Is marriage still a sacrament?

  • Thread starter Thread starter ozzies_girl
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
O

ozzies_girl

Guest
My husband and I work with engaged couples doing pre-marriage prep. for our parish. We are really becoming jaded after 10 years of doing this because it seems that the Church will allow absolutely anyone to get married in the Catholic church. At least in our parish, if you were baptized Catholic, you are all set for a Catholic wedding. The two kids we just got done with have barely stepped foot in a church since their baptisms, and more a less came right out and said that they just like the fact that our church is the biggest in town! What is the Church’s position on this? We’ve tried talking to our priest about our frustration, but he just says hopefully we are at least planting a seed. We are really having a hard time with that outlook. Jeannie
 
As baptized persons being married in accordance with Church law their marriage would be sacramental. However, if neither is in the state of grace, then neither would receive the sanctifying grace that would be bestowed on them through the sacrament.
 
i would think bringing your concerns to the pastor would be sufficient where your duty falls… but, i feel that your worry over the splinter in the eyes of the couple you mention might be revealing other feelings not mentioned in your post… maybe, you might consider time off from Pre-Cana… a rest may be just the fix for you… 👍

peace… 😃
 
Marriage is sacramental because God made it sacramental. We can not tarnish these signs of God’s Love; we can only treat them with contempt. The world rejects the sacramental marriage because it rejects the purpose God made marriage in the first place.

What I find interesting is that God initiated the sacrament of marriage prior to the fall of man. (see Gen 2:21-25)

The other sacraments were initiated after the fall.
The sacrifice offered by the recipient of Holy Orders would not have been necessary prior to the fall. The sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation, Holy Eucharist, Reconciliation and the Healing of the Sick, have the purpose to reconcile, heal, clean, and strengthen, they have become necessary for our salvation, our unification with the Holy Trinity.

In marriage God is allowing humanity to share in his creative work. God’s creation is an act of divine Love. God wanted his sons and daughters to share in that creation, not just by receiving it, but in love, giving of themselves to each other and creating.

God created everything, love and marriage and even sex and He found his creation to be very good.

Each and every act of intercourse between a married couple should be a sacramental act, an act that is open to life, done in love and self-giving. It is a sign of the mutual covenant between themselves and God.

The fruit and another sign of this sacrament is new life. It can be the new life that will be given a name of its own in nine months. It is also the new life created as the two become “one flesh”, as individuals give way to each other and become one that in holiness is greater than the sum of it’s parts. It is also the spiritual gifts that the two share between each other that will be manifest in works of charity, mercy and prayer, gifts that will give life to other members of God’s family.

Isn’t it any wonder that the worldly view of sex and marriage so antichrist? God did not make sex “dirty”, humanity did. God did not make marriage into temporary social contract society did.

While it is frustrating to see others (and ourselves) not living a sacramental marriage as God has intended, we should not loose hope. Those of us who are married should cultivate the love that God intended and pray for our spouses. Those of us who teach, should teach the truth and pray for those we instruct.

We should not accept the world’s diverse definitions of marriage. We should proudly and clearly promote the sacramental marriage.

We may tolerate “irregularities” in marriage for the purpose of bringing others to conversion and a commitment to start living a sacramental life. But we should never accept these “irregularities” in our own marriages and we should never approve of them in others.

The advocates for the worldview are loud and prevalent; they try to shame us into silence. It would be a mistake to hide this sacramental gift God has given.

Bill
 
To some, marriage is still a sacrament, or shoudl i say, to very few, but of course, in today’s lax society, it’s mostly a joke. Considering the divorce rate, i think too many people today find it easier to go through a year and a half’s worth of lawyers and court trials, than to sit down and sort out their own problems. Nobody wants the blame placed on them in a marital problem or any problem for that matter, but rather than oweing up to their own mistakes, they’d rather get rid of everything. People can’t give up thier pride, which is material in the sense that everyone wants it and no one can live with out it, but you don’t really need it.
 
Absolutely, I call on the graces of the sacrament to help me love my wife everyday, good mood or not.
 
