Is physical attraction okay before marriage?

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Is being sexually attracted to women okay before marriage? I thought we are supposed to love everyone as our brothers and sisters in Christ and only in marriage is it acceptable but I have heard differing opinions. I would like to know what the Church teaches about this. Is it a sin? Was Our Lord sexually attracted to anyone? What about Our Lady?

Thank you
 
Is being sexually attracted to women okay before marriage?

For men, yes. 😉
I thought we are supposed to love everyone as our brothers and sisters in Christ and only in marriage is it acceptable but I have heard differing opinions. I would like to know what the Church teaches about this. Is it a sin?

Not a sin, unless one acts on it or if it becomes caught up in it. That’s how we were created.
Was Our Lord sexually attracted to anyone?

Good question. He was tempted in other ways by Satan. I’m sure the temptation was always there, but he resisted it. So, if it’s a yes or no question, I’d say no.

What about Our Lady?

Not in a sinful way, methinks. Again, if a yes or no, no.
Thank you
 
“Sexual attraction” is a natural body function; whereas sin rests in the mind, or will. As long as the attraction is not acted on or fantasized about non-maritally, there would be no sin.

Our human bodies, and their functions, are in themselves morally innocent.

For what it’s worth. I am not a priest or a teacher of religion.

God Bless and ICXC NIKA.
 
At the very top of this Catholic Answers page are tabs among which is one on the subject of ‘CHASTITY’. It is directed toward young Christians. There is a Q&A there, and other information that may be of help to you. God bless.
 
Ok, so “sexual attraction” is a natural function, but sexual arousal is also a natural function. But what makes it acceptable outside marriage? It seems Our Lord, being fully human, should have experienced it too. But somehow, it bothers me to think of Our Lord having been sexually attracted to women.

Moreover, it seems that we are more attracted to those who are “hot.” The level of attraction is all based on good looks and shapeliness, whether one would admit it or not. To me, it seems like we should pray to avoid it, and from my experience, we can avoid it. I can understand sexual attraction and sexual desire is good within marriage, because it’s a means to an end. But outside marriage, it seems wrong.

Is there an official Church teaching on this?
 
I don’t know anything official, but if you weren’t sexually attracted to someone, you wouldn’t marry her either. Or him. Sexual attraction is part of being in love with someone, and it’s a normal thing to be attracted to someone. Without sexual attraction, the human race would eventually die out unless people procreated ONLY for the sake of making babies. We’re hard wired that way.

God gave us sexual appetites, just like all our other appetites. How we use them is the difference between people and critters, between love and lust, good and bad. We make the choice to use our appetites as God intended, or we don’t.
 
I don’t know anything official, but if you weren’t sexually attracted to someone, you wouldn’t marry her either. Or him. Sexual attraction is part of being in love with someone, and it’s a normal thing to be attracted to someone.
Tell that to Rebekah who agreed to marry Isaac not ever having even seen him. Sexual attraction seems good within marriage because it is part of ‘giving’ and ‘procreating’. But outside of marriage those aspects are not present. Allowing sexual attraction to have a role in your life seems selfish and doesn’t involve the good of others (what if the woman was someone’s wife or the man someone’s husband?). So what makes it right outside marriage?
 
Ok, so “sexual attraction” is a natural function, but sexual arousal is also a natural function. But what makes it acceptable outside marriage?
It is a body function, and it is acceptable outside marriage only when it remains a body function: i.e., not fantasized upon (mind) nor acted upon (will).
It seems Our Lord, being fully human, should have experienced it too. But somehow, it bothers me to think of Our Lord having been sexually attracted to women.
There is no reason why HE would not have been; HE was a fully alive human body with all that that implies. But Scripture says nothing about HIS erotic feelings, which suggests they had much less a role in HIS life than they do in most of ours. Might that be a suggestion that they have too commanding a role in our life?
Moreover, it seems that we are more attracted to those who are “hot.” The level of attraction is all based on good looks and shapeliness, whether one would admit it or not.
There is nothing wrong with that. The sense of “hotness” is programmed into our natural head. The “hot” physical form is one which is most suitable for the procreative process, which is, after all, what sexuality is for. GOD did not create sexuality so that human beings could amuse themselves in pairs, but rather, to carry on human life.
To me, it seems like we should pray to avoid it, and from my experience, we can avoid it. I can understand sexual attraction and sexual desire is good within marriage, because it’s a means to an end. But outside marriage, it seems wrong.
It is always good to pray to avoid sexual temptation; while we don’t know from Scripture about our LORD, certainly a number of the Saints struggled with it. Remember, though, the path to marriage should, after all, begin with a physical attraction.

