Is our nighttime prayer ritual improper?

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sdegutis

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At night, my wife and our children (ages 6 to 10) kneel down together and pray. We started this before we became Catholics and I’m concerned that maybe it is not theologically sound. First we pray the “angel of God” prayer together. Then we pray the “now I lay me down to sleep” prayer together. Then we each take turns, youngest to oldest, saying a short prayer thanking God for things in that day, asking for help with some things, and occasionally asking for forgiveness for something we did wrong (as long as it’s not too shameful to say in public, like “please forgive me for overeating today”). Then I end it with “through Christ our Lord and through the intercession of our Blessed Mother Mary, Amen” and we all say and do the sign of the cross.

Is this improper? Other Catholic families we know don’t do this, they pray by themselves only. And the few times we’ve invited a Catholic friend who’s visiting to join us, they’ve seemed uncomfortable. Also, is it theologically sound to say the “now I lay me down to sleep” prayer? It sort of omits the whole concept of the sacrament of Reconciliation, so I’m worried about giving my children the wrong idea.

Please only answer if you’re Catholic. I’m not interested in Protestantism and Protestant ideas anymore, and that discussion is not welcome. Thank you and God bless you.
 
My only concern with everything you said is the expectation or encouragement for people to say what they have done wrong out loud.
  1. A nightly examination of conscience is good, and I would continue to encourage it, but not out loud. You can let the children that can participate in reconciliation know that it serves to help them remember what they have done when it is time to go to confession. I would make sure they know it doesn’t replace confession.
  2. Is this what you pray:
    Now I lay me down to sleep,
    I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
    if I die before I wake,
    I pray for Lord my soul to take. Amen
I’m not sure if there is any theological issues with this… why wouldn’t we pray for our soul to be with God?

Praying together at night is very good, don’t worry if other people don’t do it or feel uncomfortable with the idea.
 
12345678 said:
My only concern with everything you said is the expectation or encouragement for people to say what they have done wrong out loud.
  1. A nightly examination of conscience is good, and I would continue to encourage it, but not out loud. You can let the children that can participate in reconciliation know that it serves to help them remember what they have done when it is time to go to confession. I would make sure they know it doesn’t replace confession.
  2. Is this what you pray:
    Now I lay me down to sleep,
    I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
    if I die before I wake,
    I pray for Lord my soul to take. Amen
I’m not sure if there is any theological issues with this… why wouldn’t we pray for our soul to be with God?

Praying together at night is very good, don’t worry if other people don’t do it or feel uncomfortable with the idea.
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  1. Good point.
  2. Almost. On the last line we say “the Lord” not “for Lord” but yeah I think that’s minor.
Thanks for your feedback.
 
I agree with the feller above. Examination of conscience is a good thing, but generally private or shared only with a priest or spiritual advisor if you have one.

I would probably be a little uncomfortable with that as well. Not because of the kneeling down or praying together, do that all the time, at family get togethers, and with the kids at night, but because it seems awful Protestantized.

The 3 year old knows most of these and the 4 year old all of them. Blessing before meals, grace after, Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, Guardian Angel. Those are the ones we do every day. Also, I mix in from time to time 6 or 8 others that they will have down soon. Especially the Act of Contrition. That’s next on the list. We say a rosary occasionally as behavior permits.

I prefer traditional, Catholic prayers.
 
I think your practices are beautiful, especially praying together as a family.The only thing is does the “Now I lay me down to sleep prayer” scare children making them think they could die?
 
jaimeleglise said:
I think your practices are beautiful, especially praying together as a family.The only thing is does the “Now I lay me down to sleep prayer” scare children making them think they could die?
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Good question. We’ve been very clear with them since an early age that how long they live is up to God, and as long as they trust in God and do as God says, then they have nothing to worry about, because even if God decides to take them out of this world (I intentionally used this very gentle metaphor) then it’s not a bad thing because God has a better place for them to be.
 
