Is my marriage salvagable?

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Hello Troy. My husband and I are separated. He has just dismissed the divorce case after several months. I am hoping very much for reconciliation though nothing is at all certain right now. The passion in what I say to you here comes from this and the way our Lord has guided me through it.

Marriage is a wonderful, profound Covenant and beyond what most of us really grasp in our life time. We offer ourselves to our spouse and marry for* their * sake, not for ourselves. Not many of us understand that when we marry, or ever. I certainly didn’t! It sounds like you are beginning to grasp this though.

I heard a wonderful celibate teacher on Catholic radio recently say that if you get married, then you are in over your head! The point is, we cannot do it without God - drug addiction or not. So PLEASE hang in there and EVERY SINGLE DAY lean into God. Spend time with Him, pray to Him, read the Bible, sing to and worship Him. Devote yourself to Him 100% and His way.

God is for you in this; in wanting to reconcile. He will help you honor what you have entered into in marrying your wife. Trust that the right way is going to be hard but that your sacrifices and self-control now are worth it. Our faith in God and our obedience to Him allow His will to be done on Earth.

We should not get complacent, not when things are going badly - or when they get better: This walk through life is a one day at a time journey and each day counts.

Lastly I want to say that although you are not seeing a counselor you do need reliable supportive friends to pray along with you and be there to encourage and speak truth to you. Find them. Lean on them. Staying married and staying free of drugs are long-term every-single-day commitments and you need as much support and determination as you can muster. God is all-powerful and works in amazing ways, but a lot of the time it comes down to your will to stay the course.

Our Father loves you so very, very much. You are his dear child and He WILL help you. I will be praying. God bless you and be with you.

Your sister in Jesus Christ
 
Sunniva & Elizabeth – thank you both so very much for your kind thoughts, words, and most of all… prayers! It truly means a lot to me that you took the time to respond and I will definitely take your advice to heart and apply it to my situation.

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God Bless you all, and thanks again to all who have replied!!

Peace,
Troy
 
Well, it’s been nearly 5 months since I last posted to this thread and I just wanted to stop back in and thank everybody for their kind prayers and well thought out answers to my query.

As it stands, I am still very much in love with my wife and can’t begin to explain just how much I miss her in every way. She still is very angry with me and we’ve had very limited communication throughout the past several months. I pray for her daily and have begun to ask St. Jude, St. Joeseph, and the Ever Blessed Virgin Mary Mother of God to intercede as well.

Through the Grace of God, I have overcome my addiction issues. I made a final decision to put it all behind me on July 4 (“Independence Day” of all days…) but did have one slip-up the weekend of August 6th. However, I am now approaching 4 months of sobriety and am very proud to be clean and healthy again.

My involvement in my local parish has been a great support for me, as I volunteered as an assistant football coach for our Catholic grade school football team. Now that football has ended, I have volunteered to sponsor a candidate in the RCIA program. I am gradually making some quality new friends through all of this as well.

Please pray for my wife and me if you feel so inclined. I pray that God wants our marriage to succeed even though we are civally divorced at this point. At the very least, I pray that our “friendship” can be reconciled if not our marriage. It is her friendship that I miss the most.

I have always had struggles with depression, and I can already tell that the holidays are going to be exceptionally trying. Please keep us in your prayers, especially that my wife’s heart is filled with peace and that she feels the love and comfort of our Lord Jesus Christ throughout the Holiday season.

Best wishes to you and yours, and thank you for taking the time to consider including us in your heartfelt prayers.

:tiphat:
 
Thanks for sharing how God is working in situation. I will continue to pray for you and the restoration of your marriage. God bless.
 
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