Is silence on the birth-control issue tantamount to condoning it?

[dad_o_six]

Until a few months ago, my family and I attended a mainline Catholic church every Sunday and holy day of obligation. Recently, my wife and the midwife have confirmed that we have a new blessing on the way. (I guess I’ll have to change my user name). Though it was not our original reason for leaving the modern church, it has become clear to me that I would absolutely dread attending a mainline Catholic church in my area.

You see, we’ve been through this before. Most of the people at church, especially the older ones (past child-bearing age), have been very pleasant. But I could not possibly tolerate the snears and jeers that many of the couples our age have given and would likely give again due to our expecting another child if we returned to the modern church. And it occurs to me that the priests, by remaining silent from the pulpit on the issue of birth control, have actually condoned the seemingly ubiquitous practice. In terms of my own behavior, following the Church’s guidelines on birth control has been the most difficult discipline in my own practice of the faith. Attending the modern church would provide no moral support for me in the area that I find very difficult.

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

"dad_o_six:

Is silence on birth-control issue tantamount to condoning it?

Not necessarily. It simply means that someone has chosen not to speak on a particular issue. Silence may not be the most prudent means of handling a controversial issue, but charity demands not condemning others as heterodox for what they have chosen not to say.

Until a few months ago, my family and I attended a mainline Catholic church every Sunday and holy day of obligation. Recently, my wife and the midwife have confirmed that we have a new blessing on the way. (I guess I’ll have to change my user name).

Congratulations!

dad_o_six:

Though it was not our original reason for leaving the modern church, it has become clear to me that I would absolutely dread attending a mainline Catholic church in my area.

What do you mean by “mainline Catholic church”? Any Catholic church that is recognized by the local Catholic bishop to be a Catholic church is a Catholic church, not a “mainline Catholic church.” And I certainly hope you do not mean to compare this church with a church run by Catholics who are not in union with the local bishop (e.g., SSPX, sedevacantists). If you wish to continue to meet your obligations as a Catholic, you must attend a church that is recognized by the local Catholic diocese to be a Catholic parish in union with the local bishop.

dad_o_six:

You see, we’ve been through this before. Most of the people at church, especially the older ones (past child-bearing age), have been very pleasant. But I could not possibly tolerate the snears and jeers that many of the couples our age have given and would likely give again due to our expecting another child if we returned to the modern church. And it occurs to me that the priests, by remaining silent from the pulpit on the issue of birth control, have actually condoned the seemingly ubiquitous practice. In terms of my own behavior, following the Church’s guidelines on birth control has been the most difficult discipline in my own practice of the faith. Attending the modern church would provide no moral support for me in the area that I find very difficult.

This is no doubt difficult, but why are you allowing other people to run you out of your parish simply because you have chosen to be open to life and are welcoming a new child to your family? Do you really want your children to see that their father and mother cannot handle bullying and peer pressure, and so run away from it? What kind of example will that be for them in dealing with any bullying and peer pressure that they might, God forbid, face in their own lives?

I can only recommend that you and your wife stand tall and proud, with dignity and grace, and refuse to allow others to get away with life-denying rudenesses. You might say to any and all such comments you receive at church, “I’m surprised and saddened to hear that from a fellow Catholic. Please excuse us now; my family likes to use this time to prepare for Mass.” Then turn away from the rude person and back to your family.