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rayne89
Guest
Ok since there’s a thread that’s been going on with a husbands viewing of porn at the center of the arguement what is your view on pornography’s effect on marriage?
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Shiann
Guest
I believe the amount of pornography in a marriage is inversely related to the strength of the marriage.
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rayne89
Guest
Can you explain further what you mean?
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Darrel
Guest
Porn makes a mockery of all dignity to the vocation of women and men in marriage. It gives glory to pure lust and makes using another human being seem like a good thing. Two people having sex in front of a camera crew for straight financial gain in a way devoid of love is something right out of the abiss. It brings evil to a marriage.
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Genesis315
Guest
A marriage is about total self-giving. I don’t undertsand how a marriage could survive when one party is giving themself to porn.
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Darrel
Guest
Just as an add on.
If a married couple embraces the mentality of porn. They will not be able to achieve true reciprocity in the marital act and will be using each other.
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If a married couple embraces the mentality of porn. They will not be able to achieve true reciprocity in the marital act and will be using each other.
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YinYangMom
Guest
The viewpoint is the same.
What does pornography portray??
It portrays men and women acting on base animal instincts using the parts of the human body any way they please for their own satisfaction. This is against God’s design.
As a female watching a porn flick or browsing through magazines or websites she would be inundated with images encouraging her to allow her husband to do things with her body she knows in her heart is not according to God’s design. As a result she would become fearful of her husband’s advances, not wanting him to look at her or touch her in that manner. It also would always be in the back of her mind, when they do connect, whether he’s making love to her or imagining making love to one of those women.
As a male watching a porn flick or browsing through magazines or websites, he would be learning to view his wife and all her body parts as release for his sexual drives. He would begin to want her to do things as they are done in the porn, and when she does not comply, or if she does, and/or it wasn’t what he expected, he would become dissatisfied, eventually preferring the imaginary sex to the real intimacy he is called to with his wife. I would imagine he, too, would be thinking in the back of his mind whether or not he’s performing to his wife’s expectations if she’s watching porn as well.
Porn focuses on sex, **not **intimacy. Marital sex is sacramental as a visible sign of God’s love. Whether or not each union produces a child, each union is called to renew the marital vows to empty oneself completely into the other to become one with God.
Without God, sex is sex. With God sex is love.
Where can God fit into a porn scene? Nowhere.
What good could possible come to a marriage from porn?
What does pornography portray??
It portrays men and women acting on base animal instincts using the parts of the human body any way they please for their own satisfaction. This is against God’s design.
As a female watching a porn flick or browsing through magazines or websites she would be inundated with images encouraging her to allow her husband to do things with her body she knows in her heart is not according to God’s design. As a result she would become fearful of her husband’s advances, not wanting him to look at her or touch her in that manner. It also would always be in the back of her mind, when they do connect, whether he’s making love to her or imagining making love to one of those women.
As a male watching a porn flick or browsing through magazines or websites, he would be learning to view his wife and all her body parts as release for his sexual drives. He would begin to want her to do things as they are done in the porn, and when she does not comply, or if she does, and/or it wasn’t what he expected, he would become dissatisfied, eventually preferring the imaginary sex to the real intimacy he is called to with his wife. I would imagine he, too, would be thinking in the back of his mind whether or not he’s performing to his wife’s expectations if she’s watching porn as well.
Porn focuses on sex, **not **intimacy. Marital sex is sacramental as a visible sign of God’s love. Whether or not each union produces a child, each union is called to renew the marital vows to empty oneself completely into the other to become one with God.
Without God, sex is sex. With God sex is love.
Where can God fit into a porn scene? Nowhere.
What good could possible come to a marriage from porn?
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Shiann
Guest
I mean that when pornography exists in either or both the marriage partners- the strength of their marriage is lacking.
And when pornography is NOT present, the marriage has a better chance of being stronger.
There is NOTHING good about pornography in a marriage. It takes a sacred act and diminishes it to entertainment or to a biological act when the marital embrace is neither.
If the husband or the wife is using pornography to stimulate themselves for their spouse, they are committing a form of adultery- IMHO.
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wcknight
Guest
I chose “none of the above”.
Porn “can” destroy a marriage.
It should be avoided because it is sinful and can be very destructive to a marriage.
It most certainly does not and can not make it better. BUT as to whether it will certainly destroy a marriage depends.
It is detrimental, but how detrimental is debatable. IT ‘may’ be destructive but how destructive is also debatable.
Porn “can” destroy a marriage.
It should be avoided because it is sinful and can be very destructive to a marriage.
It most certainly does not and can not make it better. BUT as to whether it will certainly destroy a marriage depends.
It is detrimental, but how detrimental is debatable. IT ‘may’ be destructive but how destructive is also debatable.
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Genesis315
Guest
I agree. It’s not necessarily dstroyed beyond repair. I think with repentence and the mercy of God the marriage definitely be healed.
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crobynb
Guest
Porn is damaging to any/all marriage and family life.
We should honor, respect, and cherish the physical intimacy God allows us to have with our spouses. We are not objects meant to appease sexual gratification in such a voyeuristic manner.
