for having children and his reaction to it.
I mention this because suddenly, Pop- out of nowhere this woman with a kid needs a “study” with- of all people YOUR husband.
It adds up to suspect behavior to me.
I also did a little investigating online checking out some former witness stories, and I dont know how old the information is, but I read that in order for a “study” to count on a witness record (brownie points) there must be 2 minamally 2 studies. One study does not cut the mustard with them.
Just an observation, not really a big concern here since I dont care if he is getting credit for the study or not, neither does he likely. He is probobly doing this because an elder engineered this whole thing with high hopes to get RID of the Catholic problem in this marriage and destroy it.
I dont trust them, they distort the truth to ludicruous proportions and I could say more but that is enough.
Why didnt your DH have to go in front of the elders to confess this shameful behavior? Dont the JW’s MAKE the members do this? I read an article on their official page that so much as made it very clear. I wish they had a CCC type format to review their teachings but I can see why they dont want to.
I dont trust them, this seems contrary to what would be considered “giving a good witness” and its not honorable to do this. I am sure there is a woman in his hall that would LOVE to have a study with this kid who needs the brownie points. I would not be surprised if men without points are still looked at more favorably then women without points. But, that is beside the point.
I would call that elder personally and demand they switch with someone else, and tell them your husband can not be involved in something that appears scandalous to the community.
Get him to commit to it in writing if possible.
This is not advice but an observation:
As I said before, I THOUGHT Jw’s were to lead spotless lives.
Clearly that thread indicates to me, he is not taking HIS religion seriously let alone… (I will stop there, because I think you know what I am saying)
His directive to have mail go past you, his wife is also, telling.
I want to tell you a story about my uncle a very good protestant man. He met a woman at work with a young child. They became friendly, but my uncle fell for the kid right away. He always wanted a child. Do you know what? He told us he fell in love with the child FIRST, then later- with the mother.
I mention this since you have told us about your concerns for having children and his reaction to it.
I mention this because suddenly, Pop- out of nowhere this woman with a kid needs a “study” with- of all people YOUR husband.
It adds up to suspect behavior to me.
I also did a little investigating online checking out some former witness stories, and I dont know how old the information is, but I read that in order for a “study” to count on a witness record (brownie points) there must be 2 minamally 2 studies. One study does not cut the mustard with them.
Just an observation, not really a big concern here since I dont care if he is getting credit for the study or not, neither does he likely. He is probobly doing this because an elder engineered this whole thing with high hopes to get RID of the Catholic problem in this marriage and destroy it.
I dont trust them, they distort the truth to ludicruous proportions and I could say more but that is enough.
Why didnt your DH have to go in front of the elders to confess this shameful behavior? Dont the JW’s MAKE the members do this? I read an article on their official page that so much as made it very clear. I wish they had a CCC type format to review their teachings but I can see why they dont want to.
I dont trust them, this seems contrary to what would be considered “giving a good witness” and its not honorable to do this. I am sure there is a woman in his hall that would LOVE to have a study with this kid who needs the brownie points. I would not be surprised if men without points are still looked at more favorably then women without points. But, that is beside the point.
I would call that elder personally and demand they switch with someone else, and tell them your husband can not be involved in something that appears scandalous to the community.
Get him to commit to it in writing if possible.
Q
QuietTimes
Guest
If you ever found out that you were lied to in a grand way you would be very upset and here we have you who still believes these lies. I question your motives for really being here too. So in her defense her faith journey has been jolted and out of sincere love you should try to understand and comprehend what is that she might be feeling. Instead of just telling her to relax.
R
Ravyn_Guiliani
Guest
exactly. marriage is a Sacrament. the only ones involved in this is the husband, wife and God. It is highly disrespectful to interfere in this relationship. And Steve crossed that line. To me, I imagine it might be the same as a Jewish person being forced to eat pork or someone spitting on the Koran to a Muslim.
Ravyn
B
BibleSteve
Guest
The Scriptures give valuable advice to both husbands and wifes…
(1 Peter 3:1-7) In like manner, YOU wives, be in subjection to YOUR own husbands, in order that, if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of [their] wives, 2because of having been eyewitnesses of YOUR chaste conduct together with deep respect. 3And do not let YOUR adornment be that of the external braiding of the hair and of the putting on of gold ornaments or the wearing of outer garments, 4but let it be the secret person of the heart in the incorruptible [apparel] of the** quiet and mild spirit, which is of great value in the eyes of God.** 5For so, too, formerly the holy women who were hoping in God used to adorn themselves, subjecting themselves to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah used to obey Abraham, calling him “lord.” And YOU have become her children, provided YOU keep on doing good and not fearing any cause for terror. 7***YOU husbands, continue dwelling in like manner with them according to knowledge, assigning them honor **as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one, since YOU are also heirs with them of the undeserved favor of life, in order for YOUR prayers not to be hindered.
Q
QuietTimes
Guest
Exactly Ravyn,
I dont know much on how JWs conduct their marriages but let me tell you it has not been exemplery. I know that many catholics married or not dont live out their faith but I am speaking on those of us who try to…
I dont know much on how JWs conduct their marriages but let me tell you it has not been exemplery. I know that many catholics married or not dont live out their faith but I am speaking on those of us who try to…
H
Hellisreal
Guest
Bible Steve,
Yessisan DOES honor her husband!
If you are accusing her of something, then say it. Dont hide behind a bible verse.
You did read Yessisans other thread did you not? The man is the stronger vessel and I am dissapointed all his bible studies with the JW’s never DROVE home that Point.
Yessisan DOES honor her husband!
