Is spanking sinful?

[MikeinSD]

I think a brisk spanking is an an excellent way to start the morning. It increases the circulation. Spanking certainly drives out residual drowsiness. It quickens the senses and raises awareness. Far better than a cup of Maxwell House coffee. And I am talking about adults here.

 

[kaymart]

MikeinSD:

I think a brisk spanking is an an excellent way to start the morning. It increases the circulation. Spanking certainly drives out residual drowsiness. It quickens the senses and raises awareness. Far better than a cup of Maxwell House coffee. And I am talking about adults here.

Very good!!! I know a few who could use it

 

[MikeinSD]

Very good!!! I know a few who could use it

My sis-in-law swears by it. A few brisk swats gets my brother motivated to get up, cook breakfast, feed the kids, wash the dishes and walk the dog while she gets 40 mins of precious time to read the paper. Perhaps a few sulky husbands can benefit from some wifely discipline.

 

[Christus_Rex]

I really don’t know… beware though you mums and dads who are smacking your children… don’t go overboard…

My Dad used to hit me literally for everything up until I was about age 11. He would chase me and hit me over and over again… he never asked if I had done what he thought…most of the time I hadn’t…

In 99.9% of situations there is an alternative… USE IT! I hate my Dad for the way he treated me when I was younger, and the way he treats me now (hes a slimy, horrible man) and I know I shouldn’t but I really can’t stand him, and the OTT smacking is a major factor.

Michael

 

[Michelle_in_KC]

I agree with poster #8 about how punishment sometimes works on one child but not another. My 4 year old is all about pleasing her mom and dad…when she acts up, a lot of times, all it takes is a little, “Sarah…that is a bad choice” and she straightens right up because as she says, “Mommy…I want to make good choices!” I can already tell from the demeanor of my 2 year old that it won’t be the same. Danielle has always been more “spirited” than Sarah ever was…testing limits at a young age and louder than Sarah was as a baby and toddler. She isn’t so worried about being praised…she wants some attention!

I think it’s absolutely amazing, trying, and truly wonderful how different your children can be, but when it comes to punishment, it’s important to remember that one-size does NOT fit all.

 

[kaymart]

Michelle in KC:

I agree with poster #8 about how punishment sometimes works on one child but not another. My 4 year old is all about pleasing her mom and dad…when she acts up, a lot of times, all it takes is a little, “Sarah…that is a bad choice” and she straightens right up because as she says, “Mommy…I want to make good choices!” I can already tell from the demeanor of my 2 year old that it won’t be the same. Danielle has always been more “spirited” than Sarah ever was…testing limits at a young age and louder than Sarah was as a baby and toddler. She isn’t so worried about being praised…she wants some attention!

I think it’s absolutely amazing, trying, and truly wonderful how different your children can be, but when it comes to punishment, it’s important to remember that one-size does NOT fit all.

How true is that. When my older 2 were growing up my daughter tested her limits for curfew,(5 min-10 min) till it was 20 min. She lost privilages for 2 weeks. and started again 5 min late ect.That girl had a thick head. Needless to say 6 months in the house with no phone (we did not have computer or cell phones then) or any other contact finally cured her at 16. When #2 became a teen I thought here we go again, but my son never gave me a problem for this, in fact he would be home earlier if for example the movie got out earlier. From birth and beyond they are all individual little people. #3 is handicap so totally diffent set of issuses here.

 

[tamccrackine]

i believe in spanking when it is warrented…my 5 year old doesn’t get spankings much at all anymore because I have learned that sitting her in the corner straightens her out. Unfortunately, it’s not for 30 minutes… she has to sit there for about 5 hours. It’s the only way to get through to her fast 500 mph brain. I won’t let a doc diagnose her with ADHD, but she is hyper… so the forced having to sit still in one spot gets through to her. And she is not allowed to open her mouth (I have NO patience for whining) If someone wants to say I’m abusing my child… feel free to take her for about three weeks and see how she behaves at times. She’s a great kid, but sometimes I have to remind her she’s not the one in charge.

Now my three year old, all you have to do is say something in a firm voice and she morphes into a very obedient kid. She hates upsetting myself and my husband so the act of self humiliation (when she knows she did something wrong and she’s upset with herself) is enough to keep her from making the wrong choices. She has picked up on the cause and effect factor alot sooner than my 5 year old who has to always be reminded.

I have night and day with my kids. I have to be hard on my first one, otherwise she’ll walk all over me. My second is very easy… my third… she’s only 4 months old and already shows the same tendancies as my first. Thank God I have some experience now!