Marriage is one of the sacraments instituted by Christ. This is basic Catholic teaching. Or am I missing something? :confused:
 
Marriage is definitely one of the sacraments instituted by Christ. The problem being addressed is a pastor who is willing to bestow the sacrament upon those who are not properly disposed to receive the sacrament. This is just one more manifestation of our culture’s attack upon marriage. It seems to me that it would be better for the pastor to refuse to confer the sacrament upon the named couple.
 
What makes me crazy is a deacon who tells a couple who is living together that all they have to do is go to confession the day before the wedding and then not sleep together that night!! :eek: I think it is a sin to presume upon God’s mercy by premeditating to sin and then go to confession to clean it up.
 
40.png
Beverly:
What makes me crazy is a deacon who tells a couple who is living together that all they have to do is go to confession the day before the wedding and then not sleep together that night!! :eek: I think it is a sin to presume upon God’s mercy by premeditating to sin and then go to confession to clean it up.
Click to expand...
It sure sounds as though the deacon is acquiescing in the continuing sin during the engagement period. It all makes no sense to an old timer like me. If they are already living together, what additional step do they think they are taking with marriage? Do they understand what marriage is? Do they intend their union to be permanent and binding?

If they don’t intend permanence, they are just setting the stage for a future annulment.

In my view, the church probably needs more intensive screening of couples before marriage, and should refuse marriage if they do not intend what the church intends.

But it is complicated, because the church also teaches that people do have the right to marry. So it wouldn’t do to just start denying marriage to half the couples that apply. There does need to be a lot of catechesis on this topic.

JimG
 
It certainly is a sacrament, but (it is my understanding that) if the couple is not properly disposed the sacramental nature may not attach until much later, or, perhaps, never at all.
 
Marriage is a sacrament, and my heart aches for the people that you describe, who have no idea what they are missing. Though it is, in my opinion, an insufficient answer, I, too hope that you and your husband have planted some seeds by your example.

It can be really hard for ministers to let God work in other people’s lives. We want them to have at least the same understanding of faith and level of faith that we do, if not more! But, as I have learned, I can’t make anyone believe or give anyone faith. I can only plant seeds. The Holy Spirit waters and spreads light upon those seeds.

As to denying them the sacraments, I don’t think that it is on the same par with a similar and far more public conversation going on, but what we would be saying at that point is that the couple is not really Catholic. Not even really that, but that there is no capacity for the sacrament. I would be hard pressed to say that, even though I would have similar concerns to yours.

What I would hope is that a minister, a lay minister, deacon or priest, might spend a bit more time with them than they would a couple who attends Mass regularly, or may be well known in the parish. Not that you need a Catholicism 101 quiz before marriage, but we whould have some expectation that the couple will be celebrating their marriage (not just the wedding)!
 
It seems to me that we are being a bit judgemental with “all those people out there”. People have been so poorly catechised from the age of reason onward, and so thoroughly supersaturated with sexual images and attitudes, that I wonder why we stand in judgement of them as if they were living in mortal sin. You may know better; I know better, that to think that we can live with someone as husband and wife without being married and not be in a state of mortal sin.

Anyone watched MTV recently? Or gone to a movie? Or watched TV? This group of young people is more tunde in to the media than we were, and they are fed a steady diet from age one… who are we to say that they have ever been taught that this is a sin?

Perhaps the pastor(s) are being more pastoral than we want; perhaps they are keeping some of these people in the Church long enough to change. But are we all so convinced we know these kids deepest thoughts and intentions that we can judge them? And are we all so wise and spirit filled that we can discern that these people need to be turned away?

Don’t get me wrong. I am more than willing to witness to the truth. I hope and pray that I can do so in a Christ like manner. But I don’t wear my collar backwards…
 
Ok I’m confused here. You and your husband are doing the “marriage prep”. If I understand this correctly in the Catholic Church that means that you two have been tasked with the Sacramental preparation and Catechesis on Marriage for these couples. That means according to Canon Law that you two have a big part in determining the Sacramental readiness of the couple. Just because the diocese requires a MINIMUM 6 month or year preparation does not mean that every couple pops out of the oven fully baked in six months. How many times have you recomended to the pastor that a couple is NOT ready to receive the Sacrament? It is your responsibility to say so if that is the case.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top