Is Masturbation a sin?

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Hi Juneboy

Sorry your wife is going through her illness. I am sure you love her even though she is sick. Rest assured God loves you as you love your wife, only better. What do you think your wife would want for you sexually, or if the tables were turned and you were sick what would you want for her? Just something to think about. Make your own decision, just be sure you are ok with it in your heart.

If I were in your position I’d have no problems with masturbating, but I am single, so I realize I shouldn’t. But that is just me and I am no longer around a woman that reminds me of many sexually happy times, as you are.

Thank you for having a long marriage. I hope it is a source of joy for you, your wife and family. But anyway, God is compassionate, unlike many of the people that post here seem to be.
 
originally posted by teachccd
This is ludicrous! First off, you cannot tell this man in his seventies what his sex drive is. It’s his, for crying out l
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Don’t most men have an active sex drive or** at least think they do **but that doesn’t mean he always ready to go… He mention he only occasionally masturbates. Why can’t he only occasionally be intimate with his wife if at all possible?
And then you go on to finding a way to make his wife “comfortable” so that he can have sex. Are you serious? So if my wife were to become paralyzed I should prop her up and make her comfortable for sex?
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I know a number of woman in wheelchairs. They are intimate with their husbands. I really didn’t relate the issue of being uncomfortable to MS. I thought there may be a another reason for the discomfort. There are different stages of MS, some more advanced than others. All he tells us is that the MS is affecting her mobility. I don’t know how advanced this disease is or what he has discussed with his wife or the doctor. This article says it could be dryness.

healthology.com/multiple-sclerosis/video2738.htm
 
originally posted by St_Aloysius
The truth is, though, it’s a very natural thing, as well. The Church isn’t without sympathy. Hence why the Catechism, in addressing this matter, is very clear that one should not necessarily beat oneself up over it.
It’s hard for me, a 14-year-old, not to look at this as a venial sin. I fall into this temptation pretty regularly. I’m not proud, but I’m going to deny it
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We live in a very highly sexualized community. The woman will jump all over for this one but I feel it is much more difficult for the young males. You should seek out confession with a priest.

You are 14, and you realize that it is at least a “venial sin”. If not confession, seek the advise of a priest. Maybe someone on here could send a PM with the name of a priest in your area.

Have you read some of web sites geared to teens for battling impurity?
 
Hi,

I’m starting to think their is a high level of insanity amongst Catholics dealing with masturbation! (For the record in 2 years of being Catholic I have masturbated twice and 3 times just allowed a release in bed)

But I found a “Examination Of Conscious” Guide from "Catholic Faith alive. It starts with mortal sins and lists them thusly:
  1. Missed Sunday Mass or Holy Day
  2. Received Euchaist in state of Mortal sin.
  3. Masturbated
#3!!! C’mon!

it’s followed by:
4. Adultery
5. Kissed Passionattly!!! (c’mon!!)
6. Homosexual act
7. Contraception
8. Dwelled on impure thoughts…

part 2 is those which may or may not be venial or mortal.
  1. Lying
  2. Stealing
  3. Lords name in Vain
  4. Fighting…
    etc.
What the heck are these people thinking!!??

This is typical of the insanity. CCC clearly states our predisposition of maturity level, anxiety (sexual anxiety is anxiety) habit can take all of the sin or at least reduce the seriousness of masturbation.

I submit that the “Catholic Faith Alive” is commiting a much more serious act by that patently absurd guide to confession!

Please read your NT. Note Christs compassion to “sex criminals” and less towards zealots and pharisees. And leave Onan out of it…sheeesh!

Here’s a link to the “guide”:
cfalive.org/ReadConfession.htm

W
 
There have been some great posts on this forum 👍
originally posted** by Whalstib**
I submit that the “Catholic F!aith Alive” is commiting a much more serious act by that patently absurd guide to confession
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That is just one or many guides. By your post, I’d say the sin has not been a problem for you.

My post to St_Aloysius on seeking confession or even advise from a priest also has to do with other issues that he has been questioning.

I want to post this link again for Juneboy,

healthology.com/multiple-…/video2738.htm
originally posted by PennitentMan
There should be small amendments made for people like you who, inside a loving marriage cannot be intimate with their wives.
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This, for me, is the most difficult. Each relationship is different.

