I agree so much with all of what you say. I do have one question. What about mental illness? Where does that fall into all this?
Was your husband diagnosed with this mental illness as being
chemical?
Anyway, back to the mental health issue. He suffers from depression and other mental health issues.
Is there some chemical imbalance? Perhaps dopamine, which can lead to impulsive behavior, then likely lead to addiction? Or perhaps a stress related chemical like Corticotropin or ACTH, which can increase vulnerability to temptations?
If it is chemical your husband should of course take care of it but it cannot stop there. I know you told him that he needs Jesus. I guess it’s not easy for him though because of his illness. But you know, we all have an illness. It’s called the “Adamtropin Syndrome.” It’s our weakness to temptation. We all have it.
I think the first thing your husband should do is to find out for himself what is considered a sin, the Ten Commandments & the Seven
Deadly Sins. The next step for him should be to
pray for the desire to quit all this behavior. Then your husband should go to Confession & get the grace that he needs to help him quit. He should replace his habits or behavior with something else. I also think all “occasion of sin” should be removed from the house. I know it’s easier said than done but the easiest way is to just do it cold turkey. Just don’t buy any sweets. And if that means that you also give up sweets then do it. Do it for your husband and do it for yourself and your daughter.
I hate it no matter what. I have asthma and so does our dd and he makes us cough more even though he smokes outside. The smell is on his clothes.
I used to bug my daughter’s father about his smoking. He couldn’t stand it. It just lead to him lying to me and telling me that he quit. I believe he did quit for about 3 or 4 months (maybe more but I’ll never know) but then when he started smoking again he lied about it & let me believe that he didn’t start smoking again. Then I finally told him that I knew he started smoking again.
Anyway, I knew that I could no longer bug him about it, so I left him alone about his smoking for years. Until one day my daughter told me that she could smell it when he comes home (he only smokes at work) and that it made her literally sick. She gets light headed & feels like throwing up. Even though she offers it up I could not allow him to do that to our daughter. That is when I decided to start “bugging” him again. One thing is that it bothers me & it makes me sneeze & cough, I could handle it, but another thing is when it affects my daughter. So I let him know that he is affecting his own daughter. No matter what I tell him, it doesn’t seem to help. He still smokes.

And I just end up offering it up.
Is it a sin when their mind sees it differently?
He needs to find out about the Seven Deadly Sins. I don’t know if ignorance would play a part here. I doubt it. Perhaps it’s just an excuse for him to continue his behavior.
I mean everything I see as an addiction and others too, he sees it as enjoying something. But it is in excess. … But in all these addiction, I have emphasized to him that all he needs to fill the void is Jesus. He is Catholic and I have come to believe that mentally, he sees no wrong in all these addictions. Oh, I forgot to add food. He is over 100 pounds over weigh. At times he will even make statements like, “I hope this cigarette will kill me.” Or if I say he could get a stroke, he will say, “Good, I would be the happiest man alive.” Of course, these statements are usually when we are arguing over all these addictions. I don’t bother anymore and let nature take its course. Do you see the way he thinks and it can be irrational, is it still a sin to smoke for him and others with mental illness?
Does he have any triggers? I would think so. What are those triggers? Is it stress or is it just something he does whenever or always? Perhaps those triggers can be removed. So I would try to remove the triggers & then I would definitely remove all “near occasion of sin” from the house.
By the way, Sandy, did you ever find out if Fr. Corapi said that it is sinful to smoke for my dh loves, as I do, Fr. Corapi but he listens more to him and has recorded many of his shows off of EWTN. Let me know.
Yes he did say that it is a sin. He said years ago that it would not be considered a sin because we didn’t know back then that it could kill us. But with all this evidence, we should know that it could kill & with that information we would consider it a sin. He did say that he knows about addictions and that it is hard for someone with an addiction to just quit but with God’s help they should do it. He knows about addiction because he was an addict himself so it’s not like he’s just talking nonsense, he knows very well what it’s like. You can find his
DVD here about Addictions.