Is self harm a sin?

[Lea101]

No person is better off self harming their body. Cutting is not a productive way to deal with emotions because it doesn’t help the situation, why a person feels the way they do and why they respond in the way they do. It does show a some kind of mental illness because it’s an unhealthy way to handle emotions.

They could. But imagine how much more loving they could be to others knowing that they are happy with themselves, and they can accept themselves for who they are.

I don’t know if you’re asking this because you are in this situation, but I know people who used to self harm. I knew them when they used to self harm, and not one of them did so because they were happy. Sometimes they found it hard to stop themselves at “lightly injuring”. Not one of them were better off self harming, and the endorphins released? They didn’t last, so they repeated the behaviour. When they eventually got professional help, the self harm stopped. Why? Because doing so is dangerous, unhealthy and it was not a productive way to deal with their problems. Yes, they were loving to others before but now they are so much happier and content within themselves because they learnt to love themselves.

Lou

All of the sweetest, most caring people I know are always hurting to be honest. Quite sad

And I’m asking because someone told me it was a mortal sin but it doesn’t look that way?

I have done it in the past mostly, when things get hard. And then I recently did it again. It is not an addiction and I don’t have any mental illness, trust me. It was one of the things I did when I was angry at myself? Like how you would punish someone for doing something wrong, or slap someone if they pissed you off. So it’s not a routine thing unlike most people.

Anyway, the thing is that it always helped me to calm down and all the other “methods” people usually recommend suck anyway. It’s like they don’t understand at all

I was just wondering if this is something that means that I cannot take holy communion anymore until I confessed? I have never ever confessed it becausea I didn’t view it as a sin for almost 3 or 4 years, and so far, it seems like the church or the bible have not said anything of the sort? If it’s a mortal sin, then surely the answer would be clear, right?

I’m not really asking for advice here, just that simple question, or at least when would it be wrong?

 

[Lea101]

I moved away from that town. Basically though, he is cheerful and self reliant, so probably yes. And a believer in Christ.

Oh that’s good

 

[Vic_Taltrees_UK]

… how to argue when the person seems better off doing it?

1. Don’t argue. Pray that Christ will send more help into her life. Any kind of help and all kinds of help. He will ask you whether you have prayed for this for her.
2. Then you say as if to counter that how we love ourselves parallels how we love others, that she could be extremely loving already. But think of the quality of that, it could flow more relaxed and full and she could be hardier in the face of increasing hardship in the future. Therefore as an argument against praying for her, as in point 1, it is knocked on the head.
3. As I’ve said before, it’s bad to try to be casuistic on someone’s behalf (or indeed one’s own) and we certainly ought not to be putting them in the spotlight. If you model the poise that Christ’s indwelling and daily help gives you, she will get the message that she can ask Him to send more and more help into her life. My friend had enough faith to ask Him that and his anxiety levels gradually decreased, in zigzag fashion. He didn’t say (out loud) “these are my eyes and I’ll blacken them if I want to”! But at the same time I didn’t comment at all on it while he was doing it. Maybe your friend says things like that because she is under explicit criticism. Being targetted is the exact opposite of what she needs. Practice being casual when you are around her and her ordinary activities.

 

[Vic_Taltrees_UK]

All of the sweetest, most caring people I know are always hurting to be honest. Quite sad

And I’m asking because someone told me it was a mortal sin but it doesn’t look that way?

… all the other “methods” people usually recommend suck anyway. It’s like they don’t understand at all

I was just wondering if this is something that means that I cannot take holy communion anymore until I confessed? I have never ever confessed it because I didn’t view it as a sin for almost 3 or 4 years, and so far, it seems like the church or the bible have not said anything of the sort? If it’s a mortal sin, then surely the answer would be clear, right?

I’m not really asking for advice here, just that simple question, or at least when would it be wrong?

I thought it was your roommate.

Search the forum for the interrelationship between venial sin (which one can’t help committing while firmly set on not sinning), communion and confession (bearing in mind this “action” is really more like a tic, that merely has a very small scale unfortunate effect). I’m not a sacraments expert but your earlier instincts on all this may have been close to the mark. Something can be wrong but no reason to get casuistic,

God may Lea have huge help from you in her life from this day on. Amen glory!

The rest of what I said holds - get curious about His indwelling, His help, His poise. Accept yourself as person as distinct from all of your actions. He most cleverly created you exactly right, a masterpiece, where and when you have been and are.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

All of the sweetest, most caring people I know are always hurting to be honest. Quite sad

Empathy comes from suffering. It’s sad when people don’t have empathy.