There are also chemical response. Dr. Diggs, Dr. Kerovac and Physicians for Life have done a number of articles on oxytocin, vasopressin and prolactin and the effects on the human.

“prolactin also explains why men are sleepier after intercourse than after masturbation. For unknown reasons, intercourse orgasms release four times more prolactin than masturbatory orgasms, according to a recent study.”
 
Juneboy said:
I am married and in my 70’s. My wife and I have had a very satisfying sex life for most of our long mariage. During the past few years it has become painful for my wife to have intercourse and in addition she has a MS which affects her mobility. I am in good health and have the same sexual desires that I have had when we were able to have frequent sex. There is a great deal of frustration in dealing with varying aspects of my wife’s MS. I feel pained that I cannot do much to stop the progression of the disease. I also feel guilty seeing her struggle while I am lying there in bed looking for sexual satisfaction. My only recourse in occasional masturbation. I had a conversation with a priest about 10 years ago (prior to my current situation) who told me to forget about confessing masturbation since it is not something that anyone confess now days. In addition, the entire subject of sexual morality in the Church needs to be examined. I read Father Charles Curran’s book on sexual morality when he had the run-in with the Vatican when they stopped him from teaching at Catholic University.

I am looking for some (name removed by moderator)ut and your thoughts on my current situation.
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If you are interested in authentic Catholic teaching, you shouldn’t pay any attention to what Fr Curran has to say. Look at his record.
 
PennitentMan said:
{snip}
First, the Catholic Way is that Masturbation is wrong…in any form, shape or way.
They teach this and enforce it religiously…pardon the pun.
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Since it is a moral wrong, it cannot possibly do any of these things:
They do not care if it will help you mentally or physically. They do not care that it would make you a better spouse, since the yearning will be lessened in dealing with your wife. They do not care that it is most probably what stands between many men and full blown pornography or adulterous affairs…
{snip}
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…and does not have anything to do with “caring”
 
Clearly masturbation is not honorable conduct and is sinful. Human law, human experience teaches this.

Firstly, its a form of self pleasure. If it were painful, would we do it ?

Secondly, its pleasure for us is far inferior to heterosexual relations.

However IMO, I think two married adults should have some freedom to pleasure each other and foreplay is great. Manual manipulation & oral stimulation by wife / husband of partner should be acceptable … provided the final, ultimate loving event is standard I.C. … so no seed is spilled as Onan did. No anal play allowed either. No B.C. except for rhythm methods … per Catholic teachings.

If the wife is not able to have I.C. … then she should be allowed to stimulate the husband to orgasm by manual means.

Sexual activity outside of marriage is clearly disordered. If one commits the M. sin … confess and sincerely seek to order your life so that it is pleasing to God.
 
gam197 said:
There have been some great posts on this forum 👍

That is just one or many guides. By your post, I’d say the sin has not been a problem for you.

My post to St_Aloysius on seeking confession or even advise from a priest also has to do with other issues that he has been questioning.

I want to post this link again for Juneboy,

healthology.com/multiple-…/video2738.htm

This, for me, is the most difficult. Each relationship is different.

There are also chemical response. Dr. Diggs, Dr. Kerovac and Physicians for Life have done a number of articles on oxytocin, vasopressin and prolactin and the effects on the human.

“prolactin also explains why men are sleepier after intercourse than after masturbation. For unknown reasons, intercourse orgasms release four times more prolactin than masturbatory orgasms, according to a recent study.”
Click to expand...
 
gam197 said:
There have been some great posts on this forum 👍

That is just one or many guides. By your post, I’d say the sin has not been a problem for you.

My post to St_Aloysius on seeking confession or even advise from a priest also has to do with other issues that he has been questioning.

I want to post this link again for Juneboy,

healthology.com/multiple-…/video2738.htm

This, for me, is the most difficult. Each relationship is different.

There are also chemical response. Dr. Diggs, Dr. Kerovac and Physicians for Life have done a number of articles on oxytocin, vasopressin and prolactin and the effects on the human.

