I always wonder if people are interested in having a small chat with the priest (after H. Mass, for example) or even discussions, or perhaps not at all? Of course there will be much difference for those who still attend the N.O. Masses within the parish system. Priests there tend to be more of a “social assistent” rather than anything else, they may be better approachable but rarely are aware of their priesthood in the sense that they don’t wear their cassock, say their prayers, preach to the people about sin or hear confessions anymore. Don’t know if for anyone personal contact is even wanted for these priests. But what about the people here who attend the real H. Mass, be it the former indult-Masses or in FSSPX or FSSP-churches? It seems to me most pirests there are very hard to get to speak to in a private manner. For me personally that’s okay, I am just one of many Catholics and I have no real desire to be possesive of priests. But I wonder what all the expierences with this point have been for the people on the forum?
Thanks in advance for the replies!
I keep getting the feeling that I have been extremely blessed in the priests I have known over the course of my life, but you do many priests wrong in this characterization that I have put in bold font. Keep in mind that many fine priests were forced to give up the TLM of their childhood or early priesthood, as much as anyone else, or, in the case of the younger ones, never had the chance to come to know it. They have remained faithful and obedient within the Church, as did their parents, and take the holiness of their call very seriously. There is no call to add insult to injury.
Be careful about leaping to judgement. It is well to avoid contact with anyone who would foster an attitude in you that might minimize the importance of prayer, examination of conscience and regular confession of sin, real acts of charity, and the like. This is particularly true of the man who has had the care of your soul placed in his hands.
Nevertheless, cassocks and a fondness for outward display do not a holy man make. For in what way can a man be a minister to the weak if he is not even approachable? How are humility and stand-offishness compatible? I don’t mean that every priest has to be a glad-handed extrovert, or that it isn’t valuable for a priest to be recognizable as a priest by his dress. I do mean that he must be approachable and gentle of spirit towards all.
A priest who scares children away by his chosen attitude does not imitate Christ. He also needs you to approach him as a human being, not as a demi-god. There is a respect for priests that crosses the line to deification. This is not healthy, any more than lack of respect or forgetfulness of his vocation would be.
I don’t attend FSSPX churches, but I have not found NO priests who still preach about the reality of sin and the necessity of not only contrition but a thirst for holiness to be less affable than those who fail to recognize the importance of these things. In fact, on a purely theoretical basis, I would think that a man who does not tend to his own holiness will have a limited toleration for the society of other people who don’t happen to amuse him. There is a physics at play in the spiritual life, too, after all. True charity depends on an ongoing dependence on God. A priest who does not immerse himself in the truth of how life works and what we all need–which is what a life of holiness is, after all–is a trainwreck waiting to happen. We all know that a trainwreck in the engine is the worst of all. Trainwrecks, though, can go off either side of the tracks.
Keep in mind, too, that our priests have made a supreme sacrifice in their obedience to celibacy. The Lord promised to those who gave up wife and children a return of ten and twenty and thirty fold. If you and your pastor don’t particularly hit it off, this is OK. It happens. But it is well to take the time to get to know him. These men no longer come from families of twelve and extended families of dozens. It may be your calling to be among those who are willing provide him with the society of those who appreciate and support his thirst for holiness, his need for human friendship and moments of lightheartedness, and his need to be able to admit that he’s not as perfect as he would like. Every priest needs to find these things from those who will appropriately encourage rather than reject him in his humanity.
In other words, there are times when we ought to ask not what our priests can do for us, but what is ordained for us to do for our priests. In a social setting, this means that if it appears you might make mutually-enriching friends in Christ, by all means pursue that.
If your society seems to wear him out, or if he doesn’t particularly welcome it, though, that’s OK. There is no need to force it. Ask him for that which you actually need, let others minister to his own social needs, and support him in other ways, such as seeing to it that the needs of the Church are met and internal strife is discouraged, freeing him to worry about those needs that only he can meet. This is more help than you can imagine!
