Is marriage valid if there is no intention to have children?

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gaetanesavoie

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my son has been married for the last 6 yrs and they do not have any children. My daughter in law told us that her children are her 11 animals which 8 cats and 1 dog and a rabbit live inside with them . she also told us that her animals comes before our son . We never knew her intentions before the wedding. Is the marriage legal according to the Catholic Church?
 
In my opinion, I think it is, especially if they were *married *in the Church. Nonetheless, I think I see what you mean: What’s the point of being married if you’re not gonna have kids? That really is quite a confusing situation.

But, I’m going to assume that there’s still time for a family to be started; six years isn’t that long in my mind.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood
 
Well, firstly none of her remarks indicate that she is unwilling to have children EVER, just that at present her animals are her ‘babies’, which of course could change in future.

Neither, from what you’ve said, is there anything indicating that they are DELIBERATELY choosing not to have children - for example using artificial birth control. Perhaps one or both is simply naturally infertile?

Finally, even if they ARE childless by deliberate choice, there may be perfectly valid reasons. It is perfectly acceptable not to have children if they would be an overwhelming burden on the health or finances (and these days even a lot of animals probably cost less than a child when you factor in costs of education and such). As long, of course, as one uses natural means like NFP or abstinence and not artificial birth control.

Short answer - there could be much more going on behind this childlessness than you know or need to know about, so don’t go assuming the worst.
 
It is possible that there are issues you are not aware of. Unless your DIL specifically tells you she has no intention of having kids please do not assume. Also she may not be comfortable sharing with you any fertility issues. Please pray for them.

My story - After DS was born, the inlaws kept questioning when we were having the next one…this went on until 2 years ago (finally they gave up) …I did not feel it was any of their business. And I always said we believed in Quality not Quantity or with Montessori being sooo expensive we could not afford another or DH had forgotten how… Truth - we have been trying and still are. Infact before we got married I was told I may never have kids ( I have many health issues that I do not care to share) and we were thrilled when we had DS without any problems. Of course now it is in God’s hands if we have another child. But I can just imagine their reaction if we do get pregnant.
 
gaetanesavoie said:
my son has been married for the last 6 yrs and they do not have any children. My daughter in law told us that her children are her 11 animals which 8 cats and 1 dog and a rabbit live inside with them . she also told us that her animals comes before our son . We never knew her intentions before the wedding. Is the marriage legal according to the Catholic Church?
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I’m not really sure this is any of your concern. There might be infertility issues. Your son might be the one who doesn’t want children. You just don’t know.

Legal does not mean valid. Legal means the requirements of the state were met. Valid is another thing. If one or both of them planned to never have children then it is possible it isn’t valid. But again . Not really your business. If you have a close relationship with your son perhaps you could tell him of your concern and ask him about it .
 
gaetanesavoie said:
my son has been married for the last 6 yrs and they do not have any children. My daughter in law told us that her children are her 11 animals which 8 cats and 1 dog and a rabbit live inside with them . she also told us that her animals comes before our son . We never knew her intentions before the wedding. Is the marriage legal according to the Catholic Church?
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Well, as others have said, you may not have all the facts.

But, if either party enters the marriage with the intent to never have children, and they actually follow through on that intent, the marriage would very likely be invalid. If they change their intent at any point during the marriage, then the marriage gains validity.

Has your son brought this up to you?

God Bless
 
I asked a priest who works in the tribunal office of our Archdiocese the same question. He said if one party goes into the marriage with the intent of never having children, flat out refusing to have children, it would make the marriage invalid.

As others have mentioned, there are fact surrounding this marriage that might not make it true in this situation. Not be reading at a particular time, with the intent of having children in the future is probably valid.
 
I have known at least two couples who never had children who really wanted them. They felt really sad because other folks accused them of not wanting children, of being selfish, etc. I know another couple that had a single child, now 18, even after their doctor told them children were unlikely to happen for them. They were very happy with their gift from God, but terribly hurt and angered by the remarks and questions of other Catholics who kept asking why they didn’t have more. Mind your own business. 😦
 
At first blush it sounds like there is no marriage.

If she before marriage had no intentions to have children and your son did not know this then for sure no marriage took place due to fraud.