Anyway, the thing is that it always helped me to calm down and all the other “methods” people usually recommend suck anyway. It’s like they don’t understand at all

life is NOT supposed to be comfortable and easy. Jesus’ spoke in parables so that only those who worked at understanding would be enlightened. The same goes for all (even empathy) other knowledge in life, it’s not supposed to be easy.

I was just wondering if this is something that means that I cannot take holy communion anymore until I confessed? I have never ever confessed it becausea I didn’t view it as a sin for almost 3 or 4 years, and so far, it seems like the church or the bible have not said anything of the sort? If it’s a mortal sin, then surely the answer would be clear, right?

I’m not really asking for advice here, just that simple question, or at least when would it be wrong?

Yes, it’s a sin! Everybody’s cutting sin is different depending on what is in their heart and their head when their doing it. Some could be mortal, some not. We can’t tell you if it’s a mortal sin because that requires a judgement of your heart and your knowledge, which is something no one can do but God. Confession is about you knowing whats in your heart, and confessing to your confessor who can give you guidance about your situation.

The CCC says that any sins which fall under the commandments is of grave matter, which is one of the three qualifications of a mortal sin.
All of the following is consequential to your question of whether it is a mortal sin.
*
IV. THE GRAVITY OF SIN: MORTAL AND VENIAL SIN

1854 Sins are rightly evaluated according to their gravity. The distinction between mortal and venial sin, already evident in Scripture,129 became part of the tradition of the Church. It is corroborated by human experience.

1855** Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart of man by a grave violation of God’s law; it turns man away from God**, who is his ultimate end and his beatitude, by preferring an inferior good to him.

Venial sin allows charity to subsist, even though it offends and wounds it.

1856 Mortal sin, by attacking the vital principle within us - that is, charity - necessitates a new initiative of God’s mercy and a conversion of heart which is normally accomplished within the setting of the sacrament of reconciliation:

When the will sets itself upon something that is of its nature incompatible with the charity that orients man toward his ultimate end, then the sin is mortal by its very object . . . whether it contradicts the love of God, such as blasphemy or perjury, or the love of neighbor, such as homicide or adultery. . . . But when the sinner’s will is set upon something that of its nature involves a disorder, but is not opposed to the love of God and neighbor, such as thoughtless chatter or immoderate laughter and the like, such sins are venial.130
1857 For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent."131

1858 Grave matter is specified by the Ten Commandments, corresponding to the answer of Jesus to the rich young man: "Do not kill, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and your mother."132 The gravity of sins is more or less great: murder is graver than theft. One must also take into account who is wronged: violence against parents is in itself graver than violence against a stranger.

1859 Mortal sin requires full knowledge and complete consent. It presupposes knowledge of the sinful character of the act, of its opposition to God’s law. It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice. Feigned ignorance and hardness of heart133 do not diminish, but rather increase, the voluntary character of a sin.

1860 Unintentional ignorance can diminish or even remove the imputability of a grave offense. But no one is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man. The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders. Sin committed through malice, by deliberate choice of evil, is the gravest.

1861 Mortal sin is a radical possibility of human freedom, as is love itself. It results in the loss of charity and the privation of sanctifying grace, that is, of the state of grace. If it is not redeemed by repentance and God’s forgiveness, it causes exclusion from Christ’s kingdom and the eternal death of hell, for our freedom has the power to make choices for ever, with no turning back. However, although we can judge that an act is in itself a grave offense, we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God.

1862 One commits venial sin when, in a less serious matter, he does not observe the standard prescribed by the moral law, or when he disobeys the moral law in a grave matter, but without full knowledge or without complete consent.

1863 Venial sin weakens charity; it manifests a disordered affection for created goods; it impedes the soul’s progress in the exercise of the virtues and the practice of the moral good; it merits temporal punishment. Deliberate and unrepented venial sin disposes us little by little to commit mortal sin. However venial sin does not break the covenant with God. With God’s grace it is humanly reparable. "Venial sin does not deprive the sinner of sanctifying grace, friendship with God, charity, and consequently eternal happiness."134*

 

[adamhovey1988]

Some people say it’s not, because it’s your body etc?

Others said it is wrong because it’s not “ours”, but God’s, and we should treat it like a temple. (And by the way, I’m not talking about alcoholism, drugs or anything like that, but more of cutting, burning or any form of instant self injurt people inflict on themselves)

Is it a sin (something you need to confess)? What if it’s a way to relieve anger or whatever emotion and it’s not a threat to the person? (He or she does not cut deeply, but just so that it bleeds slightly, for example? The person finds relief in this, and is not suffering from any mental illness)

And if yes, what kind of sin is it? And why is it wrong?

