Is my fiancée being spiritually attacked by her pagan coworker?

[amc]

Audrey, my fiancée, has recently been experiencing great spiritual doubt, saying that, at times, she “feels perfect clarity that none of this [i.e., Catholicism] is real,” but she’s trying her best to cling to her faith and our relationship despite it all. Lately, she has felt lost, confused, and unstable, and she’s starting to wonder if it has something to do with Daniel, a friend from work. Daniel is a Druid, and is extremely pagan. He has always acted friendly towards her, but other coworkers say that, when she’s not around, he says that he hates all Christians, especially Catholics, and incessantly seethes about his hatred for them.

Audrey confronted him about this, saying, “So-and-so says you hate all Catholics, but I’m Catholic, and you like me, right?” He said, “Yes, but I can separate that part of you from the rest of you.” He has acted strangely around her in the past. Once he mocked her because she was unsettled when a heavily-tattooed Satanic customer came into the store, he has displayed an uncanny aversion to the brown scapular she wears, and has half-joked about hurting people with magic.

Audrey is a recent convert from atheism to Catholicism. She was in RCIA a year ago and was baptized this last Easter, and she tells me I’m the one who introduced her to the faith and brought her into the church. She has struggled with doubt in the past, but not like she is experiencing now, and says that if it weren’t for me, she doesn’t know how she would be able to continue being Catholic.

Audrey and I are both college students, and and we are to be married this December, in less than two months. Naturally, I’m worried, and I don’t know what to do. In marriage prep, we were told that Satan would attack us more aggressively in days leading up to our wedding, is this what that is? Should we postpone the wedding, or contact a priest?

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Audrey, my fiancée, has recently been experiencing great spiritual doubt, saying that, at times, she “feels perfect clarity that none of this [i.e., Catholicism] is real,” but she’s trying her best to cling to her faith and our relationship despite it all. Lately, she has felt lost, confused, and unstable, and she’s starting to wonder if it has something to do with Daniel, a friend from work. Daniel is a Druid, and is extremely pagan. He has always acted friendly towards her, but other coworkers say that, when she’s not around, he says that he hates all Christians, especially Catholics, and incessantly seethes about his hatred for them.

Audrey confronted him about this, saying, “So-and-so says you hate all Catholics, but I’m Catholic, and you like me, right?” He said, “Yes, but I can separate that part of you from the rest of you.” He has acted strangely around her in the past. Once he mocked her because she was unsettled when a heavily-tattooed Satanic customer came into the store, he has displayed an uncanny aversion to the brown scapular she wears, and has half-joked about hurting people with magic.

Audrey is a recent convert from atheism to Catholicism. She was in RCIA a year ago and was baptized this last Easter, and she tells me I’m the one who introduced her to the faith and brought her into the church. She has struggled with doubt in the past, but not like she is experiencing now, and says that if it weren’t for me, she doesn’t know how she would be able to continue being Catholic.

Audrey and I are both college students, and and we are to be married this December, in less than two months. Naturally, I’m worried, and I don’t know what to do. In marriage prep, we were told that Satan would attack us more aggressively in days leading up to our wedding, is this what that is? Should we postpone the wedding, or contact a priest?

Your fiancee should learn to ignore an obviously mentally ill co-worker.

Most people are nice to people they know even if they “hate all XYZ”

 

[Tis_Bearself]

You need to talk to a priest. I can’t tell from this if it’s a spiritual attack or if Audrey is just struggling with doubt because she is relatively new to the faith and is having to adjust to finding her feet in a new belief system for her as well as adjust to becoming a spouse (this is a big adjustment even if a person loves their fiance and very much wants to be married). If her co-workers are unsupportive, that just adds to her stress.

I would have no problem dealing with a colleague who claimed not to like Catholics or twitted me about Satanic tats on a customer, but I have been Catholic for years and have already handled some of this stuff. For a new believer, it’s going to be daunting. Your priest should be able to provide reassurance, advice, and strategies on dealing with this. Praying, both alone and as a couple, for God’s grace and strength to persevere is always a good thing to do.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Most people are nice to people they know even if they “hate all XYZ”

Half the time this hate stuff is just hyperbolic talk. I have friends who “hate” organized religion. Although they are not my best bosom buddies, we have a good enough time over beers and dinner, we just don’t talk about religion.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Xanthippe_Voorhees:

Most people are nice to people they know even if they “hate all XYZ”

Half the time this hate stuff is just hyperbolic talk. I have friends who “hate” organized religion. Although they are not my best bosom buddies, we have a good enough time over beers and dinner, we just don’t talk about religion.

Yeah. I’ve had a good friend since college who is a pagan. She “hates” Catholcism, but I’m an ok person in her book. The third person in our trio is an Evengelical who “hates” both Catholics and Pagans…but we’re both acceptable to her…somehow.