Keep up the great work. I think it is wonderful that your family prays together. Don’t let
people discourage you.
 
I like your tradition of prayer. And, it is Catholic. We do something similar. We either have a novena going, or we kind of go off on our own. I encourage the children to pray for friends and relatives and we all thank God for at least one thing during the day. Then we all think of one thing we could do better. While not as potentially embarrassing, it brings a prayer of contrition. We do not say the now I lay me down to sleep but I have no real problem with that. My children pray for dying friends and family and dead friends and family. We say the divine mercy chaplet often for the dead or dying. My children 8,7,4 are no strangers to the concept of death and the afterlife. They have a very theological view of it.
 
I see nothing wrong with what you’re doing.

You might make the examination of conscience simply a quiet time to reflect followed by a prayer like this:

Lord Jesus raise us to new life:
Lord, have mercy
– Lord have mercy

Lord Jesus, you forgive us our sins:
Christ, have mercy.
– Christ, have mercy.

Lord Jesus you feed us with your body and blood:
Lord, have mercy
– Lord have mercy

You might also look at using part of Compline (Night Prayer) instead of the “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep” prayer. The canticle prayed during Compline is this:

Lord, now you let your servant go in peace;
your word has been fulfilled:

my own eyes have seen the salvation
which you have prepared in the sight of every people:

a light to reveal you to the nations
and the glory of your people Israel.

That’s straight from the gospel of Luke so very scriptural, and is prayed by people around the world every night. It would unite you with others in prayer.

But I have to say that overall I think you’re doing a great job!
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
I see nothing wrong with what you’re doing.

You might make the examination of conscience simply a quiet time to reflect followed by a prayer like this:

Lord Jesus raise us to new life:
Lord, have mercy
– Lord have mercy

Lord Jesus, you forgive us our sins:
Christ, have mercy.
– Christ, have mercy.

Lord Jesus you feed us with your body and blood:
Lord, have mercy
– Lord have mercy

You might also look at using part of Compline (Night Prayer) instead of the “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep” prayer. The canticle prayed during Compline is this:

Lord, now you let your servant go in peace;
your word has been fulfilled:

my own eyes have seen the salvation
which you have prepared in the sight of every people:

a light to reveal you to the nations
and the glory of your people Israel.

That’s straight from the gospel of Luke so very scriptural, and is prayed by people around the world every night. It would unite you with others in prayer.

But I have to say that overall I think you’re doing a great job!
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Agree.
 
sdegutis said:
At night, my wife and our children (ages 6 to 10) kneel down together and pray. We started this before we became Catholics and I’m concerned that maybe it is not theologically sound. First we pray the “angel of God” prayer together. Then we pray the “now I lay me down to sleep” prayer together. Then we each take turns, youngest to oldest, saying a short prayer thanking God for things in that day, asking for help with some things, and occasionally asking for forgiveness for something we did wrong (as long as it’s not too shameful to say in public, like “please forgive me for overeating today”). Then I end it with “through Christ our Lord and through the intercession of our Blessed Mother Mary, Amen” and we all say and do the sign of the cross.

Is this improper? Other Catholic families we know don’t do this, they pray by themselves only. And the few times we’ve invited a Catholic friend who’s visiting to join us, they’ve seemed uncomfortable. Also, is it theologically sound to say the “now I lay me down to sleep” prayer? It sort of omits the whole concept of the sacrament of Reconciliation, so I’m worried about giving my children the wrong idea.

Please only answer if you’re Catholic. I’m not interested in Protestantism and Protestant ideas anymore, and that discussion is not welcome. Thank you and God bless you.
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I think its admirable that you do this together as a family…you know what the quote says, “the family that prays together, stays together”

I grew up praying the rosary with my mom and my big brother, eventually memorizing the litany by heart (my dad was working abroad). You do not see that very often these days on wanting to pray together as a family. Believe me, your kids will treasure these memories when they grow up and have their own families.