Bible verse/quotes from the catechism would be appreciated

Thanks in advance xx
(I don’t know if this is in the right forum though)

I am a recovering self-harmer. I was informed by my former pastor that intentional self-harm is as in because of what you are doing. I feel like it is wrong because your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. I feel if it’s wrong to cut someone else because they are made in the image and likeness of God, those same standards should apply to ourselves.

 

[Lea101]

I am a recovering self-harmer. I was informed by my former pastor that intentional self-harm is as in because of what you are doing. I feel like it is wrong because your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. I feel if it’s wrong to cut someone else because they are made in the image and likeness of God, those same standards should apply to ourselves.

I see it as a sin to cut someone else because it is wrong to cause someone else to feel pain, like how animal abuse is wrong?

 

[Lea101]

Empathy comes from suffering. It’s sad when people don’t have empathy.

life is NOT supposed to be comfortable and easy. Jesus’ spoke in parables so that only those who worked at understanding would be enlightened. The same goes for all (even empathy) other knowledge in life, it’s not supposed to be easy.

Yes, it’s a sin! Everybody’s cutting sin is different depending on what is in their heart and their head when their doing it. Some could be mortal, some not. We can’t tell you if it’s a mortal sin because that requires a judgement of your heart and your knowledge, which is something no one can do but God. Confession is about you knowing whats in your heart, and confessing to your confessor who can give you guidance about your situation.

The CCC says that any sins which fall under the commandments is of grave matter, which is one of the three qualifications of a mortal sin.
All of the following is consequential to your question of whether it is a mortal sin.
*
IV. THE GRAVITY OF SIN: MORTAL AND VENIAL SIN

1854 Sins are rightly evaluated according to their gravity. The distinction between mortal and venial sin, already evident in Scripture,129 became part of the tradition of the Church. It is corroborated by human experience.

1855** Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart of man by a grave violation of God’s law; it turns man away from God***, who is his ultimate end and his beatitude, by preferring an inferior good to him.

Venial sin allows charity to subsist, even though it offends and wounds it.

1856 Mortal sin, by attacking the vital principle within us - that is, charity - necessitates a new initiative of God’s mercy and a conversion of heart which is normally accomplished within the setting of the sacrament of reconciliation:

When the will sets itself upon something that is of its nature incompatible with the charity that orients man toward his ultimate end, then the sin is mortal by its very object . . . whether it contradicts the love of God, such as blasphemy or perjury, or the love of neighbor, such as homicide or adultery. . . . But when the sinner’s will is set upon something that of its nature involves a disorder, but is not opposed to the love of God and neighbor, such as thoughtless chatter or immoderate laughter and the like, such sins are venial.130
1857 For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent."131

1858 Grave matter is specified by the Ten Commandments, corresponding to the answer of Jesus to the rich young man: "Do not kill, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and your mother."132 The gravity of sins is more or less great: murder is graver than theft. One must also take into account who is wronged: violence against parents is in itself graver than violence against a stranger.

1859 Mortal sin requires full knowledge and complete consent. It presupposes knowledge of the sinful character of the act, of its opposition to God’s law. It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice. Feigned ignorance and hardness of heart133 do not diminish, but rather increase, the voluntary character of a sin.

1860 Unintentional ignorance can diminish or even remove the imputability of a grave offense. But no one is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man. The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders. Sin committed through malice, by deliberate choice of evil, is the gravest.

1861 Mortal sin is a radical possibility of human freedom, as is love itself. It results in the loss of charity and the privation of sanctifying grace, that is, of the state of grace. If it is not redeemed by repentance and God’s forgiveness, it causes exclusion from Christ’s kingdom and the eternal death of hell, for our freedom has the power to make choices for ever, with no turning back. However, although we can judge that an act is in itself a grave offense, we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God.

1862 One commits venial sin when, in a less serious matter, he does not observe the standard prescribed by the moral law, or when he disobeys the moral law in a grave matter, but without full knowledge or without complete consent.

1863 Venial sin weakens charity; it manifests a disordered affection for created goods; it impedes the soul’s progress in the exercise of the virtues and the practice of the moral good; it merits temporal punishment. Deliberate and unrepented venial sin disposes us little by little to commit mortal sin. However venial sin does not break the covenant with God. With God’s grace it is humanly reparable. "Venial sin does not deprive the sinner of sanctifying grace, friendship with God, charity, and consequently eternal happiness."134

I’m sorry but I do not understand!!

