Is satan dividing my family?

[pete_l]

I have 4 wonderful children but the 2 middle daughters are viciously fighting over petty issues! The younger of the 2 just got married and included the other in her wedding party. The older one marries in April and has not included her sister in her wedding! I have discussed this with her and am to the point that I may not attend her Catholic wedding myself! She has called me a “Hypocrite” and I feel I would be one if I walk her down the aisle in front of God when I am not sure of her future happiness…The entire family, my wife of 32 yrs.;my oldest daughter; my third daughter; my son (19yrs old) and two spouses do not feel this soon to be wed sister is even happy! I am about to call & meet with the priest that is to marry them!!!
Any ideas…

 

[MaryT777]

I think it’s a great idea to talk to the priest about the issues in your post. Whenever someone uses the word satan in a post as the instigator of division then a priest is in order to assist the situation.

God Bless,
Mary.

 

[Lorelei12]

Wait, you may not attend your daughter’s wedding because her sister isn’t in the wedding party? None of my siblings were in my wedding party.

I don’t really think you have given enough details here. Why don’t you think she is happy? Do you disapprove of her fiance?

If they are meeting with a priest as part of their premarital preparation, then no, you should not meet with the priest to discuss her relationship. That is his job and frankly, none of your business unless you know something like he was married before or some other pertinent detail that would be an impediment.

 

[mommy_k]

As a parent, I would be upset with my kids if they did this. Culturally, for us it is the norm to have all sisters and brothers included. This makes for some very large wedding parties, but this is what we do. I would imagine my parents not paying or contributing to the wedding if I left someone out. They would attend, but that’s it.

I would not be surprised if your younger daughter does not attend, because it is hurting her and feels like a slap in the face. If things were explained to her, and no other siblings are included either, then maybe things can be smoothed out. But they need to talk about it.

I can see why you think satan is behind this because of possible future strife it will cause.

 

[agnes_therese]

I don’t think you need to look to Satan for this. Just plain old human nature.

 

[FrenzyJen]

It is nice that your daughter decided to include her sister. But nothing binds your other daughter to have her sister as a bridesmaid. I don’t see what the problem is.

I opted to have no wedding party to avoid nonsense like this. Please don’t add another stressor to an already stressful season in life. She is a grown woman, let her make her own choices.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I am not sure that the issue rises to the level of Satan - as another poster said, regular human nature can account for this.

Certainly, you can speak to your priest about any issue bothering you - but you shouldn’t go to your priest to tattle on this daughter’s wedding plans. If she’s going through marriage prep in the church and neither she or her fiance have any impediments to the marriage, than your best bet is to pray for them.

No one is required to have a wedding party at all (just the witnesses), so the sister who wasn’t asked needs to be gracious and not throw a snit-fit over not being included. She’s already a married woman - surely she’s got better things to worry about. I can see not being happy either when my entire family is ganging up on me over who is in the completely optional wedding party.

If there is a more serious reason why you think your daighter isn’t happy, than you and her mom can gently discuss that issue with her (and her fiance if appropriate). Show her you care about her long-term well-being, her happiness in this life and the next. Don’t get hung up on what is, essentially, a small detail. Look to the bigger picture and see what you can do to help her there.

 

[Cricket2]

I have to suspect deeper issues here. Why would one sister want her sister at her wedding, and the other just the opposite?

If you did see the priest the only thing you probable mention is that you fear your daughter is unhappy about her upcoming marriage, but I am not so sure you should do this. Have you told her you think she is unhappy about this and then asked her why? Maybe she is struggling with her choice to marry and all she needs is someone to help her see this.

I think the devil works constantly to divide families. What better way to destroy the basic foundation of society and the Church. Pray to the Holy Family for help.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

My husband did not include his younger brother in our wedding. Yes, it upset his brother very much, yes, his brother would have made my husband the best man without even thinking about it if their positions were reversed, and yes, my huband’s family was extremely upset.

But I’m glad they decided to let it go and drop it. My husband’s brother had spent years being awful to me and trying to convince my husband to leave me. He didn’t want him in the wedding because he had never shown any sign of being supportive, or that he would ever do anything but outright reject me as a part of the family.

For the sake of family harmony and out of respect for his brother, we did not tell everyone why he was excluded, though many people pressed. It would have been embarrassing for everyone involved if we had made a stink about it. So, my husband just stuck to his guns and we weathered the storm. I’m telling you this to point out that there’s a good chance that something is going on between your daughters that you aren’t privy to. Threatening to not go to your daughter’s wedding because of a private issue between her and her sister won’t help anything, and will probably just alienate your family more.