For what it is worth, having gone through RCIA myself, I have no clue where people are getting the idea it is some sort of touchy feely cumbaya session until Easter Vigil

Mine was kind…but…made very clear there are rules, expectations, etc. and this was a very important path we were embarking on.
Being painfully shy by nature, I was scared to death to enter into the Church at Easter Vigil. I didn’t want everyone looking at me while I got doused! Let’s be realistic!!! I said.

tried like crazy to get out of it. But the catechists were great, and yep, in front everybody, I got baptised. I know the sheer terror the OP’s wife must feel
but, the vast majority of unbaptised come into the Church this way, and we all survived it

In fact, when you do come into the Church, it amazing the pure love you see on faces of those Catholics in attendance when they witness your baptism. It really builds you up and lets you know instantly you made a good decision