I do not see anything wrong with your prayers, you have already included a form of examination of conscience in it already. Just do not forget to remind them (if they are already if age) that mortal sins are supposed to be confessed to the priest. It maybe also helpful to just say the act of contrition:

Oh my God I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee and I detest all my sins because I fear the loss of heaven and the pains of hell. But most of all they offend Thee my God who are all good and deserving of my love, I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to confess my sins, do penance, amend my life and avoid near occasions of sin

(I modified it a bit because this you are not in a confessional, omit the confess my sins part if you are in confession)

Or use the one in mass:

I confess to Almighty God and to you my brothers and sisters that I have greatly sinned. In my thoughts, in my words, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do. through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault. there for I ask the Blessed Virgin, all the angels and saints and to you my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God.

(We have used this in prayer meetings)

Instead of going around one by one in prayer, that kinda puts them on the spot especially for something that is meant to be in the seal of the confessional.

You can use this formula for your prayer:

Adoration
Contrition
Thanksgiving
Supplication/Intentions (you can use the Angel of God prayer and now I lay me down to sleep, here after supplications are made)

Hope this helps
 
sdegutis said:
Good question. We’ve been very clear with them since an early age that how long they live is up to God, and as long as they trust in God and do as God says, then they have nothing to worry about, because even if God decides to take them out of this world (I intentionally used this very gentle metaphor) then it’s not a bad thing because God has a better place for them to be.
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Not saying that you should change this, but there is a variation on this prayer that I use with my kids that other readers of the thread might like:

“Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
Guard me Jesus through the night
and wake me with the morning light.
Amen.”

I think doing an examination of conscience privately might be better, or if it was just one-on-one parent/child to help prompt them. But other than that what you do sounds a lot like what we do - we do “Angel of God,” a “Hail Mary,” “Our Father,” and “Glory Be,” then the “now I lay me prayer” (as my son puts it), and then we all ask God to bless some individuals in our lives and tell Him something we are thankful for that happened that day.
 
Since there’s been a lot of discussion about this part, I should clarify that none of us actually confess sins. Mostly, each of us just say “forgive us of our sins” during our turn for personal prayer and leave it at that. Sometimes my wife and I will say “forgive me for being lazy today and not properly using the time You gave me” or some thing simple like that. We mostly just do it as an extra example of morality for the kids (you can’t have too many examples).
 
It sounds like a lovely practice…and I wouldn’t be too concerned with the examination of conscience comments from others…that might be a tad too legalistic…what you are doing with your children is an excellent catechetical moment…they will be well grounded in the faith before they have to worry about form over function.

Wasn’t todays gospel, “…for my yoke is light and I am gentle of heart”? I think it fits.
 
Sounds like a very faithfilled thing you are doing to pray together as a family nightly. Don’t be detered just because other Catholics aren’t that far along in family prayer. When my son was young, I was there when he ‘said his prayers’ at night, but that ended years ago sadly.

I think you have got some great elements of prayer: thank God for blessings , ask for forgiveness of wrongdoing, intercessory prayer for others, prayers of petition. Actually, you have covered a lot of basic types of prayer (thanksgiving, contrition, petition) as laid out in the Catechism. Also good to see your family prays both for the needs of others as well as themselves. 🙂 You all are praying both in your own words and with traditional prayers. All good things!

For myself, I would probably suggest an Our Father or Hail Mary in place of the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep prayer. That is not a traditional Catholic prayer, as the Guardian Angel prayer is (though it is not unknown for Catholics to pray it). Also, how about including a “Glory Be”? The bedrock basics of Catholic prayers are the Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be and unless I am missing it, you are not including any of those.

