Is New York a tough place for a serious Catholic to live?

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I realize that the nature of grace is such that there is literally nothing that can keep a soul from the heart of God. With that said, however, there are times and places in which it is simply a lot easier to live as a serious Catholic. Perhaps you thrive on adversity and find the missionary experience exciting and powerful and therefore want to be in a place where there is a lot of opposition to the Catholic life.

My question is about New York. My wife and I are exploring the possibility of moving to NYC. I like the area, but I don’t know how family-friendly it is or even can be. We won’t send our kids to public schools, but I know that abortion rates are disgustingly high, they have same-sex marriage, it’s very liberal, the schools hand out birth control to kids, etc. It sounds like a very decadent, immoral place to live. But is it? I know that many devout, Orthodox Jews make the place home, so it can’t be that bad. Any thoughts–especially from those who do or have lived in NYC?
 
I’ve never lived in New York, but there are a few people in my parish who have. They seem to think that one of the advantages of living in such a huge place is that one is bound to find a parish that “fits,” unlike a smaller city or town where a Catholic might be stuck with one or two less-than-orthodox options.

So even though I don’t have personal NYC experience, I say go for it! In such a huge city you’re going to find all kinds of views across the spectrum, and I’m sure you’ll be able to find other conservative Catholics, even if they’re outnumbered.
 
I have lived in NYC, though before I had kids. I know some very serious Catholics who live there, though access to the TLM, if that is what you are looking for, is limited. There is everything and everyone in New York, just in greater quantity than in smaller places!

The orthodox tend to live in very specific neighborhoods and I’m sure that helps them. I’m not aware of any place where the “Catholics” are concentrated, though Upper East/West Side might be a good guess.
 
Try living in the “Bible Belt”. You’ll either grow in faith or lose it altogether.
North Carolina is 3% Catholic!
I’m known as that Catholic guy at work.
 
Denimguy said:
Try living in the “Bible Belt”. You’ll either grow in faith or lose it altogether.
North Carolina is 3% Catholic!
I’m known as that Catholic guy at work.
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I am in North Carolina too (Greensboro) and myself and one girl from Puerto Rico are the only Catholics that I know of at my work. However, The two parrishes that I attend seem to be doing quite well.
 
You will have Timothy Cardinal Dolan there in NYC. How can you go wrong?
 
Wackotrad said:
I’ve never lived in New York, but there are a few people in my parish who have. They seem to think that one of the advantages of living in such a huge place is that one is bound to find a parish that “fits,” unlike a smaller city or town where a Catholic might be stuck with one or two less-than-orthodox options.

So even though I don’t have personal NYC experience, I say go for it! In such a huge city you’re going to find all kinds of views across the spectrum, and I’m sure you’ll be able to find other conservative Catholics, even if they’re outnumbered.
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There are a lot of Catholics in New York City!!! I live in Upstate New York but I never have a hard time going to Mass when I am in the City and everyone is wonderful. Think about all the Irish, Italian, Polish, Phillipino, Mexican and Puerto Rican immigrants and all of their desendants who now live in the City. You are really lucky because can go to Saint Patrick’s Cathedral and have Mass said by Cardinal Dolan!!! New Yorkers in general don’t bother one another about their religious beliefs. You do your thing I’ll do my thing. I don’t even know what religion the people next door to me are or very few people I work with. The only reason I know who most of the Catholics are at work is from Ash Wednesday which by the way I would go to an early Mass and tell your boss you might be late because at noon they only do ashes only and the line goes out the door and down the streets in NYC. Evening Mass on Ash Wednesday you might not be outside but unless you get there an hour before had you might have to stand in the vestibule.

The more conservative Catholics tend to Polish from my experience but you could have a completely different experience.

Embrace the City’s Catholic heritage because the Catholic immigration wave of the late 1800s has made a serious impact on the City. New York’s early mayors were protestant but in the past 100 years there have only been very few protestant mayors and majority of the mayors have been Catholic.
 
It is my dream to live in New York. My opinion is if you have the opportunity go for it

There is a growth of vocations in New York so serious Catholics do exist and are thriving
 
Lol…every place is a tough place for a Catholic to live. I think being Catholic we may have a bit of a difficult life, but its a very easy death. (A Trappist monk once told me that!)

I lived in New York for 3 years while in college. There are Churches everywhere, and all kinds of devout people! Also, don’t forget, up in the Bronx area you got Franciscans of the Renewal, Jesuits (at Fordham)…there’s so much! St. Patrick’s (the Cathedral) is beautiful. I used to go to the Church of St. Joseph in Greenwhich Village. There’s 8 million people, I’m sure you’ll find a community to join. And, don’t also forget, there’s 8 million people and many opportunities to practice the Spiritual and Corporal Acts of Mercy (get involved!!)

