Is my marriage valid?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lynne72
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Thank you everyone for your replies. I truly do appreciate you taking the time to help me sort this out. God Bless all of you!
 
Corki said:
The OP’s husband has already said it didn’t make a difference, let alone a material difference. And the second comment doesn’t apply at all. It is theoretically possible that a material “trait” was virginity. But she did not withhold information on that trait. He knew he wasn’t marrying a virgin.

Can you imagine the petition?

“Dear tribunal, I thought I had deflowered a virgin before I married her but it turns out I was just fornicating with her. The difference is so important that I divorced her 20 years later and I want you to find my marriage null.”

I can’t even imagine any advocate doing the paperwork on that one. :eek:

The whole discussion is moot without a civil divorce. This man seems to be serious about his faith and have a vocation to be a deacon. To get divorced over something like this would be gravely sinful and disqualify him for the diaconate. His marriage is valid and he seems to be happily married to a woman who cares deeply for his soul.

Lynne72, do not worry about this. As 1ke said, the priest may have misspoke or his comment may have been misinterpreted. Regardless, he has caused you completely unnecessary worry. Your marriage is valid and your husband meets the qualifications to continue his studies toward the diaconate in this regard.
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The is worried, as stated in her first post, that “he never knew I was with someone else before him.” and that she withheld that information from him. That could be significant to a person, for example, from a disease standpoint or some other personal criteria. Those criteria are individual to the person.
 
dans0622 said:
Hello,

There is a significant difference between these two statements. The most important difference is that the first one is wrong while the second one is right. The Church does *not *demand “full disclosure.” The Church does *not *demand that each Party know every single important fact about the other Party before being able to consent to marriage. The Church *does *demand the absence of deceit about a quality that, of its nature, could seriously disturb the conjugal life. So, your first comment is demanding positive action by all prospective spouses. The second comment is demanding the absence of an action. The Church’s requirements (at least when it comes to this particular canon) are limited to the latter.

Dan
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You’re right Dan, you don’t have to disclose every single little thing. However, when one party asks a specific question like, “are you a virgin”, the other party is required to not lie. In addition, while ‘not every single important fact’ may be revealed, purposely hiding an important fact, such as drug addiction, a major illness, a big debt, etc. must be disclosed.

I think a good rule of thumb is that if you’re trying to hide it so your future spouse won’t find out and call off the wedding, you can be sure you probably should be honest and disclose that information.
 
It’s important to remember that the OP stated:
My dh does NOT want to leave me, and tells me he never would.
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This means the point that information may have been withheld is simply moot in this case. The marriage is presumed valid, and validity of the marriage is not being challenged.

The OP hopefully understands that the discussions about the “what ifs” are simply a side discussion that have nothing to do with her valid marriage.
 
I wonder if HE was pure as the driven snow when they got married?
 
Lynne72…good luck with all this, and I hope all goes well with the diaconate and all the rest!

God bless you both! Best wishes! 🙂
 
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