(Note: I teach parish religious education classes and I give A LOT of thought to children praying and family prayer…and whether or not children know their basic prayers.)
 
sdegutis said:
At night, my wife and our children (ages 6 to 10) kneel down together and pray. We started this before we became Catholics and I’m concerned that maybe it is not theologically sound. First we pray the “angel of God” prayer together. Then we pray the “now I lay me down to sleep” prayer together. Then we each take turns, youngest to oldest, saying a short prayer thanking God for things in that day, asking for help with some things, and occasionally asking for forgiveness for something we did wrong (as long as it’s not too shameful to say in public, like “please forgive me for overeating today”). Then I end it with “through Christ our Lord and through the intercession of our Blessed Mother Mary, Amen” and we all say and do the sign of the cross.

Is this improper? Other Catholic families we know don’t do this, they pray by themselves only. And the few times we’ve invited a Catholic friend who’s visiting to join us, they’ve seemed uncomfortable. Also, is it theologically sound to say the “now I lay me down to sleep” prayer? It sort of omits the whole concept of the sacrament of Reconciliation, so I’m worried about giving my children the wrong idea.

Please only answer if you’re Catholic. I’m not interested in Protestantism and Protestant ideas anymore, and that discussion is not welcome. Thank you and God bless you.
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Absolutely beautiful! Your children will remember those moments all their lives, and they will be comforted in their old age by the prayers prayed with family back when they were wee.

I think that it’s very possible that the reason people seem “uncomfortable” is that they don’t do this in their family, and they feel guilty about neglecting it. 😊
 
Your night time family prayer is a beautiful practice! I agree with others that saying a sin, even a venial one aloud, is uncomfortable. Instead, this would be a great time to teach your little one’s how to do an Examination of Conscience before prayer time, then insert the Act of Contrition prayer in place of announcing a sin.

God bless and I so happy to read that families prayer together like this!
 
Humbly_Hopeful said:
Your night time family prayer is a beautiful practice! I agree with others that saying a sin, even a venial one aloud, is uncomfortable. Instead, this would be a great time to teach your little one’s how to do an Examination of Conscience before prayer time, then insert the Act of Contrition prayer in place of announcing a sin.

God bless and I so happy to read that families prayer together like this!
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From when our kids were very small we had to tell Jesus 3 things we were grateful for and three things we were sorry for. Most of the time with little kids this is like “I was mean to my sister” Or I did not listen the first time my parents told me something." Their mom and I also say three things. So we model being contrite.

As a convert myself I see where Catholics can confuse this and have an aversion to it because confession is so guarded. But really, naming sins is certainly not reserved for the confessional. We are told to make peace with those we have wronged by Jesus Himself.

I actually think it is one of the reasons my children are so well behaved. They did not want to tell Jesus that they were bad. Though, certainly before the age of reason there is no sin anyway, it still was a healthy tool for them to understand Jesus, and humanity. Not to mention that they have no problem going to confession later when they are of age.
 
When my kids were growing up we said these prayers in this order:

Angel of God

Glory Be

St Therese, The Little Flower (please pick me a rose from the heavenly garden,…)

Hail Mary

Our Father

And our own version of “Now I lay me:”

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray, the Lord, my soul to keep.
Be with me throughout the night
and wake me with the morning light.

Our day, which always started at 5 a.m., began with this:

Good morning Dear Jesus, this day is for you.
I ask you to bless all I think say and do.

Hail Mary

Our Father.

I was shocked to learn that my kids, all now in their 20s, some married, still say all those prayers every night. 🙂
 
We used to do these prayers in order:
  • Our Father
  • Hail Mary
  • Glory Be
  • O My Jesus
  • Angel of God
  • “Now I lay me down to sleep…”
  • Hail Holy Queen
But it was very long, and we thought it might be too much for the youngest ones (4 and 6 at the time) so after a few months we dropped a few.

Also, I’m not sure the Hail Holy Queen is appropriate for an every-night general family prayer. It seems like it belongs at the end of a Rosary and only there.

These days, half the time I still add back in Our Father and Hail Mary, but I’m thinking we should probably add them back in full-time along with a few others.

And I’m reconsidering the “Now I lay me down to sleep” prayer since the other prayers basically mean the same thing but with a holier perspective.
 
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