Is sex before marriage while engaged less of a sin?

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Just a little bit of moral relativism. I fully suspect the priest felt he was doing a good thing, supporting your engagement and your continued participation in the Catholic Church.

It might even be a little true - some mortal sins are probably worse than others. Some simply require a good confession, some have some rather serious penitence - some result in excommunication (as if it being a mortal sin is not bad enough)… Ask someone who was divorced and remarried w/o annulment if they feel the church thinks that is a more serious sin and how the church deals with it…
 
chain said:
Just a little bit of moral relativism. I fully suspect the priest felt he was doing a good thing, supporting your engagement and your continued participation in the Catholic Church.

It might even be a little true - some mortal sins are probably worse than others. Some simply require a good confession, some have some rather serious penitence - some result in excommunication (as if it being a mortal sin is not bad enough)… Ask someone who was divorced and remarried w/o annulment if they feel the church thinks that is a more serious sin and how the church deals with it…
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I would think mortal sin of any type carries the same weight - they are all mortal. There is no distinction such a mortal sin of the first degree, second degree, third degree…
 
patrickconnell said:
I would think mortal sin of any type carries the same weight - they are all mortal. There is no distinction such a mortal sin of the first degree, second degree, third degree…
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Then how do you explain Jesus telling Pilate he had the lesser sin?

There are differing punishments in hell…Jesus also makes that clear.
 
AHapka said:
Then how do you explain Jesus telling Pilate he had the lesser sin?

There are differing punishments in hell…Jesus also makes that clear.
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Please give me a reference for the differing punishments in Hell. I think the fact that one is in Hell (separated from the love and presence of God) is enough. There are no distinguishing punishments - there is no greater punishment than to be separated from God for eternity.

Regarding the statement of Our Lord to Pilate. Was Pilate a practising Jew, a Pharisee, who knew the Law? I think we will agree he wasn’t.
 
I am pretty sure that the some specific sins require specific means for restoration with the church. I am not sure if the Catholicism dictates if any mortal sin has any worse punishment in hell.

That said, it is easy to image that certain sins should have a special place in hell.
 
patrickconnell said:
Please give me a reference for the differing punishments in Hell. I think the fact that one is in Hell (separated from the love and presence of God) is enough. There are no distinguishing punishments - there is no greater punishment than to be separated from God for eternity.
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Ok, from Matthew Chapter 11:

Then he began to reproach the towns where most of his mighty deeds had been done, since they had not repented. 21 “Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty deeds done in your midst had been done in Tyre and Sidon, 12 they would long ago have repented in sackcloth and ashes. 22 But I tell you, it will be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon on the day of judgment than for you. 23 And as for you, Capernaum: ‘Will you be exalted to heaven? You will go down to the netherworld.’ 13 For if the mighty deeds done in your midst had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. 24 But I tell you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom on the day of judgment than for you.”

From Luke:

47 That servant who knew his master’s will but did not make preparations nor act in accord with his will shall be beaten severely; 48 and the servant who was ignorant of his master’s will but acted in a way deserving of a severe beating shall be beaten only lightly. Much will be required of the person entrusted with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more.

2nd Peter 2:

20 For if they, having escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of (our) Lord and savior Jesus Christ, again become entangled and overcome by them, their last condition is worse than their first. 21 For it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment handed down to them. 22
 
Thanks for the references, but I still think it’s more the fact one is in Hell, than the fact that there different punishments in Hell, is what counts.
 
Stephentlig said:
Dear Forum, my fiancee was told by a priest in her parish that having sex before marriage whilst engaged it lessens the sin, because there is commitment of the two people?

THIS CAN NOT BE TRUE CAN IT!!!

cant find that anywhere in my cathechism :eek:
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That priest was very wrong. I am sorry he misguided her.
 
Until you have taken the vows and blessed by a properly ordained minister of the Catholic Church, that person is not your spouse. If you have sexual relations with anyone that isn’t your spouse, it’s grave sin.

If the priest said that, he is very misinformed, I would confirm that he said that, if he did in fact, I would send a letter to the Bishop informing him of his ill-informed priest.
 
chain said:
I am pretty sure that the some specific sins require specific means for restoration with the church. I am not sure if the Catholicism dictates if any mortal sin has any worse punishment in hell.

That said, it is easy to image that certain sins should have a special place in hell.
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The penalty of sin is not limited to the eternal pains of Hell, but there are also temporal pains which result from the specific nature of the sinful act. It damages fewer persons directly to have a sexual sin that does not involve others than a sexual sin that involves others. There is also the increased proclivity to sin - you probably remember the first time you lied or - if you were like I was at one point - had sex before marriage. You may have hated yourself, felt fearful, felt terrible. Then the justifying mechanisms kick in to save us from the emotional pain of guilt, and we start becoming less swayed by morality as we focus more on pleasure and the fact that we didn’t get caught, or that the worst that we expected didn’t happen. In other words, on the 1st sin, whatever you fear becomes “this isn’t so bad” by the 10th sin. Sin damages the individual and opens the door wider to Hell.

Fortunately we have recourse in Christ, and when we are on the wrong path we have His representatives on earth to pray for us, minister the Sacraments to us, and to admonish us not to tamper with spiritual debauchery.
 
TLM08 said:
Great question!

I would like to believe that intercourse with a fiancee a week before the wedding would be less sinful than picking up an attractive stranger for a one night stand.
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Well said. I think it’s clear that the answer is indeed that fornication when engaged is less sinful than it otherwise would be.

But it is still gravely sinful nonetheless - and would therefore be mortally sinful if done with full knowledge and full consent.

Make sense?
 
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