 

[Firebug]

I’m not a parent yet, but I have already decided what I think about spanking children, and I’m for it, 100%. You just have to know when to stop, before it gets out of hand. There is a difference between spanking and beating/child abuse. This also holds true for yelling at them.
If you catch your 2 year old trying to stick his fingers in the electrical outlet, I think it’d be most effective to smack him, and yell at him rather than tell him in a calm voice not to do that, because the smack and yelling scares him, he will think next time, “I remember when I tried that the last time, it hurt/scared me!”. Where as telling them not to do it may not teach him.

I was brought up this way, and I intend on bringing my own children up this way. I would be terribly angry if somebody told me that what I am doing (that would be planning on doing, huh? ) was abusive or wrong. All parents need to remember : do everything in moderation.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Even though it is well over 20 years old, I think Dare to Discipline still has one of the best examples of how to spank.

 

[momof3boys]

They have a revised edition, called “The New Dare to Discipline”.
It’s very good.

 

[spacecadet]

she has to sit there for about 5 hours

wow i taught kindergarten and i’ve never met a 5 year old that could sit in timeout for 5 hours?! dr. phil says that developmentally approproiate time outs are 1 min times the age, Ex… 4 min for a 4 year old

 

[tamccrackine]

spacecadet:

wow i taught kindergarten and i’ve never met a 5 year old that could sit in timeout for 5 hours?! dr. phil says that developmentally approproiate time outs are 1 min times the age, Ex… 4 min for a 4 year old

That doesn’t work for my child and I personally think this is one of the most ridiculous parenting techniques out there. She will just go “Ok, I can sit here for five minutes and “suck it up” for that time frame”. You ever go “I can endure this ****”, and then just go about your business? She’s smarter than most kids her age so I have to reach her on an intellectual level that you’d normally reserve for preteens… no spanking, just take away the time. And yes, when my three year old gets put into time out, it’s for a LOT longer than three minutes. If she won’t sit still during Mass, we come home and she has to sit in the corner for an hour… .the exact time she refused to sit still (Mass is an hour long). I’ve only had to do that twice, and she’s getting it.

And yes, any 5 year old can sit there for five hours when tell them they are not to open their mouth for whining unless they want hot sauce in it, and they aren’t to get up unless it’s to use the bathroom. I don’t tolerate disrespect and ignoring so my child wastes my time because I’ve told her to clean her room over and over again or do her chores over and over again (while the rest of the household is doing their chores), then I’ll waste her time. She’ll figure out sooner or later she’s part of the family and we all have to pitch in. Most of the time, after one hour, she falls asleep. She was my child that boycotted naps when she was one and I recognize when she needs sleep… this kills two birds with one stone. She recognizes she’s being punished for her actions and she also recognizes that maybe she does need a nap once in awhile. Please understand that I’ve used this discipline action only twice now and each time, she straightens out big time. Discipline, at times, is a battle of the wills and you have to have yours stronger than your childs. I just happen to have a very strong willed child so it takes more.

Please don’t think I’m angry. I just wanted to explain my stance a little better and not get someone thinking I abuse my children. What works for some, doesn’t work for others even to two different kids in the same family. I personally think it’s ridiculous for people to think that all aged children can be disciplined in the same way. Just like your assumption that because I have a five year old, she wouldn’t be able to sit still for five hours. I respect your knowledge and experience, but I stand firm on the fact that you shouldn’t compare children of one age to others the same age and expect them to be similar.
peace,
theresa

 

[leaner]

I have night and day children as well – my oldest is eager to please, and his eyes well up if he realizes he’s disappointed us…my little one…whoa nellie…I swear she THRIVES on torking us off!! LOL. I have spanked each of them ONCE. Both children gave me looks that I will never be able to forget – complete and utter horror; not “ouch!” horror, but “why would you hurt me?” horror. Betrayal, loss, whatever you want to call it, but I will never forget the look. I have worked to find different solutions since then. I didn’t rule it out after the first, esp since she is so defiant…but once I spanked her bottom (thru the diaper and everything), that look just sent a shudder thru me; “but you’re my momma, you’re not supposed to hit me” – that kind of look. I realize it works great for some, but it’s not something I can do. My kids, btw, are some of the best behaved around…I don’t take credit for it – ok, some credit, but they’re generally nice kids who act up when there’s good reason (exhuasted, etc). I can usually see it coming and head it off at the pass…quiet time, books, etc, instead of pushing them over the cliff into toddler-insanity…lol. I’m not saying I’ll never do it, but so far, it doesn’t work for us. I was raised with spankings, belts (not abusive, in my opinion) and wooden spoons, and I don’t think it damaged me or anything else…it’s just not for me. I surprised myself too – I never thought I would be a parent who doesn’t spank, but here I am. You really can’t say for sure one way or another until you’re IN the situation… I know my parents think I’m a big wussy…but that’s ok. I can deal with that. I’m really happy with how my kids are developing, and if need be, we’ll adjust accordingly. For now, we’re all doing well with our discipline techniques…(notice, I say…for now…lol! I’ve learned never to say “never” in parenting).