ICXC NIKA
 
Tell that to Rebekah who agreed to marry Isaac not ever having even seen him. Sexual attraction seems good within marriage because it is part of ‘giving’ and ‘procreating’. But outside of marriage those aspects are not present. Allowing sexual attraction to have a role in your life seems selfish and doesn’t involve the good of others (what if the woman was someone’s wife or the man someone’s husband?). So what makes it right outside marriage?
Sexual attraction outside of marriage is a temptation, and like all temptations must be resisted if Life Eternal is to be gained. This goes cubed if the attraction would lead to adultery. But as long as it is not acted or fantasized on, there is no more sin in it than in a muscular twitch, nor can we fully command it.

As to Rebekah: Yes, biblical times had different social standards than we do. Arranged marriage still exists in some countries, but it is not a factor in the Western world. Among Western persons, the trail to marriage begins with bodily attraction. So yes, it does have a good purpose.

ICXC NIKA
 
Tell that to Rebekah who agreed to marry Isaac not ever having even seen him. Sexual attraction seems good within marriage because it is part of ‘giving’ and ‘procreating’. But outside of marriage those aspects are not present. Allowing sexual attraction to have a role in your life seems selfish and doesn’t involve the good of others (what if the woman was someone’s wife or the man someone’s husband?). So what makes it right outside marriage?
Therer is nothing wrong with finding someone attractive. It’s unavoidable. You see a beautiful woman on the street and think “wow, she’s beautiful”, that’s not a sin whether she’s married or not.

It becomes a sin if you seen a relationship with her, if she’s married, or if you have sexual thoughts about her. If you simply notice that they are attractive, that’s not a sin.

I swear, some people will make everything a sin.
 
Sexual attraction outside of marriage is a temptation, and like all temptations must be resisted if Life Eternal is to be gained.
Sexual attraction to the person you are planning to marry is presumed. If you completely lack it at all times, the marriage will not function as it should, and your putative spouse may have grounds for annulment if she is unaware prior to marriage.

Resisting marriage in favor of consecrated celibacy is a call from God to do as He did. But some are not capable, and so they can marry without sin. Those who are capable should follow the Master.
 
Ok, so “sexual attraction” is a natural function, but sexual arousal is also a natural function. But what makes it acceptable outside marriage? It seems Our Lord, being fully human, should have experienced it too. But somehow, it bothers me to think of Our Lord having been sexually attracted to women.

Moreover, it seems that we are more attracted to those who are “hot.” The level of attraction is all based on good looks and shapeliness, whether one would admit it or not. To me, it seems like we should pray to avoid it, and from my experience, we can avoid it. I can understand sexual attraction and sexual desire is good within marriage, because it’s a means to an end. But outside marriage, it seems wrong.

Is there an official Church teaching on this?
I found this comment amazing. We have all seen someone that is with another person whereas one of them is nice looking and the other maybe not to the standards of what you may consider “hot”. Sexual attraction does not entirely emcompass the physical attributes of sex! It is soooo much deeper! And it was meant to be so! When you study and meditate on the fact that Christ love the church…as his “bride”…only then will it boggle the mind that the capacity for love and physical consumation of the marital act is wholesome and PURE…and the emotions and feelings…even sexual feelings will take on an insight much more profound than that of the physical nature, prior marriage. Christ himself “loves” his bride…and seeks her welfare.
 
Sexual attraction to the person you are planning to marry is presumed. If you completely lack it at all times, the marriage will not function as it should.
Of course. But it is still to be resisted; i.e., not fantasized or acted upon. Sexual fantasy and fornication do not become ok just because one hopes to marry the person involved.

An attraction is, by definition, something to which one is drawn. Sexual attraction is a drawing toward sexual behavior with someone. This is innocent in itself, but cannot be said “yes” to, without sin, unless the 2 persons are spouses. ICXC NIKA.
 
Sexual attraction is a drawing toward sexual behavior with someone. This is innocent in itself, but cannot be said “yes” to, without sin, unless the 2 persons are spouses.
I think you are being imprecise and confusing terms. Attraction and arousal are separate things. Arousal outside of the marital act itself is gravely disordered and must not be willed and must always be resisted, according to the Sixth Commandment.

Attraction is disordered and must be resisted only when the object of attraction is unlawful, e.g. same-sex, already married, already consecrated, etc. In the case of attraction for one single person to a single marriageable person of the opposite sex, this needs to be controlled but does not need to be annihilated. And I would question whether disordered attraction is even a sin, or merely an occasion of sin.
 
Ok, so “sexual attraction” is a natural function, but sexual arousal is also a natural function. But what makes it acceptable outside marriage? It seems Our Lord, being fully human, should have experienced it too. But somehow, it bothers me to think of Our Lord having been sexually attracted to women.

Moreover, it seems that we are more attracted to those who are “hot.” The level of attraction is all based on good looks and shapeliness, whether one would admit it or not. To me, it seems like we should pray to avoid it, and from my experience, we can avoid it. I can understand sexual attraction and sexual desire is good within marriage, because it’s a means to an end. But outside marriage, it seems wrong.

