Is pretending to be a good Catholic the same as lying?

[Vic_Taltrees_UK]

Some children go through an “uppity” phase and like to catch their mums out!

 

[1ke]

In the context the OP raised it, I’ve never seen that kind of advice either. And rarely have I seen a non- catholic parent attend regular mass, unless of course they are considering their own faith options. I very much doubt that the catholic parent (in general) would expect such behaviour of the non-Catholic parent.

We have several non Catholic spouses who attend with the Catholic spouse and children who are being raised Catholic. They do not go to communion, they do not pretend to be Catholic, but they do support the Catholic spouse in raising the children Catholic including being active in the parish such as at the parish bazaar, volunteering for various activities, bringing their kids to religion classes, etc.

Only a few of the non Catholic parents have ever converted.

 

[Rau]

We have several non Catholic spouses who attend with the Catholic spouse and children who are being raised Catholic. They do not go to communion, they do not pretend to be Catholic, but they do support the Catholic spouse in raising the children Catholic including being active in the parish such as at the parish bazaar, volunteering for various activities, bringing their kids to religion classes, etc…

No doubt there are. Though I would argue that is to rheir credit, and not something that ought be expected.

 

[WillyAL]

I am a non-Catholic. Non-believer actually. I attend Sunday Mass with my Catholic wife almost every week. During Mass I stand when everyone else stands, sit when they sit, and kneel when they kneel. I am even involved in a few parish activities. Although I don’t wear a sign proclaiming my status, everyone knows I am not a Catholic. My attendance is more of a family unity thing than a personal faith journey. I’m not lying to anyone.

 

[THP]

Why go through all that effort for an image?

I think this probably happens much more than we all think. Imagine a scenario where you are raised Catholic, all of your family is Catholic, you marry a Catholic spouse and are raising your children in the faith. Then, for whatever personal reasons, you stop believing. Don’t you think it would be much easier to just pretend that you believe and go through the motions then upset the family dynamic and all the drama that would create? I grant you that it is lying to yourself and others but it would definitely be easier.

There are times when I am sitting in the pew wondering if I truly believe all the things I profess outloud to believe. It is not all the time but it does happen occasionally. I could see how it lead to thinking that way all the time. I think we should all admit it is not easy to believe what we are supposed to believe, for example, transubstantiation is challenge for me to believe at times.

 

[PRmerger]

I am a non-Catholic. Non-believer actually. I attend Sunday Mass with my Catholic wife almost every week. During Mass I stand when everyone else stands, sit when they sit, and kneel when they kneel. I am even involved in a few parish activities. Although I don’t wear a sign proclaiming my status, everyone knows I am not a Catholic. My attendance is more of a family unity thing than a personal faith journey. I’m not lying to anyone.

Curious: what is it that you don’t believe re: Catholicism?

 

[PRmerger]

I think this probably happens much more than we all think. Imagine a scenario where you are raised Catholic, all of your family is Catholic, you marry a Catholic spouse and are raising your children in the faith. Then, for whatever personal reasons, you stop believing. Don’t you think it would be much easier to just pretend that you believe and go through the motions then upset the family dynamic and all the drama that would create? I grant you that it is lying to yourself and others but it would definitely be easier.

There are times when I am sitting in the pew wondering if I truly believe all the things I profess outloud to believe. It is not all the time but it does happen occasionally. I could see how it lead to thinking that way all the time. I think we should all admit it is not easy to believe what we are supposed to believe, for example, transubstantiation is challenge for me to believe at times.

When you have a hard time believing “what we are supposed to believe”, try doing what Cardinal John Henry Newman stated: one can struggle with a teaching and “may be annoyed that he cannot work out a mathematical problem, without doubting that it admits an answer”.

 

[CRATUS]

I think this probably happens much more than we all think. Imagine a scenario where you are raised Catholic, all of your family is Catholic, you marry a Catholic spouse and are raising your children in the faith. Then, for whatever personal reasons, you stop believing. Don’t you think it would be much easier to just pretend that you believe and go through the motions then upset the family dynamic and all the drama that would create? I grant you that it is lying to yourself and others but it would definitely be easier.

There are times when I am sitting in the pew wondering if I truly believe all the things I profess outloud to believe. It is not all the time but it does happen occasionally. I could see how it lead to thinking that way all the time. I think we should all admit it is not easy to believe what we are supposed to believe, for example, transubstantiation is challenge for me to believe at times.

I do not mean to condemn. I understand if you put it that way. What is transubstantiation? I do not know how much I believe in condemnation

 

[WillyAL]

Curious: what is it that you don’t believe re: Catholicism?

All of it. Except the teaching regarding abortion. Abortion is some seriously repugnant stuff. And after-Mass doughnuts. I do believe in Catholic doughnuts.

 

[Vico]

For instance, going to mass and taking part in prayer when you don’t really believe any of it but letting people believe you do…

Or being asked if you believe this or that that the Church or bible teaches and not being honest when answering (lie of omission?)…

In other words, is it a lie to let others believe something about you that you know is untrue but do nothing to correct their assumptions?

It feels like lying to me.

Faith is a supernatural gift of the Holy Spirit. It is a error to say that to understand is to believe. Assuming that you can understand all is an error. So you can assent to the truth without understanding it through the supernatural gift of faith.

Catechism:

"Incredulity is the neglect of revealed truth or the willful refusal to assent to it.

 

[Convert_in_99]

I’m just thinking of all the advice to non-Catholics in mixed marriages with kids where they’re told to just “fake it” so the kids don’t realize that Mom or Dad are really protestants or atheists or agnostics.

I’m in a mixed marriage (Catholic-Protestant.) We don’t have kids, but even if we did I would never ask my husband to lie about his beliefs. I would ask that I would be free to fully immerse the children in the Catholic faith, but I would also allow him to tell the children what he believes if they asked. He would be free to take the children to his church also, so long as they had already made it to mass that Sunday. That is what we agreed to with the counsel of my priest.

 

[PRmerger]

All of it. Except the teaching regarding abortion. Abortion is some seriously repugnant stuff. And after-Mass doughnuts. I do believe in Catholic doughnuts.

You don’t believe in God?

What is your explanation for how something could come from nothing?

 

[LethalMouse]

Well, there are levels and intents.

I got a envelope on my car from a parishioner running for office. He technically didnt “campaign” but just asked for prayers with obvious intent to let you knowna fellow catholic is running.

If he is a good catholic than I really see no issue whatsoever.

If he went to church because he thought it would give him a political edge and doesn’t go for any other reason, that would be serious lie factor.

Now I have gone to church while not really believing, and while being… a “protestant catholic” ie: knowing I disagree with the church in theory but still going to the CC because I hadn’t heard of anywhere better.

I was not “lying” but slowly growing toward God in a journey.

So I think these are good examples of the possible difference between lying and not when pretending to be a “good” catholic.

I also think there is a line with kids. I think you cant really tmexolain to a 5 yr old “Mommy believes in God, and I am raising you to, but I don’t because He is not real”…

Yeah that would just be insane.