Is one's calling necessarily 'wanted?'

[x20556a3]

Is it ever possible that someone may be called to the religious life even though they at heart feel like they don’t belong it? Like, I’ve never dated before in my life (my last “relationship” was before 9/11) but I’m reluctant to pursue a religious/single vocation because I don’t know if I belong there yet. I’m 19.

 

[Mel_Stones]

The short answer: yes one’s vocation is wanted.

The more detailed answer:

Remember that no one vocation is better than another for everyone. Each of us is called to one vocation, some to religious, some to marriage, some to single, and so forth. There is one ideal vocation for you but there is no one ideal vocation for all.

I’m in a very similar position - I’ve NEVER dated and am just now (at 21) starting to consider that single or religious life is my vocation.

What do you mean by you don’t belong there yet?

I know I don’t feel worthy of the religious life because of various things both past and present but I also know these things are to be worked through and aren’t really hindrances. I doubt ANYONE (including Pope Benedict) feels worthy of a religious life calling.

The best thing for you is probably to start working through those things you believe are hindrances. That means getting a spiritual director - ask your priest for a recommendation or to see if he is capable of meeting with you. Just tell your spiritual director that you are beginning to discern your vocation and these are your concerns, he/she will know where to take it from there.

In the mean time, continue your education in whatever field you are interested in. Stay open to God’s will. If you are open to God, He will tell you his will and your true heart’s desire will be within God’s will.

I hope this helps. If you like - give some more information and I will try to be more helpful. Christ’s peace.

 

[x20556a3]

The short answer: yes one’s vocation is wanted.

The more detailed answer:

Remember that no one vocation is better than another for everyone. Each of us is called to one vocation, some to religious, some to marriage, some to single, and so forth. There is one ideal vocation for you but there is no one ideal vocation for all.

**I’m in a very similar position - I’ve NEVER dated and am just now (at 21) starting to consider that single or religious life is my vocation.

What do you mean by you don’t belong there yet?

I know I don’t feel worthy of the religious life because of various things both past and present but I also know these things are to be worked through and aren’t really hindrances. I doubt ANYONE (including Pope Benedict) feels worthy of a religious life calling.**

The best thing for you is probably to start working through those things you believe are hindrances. That means getting a spiritual director - ask your priest for a recommendation or to see if he is capable of meeting with you. Just tell your spiritual director that you are beginning to discern your vocation and these are your concerns, he/she will know where to take it from there.

In the mean time, continue your education in whatever field you are interested in. Stay open to God’s will. If you are open to God, He will tell you his will and your true heart’s desire will be within God’s will.

I hope this helps. If you like - give some more information and I will try to be more helpful. Christ’s peace.

That’s not exactly what I meant. I didn’t say I don’t deserve the religious life, I said that I don’t really feel at home there; to be more blunt, I mean I don’t really want it. I don’t have any plans of being ordained or becoming a priest. What I wanted to know is if God would call a person to a vocation that he/she doesn’t feel comfortable or at peace with.

Second of all, how do you know already that you’re meant to serve the Church? Are you saying that just because you haven’t had any progress in dating? I don’t really know about making a leap of faith like that if I haven’t had enough experience.

 

[Sister_Rose]

Many people are not initially attracted to their vocation, or lose the attraction at some point.
I was attracted to my vocation when I was in junior high, but in college that attraction faded. I really had to struggle with the idea of giving up marriage. Now I know that I would not have been as happy married as I am now. But, no I could not always see that.
Father Benedict Groeschel did not always “want” to be a friar. His wocation story might be available somewhere.

It is the same with our vocation in life as it is with the little callings we get on a daily basis. There are many things we feel called to do, or know that we should do, even know that we will be happier in the end if we do do them, and yet we don’t want to. We are happy after we have done them, or we regret not having done them, but we don’t always feel the attraction.

 

[Mel_Stones]

That’s not exactly what I meant. I didn’t say I don’t deserve the religious life, I said that I don’t really feel at home there; to be more blunt, I mean I don’t really want it. I don’t have any plans of being ordained or becoming a priest. What I wanted to know is if God would call a person to a vocation that he/she doesn’t feel comfortable or at peace with.

Second of all, how do you know already that you’re meant to serve the Church? Are you saying that just because you haven’t had any progress in dating? I don’t really know about making a leap of faith like that if I haven’t had enough experience.

Why are you even considering religious life if you don’t want it? I agree that one’s vocation may be scary but I doubt it would be completely unattractive.

I don’t already know I’m called to the religious life - I said I am just now beginning to discern that single life or religious life may be my vocation (single and religious are two different vocations). Actually that doesn’t have much to do with my lack of experience in dating and more to do with the lack of attraction married life has for me. You see, I don’t really feel attracted to or comfortable with the vocation of marriage so I’m beginning to look elsewhere. I grew up protestant so marriage always seemed like something that was bound to happen. As a Catholic I know that I may not be called to married life.

 

[TiggerS]

A vocation to religious life is an invitation and not a command; however to recognize that The Lord is inviting one to religious life and to turn down that invitation betrays possibly lack of gratitude although not necessarily that. The Lord when He invites will grant all the Graces necessary to fulfill His invitation and that may take a whole heap of Faith and trust in Him.
It is said that a vocation can be recognized by three signs:

1. 
   *]Attraction to the life
   *]The ability and necessary qualities to live the life
   *]Acceptance by an Order etc.
   
   It appears that you are not attracted to the life but then “attraction” I dont think necessarily means a positive inclination to become a religious etc. I know of one religious who had no attraction to the life at all, but it seemed to her that everywhere she came across nuns and so decided to seek advice about a possible vocation without the slightest desire to enter the life. She subsequently entered an Order and never ever looked back as the life was not at all what she anticipated it would be for her and she found great happiness against her expectations.
   Remember to that to investigate a religious vocation (and the priesthood) is not a commitment to it and an actual commitment to the life takes a couple of years of formation first and if one is wise a period of discernment and seeking advice prior to actually entering the life.
   
   You would be best to seek spiritual direction and very wise and prudent to do so where vocation is concerned - and the direction of the rest of one’s life.
   
   TS