Is my confession valid?

[PeterValsan]

Recently, I went to confess my sin of pornography that i had just done in the afternoon prior to my confession. I had also done the same sins for the past 18 years and regretted it promising myself not to do it again.

So during confession, I told the priest that i have sinned many times through pornography. He asked me if this sins was done in the past sins and if i had stop doing it. I was confused as to what to answer. I said YES (meaning i had stopped doing it) in my nervousness. My reason is that i have decided to give up the sins before going for confession. But that would mean that i have not done it presently.

So i then immediately told the priest that i had sinned through pornography recently. However out of shame i did not tell him specifically that i have sinned in the afternoon prior to the confession. The priest then asked me if i had confessed the sin before. I said no and that i am confessing it now. He then went on to give me absolution.

I would like to know if my confession is valid?

regards,
Peter

 

[Seatuck]

It sounds valid to me. You answered his questions. True, you could have answered in more detail. He could have asked you more questions if he thought it was necessary. In the future you should not hold back anything you think is important. Now that you have a clean slate it will be easier to remember kind and number. Now that you have lived experienced a difficult confession you should be able to be more “free” in the next one. God created confession for this very reason. It helps our humility when we have to verbally confess our sins out lout do another human being. He’s teaching you this. You seem to be getting the message and growing.
If it is still really troubling you then you might mention in your next confession that you may have held back details that were important to your confession but you aren’t sure. The priest will ask you the necessary questions.
Go to confession more frequently now . Especially if you are conscious of a mortal sin. It will get easier.

 

[PeterValsan]

Thanks Seastuck!

That answers my question. In future when i do confess my sins i will take your advise to be humble and not hold anything back.

I really appreciate that you have taken the time to answer my questions.

Thank you and God Bless!

 

[Fuerza]

Looking at it objectively, and assuming that your intentions were not to be deceptive, your confession was likely valid. That said, you may wish to go back to confession before you go to Communion and get the priest’s take on the situation. He may be able to help you to better discern what your true intentions were. That is not to say that you necessarily committed a mortal sin, but it’s the safer route and will take away any anxiety that you may experience.

 

[palmas85]

Recently, I went to confess my sin of pornography that i had just done in the afternoon prior to my confession. I had also done the same sins for the past 18 years and regretted it promising myself not to do it again.

So during confession, I told the priest that i have sinned many times through pornography. He asked me if this sins was done in the past sins and if i had stop doing it. I was confused as to what to answer. I said YES (meaning i had stopped doing it) in my nervousness. My reason is that i have decided to give up the sins before going for confession. But that would mean that i have not done it presently.

So i then immediately told the priest that i had sinned through pornography recently. However out of shame i did not tell him specifically that i have sinned in the afternoon prior to the confession. The priest then asked me if i had confessed the sin before. I said no and that i am confessing it now. He then went on to give me absolution.

I would like to know if my confession is valid?

regards,
Peter

If you confessed truthfully and you had a firm purpose of amendment, which means that you sincerely want to stop the sins that you have committed, then the confession was valid and you are absolved. Even if you forgot a sin or two along the way. Confession can be very stressful and it is not uncommon to forget things now and then, I know that I have

That being said, if you deliberately hold back some sins or you don’t have the firm purpose of amendment, the the confession is not valid.

 

[Marsha_Adams]

Pornography is a grave sin, but sometimes it is more than a sin, it is an addiction. In cases of addiction free will becomes impaired as does the ability to resist temptation. If you think that pornography has become an addiction with you, you should discuss this with your confessor. He may be able to direct you to help in overcoming the addiction and ultimately the sin.

It may be that it is not the pornography that is the addiction but the physical sin that usually goes along with it. In which case, once the addiction is overcome both of the sins will be resistable too.

Marsha

 

[TurboVW]

I’ve had the same nagging question myself…but this time I had a priest yesterday who went on a diatribe and got almost cross (I gave a regular confession, he stopped me and began his “talk.”)

He gave me aboslution, but right before that said this isn’t the right type of confession, and that I need a “spritual confessor” (this was at a church in the city I frequent on my lunch breaks.)

However, is this still valid even if the priest was, in my opinion, having a bad day or whatever it was that caused him to change his demeanor?

It was the first time I had gone in possibly 7-8 months…it’s still bothering me today.

 

[bilop]

I’ve had the same nagging question myself…but this time I had a priest yesterday who went on a diatribe and got almost cross (I gave a regular confession, he stopped me and began his “talk.”)

He gave me aboslution, but right before that said this isn’t the right type of confession, and that I need a “spritual confessor” (this was at a church in the city I frequent on my lunch breaks.)