Pax Christi,

JOHN
 
Being from the Boston area, you might be able to guess my opinion of New York. But seriously… I think NYC is a tough place for ANYONE to live. Rent is high, and crime is high. If you can afford it, give it a try. Besides being expensive and dangerous, what have you got to lose?
 
New York is typically blessed with a strong Metropolitan Archbishop and a visible laity from various ethnic backgrounds that form an integral part of the life of the city. While there are cities in the U.S. that may be considered “more Catholic”, I think there is a perception that NYC is less so only because of the diversity that exists in it. I have lived in the NYC metro area most of my life, including a few years in Manhattan, and there is no doubt in my mind that it is a very Catholic city, with many devout followers, and people dedicated to the charitable works of the Church that truly exemplify the Catholic Church and its faithful at their best!
 
I currently live in Manhattan and have lived here since 1978. Yes, the city is known world wide as “Sodom on the Hudson”, but it also has more Catholic Churches and Synagogs per square foot than anywhere else on the planet. And, when you attend Mass on Sundays, anywhere in the 5 buroughs, you will see the Churches filled-quite unlike the Churches in so-called Catholic Europe and South America. There are more practicing Catholics as a per-centage of population than in any other large city in the US.
If you are a family and moving to New York City, I suggest that you seek housing in the boroughs of Brooklyn and Queens, both of which are family oriented an friendly. I would forget about Manhatten because it is horrendously expensive and Staten Island is hard to commute to and with the exception of the Italian neighborhoods of the Bronx, the Bronx is a largely depressed area.
As far as schooling for your kids, forget public schools (except for Stuyvesant High, Bronx Poly and Brooklyn Tech which are High Schools for geniuses) . The Parochial Schools in all the 5 Boroughs are amongst the best in the Nation…and, you should be able to make arrangements through your Pastor for tuition based on your income.
The great thing about working and living in New York City, is that you are in the cultural center of the world. No other city on earth has as many museums, concerts, live theater, and live sports. There are 6 world class Art Museums and over 5,000 private Art Galleries. 3 major Opera Companies, 2 world class Ballet Companies and 3 major Symphony Orchestras. What other city has 2 major league Baseball teams, 2 major league Football teams, 2 major Basketball teams as well a Hockey team and a world class Soccer team.
There are also 3 world class Universities, and at least 5 world class major hospitals, including a world class cancer institute.
If you do decide to re-locate to NYC, one of the first things you will learn is that you do not need a car. In fact, having a car in the city is a major inconvenience, if for no other reason that parking is severely limited and most buildings do not have garages. In Manhattan, the monthly rent for a parking space exceeds the average rent for a house anywhere else in the US. This is compensated by the best mass transit system in the US. You will never be more than 2 blocks away from a bus or subway which run 24/7 and run every 10 minutes or so- even in the furthest remote parts of the city!
The other thing you will learn is that New Yorkers mind their own business. It is possible to live next door to someone in an apartment building for 30 years and never get to know them except to nod at each other in the hall. It is not because the people are unfriendly, they just value their privacy.
People here are not so much tolerant of each other as they just do not give a damn about what other people do- as long as they don’t do it to them. NYC is the place you can take a lion on a leash into the subway or on to a bus and nobody will raise an eyebrow unless the lion pees on someones foot-then all hell breaks loose!
One thing to consider is how much you will make. Yes, wages here are significantly higher than anywhere else in the US. However this is off set by mucher higher rents, and groceries are just about the highest in the nation.
 
rfournier103 said:
Being from the Boston area, you might be able to guess my opinion of New York. But seriously… I think NYC is a tough place for ANYONE to live. Rent is high, and crime is high. If you can afford it, give it a try. Besides being expensive and dangerous, what have you got to lose?
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Actually, NYC has a low crime rate compared to other metro areas. To me the ONLY tough part of living there was $.
 
I don’t live in NYC, but I have family who does. In visiting, my experience is that the NY archdiocese is pretty solid, generally - much more so than the upstate dioceses. And of course with such a large population, there WILL be a community for you.

The thing I would be most concerned about is the cost of living. Since rent/home prices are so much higher in NYC than anywhere else, it could be the difference between a mother being able to stay at home with her children or not. It might be the difference between being able to send your children to Catholic school and having to send them to public. Or being able to save for college or retirement etc…

Maybe someone who lives there can respond to this, but I also imagine it must be rather difficult negotiating the subway system with a large family. I remember visiting once, when we only had 2 children, one in a stroller, and 3 adults - THAT was tough, so I can’t imagine how much more difficult it might be with 4 young kids and one adult, getting on and off a crowded subway car. So depending on the age of your children, or the liklihood that you might have more children, I think this is worth considering.
 
Colorad007 said:
I realize that the nature of grace is such that there is literally nothing that can keep a soul from the heart of God. With that said, however, there are times and places in which it is simply a lot easier to live as a serious Catholic. Perhaps you thrive on adversity and find the missionary experience exciting and powerful and therefore want to be in a place where there is a lot of opposition to the Catholic life.