It’s easy to hate people as a group, less so when you’re roommates.

 

[ChunkMonk]

Can she quit this job and find another? Definitely talk to a priest about this. And I would also have a very long talk with her about Faith. If she is not truly Catholic then in my opinion, it would not be a good idea to marry her. She needs to understand that Faith is not about other people, it is a personal relationship between God and man. But before you do any of this, schedule some discussions between both of you and a priest and consider finding her a new job.

Barring that you could always have some “words” with Daniel the Druid. Ask him if he wants to see a reenactment of Verden.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Barring that you could always have some “words” with Daniel the Druid.

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

One does NOT “have words” with a grown adults co-workers. Fastest way to get her fired and himself banned from the business or even face civil harassment charges.

If she needs some help conversing then she can go to askamanager.org she answers some questions and has an open thread every Friday.

But at least in American what you suggest is completely inappropriate and out of touch.

 

[ChunkMonk]

If some Satanic Druid punk was being a nuisance with my fiancee I would give him a nice history lesson about the traditional relationship between our two religions.

 

[amc]

A few more details from the fiancee. The aversion to her scapular was actually more complicated. He asked her about it kind of sheepishly. So she took it off and went to show it to him more closely (because it has writing on it) and when she went to hand it to him he went to grab it and then promptly dropped it on the floor saying, ‘I didn’t want to touch it…’. He invited her to his home to drink wine and have dinner and when she said she could not (because dinner alone with a guy from work is a no-no), he invited her to a ‘party’ where he only invited one other coworker (who admitted he barely had ever spoken to Daniel but just so happened to be the only other person working with her that night). Everyone left within an hour after she arrived. He once ‘joked’ that he was performing dark magic on her Store Manger. For more information on the Satanist encounter, apparently, Daniel walked up to Audrey while she was working and said, grinning, ‘hey, not to freak you out but that guy is a satanist’ and she replied that it did not really bother her because she had many pagan friends and they were simply existing in the same space. Daniel continued to grin at her as the Satanist glared at her hands. She then went in the back, a little unnerved, and Daniel said, ‘you may not care, but he can smell it on you’. The social stuff (like calling me a homophobe) is more to be expected but the aversion to Mary and trying to get her alone (he has invited her three more times to hang out outside of work) seems more concerning. He called her his favorite person a few days ago. He knows her faith is weak.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Dude, this guy is not after her faith, he is hitting on your fiancee, plain and simple. If she is not receptive to his invitations, this to me is sexual harassment since it’s happening at work and he knows she’s in a relationship.

No need to put a satanic or religious spin on it, this guy is doing what creeper guys do.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

A few more details from the fiancee. The aversion to her scapular was actually more complicated. He asked her about it kind of sheepishly. So she took it off and went to show it to him more closely (because it has writing on it) and when she went to hand it to him he went to grab it and then promptly dropped it on the floor saying, ‘I didn’t want to touch it…’. He invited her to his home to drink wine and have dinner and when she said she could not (because dinner alone with a guy from work is a no-no), he invited her to a ‘party’ where he only invited one other coworker (who admitted he barely had ever spoken to Daniel but just so happened to be the only other person working with her that night). Everyone left within an hour after she arrived. He once ‘joked’ that he was performing dark magic on her Store Manger. For more information on the Satanist encounter, apparently, Daniel walked up to Audrey while she was working and said, grinning, ‘hey, not to freak you out but that guy is a satanist’ and she replied that it did not really bother her because she had many pagan friends and they were simply existing in the same space. Daniel continued to grin at her as the Satanist glared at her hands. She then went in the back, a little unnerved, and Daniel said, ‘you may not care, but he can smell it on you’. The social stuff (like calling me a homophobe) is more to be expected but the aversion to Mary and trying to get her alone (he has invited her three more times to hang out outside of work) seems more concerning. He called her his favorite person a few days ago. He knows her faith is weak.

The problem with Daniel is not that he is a Satanist, but that he is a preditor.

She needs to take it up with her manager. It IS against sexual harassment policies to invite a co worker out after they have said no.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

If some Satanic Druid punk was being a nuisance with my fiancee I would give him a nice history lesson about the traditional relationship between our two religions.

Which is a good way to get your fiancee fired and in trouble with the law. While you might think it noble to be the hero, that kind of behavior is NOT tolerated in the American work place.

 

[dallas_r]

I agree with Tis. Talk to a priest and maybe set up meet times to chat with him (the priest) if he isn’t occupied and the problem persists. Also as tis mentioned, the guy is trying to flirt with your girl by only liking her but despising all other Catholics. I think that Audrey is fearful around him and focuses more on the fear factor of being around him, thus resulting in her not noticing his flirts. If your fiancee mentions him flirting then you need to talk to him and straighten things out plain and simple. He probably tries to be more “satanic” around your fiancee because he thinks it’s “cool” or “badass”. If he tries to get physical with you, don’t be afraid to break some teeth :facepunch:t4:

 

[TheLittleLady]

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

One does NOT “have words” with a grown adults co-workers. Fastest way to get her fired and himself banned from the business or even face civil harassment charges.

