I read that article when it first came out in 2008, and it scared me. I’m 28, a single woman, and I’m not getting any better looking. Eeep. I know I’m not called to be a nun or a single person (being celibate is NOT POSSIBLE for me), so what is the hold up?
I must ask you this question: do you know what love is?Last question, and then I’m out of here.
Is it possible to marry someone without love? I’m using “love” here in its romantic context. Obviously I can love someone in the way that many people would label “as friends,” but I’ve never really experienced that head-over-heels, I’d-do-anything-for-you kind of feelings. Generally I’m not too emotional, and admittedly I have a tendency to be indifferent or too careful. I don’t get sexually attracted to anyone. I may be physically attracted to anyone, but once his personality or attitude (or his interaction with me) is revealed to be not something of my preference, I’d quickly lose interest.
A little off-topic, but I wanted to give this point a big thumbs-up.
Marry someone who has no romantic love the way you do and be honest about it. That would work best. Or seek till you find someone you DO love.Last question, and then I’m out of here.
Is it possible to marry someone without love? I’m using “love” here in its romantic context. Obviously I can love someone in the way that many people would label “as friends,” but I’ve never really experienced that head-over-heels, I’d-do-anything-for-you kind of feelings. Generally I’m not too emotional, and admittedly I have a tendency to be indifferent or too careful. I don’t get sexually attracted to anyone. I may be physically attracted to anyone, but once his personality or attitude (or his interaction with me) is revealed to be not something of my preference, I’d quickly lose interest.
Earlier I made the “Love Isn’t a Feeling, It’s a Decision” thread. Part of the reason I asked was that I felt like I could definitely *decide *do love someone and stick to it regardless of how I feel about that person. This may not how many of you may interpret that phrase, but this is how I saw (see?) it. Would this be a wise method to get married, though? As someone who was raised in a large family, I’ve always wanted to raise a large family of my own and the only way to achieve this is by first finding a husband. I imagine most men who are halfway decent, though, would want true love to be an important ingredient of their marriage.
(name removed by moderator)ut?
I have my best friend who is a gay Catholic man, and we have seriously talked about this (being alone does that to people). That way we would be accepted in the church. And I would have a built-in stylist, chef, personal trainer, and someone to sing show tunes with. Hey! That’s an idea. Lol. Not many of my friends who are married have sex or romance anyway.
Agreed, although I’d be cautious with appreciating persistence alone and I’d warn anyone against overdoing the reward aspect of a woman’s yes to marriage proposal.My impression is that ahoyhoy just hasn’t had anyone who has been able to “push her buttons”, if you get my drift. She seems to have not met a potential spouse who can be persitent enough to overcome her fears/antipathy/vows of chastity, or whatever it is that makes her not interested. I was taught from a young age that one of the very important ‘manly qualities’ was persistance. So, when the right man comes along, he just might have to be a little more persistant and insistant!
Gee, one of my aunties was absolutely hounded by the man who eventually married her. She couldn’t stand him for a long time. From what I have been told, the ‘courtship’ lasted around three years! Eventually something “clicked” and they had over thirty years of wonderfully happy marriage. Bloody persistant man he was too…
I agree. Something like that should be mutual or at least the other party should know where he stands.
I doubt that would withstand the criteria of canon 1095, i.e. psychic ability to undertake and perform essential obligations of marriage.
Not saying any $2 book is automatically bad or anything like that, but you know what I mean. 
Life is life, but, “oh no, we didn’t go stargazing this particular night!” is not a healthy approach to a relationship supposed to lead to marriage. On the other hand, I do find it rather sad how some would forego all the mutual affection, even if it is not strictly essential. Still, a too romanticised outlook is prone to putting certain man-made and less important things ahead of a sacramental marriage.Read C.S. Lewis’ book “The Four Loves”, particularly the chapters entitled “Eros” & “Charity” respectively. That gave me some insight on this matter & IMO was a pretty good answer.Last question, and then I’m out of here.
Is it possible to marry someone without love? I’m using “love” here in its romantic context. Obviously I can love someone in the way that many people would label “as friends,” but I’ve never really experienced that head-over-heels, I’d-do-anything-for-you kind of feelings. Generally I’m not too emotional, and admittedly I have a tendency to be indifferent or too careful. I don’t get sexually attracted to anyone. I may be physically attracted to anyone, but once his personality or attitude (or his interaction with me) is revealed to be not something of my preference, I’d quickly lose interest.
Earlier I made the “Love Isn’t a Feeling, It’s a Decision” thread. Part of the reason I asked was that I felt like I could definitely *decide *do love someone and stick to it regardless of how I feel about that person. This may not how many of you may interpret that phrase, but this is how I saw (see?) it. Would this be a wise method to get married, though? As someone who was raised in a large family, I’ve always wanted to raise a large family of my own and the only way to achieve this is by first finding a husband. I imagine most men who are halfway decent, though, would want true love to be an important ingredient of their marriage.
(name removed by moderator)ut?
Excellent. Not the only way to think about it, but certainly a crucial criterion.
When I think of my two or three closest male friends, I have no sexual aveto them, but I love them deeply, and I have no doubt that I could be married to them or someone very like them, because of common interests, common faith, how much I enjoy spending time with them, etc.