However, is this still valid even if the priest was, in my opinion, having a bad day or whatever it was that caused him to change his demeanor?

It was the first time I had gone in possibly 7-8 months…it’s still bothering me today.

As long as he absolved you, you are fine.

Were you going into a lot of detail about your sins? Some priests don’t like that, especially if there is a line for confession. They just want kind and number of sins. This is probably what he meant. Confession is not the same as spiritual direction.

God Bless

 

[TurboVW]

Thank you

Well, there’s always a line there, and it was towards when confession would end. He actually demanded I go into more detail on the details I gave.

Maybe he was just tired…

 

[bilop]

Thank you

Well, there’s always a line there, and it was towards when confession would end. He actually demanded I go into more detail on the details I gave.

Maybe he was just tired…

Yes. Priests have bad days too. Don’t worry about it.

God Bless

 

[PeterValsan]

Thanks for all your comments!

I have decided to go back to confession and take it on with the priest again. This time I intend to tell him the details as honestly as i can and move on from there. I think this is the safest approach.

I will have you all in my prayers. Pray for me too.

Your brother in Christ,
Peter

 

[TLM08]

Recently, I went to confess my sin of pornography that i had just done in the afternoon prior to my confession. I had also done the same sins for the past 18 years and regretted it promising myself not to do it again.

So during confession, I told the priest that i have sinned many times through pornography. He asked me if this sins was done in the past sins and if i had stop doing it. I was confused as to what to answer. I said YES (meaning i had stopped doing it) in my nervousness. My reason is that i have decided to give up the sins before going for confession. But that would mean that i have not done it presently.

So i then immediately told the priest that i had sinned through pornography recently. However out of shame i did not tell him specifically that i have sinned in the afternoon prior to the confession. The priest then asked me if i had confessed the sin before. I said no and that i am confessing it now. He then went on to give me absolution.

I would like to know if my confession is valid?

regards,
Peter

There will be people reading this who won’t like what I have to say, but this is a critical battle for the souls of us men. As a man who struggled with this same sin for 35 years, I know what has worked in my situation.

Masturbation and pornography must be treated as TWO different vices that reinforce each other to enslave men. Pornography instantly lights up our arousal mechanism like a match on gasoline soaked coals! Viewing pornography makes masturbation unavoidable. The conscience gets overpowered every time as your nervous system soaks in the pleasures from the flood of hormones and chemicals that are released in the brain. After the physical release of masturbation, the conscience regains it’s awareness and the resulting guilt can be incredible. Satan wins again!

Most good people will tell you to pray, attend regular confession, take cold showers, walk the dog and many other things to overcome pornography and masturbation. There are all good things to try, but my experience is that time after time, failure is right around the corner.

HERE’S THE KEY: Go ahead and make prayer a bigger part of you day. Immediately round up your entire collection of pornography and destroy it! (Don’t just put it in a dumpster because a child might find it and here we go again!) Clean up all the areas in your life that you can. Root all impure television, movies and music from your life. This slowly purifies the mind. Attend regular confession. Forget walking the dog and the cold showers! For most men, at best it’s just putting the deed off until later in the day. When the urge hits and you KNOW you are about to fall, give yourself permission to skip the pornography. Immediately say an act of contrition for maturbating and beg God to give you the grace to develop a pure hatred for pornography!

To many people who have never had this struggle, this might not seem like a solution, **but what has occured is that the pornography and masturbation have been separated! When this happens, the pornography IMMEDIATELY looses it’s power. ** For most men, masturbation and pornography cannot be given up at the same time. But I was absolutely shocked to discover how easy it was to give up the porn once I realized I could land in the grass after a fall instead of landing on the concrete! Remember you are on a road that leads to purity, it’s going to take time to get there.

Work on becoming the most loving, giving and godly Catholic husband you can be. Focus all of your God given sexual energy into the marriage bed. The next morning as you get ready for work, say a silent prayer in your heart thanking God for giving you a beautiful wife to share this gift of intimacy with. Ask God to flood your heart, mind and soul with his grace! In a short amount of time, you’ll find that the masturbation will become much less frequent and eventually crawl to a stop. If you do happen to fall after you thought this sin was behind you, just get to confession and realize how far you’ve come! There’s no doubt in my mind that all men can eventually stop doing both of these evil things, but the masturbation and pornography must be SEPARATED before they can be stopped, and the pornography MUST be stopped first.

Victory over this sin is a lot closer than you think!

God Bless!

