Is my marriage valid?

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chartie57

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I would like to know if the church considers my marriage valid? My husband denies my right to worship as a Catholic. He criticises my praying to Mary and the saints. He says Catholics are not Christian. I really need to know…

Charlotte
 
hmm…every situation is different.
were you married in the Catholic CHurch?
 
chartie57 said:
I would like to know if the church considers my marriage valid? My husband denies my right to worship as a Catholic. He criticises my praying to Mary and the saints. He says Catholics are not Christian. I really need to know…

Charlotte
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Nothing you have said here can help anyone here to guess at the validity of your marriage.

Are you a Catholic? Is your husband? Where you married in the Catholic Church? If you are Catholic and not married in the Catholic Church did you have the proper paperwork from the bishop’s office?

The Church teaches that all marriages are valid until proven otherwise.

Maybe you should talk with a priest at a nearby parish on this.
 
To begin with, I am have not been through RCIA yet, because he would allow me to go, so I am still Lutheran–Missouri Synod. Deep in my heart I am Catholic. He, on the other hand, is a non-denomination evangelical and very anti-Catholic.
We were married by a judge, who just happens to be a practicing Catholic. But it was very much a civil marriage.
My husband refuses to have our marriage blessed by the Church. Even while I was Lutheran, he was constantly at me about how dead the church is and how we relied too much on tradition and following the church calendar. Even now when he says the word Catholic, he gives it a swearing connotation. He has no respect for my choice of faith, or denomination. He finds fault with every thing about the Catholic Church. Do I need to continue? I could write a book, or even a set of books about it.

Charlotte
 
Well, I’ve tried to leave him and he won’t allow me to leave.
 
Hi. Your marriage would be presumed to be valid. Even if you were to go through RCIA, it would not be necessary for you to have your marriage blessed as neither of you was Catholic at the time that you made your vows. In other words, your marriage would not prevent you from joining the Church.

Now, what do you mean that he won’t let you go to RCIA or that he won’t let you leave him?
 
chartie57 said:
Well, I’ve tried to leave him and he won’t allow me to leave.
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wont allow you to leave:confused: …does he chain you to boiler in the basement???
if you are in an abusive relationship the option to leave is always there…
 
No, Karin I’m not chained in the basement because we don’t have a basement. Well, I know I can either call Crisis Hotline or the police, and I hate to think what he would do if I called the police…

Charlotte
 
chartie57 said:
Yes, he forced me to quit classes. If I do anything against him, he makes my life a living hell.
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Have you contacted anyone about this? You don’t have to stay in a relationship like this. It isn’t healthy. Feel free to PM me if you would like. I understand the situation that you are in with your marriage.

Here is some information from the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Does your partner:

Embarrass you with put-downs?

Look at you or act in ways that scare you?

Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?

Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?

Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?

Make all of the decisions?

Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?

Prevent you from working or attending school?

Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?

Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?

Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?

Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?

Force you to try and drop charges?

Threaten to commit suicide?

Threaten to kill you?

If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions,
you may be in an abusive relationship.

For support and more information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.
 
chartie57 said:
No, Karin I’m not chained in the basement because we don’t have a basement. Well, I know I can either call Crisis Hotline or the police, and I hate to think what he would do if I called the police…

Charlotte
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Well I am glad of that…
but chartie57 it would seem you DO have options you just choose not to use them for fear of your husband…no one should be made to feel this way in their own home or at anytime in their lives!!!
 
dulcissima said:
Have you contacted anyone about this? You don’t have to stay in a relationship like this. It isn’t healthy. Feel free to PM me if you would like. I understand the situation that you are in with your marriage.

Here is some information from the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Does your partner:

Embarrass you with put-downs?

Look at you or act in ways that scare you?

Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?

Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?

Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?

Make all of the decisions?

Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?

Prevent you from working or attending school?

Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?

Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?

Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?

Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?

Force you to try and drop charges?

Threaten to commit suicide?

Threaten to kill you?

If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions,
you may be in an abusive relationship.

For support and more information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.
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I could answer ‘yes’ to at least 8 or 9 of the questions. So, I guess that means I’m in an abusive relationship. It hasn’t turned physical yet, but…

BTW, what does “PM” mean?

Charlotte
 
chartie57 said:
I could answer ‘yes’ to at least 8 or 9 of the questions. So, I guess that means I’m in an abusive relationship. It hasn’t turned physical yet, but…

BTW, what does “PM” mean?

Charlotte
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PM is private message. I’ll send you one so that you can reply to it.
 
chartie57 said:
I could answer ‘yes’ to at least 8 or 9 of the questions. So, I guess that means I’m in an abusive relationship. It hasn’t turned physical yet, but…

BTW, what does “PM” mean?

Charlotte
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Don’t wait for it to get physical.
 
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