“prolactin also explains why men are sleepier after intercourse than after masturbation. For unknown reasons, intercourse orgasms release four times more prolactin than masturbatory orgasms, according to a recent study.”
Click to expand...
I was editing my last post too long and was timed out.

Thanks for the link.

Don’t dismiss the writings of Rev. Charles Curran. He has many valid points as to why the Church hierarchy has been unwilling to take a new look at the many rules that have been pronounced regarding sexual morality.

I have also read a number of books by Neale Donald Walsch in the series “Conversations With God”. I do not have any conclusions as to what he purports to be coversations with God or whether they are just his own internal musings. However, it is his opinion that religions in general can be both a help and a hindrence in furthering the spiritual life of an individual.

I have been a Catholic all of my life and will be until the day that I die. After reviewing my own experience and education as a Catholic I believe that the teachings of the Church focus too much on sins and sinning and especially on the sexual sins.

The Christian anti-sexual nature dates all the way back to about 400 a.d. to the historical figure known as Saint Augustine (354-430 a.d.). Even after 1600 years, the theology he created is still the basis for Western Christianity.

Augustine, as a young man, was extremely sexually-driven. At age 32, he converted to Catholicism and, thereafter, devoted his life completely to the church. In one of his two most celebrated writings, Confessions, he writes about his prayers to God: “Give me chastity and continence, but not just now.”

After his conversion to Catholicism, he renounced his sexual nature and shifted to the exact opposite, extreme sexual repression. He proclaimed “The more you give up, the closer you get to God.” He believed in “Original Sin” which proclaims man as inherently evil. He also believed that the only way to combat original sin was via God’s grace which was available only through sexual renunciation.

Are there any individuals on this Forum who are priests or Catholic Educators or are we all just stating our own view on these matters?
 
Janet_S said:
Not acceptable either.
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Our bodies in marriage are to be shared. So, while a man or women are not to pleasure themselves … a partner should be free to show their spouse some loving attention.

Now you might say this would open a can of worms. But, we can’t police the bedroom of married couples. Christians need to explore their options … and find out what lovemaking suits them best.

Certainly most conjurgal options are to be preferred … over masturbation by either partner in private [apart from the other].
 
davidv said:
Quote:
Originally Posted by PennitentMan
{snip}
First, the Catholic Way is that Masturbation is wrong…in any form, shape or way.
They teach this and enforce it religiously…pardon the pun.

Since it is a moral wrong, it cannot possibly do any of these things:

Quote:
They do not care if it will help you mentally or physically. They do not care that it would make you a better spouse, since the yearning will be lessened in dealing with your wife. They do not care that it is most probably what stands between many men and full blown pornography or adulterous affairs…
{snip}

…and does not have anything to do with “caring”"
Click to expand...
Well, first of all, the “morality” of masturbation is totally man-made. Jesus made mention of all the sins, pitfalls, and dangers, and backing that up in MUCH greater details are the laws in Leviticus and other O.T. books.

I fail to see how God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit labelled this as immoral, or even sinfull…
It was done by man, maybe because they cannot control their feelings, maybe because they are scared of anything sexual…

And, you can say that this “man” is infallable when it comes to these things, but how can things be infallable when they only hurt the followers that want to do good and be faithfull?

The fact that the sin is so obscurely reasoned out as being immoral, the fact that people and marraiges suffer becasue of this rigorous affirmations, shows me that maybe they can care a bit more…

This poor man is aching and yearning and there is no hope for finding peace in these teachings.

Find peace inside the teachings, you say? Well, that’s pretty much saying “keep quiet, accept it and move on, sorry to hear about your situation, but I can’t help you.”

PS: A bit of history, I’m not Catholic anymore. The fact that the Church is so wrong in it’s sexual teachings - specifically between a married couple is what drove me away, so pardon me if I’m a bit pessimistic about this poor man finding any help in the Church.
 
From a woman point of view, I find it unacceptable.

When my husband did this, I’d felt degraded. I know of women(one had a hysterectomy) whose husbands did this and they felt it was find.

I couldn’t stand that they felt it was OK and told them so.It is degrading for their husbands.
 