In any case putting animals before humans is a no no.
 
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buffalo:
In any case putting animals before humans is a no no.
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There are other possibilities in the reply attributed to the original posters daughter-in-law “that her children are her 11 animals which 8 cats and 1 dog and a rabbit live inside with them.”

Could be that she was trying to divert a question she did think appropriate and/or that she did not want to answer. I’ve used the same technique when asked why I’ve never married as I don’t think I have to explain this. I would never think of asking someone why they were married.
 
I suppose the marriage is probably valid; not to be unkind, I believe your daughter in law is a serious “nut case”. I have a whole house full of “critters” that I love dearly, but they don’t even come close to what I feel for my wife. I suppose if your son is happy I wouldn’t go too ballistic, but I would make sure they were informed on Church teaching on contraception.
I remember what an animal lover my sister was before she got married. Then came the first baby. She still loved her pets but they slipped way down the line of priorities in her life.
 
I am sorry that I did not explain myself very clearlyI asked my daughter in law once if there were planning to have children . That was at the beginning of there marriage, She mention all the time that her cats are her children. it just come up in casual conversations.she is very passionnate about it… Also they haven’t been to church since their wedding. I believe there is cause to worry ,but I do stay out of it and I never interfere. honest! somtimes I feel guilty not saying anything. So many things happen that is cause for concern like when my son’s daughter comes to visit , she has to sleep on the couch because one of the male cat(not spayed ) live in the spare bedroom for the last six years. unbelievable! her family were told to mind their own business when they say anything about her cats. she cannot afford to take them to the vet and some of the cats are not very healthy. I cannot eat at their house because of the smell . What can I do?
 
gaetanesavoie said:
I am sorry that I did not explain myself very clearlyI asked my daughter in law once if there were planning to have children . That was at the beginning of there marriage, She mention all the time that her cats are her children. it just come up in casual conversations.she is very passionnate about it… Also they haven’t been to church since their wedding. I believe there is cause to worry ,but I do stay out of it and I never interfere. honest! somtimes I feel guilty not saying anything. So many things happen that is cause for concern like when my son’s daughter comes to visit , she has to sleep on the couch because one of the male cat(not spayed ) live in the spare bedroom for the last six years. unbelievable! her family were told to mind their own business when they say anything about her cats. she cannot afford to take them to the vet and some of the cats are not very healthy. I cannot eat at their house because of the smell . What can I do?
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Pray. It still looks like no marriage exists because based on what you said she never intended to have children.
 
gaetanesavoie said:
I am sorry that I did not explain myself very clearlyI asked my daughter in law once if there were planning to have children . That was at the beginning of there marriage, She mention all the time that her cats are her children. it just come up in casual conversations.she is very passionnate about it… Also they haven’t been to church since their wedding. I believe there is cause to worry ,but I do stay out of it and I never interfere. honest! somtimes I feel guilty not saying anything. So many things happen that is cause for concern like when my son’s daughter comes to visit , she has to sleep on the couch because one of the male cat(not spayed ) live in the spare bedroom for the last six years. unbelievable! her family were told to mind their own business when they say anything about her cats. she cannot afford to take them to the vet and some of the cats are not very healthy. I cannot eat at their house because of the smell . What can I do?
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Pray, Not a lot else unless you want to call Child Protective Services . Or let your grandaughter’s mother know of the unsafe , unhealthy conditions. You seem to be piling more of the responsibility on your daughter in law than your son. Your son bears a lot or responsibility here. Talk to him and try to get him to see reason. Yes I agree that as a Mother I would be worried. He’s obviously fallen away from the church and obviously not taking proper care of his child .
 
gaetanesavoie said:
my son has been married for the last 6 yrs and they do not have any children. My daughter in law told us that her children are her 11 animals which 8 cats and 1 dog and a rabbit live inside with them . she also told us that her animals comes before our son . We never knew her intentions before the wedding. Is the marriage legal according to the Catholic Church?
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Was your son aware of her intentions or lack there of for not having children? Because if your son was not aware of her intention to NOT have children then the marriage could possibly not be right according to the church. And if your son wants children he could possibly get the marriage annulled so that he can find someone else who wants children.
 
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