When I took my wedding vows - FORSAKING ALL OTHERS!! I meant it, along with my husband. Out of honoring each other and maintaining our morals and virtues we refuse to engage in that sort of behavior.
Another thing to remember is - the people posing in the magazines, or acting in the videos, or even live “performances” are real human beings. Yes, I understand that they are consenting of their own will - but that still does not make it right. Each one of those persons is someones mother, father, son, daughter, spouse, or sibling. Would you want your family member doing that? How would you feel if you opened up your “entertainment” and there was your daughter or son?
Now think how that makes God feel since we are all his children.
We should honor, respect, and cherish the physical intimacy God allows us to have with our spouses. We are not objects meant to appease sexual gratification in such a voyeuristic manner.
When I took my wedding vows - FORSAKING ALL OTHERS!! I meant it, along with my husband. Out of honoring each other and maintaining our morals and virtues we refuse to engage in that sort of behavior.
Another thing to remember is - the people posing in the magazines, or acting in the videos, or even live “performances” are real human beings. Yes, I understand that they are consenting of their own will - but that still does not make it right. Each one of those persons is someones mother, father, son, daughter, spouse, or sibling. Would you want your family member doing that? How would you feel if you opened up your “entertainment” and there was your daughter or son?
Now think how that makes God feel since we are all his children.
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Pug
Guest
I agree. I wanted to see this “can” option on the poll. I know marriages that have porn still existing in them, but the marriage goes on (after many years). The porn adds nothing to marriage. It only subtracts.
Of course, people could argue that the marriage with ongoing porn use by one party for 40 years is not a marriage, but I think they are wrong. Ask the participants. They think it is a marriage.
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MEP
Guest
Pornography destroys every vestige of the spirit within a person. A person is lucky if their marriage is the only thing that it ruins.
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space_ghost
Guest
…probably no faster path to hell…
IMHO…
IMHO…
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rayne89
Guest
Because someone remains married doesn’t mean a marriage isn’t destroyed, the shell is there but the “soul” of the marriage is gone. I know many such marriages.
Of course married couples can and sometimes do recover from the damaging effects of porn in a marriage, just as they recover form adultery, deceit, alcohol abuse and many other injuries to marriage.But I would say only after the porn is out of the marriage, which to me means while there is porn there is only continuing damage.
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Pug
Guest
What is this soul, the soul of a marriage? In the folks I was thinking of, the committment is there and they spend time together, nearly inseparable (I’m thinking of more than one couple, btw). They show concern for one another, and often sacrifice things, showing forth love during sickness and trial. However trust is gravely wounded.
It seems to me that marriage can be a marriage with wounded trust. It is a cross. Just as if your son turns out to be a thief who steals from you to pay for drugs and eventually dies face down in a ditch. While alive, he remains your son who is in a relationship of sorts with you. Perhaps you enjoy his company while you can and let the rest be the rest.
Yes, while the porn remains, there is ongoing damage to the marriage and perhaps danger to the soul of the porn user.
What is a marriage that is a shell, or what is the soul of a marriage?
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Timidity
Guest
I have to say that I find the OP’s sexist comments that “boys will be boys” to be very offensive. It’s not like women are paragons of virtue and men are only source of evil in the world. With the “glorious” advent of the Internet, porn has become an equal opportunity sin.
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rayne89
Guest
Ok to me the shell of the marriage is it appears to the world as a marriage. People live under the same house, they raise their kids, go out to dinner, family vacations ect. The do what married people do. They appear to the outside world as a married couple but the inside relationship is very different.
To me the soul (and I realize there is no such thing as an actual soul of marriage -just using it in a decriptive sense) the marriage is the deep spiritual bond between 2 people. The compassion, the trust, the willing to sacrifice, the tenderness, the willingness to be forgiving -these to me are the “soul” of a marriage.
I have not seen in my own experience a happy marriage where porn was an on going part of the marriage.
In one instance a husband of friend was arrested for hiring a prostitute after years of view porn.
In another case the husband lies contiuously about viewing porn. Their sex life has become non-existant and the relationship is a battle zone.
In another case the man has become self absorbed, talks about flirting with other women at the gym and laughs it off when he finds out his 15 year old son has been viewing porn.
In another case the husband makes rude comments about his wifes appearance (even though she is not over weight and takes care of her looks), has told her he found her more attractive when she was thinner and treats her as a service station when it comes to sex.
In my own case it deadened our intimacy, erroded my trust, twisted my husbands (an someways my own) view of sex and was actually ruining our sex life. But with God’s grace we have recovered, and have a strong loving marriage but that came after the porn was gone.
So I know a marriage can survive pornography problems. In my own experience while porn remains an issue the damage continues.
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rayne89
Guest
I apologize. I agree with you, I viewed porn myself in the beginning of my marriage. I thought I was a secure liberated woman - or something rediculous like that. I used the phrase “boys will be boys” because I hear it alot with other women who dislike their husbands porn problems but accept it because the world tells them that all men do it. And men I work with say “all” men look at porn, some just lie about it -which I know is not true.
Some people just see it as part of being a guy. I disagree ofcourse but I put it out there because some hold to that opinion. (Thankfully none here so far.)
I’m sorry if I offended you.
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Timidity
Guest
I’m likewise sorry if I came across as short tempered.
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