Is my parents marriage valid?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jeffrey_Flaig
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mrsdizzyd said:
The point is that in deciding they are scandalizing their children you assume that they know they are commiting adultery. You can make no such assumption.
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Whether or not some action IS scandal or scandalizes another doesn’t depend on whether the person knows or intends for it to be scandal. It’s objectivelu grave matter.

http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/_P80.HTM

Whether or not someone is committing the SIN of scandal certainly would depend on knowledge and will.
 
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I never called it mortal sin. But it is grave matter of adultery.
 
Perhaps I misunderstood you. It seems you were declaring the parents guilty of scandal. Mea culpa.
 
Well, then we are back then square one. You cannot declare someone else guilty of a mortal sin. 2 of the 3 conditions of mortal sin cannot be known to us.
 
Ok, so you are assuming the Father is completely unaware he should have married in the Church, to this day?

That seems pretty ignorant, but possible.
 
rcwitness said:
Ok, so you are assuming the Father is completely unaware he should have married in the Church, to this day?

That seems pretty ignorant, but possible.
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Yes, ignorant, but possible. We simply cannot know what is in someone else’s mind or heart.
 
rcwitness said:
Ok, so you are assuming the Father is completely unaware he should have married in the Church, to this day?

That seems pretty ignorant, but possible.
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I would find that very improbable for someone who grew up Catholic in the 50s and 60s. They would have married in 68 if they were married 50 years ago this year.
 
But you have to admit it’s highly unlikely this man didn’t know he was going against what the Church required.

And I will admit that there is a possibility he is terribly ignorant. Or more likely, his pastor had no gumption to inform him.
 
And wouldn’t we also be talking about the days, weeks, months, years following also?
 
Unfortunately, you cannot fix the relationship they once had together.

They were married, yes. And today happens to mark the 50th year since they had a wedding but it is no longer a valid marriage. One has entered another union and the other very well may enter one another day.

I’d say comfort your mother. She may be finding the day quite difficult. Attend church with her. Pray for her. Pray for your father. But do not pray for them to get back together. Your father is involved with another woman now - cannot say this without being harsh with my words, I apologise - your father has moved on. As has your mother.
 
I do admit it is unlikely.

Still, I’m not willing to declare him guilty of a mortal sin. That is between him, his priest, and God.
 
What if his son asked him if he knows it was wrong? Is he bound to tell the truth?

What if he admits that he knew, and he just didn’t care?

Then it’s not a guessing game anymore, is it?
 
Personally, I choose not to get into the business of trying to ascertain whether or not someone has committed a sin, so I would not advise the OP to do something I would not. I would pray for my father and encourage him to talk to a priest.
 
Encourage him to talk to a priest about What?

How would that conversation play out without being able to ask questions like this?
 
The whole situation is a confusing mess and the OP hasn’t helped matters. Reconciliation seems very unlikely and I have no idea how long they’ve been divorced.

Personally, if my parents were to divorce or separate I would speak my peace on the matter. After that, I wouldn’t mention it again.
 
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“Dad, I understand that it is against church teaching to marry more than once. I also understand that there may be a way to regualrize your current marriage. Maybe you should think about talking to a priest about it.”
 
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