 

[Kolbelover]

Peter…

TLM is right when he says that these sins are at the forefront for the battle for men’s souls. This IS PRECISELY the battle that Satan wishes to wage against us, because it twists and distorts God’s plan for us

I too, have battled this problem for many years. You CAN overcome it…by surrendering it at the foot of the cross. In addition, we have the strongest ally imaginable to aid us in our fight for purity: Our Blessed Mother

here’s some imagery that helps me:

when we pray the Hail Mary, we say

Blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus

But the enemy wants to turn the womb in to a tomb (hence abortion, contraception)…it is all part of the enemy’s master plan against us. To extend the imagery out a bit further, Mary’s womb was the first Tabernacle for Our Lord…when we objectify a woman’s femininity, and reduce her to a sum of her parts, we desecrate that life-sustaining force by which Our savior came into the world… Woman is God’s masterpiece…and we see in her the hope of all mankind. As such, we are right to ask for the Assistance of Our Blessed Mother to be free of this evil… Bring your woundedness to her in humility and beg her to allow you to be her servant for Him. Your devotion to her will be abhorrent to the enemy.

Another thing that helps me as i consider the inate beauty of a woman’s body is to remember that it is not “a body”, or “anybody”

it is somebody

there are men who will help you, brother…IM anytime, if you wish

in Christ Through Mary

 

[teachccd]

There will be people reading this who won’t like what I have to say, but this is a critical battle for the souls of us men. As a man who struggled with this same sin for 35 years, I know what has worked in my situation.

Masturbation and pornography must be treated as TWO different vices that reinforce each other to enslave men. Pornography instantly lights up our arousal mechanism like a match on gasoline soaked coals! Viewing pornography makes masturbation unavoidable. The conscience gets overpowered every time as your nervous system soaks in the pleasures from the flood of hormones and chemicals that are released in the brain. After the physical release of masturbation, the conscience regains it’s awareness and the resulting guilt can be incredible. Satan wins again!

Most good people will tell you to pray, attend regular confession, take cold showers, walk the dog and many other things to overcome pornography and masturbation. There are all good things to try, but my experience is that time after time, failure is right around the corner.

HERE’S THE KEY: Go ahead and make prayer a bigger part of you day. Immediately round up your entire collection of pornography and destroy it! (Don’t just put it in a dumpster because a child might find it and here we go again!) Clean up all the areas in your life that you can. Root all impure television, movies and music from your life. This slowly purifies the mind. Attend regular confession. Forget walking the dog and the cold showers! For most men, at best it’s just putting the deed off until later in the day. When the urge hits and you KNOW you are about to fall, give yourself permission to skip the pornography. Immediately say an act of contrition for maturbating and beg God to give you the grace to develop a pure hatred for pornography!

To many people who have never had this struggle, this might not seem like a solution, **but what has occured is that the pornography and masturbation have been separated! When this happens, the pornography IMMEDIATELY looses it’s power. **For most men, masturbation and pornography cannot be given up at the same time. But I was absolutely shocked to discover how easy it was to give up the porn once I realized I could land in the grass after a fall instead of landing on the concrete! Remember you are on a road that leads to purity, it’s going to take time to get there.

Work on becoming the most loving, giving and godly Catholic husband you can be. Focus all of your God given sexual energy into the marriage bed. The next morning as you get ready for work, say a silent prayer in your heart thanking God for giving you a beautiful wife to share this gift of intimacy with. Ask God to flood your heart, mind and soul with his grace! In a short amount of time, you’ll find that the masturbation will become much less frequent and eventually crawl to a stop. If you do happen to fall after you thought this sin was behind you, just get to confession and realize how far you’ve come! There’s no doubt in my mind that all men can eventually stop doing both of these evil things, but the masturbation and pornography must be SEPARATED before they can be stopped, and the pornography MUST be stopped first.

Victory over this sin is a lot closer than you think!

God Bless!

Your post is right on target!! I could not agree with you more!!!

 

[TLM08]

Your post is right on target!! I could not agree with you more!!!

This method of stopping the porn/masturbation cycle was discovered after years of trying to stop by prayer, confession and willpower and meeting with failure time after time. It’s important to stress that I am not advocating masturbation, I am simply offering this to my fellow man as ONE way to break this cycle.

Without masturbation, porn has very little power. Stop the porn first… with time, the masturbation habit will slow to a stop as the mind slowly becomes purified. I must add that any time you KNOW you are going to fall… DO NOT under any circumstances view any other images like underwear ads or whatever else to enhance the act. If you do, you will be right back to porn in no time. Daily prayer, regular confession and Mass attendance will all be critical to your success! Be patient with yourself and with God’s grace in your quest for a pure mind you will win!

