Is leaving mass early mortal sin?

[joe230577]

Hello everyone,

It’s Easter Sunday and we got up as usual, put on our nicest clothes and head to mass. Now normally my wife and I would drop our eleven old month son off by my parents (who are non catholic) because he tends to get extremely fussy during mass and provides a huge distraction to everyone when doing so. But this morning I wanted him to be with us because it’s Easter Sunday and I wanted the family to be together to celebrate this great occasion. Well we get to a packed church and find our seats and it becomes immediately apparent that our son was not going to cooperate. My wife is pregnant again and was a little on the emotional side this morning. So he gets fussy, she starts crying, I try to calm the baby down ad finally she takes him out into the narthex to try and calm him down some. This happened before the first reading. I followed her out a couple minutes later to check on her and the baby and sat with them in the narthex and tried to listen to the mass over the speakers but he got fussy again and before the priests homily was over, I told my wife we should just go so he could have a nap. So we left. And now I feel extremely guilty because we left early. Did I commit mortal sin?

 

[fermat]

No.

There isn’t a rule for how long one must attend Mass for you to fulfill your Sunday obligation. The Church wishes you to be there from the opening to the closing, but there is not canonical rule that dictates the amount of time.

It’s not like you were bored and decided to leave. You need to do what you need to do in these cases and I believe the Lord understands. Hey, at least you were there!

Don’t worry about it. You can always go to confession and bring this up just to remove any doubt.

 

[ora_pro_nobis]

No you didn’t commit mortal sin. Try not to worry. You had the intention of attending Mass, but circumstances prevented you. For a mortal sin to be committed there has to be 3 conditions:

1. Grave matter
   2.full knowledge that it is a grave matter
2. it must be committed with full consent.

If you had been on your own and decided after a few minutes that you couldn’t be bothered and would rather go and do something else, then you might have been in danger of mortal sin, but you and your wife were caring for your baby and you had to do what was best for them. You tried your best.

Please don’t let yourself be burdened with worry over this, talk to your priest if you want to.

God bless you

 

[joe230577]

Thanks for the responses. I guess I unnecessarily burden myself with guilt sometimes. I know the criteria for mortal sin but some things seem borderline to me and it just leads to confusion and then I just worry. The last thing I want to do is sever my relationship with God. I still might go to confession with this because I do feel guilty still but now I don’t think I’ll be as rushed about it since it isn’t mortal sin. Our priest oversees two parishes so it’s we have no weekly confession we can go to. We have to contact the priest through phone or before or after mass to set up a time for confession. He usually takes us immediately if we prefer but I sometimes feel like I’m a bother and hate to ask for confession if it isn’t absolutely necessary. I know his schedule is filled so if it isn’ta crucial situation if rather not bother him with something venial.

 

[vz71]

Only one person left the Last Supper early.
And it did not work out so well for him.

At my parish, we call leaving early the ‘Judas shuffle’.
Of course, that still does not stop anyone from doing it.

Is it a mortal sin? I doubt it. But it is rude. And perhaps something you should take up with your confessor.

 

[joe230577]

Calling it a “judas shuffle” seems a little unfair to me considering that I don’t leave mass early on a regular basis. It was a situation where it felt necessary for my child. It may have been rude as you say but try handling all the disgruntled stares from people as if to say, “shut your kid up”. If I’m distracting other people from observing mass properly, or my son is in this situation, then it felt proper to leave. Our parish is very small so while in the narthex the screaming can still be heard very well. I made the decision to remove my family so that I didn’t bother others and he could get a nap that he so obviously needed. Thanks for the opinion but it seemed a little harsh, as if I left and was not sorry. I was. I haven’t missed a mass since I became catholic. No judas am I.

 

[vz71]

Calling it a “judas shuffle” seems a little unfair to me considering that I don’t leave mass early on a regular basis. It was a situation where it felt necessary for my child.

This is called special pleading.
And it does not in any way detract from the truth that leaving Mass early is rude.

All it means is that there can be an exception to the general rule.

 

[thistle]

Only one person left the Last Supper early.
And it did not work out so well for him.

At my parish, we call leaving early the ‘Judas shuffle’.
Of course, that still does not stop anyone from doing it.

Is it a mortal sin? I doubt it. But it is rude. And perhaps something you should take up with your confessor.

It depends why someone has left early. You are not in a position to judge and so should not be making a blanket statement like that.

 

[achmafooma]

Hello, Joe.

Leaving early was almost certainly not a mortal sin. I doubt it was grave matter, and even if it was I doubt you had full knowledge. Having said that, I would encourage you to bring it up at Confession to be sure (and I would specifically ask Father if he felt your leaving was grave matter).

Your decision to have your parents watch your son during Mass is probably prudent. I know several families in a similar situation with a young child who can become distracting at Mass; one couple I know often splits up, going to two different Masses so one parent can watch the child while the other is at Mass. I don’t know if that’s an option for you if/when this comes up again. And of course, sooner or later he’ll be able to make it through Mass no-problem.

Personally, if it was at all possible, I would have stayed at least long enough to receive Communion…but we have to make prudential judgments based on the situation, and I wasn’t there, and he isn’t my child, so my opinion ain’t worth much . So all I can recommend is that you try to find ways to avoid needing to leave early again, and do the best you can with these kinds of situations when they (inevitably) crop up.

I sympathize with what I think vz71 is trying to say…many people make a habit of leaving Mass early. I see too many who receive Holy Communion and proceed directly to the door week after week, which is definitely rude. But there are legitimate reasons why somebody might leave a bit early – a medical issue or illness, another serious commitment, and, yes, a misbehaving child, especially if it might be a distraction to others at the Mass. We can’t issue a blanket condemnation of everybody who doesn’t stay 'til the very end.

God bless!

 

[Michael85]

The traditional view is that you do not fulfil the Sunday Obligation if you arrive after the Offertory (in the EF, after the priest has unveiled the chalice, which is after the Credo).

I have heard that having to care for children can excuse from Sunday Obligation. You would need to speak to a priest about this.

 

[fille_francais]

This is called special pleading.
And it does not in any way detract from the truth that leaving Mass early is rude.

All it means is that there can be an exception to the general rule.

You must have never brought lottlw children to mass. I have left with my young children before because I didn’t want them disturbing the people in prayer and listening to the mass.

Leaving early in the OPs case was not rude. It was courteous.

 

[vz71]

You must have never brought lottlw children to mass.

Indeed. I too have taken unruly children out during Mass.
Do you propose that all such instances of someone leaving Mass early are due to unruly children?
Perhaps just the majority?

If not, then you are special pleading.

 

[vz71]

It depends why someone has left early. You are not in a position to judge and so should not be making a blanket statement like that.

In that case, it is difficult to call any behavior at all rude.

I prefer not to dive down that slope.

 

[joe230577]

Well, it is quite clear vz71 has a phrase for every situation. I spoke to my priest last night and was assured that I was guilty of neither mortal sin nor the “judas shuffle”. He made it quite clear that leaving mass early on a regular basis was what that particular phrase referred to. I am guilty of no such thing. Although, I have been known to do a pretty mean “Jesus Jig” every now and then. Make of that what you will. Thanks for all the feedback fellow believers.

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

At my parish, we call leaving early the ‘Judas shuffle’.

When I read that I literally busted up and some spit flew out of my mouth and hit my computer screen but I did not care! Im glad I was not drinking coffee! I just had to let that be known!