I roughly understand, I mean, but I do not see the link here. How are little scratches going to send me to hell forever? It is the only way that helps me to calm down properly

What cases do you think is mortal and what not?

 

[pensmama87]

I’m sorry but I do not understand!!

I roughly understand, I mean, but I do not see the link here. How are little scratches going to send me to hell forever? It is the only way that helps me to calm down properly

What cases do you think is mortal and what not?

You need to learn other ways of coping. It is hard, but they are out there.

The fact that it helps you.cope is not enough to make it OK. Some people yank their hair out, some people overeat or undereat or purge, some gamble, some look at pornography, some people drink or do drugs. These things are not healthy and are prone to escalation.

Please seek help ASAP. Hotlines, Catholic Charities, resources at your work or school. When I was a teacher I was mandated to report any child who I knew or suspected of self-harm. Students may have been angry with me at the time but they thanked me later.

Praying for you. Please get help.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

I’m sorry but I do not understand!!

I roughly understand, I mean, but I do not see the link here. How are little scratches going to send me to hell forever? It is the only way that helps me to calm down properly

What cases do you think is mortal and what not?

You are most definitely NOT going to hell for this, but it is still a sin. Your case does not sound mortal. Mortal sin requires turning your back on God, flying in the face of God, spiting God, doing something because you realize God doesn’t want you to do it;* so because you know God does not want you to do it, you do it anyway, to spite Him.*

That’s the best description I can give of having full knowledge of what you are doing in order for the “full knowledge” qualification part of a mortal sin to be met. I would imagine that there are some people who think to themselves: “I know that God doesn’t want me to do this but I’m going to do it anyway just to spite Him.” That’s a mortal sin.

Suffering with anxiety (as long as it’s not a mental illness) without using drugs, alcohol, sex, cutting or whatever poison you pick, will help you be a better person in the long run.

Dealing with issues like stress and anxiety is no different than a child learning how to walk. They fall, they get hurt, they get back up. No one would ever suggest that they should sit and not learn, or that they should take medication to help them focus on walking, or that they should take steroids to strengthen their legs so walking is not such a chore.

 

[Lea101]

You need to learn other ways of coping. It is hard, but they are out there.

The fact that it helps you.cope is not enough to make it OK. Some people yank their hair out, some people overeat or undereat or purge, some gamble, some look at pornography, some people drink or do drugs. These things are not healthy and are prone to escalation.

Please seek help ASAP. Hotlines, Catholic Charities, resources at your work or school. When I was a teacher I was mandated to report any child who I knew or suspected of self-harm. Students may have been angry with me at the time but they thanked me later.

Praying for you. Please get help.

Don’t worry, it’s not an addiction and my life is not in danger, I promise! Getting help is a no-no. First thing, if my family finds out…I don’t know what will happen. I love them but they are ignorant! Plus I have a little sister that copies me. She’s already trying to lose weight because I’m slim, and of course, my dad isn’t too pleased
And second, I don’t have any money to pay someone to tell me things I probably know

I don’t have any mental illness at all, so there’s no point. I’m just a little weird-I cope best when I “punish” (that term sounds harsh) myself or else I tend to do rash things? If that makes sense?

 

[Lea101]

Suffering with anxiety (as long as it’s not a mental illness) without using drugs, alcohol, sex, cutting or whatever poison you pick, will help you be a better person in the long run.

Dealing with issues like stress and anxiety is no different than a child learning how to walk. They fall, they get hurt, they get back up. No one would ever suggest that they should sit and not learn, or that they should take medication to help them focus on walking, or that they should take steroids to strengthen their legs so walking is not such a chore.

Stress/anxiety is not a trigger for me (although I understand it is a popular trigger for many). I don’t want to sound depressing or pathetic but I guess I need to explain further so I can get your opinions?

I do it when I’m really really really upset with myself-for example, I relapsed recently because I was overcome with sadness that I was born a woman? (stupid. I KNOW!) Or unattractive, or if I made someone really angry at me? Or if I have done something embarrassing. I know it doesn’t make sense!! But yeah I don’t know how else I could explain this?

 

[puzzledtoo]

Lea101,
Nothing you are saying is making any sense to me. All I’m reading seems to be coming out of the mouth of an teenager with mental disease. I mean disease in the sense of dis-ease. A cold is dis-ease in the body and so is the flu or anything of the sort. Anxiety is dis-ease and anger is dis-ease. We all have dis-ease in the body and mind to some extent like it or not.
You wish for the endorphins from cutting. You can experience endorphins from any kind of exercise and from meditation as well. So going for a walk or swim, meditating or praying are all ways to release endorphins without harming oneself.
You wish to punish yourself? Skip a meal and offer this effort for the benefit of all beings everywhere. Sleep on the floor or force yourself to get up 1-2 hours earlier than usual-allow these to be your penance for whatever excuse you use to do self harm.
I’ll leave it at that and when you come back with one or your nonsensical, childish,excuses I’ll take that as my cue to kick the dust from my sandals and walk away.
May you be filled with lovingkindness. May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be happy. Blessings to you and yours.