 

[Genesis12345]

I do not comprehend your logic. You stated that you just looked at pornography and than went to confession. Why would you do that?

I would say that you were not sorry. Looking at pornography intentionally and than confessing it, what do you expect the priest to do if you have lied about it?

Confession isn’t a magic show where you can think I can commit any sin and know if I go to confession I will be forgiven. I would say no because you looked at pornography and now you want to be forgiven? Why, if you do it over and over? How could you possibly be sorry for something that you do over and over again? If you keep on confessing this to the priest, you are going to find a very uncompassionate priest that will REFUSE you absolution because you are not showing any sorrow. And he has that right to refuse you absolution. Now if it is a serious problem with you and you are seeking help, the priest probably will absolve you, but if you have no intentions of giving it up, why should he? He has the power to forgive and to retain sins. It is has become a habit, than you certain need some kind of professional help. Confession in some way might help you, but that is not ther answer. If you were an alcoholic and you went to confession week after week, it is not going to solve your problem. You need to see a professional. Please be apprised that I am not judging you, but merely trying to make logic in what you are conveying.

The way I understood it is, you will go to confession and than immediately get “hooked” on to pornography. Confession is a magical trick, you need professional help.

I will ask the Holy Spirit who is so powerful in the confessional to bless you and that you may proceed for counseling. What is pornography? It is a fantasy and you know it is going to lead you into sin because you are in that environment. What does pornorgraphy prove? That you are spending money in looking at this “junk” and you are promoting the owner who shows this "trash."

" No matter how great the sin or how many, the sinner need only to repent and seek God’s mercy. The Lord is always there, waiting with open arms. Forgiveness will certainly be granted by this loving God who “wants none to perish but all to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9] But if is a habit, only the priest can direct you in confessing.

 

[TLM08]

TLM08;4282586:

I do not comprehend your logic. You stated that you just looked at pornography and than went to confession. Why would you do that?

I would say that you were not sorry. Looking at pornography intentionally and than confessing it, what do you expect the priest to do if you have lied about it?

Confession isn’t a magic show where you can think I can commit any sin and know if I go to confession I will be forgiven. I would say no because you looked at pornography and now you want to be forgiven? Why, if you do it over and over? How could you possibly be sorry for something that you do over and over again? If you keep on confessing this to the priest, you are going to find a very uncompassionate priest that will REFUSE you absolution because you are not showing any sorrow. And he has that right to refuse you absolution. Now if it is a serious problem with you and you are seeking help, the priest probably will absolve you, but if you have no intentions of giving it up, why should he? He has the power to forgive and to retain sins. It is has become a habit, than you certain need some kind of professional help. Confession in some way might help you, but that is not ther answer. If you were an alcoholic and you went to confession week after week, it is not going to solve your problem. You need to see a professional. Please be apprised that I am not judging you, but merely trying to make logic in what you are conveying.

The way I understood it is, you will go to confession and than immediately get “hooked” on to pornography. Confession is a magical trick, you need professional help.

I will ask the Holy Spirit who is so powerful in the confessional to bless you and that you may proceed for counseling. What is pornography? It is a fantasy and you know it is going to lead you into sin because you are in that environment. What does pornorgraphy prove? That you are spending money in looking at this “junk” and you are promoting the owner who shows this "trash."

" No matter how great the sin or how many, the sinner need only to repent and seek God’s mercy. The Lord is always there, waiting with open arms. Forgiveness will certainly be granted by this loving God who “wants none to perish but all to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9] But if is a habit, only the priest can direct you in confessing.

TLM08 here… I did not write the above message…Genesis12345 wrote it! I don’t know why it says QUOTE TLM08… But anyway…

To whoever wrote the above : You may not comprehend his logic, but with all due respect sir, I do not comprehend your post! I would hope the Original Poster would not allow the above post to frustrate his desire to stop this sinful habit.

Every week, confessionals all around the world are full of people who fall to this sin… Yea sometimes even on the same day of the confession! You see, this is the nature of Satan… He only has power over us if we allow him to have it. Pornography is Satan’s nuclear weapon. Take that away from him and the war on lust is a lot easier to fight!
Peace!

 

[Genesis12345]

Genesis12345;4283894:

Your logic in morals shock me! Why shouldn’t he give it up? Yes, we all sin and so do I, but it is no reason to continue doing what this man is doing just because he will be absolved.

According to my training as a seminarian, he is ABUSING the Sacrament of
Confession.

If he has no intention of giving up looking at pornography, why go to Confession? He is making a mockery of the Sacrament. How can he say he is sorry and than go to Confession?