I try my best not to commit this act, but my wife is totally fine with it. She knows I would not think of anything, or if I did have a thought, it would be of her. Her drive is very low, and likes the idea that it would help me ‘deal’ with my very high drive in a limited way. It has no spiritual aspect to it, but it does help me not be so ‘needy’.

With all that said, I respect the teaching of the Church, though I don’t agree with it at all. But I take it she knows better than I. I could have a worse cross to bear; this one is fairly light in the grand scheme of things.
 
Dear OP.
You are right: there is a whole bunch of psychological factors in play when we abuse things, people, our sexuality or some substance… No one would deny that. Like me: I often over-eat… probably because I am bored or insecure or have some trauma… but eating did not heal the cause of the problem… it only makes more and more unhealthy and unattractive in my own eyes… To stay on topic: one year ago I fell into sexual sin with a man I really loved… I could give reasons: I longed to get close to him out of love… and then it got out of control… As a human being I need intimacy and love… I was lonely… needed fulfillment and release from sexual tension…
All these reasons are valid to a certain degree to explain behaviour… but they don’t give a solution.
Did I have anxiety that might be released in the moment of intimacy?.. yes, but then what happend afterwards: an ever growing need to go further and further down the road of “relief”… then follows an addiction and then you fall into a new anxiety and unease… the anxiety where you know you are living in sin, cant stand infront of Christ-Our-only-Hope… betrayal of true love and holy sacramental love-making… knowing we hurt also significant others by our behaviour and risk our own health…

Yes satan can always find seemingly good solutions to our immediate tensions by launching us down the path to hell where we are soothed for a moment only. Then when we have drunk his poison we are left in little pieces that Jesus can come to collect.

Sinning in order to relieve tension… its like drinking salt water in order to relieve thirst.
Our inner image and likeness of God knows it when we make excuses for accepting something which is less than we are called for. The response is nausea, unease, a need to excuse ourselves, and in the end a feeling of failure and low self esteem.

Herioc love for ourselves and others is the only way… you are called to walk in this love by Christ, who is Truth, because nothing else will really fulfill you.

Peace be with you <><
 
Dear pennitentman…

So now you teach “sola scriptura”, is that it?

I find it problematic that there are people on this thread that say that masturbation is not a problem when there are other brothers on this forum, whom though the guidance and help of the Holy Spirit try so hard to overcome this sin.

I can see it in no other way than that you and others encourage these little ones to sin and thereby you help lead them to fall.

I am sorry it has come to that point for you that your own feelings dictate truth to you to this extent.

You are right that we have a right and duty to question teachings and even dogma … but to say that people blindly accept things just because they reach a different conclusion than you is just wrong.

Shalom …
 
I’m glad we’re having this discussion!!! I am not a Catholic but I became a born again Christian 6 years ago. When I married my ex husband neither of us were Christian (although he was Irish Catholic). He regularly masterbated on his own and we did do it together. I had been a ‘liberated woman’ and felt in touch of my sexuality. So don’t think masterbation is just a male subject.

While pregnant with our 4th child (a child he wanted to have aborted) he started an affair with a lady at his work and who he now lives with. I did find out till our 4th child was 7 months old. I say I didn’t know, I didn’t have proof. After the child’s conception he refused to have a physical relationship with me.

Masterbation for me has been out of loneliness and now I’m following the Lord and not having a fling. It does get hard when you have the physical want/need. I want to do it God’s way, I have come to realise that celibacy is a gift to some and God does give those gifts to those who live a celibate life. I know God has given me a sexual drive to enjoy only in marriage, so I see it that is given me hope, that He does have a marriage in His plan for me.

Sex is God’s plan to be used in marriage and is the glue, when used in the right way, that can keep a marriage together. It isn’t dirty or wrong. We aren’t perfect but we should be trying to be more like Christ. It is so easy for me to say that but I have to be honest and say some months it is hard for me to not do it, but then I feel terrible after because I know God doesn’t want me to be doing it. I try and be patient, pray and focus on Him and sometimes I succeed.

😊
 
Primrose…
good encouragement.
You are strong and thanks for being a good role model.
Jesus bless you and welcome here 🙂

Grace 👍
 
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