If you are accusing her of something, then say it. Dont hide behind a bible verse.
You did read Yessisans other thread did you not? The man is the stronger vessel and I am dissapointed all his bible studies with the JW’s never DROVE home that Point.
B
BibleSteve
Guest
I have never met someone who is so consumed with bitterness that they think they know everything about another person.
You got everyone one of the above slams against me wrong.
Ravyn, really… please relax, I’m afraid you’re going to hurt yourself with all this anger.
Steve
Q
QuietTimes
Guest
YOUR chaste conduct together with deep respect.
If my husband was doing something that I considered not chaste where is the respect for me and for himself?
If someone outside our marriage says that they need something that either of us find questionable and are not comfortable with where is the honor and fidelity to one another. Not even my own mother has rights over me let alone someone from our parish. I consult my dh as he does me period.
If my husband was doing something that I considered not chaste where is the respect for me and for himself?
If someone outside our marriage says that they need something that either of us find questionable and are not comfortable with where is the honor and fidelity to one another. Not even my own mother has rights over me let alone someone from our parish. I consult my dh as he does me period.
Y
yessisan
Guest
If I relax it, he’ll be bringing this kid to my house to teach lies about God. How can I let that happen in my home? But we do talk about God, we give him thanks when we eat, he says his prayer to Jehovah, and I say it to God in the name of Christ our Lord.
On the other hand, I am really sad God is basically not in our marriage. I said this to DH a few months back and you know, sometimes I wish I were a JW just so we could have God present in a way, but I’ll never become one because I don’t agree w/their teachings. Besides, I already confirmed in the CC and I’m already married through the CC.
I thank you for sticking up for me, I guess Steve saw that I brought this up here, so he wanted to give his 2 cents. What Steve doesn’t know here though, is that I always ask DH if it’s ok w/him when I do something Catholic, even if I know he’ll say no I’ll do it, but I ask for respect to my DH.Steve–where in this sentence did you read that Yessian is the one who forbids her husband from doing anything: “If he doesn’t let me do Catholic things at home, he cannot do JW things at home either. It’s gotta be the same for both.” ??? Sounds to me like they came to this conclusion together–with maybe him speaking first on the matter.
How DARE you stick your nose in someone elses’ marriage? She is not one of your JW subservient ninnies and you have no authority over her or her marriage. You overstepped your boundary with this one and you owe her an apology. And don’t try to squirm out of it either. She did not ask your advice and you have no right to offer her personal counsel. Talk about prideful and pigheaded. You have not only insulted Yessian you have also insulted her husband. If anyone had said something like this to me in the presence of my husband they would be picking up their teeth.
Ravyn
Just remember that I am the one who posted here, maybe he thought I wanted to solicit advice indirectly. But don’t get upset, ignore him and you can be at peace here. You were in this thread to try and give me support, don’t let it get to you.
I know you went through a lot with the JWs, and I really appreciate that you come and share with me. It helps me when you respond to my posts.
Oh, and don’t get mad at dawgfan, I appreciate the things dawgfan says, I didn’t see the comment as something bad, but thanks again for sticking up for me!
It’s horrible to be lonely, I used to be so social, I had so many “friends” but life taught me those people we not true friends.Dear Yessian,
I am so sorry that you are going through such a rough time? I am sure that you feel lonely and hurt, by all that your dh is doing and not doing. Keep hope though I went to Retro and it saved my marriage, we went in Jan 05 and it was the best thing that we did for our marriage…
…Also I can understand how you feel that you have no one to share your thoughts with in person I find myself to be in the same boat at times ( I dont have any catholic female friends) my dh is the only one I share my faith with. But it can be pretty lonely when even your dh cant do that. So my prayers are with you and pm if youd like more info on retro i will be happy to help.
Anywho, about Retro, anything you can tell me about it will help. I’m a bit scared because I don’t know what goes on and DH being a JW might get upset if anything Catholic comes up.
Y
yessisan
Guest
Steve, I had only emailed you for your POV on the marital infidelity part, but you didn’t respond. I was just trying to confirm that he was supposed to be with another person giving the study. I wasn’t expecting judgement from your part. You really don’t know what goes on in my house.
So you know I’m not the only one telling being uncomfortable w/religious things… I asked DH if he’d care that I got a priest to bless my house, the priest told me DH didn’t have to be present, even then, he prohibited it. It is my house too, so, the fact I don’t trust the JWs has nothing to do with me not being a good wife. I am submissive to a certain point, but I will not go against God because I am supposed to be respectful and submissive wife. I respect him, and in our house, we both make the decisions. It’s not up to him what happens in my life, it’s up to me and God, w/DH in mind. I put him first in most things, I barely think about myself.
M
Mapi
Guest
Sorry for my ignorance but, what is Retrouvaille?
Thanks
Thanks
Y
yessisan
Guest
It’s a communication program. Here’s the link so you can see for yourself, I don’t know much about it, so I don’t want to tell you what it is and give you the wrong information.Sorry for my ignorance but, what is Retrouvaille?
Thanks
www.retrouvaille.org
Q
QuietTimes
Guest
Dont worry about it being catholic they have the utmost respect for poeple of other faiths. It was such a blessing and am most grateful that we went. I think that he is just paranoid and he really he nothing to worry about. There is a priest always present and you are always free to talk to him. Your dh does not have to particiapte at the mass its his decision, although I think you shouldnt skip that part of the weekend just because he cant handle anything catholic. Many couples of other faiths skipped out on the mass, just really try to to learn the dialogue techniques and you will be fine.
- Status