Is there an official Church teaching on this?
iam going to recommend a book written by HH John Paul II, its called theology of the body. try to get yourself a copy of it. sex outside marriage is not recommended. being chaste until marriage is. i would also recommend that you visit the vatican’s website, www.vatican.va and use the search feature for marriage and see what you come up with. i will do some looking for you and see what i can find:)

ok i found an answer to your questions from the vatican website:

vatican.va/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm

2353 Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young.

2360 Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman. In marriage the physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion. Marriage bonds between baptized persons are sanctified by the sacrament.

2361 "Sexuality, by means of which man and woman give themselves to one another through the acts which are proper and exclusive to spouses, is not something simply biological, but concerns the innermost being of the human person as such. It is realized in a truly human way only if it is an integral part of the love by which a man and woman commit themselves totally to one another until death."142

2396 Among the sins gravely contrary to chastity are masturbation, fornication, pornography, and homosexual practices.
 
Moreover, it seems that we are more attracted to those who are “hot.” The level of attraction is all based on good looks and shapeliness, whether one would admit it or not.
There is no official Church teaching on this subject, but after many years of observing the phenomenon, I would say that men are most sexually attracted to women who are available.
 
Is being sexually attracted to women okay before marriage? I thought we are supposed to love everyone as our brothers and sisters in Christ and only in marriage is it acceptable but I have heard differing opinions. I would like to know what the Church teaches about this. Is it a sin?
It’s totally fine dude. 👍 You wouldn’t want to marry a girl if you weren’t attracted to her.

Was Our Lord sexually attracted to anyone?
Um, I’m gonna go with no. I don’t think there’s anyway of knowing for sure, but the thought of Jesus being attracted to someone sexually is just really creepy to me. Like super creppy.

What about Our Lady?
Well, she was a regular person and not God, so I’d go with yeah. But boy that’s a weird image to me too.

Thank you
 
I hear you!!! It is hard to get rid of those ridiculous feelings even if you try - so please don’t be hard on yourself. I am striving for total perfection for my PERFECT GOD and this is a stumbling block for me. It should not be given my age and gender - but unfortunately I am not a virgin - I have been married and divorced and then engaged to these other men and learned to love you-know-what.

Unfortunately I still get turned on by certain men and then have to fight those ridiculous thoughts and feelings. I was near this certain HOT man one time and without any conscious thought on my part or any physical contact at all - I turned into an aching, lusty mess - disgusting!!!

It is getting better though - just try to think Holy thoughts - and also I avert my eyes whenever there are attractive men around.

The good LORD has helped me immensely with the decrease of this nonsense. I keep praying for a spiritual hysterectomy to cut off those ridiculous feelings once and for all so all my thoughts and energy can go directly to my GOOD LORD!!! 🙂
 
Oh dear.

I don’t mean to say this to poke fun at the OP or anything, but I think it’s concerns like this which often causes people to think that Christians in general, and the CC have unhealthy views toward sexuality.

There is nothing wrong with having sexual attraction to a woman before marriage. It’s what you do or don’t do that counts. Sexual attraction is something to be met in fruition after marriage, but managing the feelings before can be difficult. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with kissing, holding hands, or cuddling appropriately before marriage as long as the couple is comfortable with it. Unless you’re entering an arranged marriage where you never met the future spouse beforehand, you’re going to have an attraction.

And you have to realize, sexual attraction isn’t just about wanting to just have sex. It’s also about chemistry-- for instance, you should want to feel like being around a woman all the time if you really care for her. That would make getting married a tad difficult if you didn’t have attraction.
 
Is being sexually attracted to women okay before marriage? I thought we are supposed to love everyone as our brothers and sisters in Christ and only in marriage is it acceptable but I have heard differing opinions. I would like to know what the Church teaches about this. Is it a sin? Was Our Lord sexually attracted to anyone? What about Our Lady?

Thank you
From what I understand theological work concerning Jesus Christ’s sexuality (or lack thereof) is strangely absent in the Church. While the Virgin Mary has become more and more sexless as the Marian doctrines have developed.

According to Catholic theology the Mother of God is:
-Eternally Virgin, both physically (meaning that she never lost her hymen) and practically.
-Without Sin (meaning that she never had any lustful thoughts of any kind).
-Untroubled by the normal pain of labor during the Christ Child’s birth.
-And many Catholic theologians have speculated that she was untainted by a woman’s monthly cycle (she never had a period). Though I am unsure whether or not this is official Church doctrine.

As for whether or not a merely human man can be physically attracted to a woman he is not married to without falling into sin, I believe the traditional (small t) answer is no. The modern Church answer (which draws heavily on the Theology of the Body) is more complicated, and I am not sure that I fully understand it.

In my own opinion though, if a man is not attracted to a woman (in some sort of sexual way) he is unlikely to become attracted to her after they are married, and the chances of a happy successful marriage are slim.
 
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