If she needs some help conversing then she can go to askamanager.org she answers some questions and has an open thread every Friday.

But at least in American what you suggest is completely inappropriate and out of touch.

Had to quote instead of just like this one because it bears repeating.

Where did culture get to the place where grownups need “mommying” at school and work?

 

[joeybaggz]

Audrey and I are both college students, and and we are to be married this December, in less than two months. Naturally, I’m worried, and I don’t know what to do. In marriage prep, we were told that Satan would attack us more aggressively in days leading up to our wedding, is this what that is? Should we postpone the wedding, or contact a priest?

Wait a minute. You are to be married next month, and your fiancee is being seriously influenced by someone worshiping sticks and living in a tree? This clown is causing her to doubt her faith, the faith, you who are to be married in a few short weeks share together. The faith that is the bedrock of the sacrament of matrimony. I rather think your fiancee has some serious difficulty establishing boundaries and having more than a whiff of self assertiveness. She has a simple choice, you or her relationship with someone you see as a serious cause of division in your relationship.
Audrey has to make a choice, plain and simple. You or her friend, Daniel. You have every right to demand (okay, request might be a better word) that she put a lot of distance between her and pagan boy. If she can’t do that now, do you think she will have a problem for the entirety of your married life when it comes to setting proper boundaries as to who is a healthy friend, and who is toxic. Sorry to say this brother, but I see some serious clouds on the horizon. Put your foot down, or move on. I know those are harsh words, but I think you are looking through this with rose colored glasses.

 

[edtaylor51]

The guy is a jerk, odds are he just says he’s a Druid or whatever and doesn’t have any idea what that really is or means.

 

[anikins]

Barring that you could always have some “words” with Daniel the Druid. Ask him if he wants to see a reenactment of Verden.

This is horrible advice. AMC, do not do this. It will not help your fiancé or the situation at all.

 

[amc]

Hi, Audrey here (we made the post together). No harshness necessary. I don’t prioritize my relationship with Daniel over my relationship with my fiancee in any respect and it has never come down to a matter of preference. I hung out with him once outside of work with my fiancee’s explicit permission, and have not done so since because I am uncomfortable. I asked Andrew to post this here last night and we wanted to look at what people had to say together. I have spoken to my fiancee about every weird detail the moment it happens. Outside of Daniel, I have struggled in my faith since the day of my baptism and I will be the first to admit I don’t know why. I drag myself to confession every two weeks because I want to fix it and that’s how people say it gets done. Daniel has only made it worse or more violent and I am not sure why. I understand that I am weak and disgusting-- I don’t know how to fix that except continuing to ask God to save me from myself. That’s the best I got. My fiance has known I am broken since we got engaged. He is marrying a broken woman begging God to save her. I just felt your comment in particular warranted some additional commentary on my point of view.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Hi, Audrey here (we made the post together). No harshness necessary. I don’t prioritize my relationship with Daniel over my relationship with my fiancee in any respect and it has never come down to a matter of preference. I hung out with him once outside of work with my fiancee’s explicit permission, and have not done so since because I am uncomfortable. I asked Andrew to post this here last night and we wanted to look at what people had to say together. I have spoken to my fiancee about every weird detail the moment it happens. Outside of Daniel, I have struggled in my faith since the day of my baptism and I will be the first to admit I don’t know why. I drag myself to confession every two weeks because I want to fix it and that’s how people say it gets done. Daniel has only made it worse or more violent and I am not sure why. I understand that I am weak and disgusting-- I don’t know how to fix that except continuing to ask God to save me from myself. That’s the best I got. My fiance has known I am broken since we got engaged. He is marrying a broken woman begging God to save her. I just felt your comment in particular warranted some additional commentary on my point of view.

Daniel is hitting on you. his attitude towards faith is very clear motivation to play on your mental health. Without offering medical advice, I would suggest you look at how abusers and manipulators work. This really isn’t about religion at all, but playing on your doubts and insecurity.

And with that comes my recommendation…seek professional help. If one co-worker can cause you this much pain then it dosn’t bode well for the rest of your life.

 

[on_the_hill]

Dude. Listen to some of the advice people have given you.

This is not a demonic attack. O.k.? This is a guy at work who is playing games with Audrey.

He’s teasing her. He’s pushing her buttons. He’s yanking her chain. Pulling her leg.
Daniel is flirting with Audrey. He wants to see how far he can take it.

So either Audrey puts a stop to it or Daniel gets bored and moves on to someone else, or you learn to live with it.