Is my daughter married?

[MarieRose]

I posted a question yesterday re this but it doesn’t appear on the posts so will try again! 3 years ago, my daughter married outside the church, she married a boy from the New Life Church and was married by a Pentecostal Pastor in an Anglican Church. This broke me up so much, and I still have not come to terms with this, as I love my faith, and wanted her to marry in our Church and have a nuptial mass. Isn’t that what all true catholic parents want? They are both very good living people and have a very happy marriage. My daughter was raised a Catholic totally, and we have fulfilled all that is required of us as parents. Naturally it broke my heart when she left, and then joined this other church. It is almost as if she is brainwashed, when she and her husband come to dinner, she will not bless herself, and asks vague questions of the faith, as though she has never been taught by her parents. I must stress that they both live good lives, and never lived together before their marriage.
I would like to know if their marriage is a true one, as she says their marriage was blessed by God, and took their wedding vows very seriously. We were present at the wedding and I could see the commitment in them both, even though there was hurt for us sitting in the church that they chose for their service.
In the eyes of the church, if she is baptized a catholic, and will always be a catholic, does this mean that she is not actually married at all.

 

[Ruthie]

“In the eyes of the church, if she is baptized a catholic, and will always be a catholic, does this mean that she is not actually married at all.”

Unfortunately, yes. In the Church’s eyes she is not married.

There is one “out.” If she “formally defected” from the Church, then she’s not a Catholic, and the marriage is then valid. Formal defection would be, for instance, her name being put on the membership list of the other church.

Either way, her marriage is valid under civil law.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

MarieRose:

I posted a question yesterday re this but it doesn’t appear on the posts so will try again! 3 years ago, my daughter married outside the church, she married a boy from the New Life Church and was married by a Pentecostal Pastor in an Anglican Church. This broke me up so much, and I still have not come to terms with this, as I love my faith, and wanted her to marry in our Church and have a nuptial mass. Isn’t that what all true catholic parents want? They are both very good living people and have a very happy marriage. My daughter was raised a Catholic totally, and we have fulfilled all that is required of us as parents. Naturally it broke my heart when she left, and then joined this other church. It is almost as if she is brainwashed, when she and her husband come to dinner, she will not bless herself, and asks vague questions of the faith, as though she has never been taught by her parents. I must stress that they both live good lives, and never lived together before their marriage.
I would like to know if their marriage is a true one, as she says their marriage was blessed by God, and took their wedding vows very seriously. We were present at the wedding and I could see the commitment in them both, even though there was hurt for us sitting in the church that they chose for their service.
In the eyes of the church, if she is baptized a catholic, and will always be a catholic, does this mean that she is not actually married at all.

It would of course all depend on when this took place, “Naturally it broke my heart when she left, and then joined this other church.”

If this took place before the wedding she is no longer Catholic and was not obligated to follow Canon Law. Unfortunately this would indicate that she is an apostate from the Catholic faith. Not a good position to be in either.

 

[RyanL]

I understand how troubling this can be, and may God be with you.

Assuming that your daughter did not get a dispensation for lack of canonical form or disparity of cult (which is most likely the case), there are a couple of options left for your daughter to take. The first (and easiest) is convalidation. Here, they basically stand in front of a priest and renew their vows.

The second (and far more difficult, although not exceedingly so) is to pursue a sanatio in radice. This is, more or less, a retro-active dispensation. To effect this “sanctification to the root”, a special apostolic faculty is required (which means the Pope or certain Bishops). This would be the option to take if one person was completely unwilling to renew their vows.

You can read more about both here.

Until this happens, you need to P.U.S.H. (Pray Until Something Happens). Be a prayer warrior and fight for your child. Take heart, all of the saints and angels are at your disposal!

May God bless you and keep you,
RyanL