My question is about New York. My wife and I are exploring the possibility of moving to NYC. I like the area, but I don’t know how family-friendly it is or even can be. We won’t send our kids to public schools, but I know that abortion rates are disgustingly high, they have same-sex marriage, it’s very liberal, the schools hand out birth control to kids, etc. It sounds like a very decadent, immoral place to live. But is it? I know that many devout, Orthodox Jews make the place home, so it can’t be that bad. Any thoughts–especially from those who do or have lived in NYC?
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I lived there and I can tell you that it is a very immoral and decadent place to live. NYC really isn’t all that and a bag of cashews. The people are very friendly and wonderful but they are drenched in sin. Some very “deeply religious” men I knew were very open and prideful about their infidelity. I’d be talking to them about God and out comes “Oh gotta hot date.” I respond “Oh where are you taking your wife” only to get “Nah nah it’s this girl I met at the bar and she is fine” to much of my shock.

The kids there are not alright, lots of drug use going on (even sucked me into it) and sexual promiscuity going on.

As for the Hasids, the only reason they make NYC home, is because their communities are so close together they are literally are shut off from NYC.

As for the prices, just plain nuts and Bloombergs taxes don’t help either.

Crime very good, I would be stupidly drunk and could walk the city streets at night at 3AM and be bothered by no one. The hobos will be on the train but they leave you alone, they are just there to sleep and get warm. Frankly the only thing I missed about NY was the sights, sounds, friendly people (despite their decadence) and the extremely low crime.

If you plan on raising a family please don’t do it. There’s a reason married couples move out to Jersey or upstate when they’re getting ready for kids.
 
austenbosten said:
I lived there and I can tell you that it is a very immoral and decadent place to live. NYC really isn’t all that and a bag of cashews. The people are very friendly and wonderful but they are drenched in sin. Some very “deeply religious” men I knew were very open and prideful about their infidelity. I’d be talking to them about God and out comes “Oh gotta hot date.” I respond “Oh where are you taking your wife” only to get “Nah nah it’s this girl I met at the bar and she is fine” to much of my shock.

The kids there are not alright, lots of drug use going on (even sucked me into it) and sexual promiscuity going on.

As for the Hasids, the only reason they make NYC home, is because their communities are so close together they are literally are shut off from NYC.

As for the prices, just plain nuts and Bloombergs taxes don’t help either.

Crime very good, I would be stupidly drunk and could walk the city streets at night at 3AM and be bothered by no one. The hobos will be on the train but they leave you alone, they are just there to sleep and get warm. Frankly the only thing I missed about NY was the sights, sounds, friendly people (despite their decadence) and the extremely low crime.

If you plan on raising a family please don’t do it. There’s a reason married couples move out to Jersey or upstate when they’re getting ready for kids.
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I think you can find that in any city, it is not unique to nyc
 
I was born in Brooklyn, moved to Queens where I have lived almost 40 years. I love Queens and I love my parish, Our Lady Queen of Martyrs in Forest Hills. It is like a mini St. Patrick’s Cathedral (I would go to St. Pat’s for daily mass when I worked on Fifth Avenue and Cardinal Dolan would sometimes say the 7:30 a.m. Mass. Very beautiful). Rents in Manhattan are ridiculous. Better to live in Queens and take the subway. Rents can be $2000 for a two bedroom apartment in Forest hills which in my opinion is the best neighborhood. I live near the Forest Hills Tennis Stadium and the Forest Hills Gardens where the homes are around two million dollars.

5:00 Mass on Saturday is always packed and of course, daily Mass is less so.

My friends are pro-choice which is causing me some internal issues and if I want to meet like-minded individuals, joining the Legion of Mary or the Padre Pio Group in my parish would be the way (haven’t done it though).

In the workplace (I worked for a big bank in NYC) we never discussed politics or religion which is the best thing.

If you need to know anything else, if I can help, let me know.
 
_Abyssinia said:
I think you can find that in any city, it is not unique to nyc
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No, because I live in Columbus and it’s not as bad as NYC, though crime is worse than NYC (like I said the benefit of NYC was the crime)

The majority of people in NYC have far looser morales than in a place like Columbus. Columbus has a lot of liberals in fact there is a very strong gay community in Columbus (some call it little San Francisco) however they are not caught up with drug use or mass promiscuity and if they are they surely keep it to themselves. Not saying Columbus is squeaky clean there are BDSM clubs and what-not…but my experience is that Columbus is less Sodom and Gomorrahish than NYC

Like I said NYC has its definite pluses, but the OP was asking if it was a good place to raise a family and since I have lived there I have to give him my honest opinion that it’s not a good place to raise a family. If anything because of the high-cost of living.
 
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