 

[pensmama87]

Don’t worry, it’s not an addiction and my life is not in danger, I promise! Getting help is a no-no. First thing, if my family finds out…I don’t know what will happen. I love them but they are ignorant! Plus I have a little sister that copies me. She’s already trying to lose weight because I’m slim, and of course, my dad isn’t too pleased
And second, I don’t have any money to pay someone to tell me things I probably know

I don’t have any mental illness at all, so there’s no point. I’m just a little weird-I cope best when I “punish” (that term sounds harsh) myself or else I tend to do rash things? If that makes sense?

It may not be now. These things always start small and everyone says to themselves, “I can control it.”

Get help for it now before it’s a big thing. Doctor-patient confidentiality is very important in mental health. You can seek help and have privacy - especially if you have access to resources of a school, which you do if you’re a student. I don’t have a major big mental illness, but I have had periods in my life when I have been depressed, and I didn’t seem like a “mental patient” in the movies. In fact, most people around me never even had a clue. But that didn’t make it less real.

 

[Lou2U]

All of the sweetest, most caring people I know are always hurting to be honest. Quite sad

And I’m asking because someone told me it was a mortal sin but it doesn’t look that way?

I have done it in the past mostly, when things get hard. And then I recently did it again. It is not an addiction and I don’t have any mental illness, trust me. It was one of the things I did when I was angry at myself? Like how you would punish someone for doing something wrong, or slap someone if they pissed you off. So it’s not a routine thing unlike most people.

Anyway, the thing is that it always helped me to calm down and all the other “methods” people usually recommend suck anyway. It’s like they don’t understand at all

I was just wondering if this is something that means that I cannot take holy communion anymore until I confessed? I have never ever confessed it becausea I didn’t view it as a sin for almost 3 or 4 years, and so far, it seems like the church or the bible have not said anything of the sort? If it’s a mortal sin, then surely the answer would be clear, right?

I’m not really asking for advice here, just that simple question, or at least when would it be wrong?

There are better ways of coping with emotions than this. You need a healthy, productive outlet, not something that you know is wrong.

Listen to Pensmama. You can get confidentiality from your doctor. You can learn to stop punishing yourself for things, and let your anger out properly in a way that doesn’t make you harm yourself.

If you just want an answer, ask a Priest, but don’t be surprised if he tells you it’s not healthy to do it.

Lou

 

[1Lord1Faith]

I do it when I’m really really really upset with myself-for example, I relapsed recently because I was overcome with sadness that I was born a woman? (stupid. I KNOW!) Or unattractive, or if I made someone really angry at me? Or if I have done something embarrassing.

Yes, those are forms of stress. Anyway, it doesn’t really matter why someone does it. Just quit doing it. A previous poster made some good suggestions for coping with different kinds of stresses. I like walking, which is something I do several times a week.

 

[Robert_Sock]

I once thought I heard God command me to kill myself. With tears in my eyes and feeling miserable as ever, I began to dwell on how to carry out the task. Suddenly, a vivid image came to mind where I imagined that God was tearing His hair out over my ridiculous behavior. I immediately realized that God had never intended that I kill myself, but that God was merely insisting that I kill my “self.” I felt so humiliated that I lost all my pride, and much of my false sense of self soon died.

 

[Lea101]

Yes, those are forms of stress. Anyway, it doesn’t really matter why someone does it. Just quit doing it. A previous poster made some good suggestions for coping with different kinds of stresses. I like walking, which is something I do several times a week.

But is it something I need to confess? Or not take holy communion?

(That’s my only concern)

 

[pensmama87]

But is it something I need to confess? Or not take holy communion?

(That’s my only concern)

Ask a priest. We can’t tell you if you are culpable or not.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

But is it something I need to confess? Or not take holy communion?

(That’s my only concern)

My Pastor sez, " better safe than sorry" about confessing sins we are unsure are mortal sins.
I doubt yours are, because your posts seem to indicate a lack of understanding about it, so go receive communion. But, if you can, go to confession anyway. If this is something you’re having trouble with confession can help you overcome it. It really helps to talk to someone (a priest) about it.