Yes, Confession is a Powerful Sacrament, but it should be use for the right reasons.

If he continues using pornography, if I were the priest, I would NOT absolve him. Why should he be absolved and the next day do the samething? Is this showing true sorrow? What he is doing has become a habitual.

If I understood you correctly, you said why should he give it up? I would not expect this statement coming from any CATHOLIC!!!

If you were married and cheated on your wife and went to confession weekly, don’t you tink the priest is going to question your motives?

Yes, I am a very prayerful person and the Sacrament is very Powerful with God and the Holy Spirit, but, in this case, prayer WILL NOT intercede
with an addiction, other help will be needed.

I am not being uncharitable, but let’s be reasonable when giving advice especially in these grave matters. What you suggest, you can be accoubtable for this man’s soul. Just face the fact that he needs asdditional help. What’s the big deal? People do go for professional help and as I stated previously, Confession will not take this addiction away.

Please believe me because I have had training in the seminary and I do know what I am talking about.

Also be apprised that I am not his judge, God is and let us leave it in the hand’s of a Merciful God.

If you do not agree with me, God bless you.

 

[TLM08]

TLM08;4283965:

Genesis12345;4283894:

Your logic in morals shock me! Why shouldn’t he give it up? Yes, we all sin and so do I, but it is no reason to continue doing what this man is doing just because he will be absolved.

According to my training as a seminarian, he is ABUSING the Sacrament of
Confession.

If he has no intention of giving up looking at pornography, why go to Confession? He is making a mockery of the Sacrament. How can he say he is sorry and than go to Confession?

Yes, Confession is a Powerful Sacrament, but it should be use for the right reasons.

If he continues using pornography, if I were the priest, I would NOT absolve him. Why should he be absolved and the next day do the samething? Is this showing true sorrow? What he is doing has become a habitual.

If I understood you correctly, you said why should he give it up? I would not expect this statement coming from any CATHOLIC!!!

If you were married and cheated on your wife and went to confession weekly, don’t you tink the priest is going to question your motives?

Yes, I am a very prayerful person and the Sacrament is very Powerful with God and the Holy Spirit, but, in this case, prayer WILL NOT intercede
with an addiction, other help will be needed.

I am not being uncharitable, but let’s be reasonable when giving advice especially in these grave matters. What you suggest, you can be accoubtable for this man’s soul. Just face the fact that he needs asdditional help. What’s the big deal? People do go for professional help and as I stated previously, Confession will not take this addiction away.

Please believe me because I have had training in the seminary and I do know what I am talking about.

Also be apprised that I am not his judge, God is and let us leave it in the hand’s of a Merciful God.

If you do not agree with me, God bless you.

I’m really wondering if you read the same post as I did. This poor fellow looked at porn which is obviously a sin, then he went to confession later that day. ****Nowhere in his post did he say that he had no intention of giving up porn! **** NOWHERE did I say that he should keep looking at porn! Are you kidding me? My advice to him was the exact opposite. Men who give up porn and purify their minds by becoming vigilant of what they view on TV, read in magazines, and through avoiding immodestly dressed woman will gradually lose their desire to masturbate. Should they find themselves in a situation where they KNOW that they are going to fall, then they should give themselves permission to SKIP the porn! For a man that wants to stop the cycle, this is an amazingly easy, but critical first step on the road to purity!

Am I endorsing masturbation? NO… NO…NO!
But the masturbation will not stop without cutting off the fuel source first. It’s a little like a car engine that is running out of gas. With the gas tank on empty, the car gradually sputters to a stop. My advice to any man hopelessly trapped in this cycle is simply to give up the porn which is the fuel source for this sin! It’s amazing when you realize that this hostile 400lb tiger can be easily killed with a two dollar steak knife.

He asks a great question and the Sacrament of Penance (reconciliation) is exactly what he needs… and FREQUENTLY!
If you had seminary training, you would know that confession brings forth graces that help you stop committing these sins.
If any man wants to stop the porn/masturbation cycle, he must FIRST give up the porn… no excepions! With time, increased daily prayer and frequent confession, the masturbating will stop.

**Men are going to their graves and possibly to Hell because they are unable to stop this vicious cycle. Cutting off the porn is the first step! ** **My point is that if porn is separated from the masturbation, the porn becomes powerless! **

A lot of people have had training in the seminary. That does not mean that they will be able to give good advice.** If there’s a good priest out there who thinks cutting off the fuel source as a first step to break this habit of lust is a bad idea, please let me know!**

May the Peace of Christ be with you!