Is strong hatred a mortal sin?

[Eric_Hyom]

I have been building this hatred my entire life,

The people who anger you control you. It is like they have a remote control and they can make you feel and do things you don’t want to do.

How can you be the kind and caring person that you want to be with all these feelings?

 

[goout]

I have faced abuse and mistreatment my whole life; I was abused when I was younger. I was also mistreated by a lot of people because I have a disability.

As a result, I can’t trust people and I generally have a discontempt of others.

I have been building this hatred my entire life, and it came to a point where I am starting to hate every individual I meet.

Does this put me in a state of mortal sin?

Your culpability for a sin is a matter of discernment with a priest, and/or another reliable spiritual counselor.
The important thing is to deal with your hate and mistrust. And that is going to take work. Do not hesitate to see a good counselor. Don’t put it off. You will be glad you did it. Trust me on that.

 

[Sarcelle]

Anyway, too often I see “forgiveness” used as a weapon to attack and shame victims and/or to absolve the original wrongdoer of any blame.

This is a distorted use of forgiveness.

I have heard of victims of sex abuse who are forced to forgive their attackers if the attacker is a church elder or is an authority. This is just straight up spiritual abuse.

Victims should pray for healing. Forgiveness may come in time but only after healing. Forgiveness does not give the perpetrator a get out of jail free card.

 

[Lunam_Meam]

“If any man say, I love God, and hateth his brother; he is a liar. For he that loveth not his brother, whom he seeth, how can he love God, whom he seeth not?” (1 Jn. 4:20)

“A new commandment I give unto you: That you love one another, as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one for another” (Jn. 13:34-35)

“Let all bitterness, and anger, and indignation, and clamour, and blasphemy, be put away from you, with all malice. And be ye kind one to another; merciful, forgiving one another, even as God hath forgiven you in Christ.” (Eph. 4:31)

 

[BornInMarch]

“This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. 3 Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them …” (1 Samuel 15:2-3)

“This is what the Lord says: ‘About midnight I will go throughout Egypt. Every firstborn son in Egypt will die, from the firstborn son of Pharaoh, who sits on the throne, to the firstborn son of the female slave, who is at her hand mill, and all the firstborn of the cattle as well. There will be loud wailing throughout Egypt—worse than there has ever been or ever will be again.” (Exodus 11: 4-7).

See how easy it is to find bible quotes, divorce them from their context, and use them as arguing points? See how unnuanced that is?

 

[BornInMarch]

This is a distorted use of forgiveness. I have heard of victims of sex abuse who are forced to forgive their attackers if the attacker is a church elder or is an authority. This is just straight up spiritual abuse.

That is something I have heard of as well. In some cases the parish will do the elder’s dirty work and throw shame and hatred at the victim until they “forgive”. I’ve also heard of this happening in family units where a victim of sexual abuse was attacked by one of their relatives; instead of calling the police the victim’s relatives will keep it in-house and pressure the victim to forgive their attacker.

It seems to me that the people who side with the attacker in both cases do so out of a desire to “keep peace”, because pretending a problem doesn’t exist takes less effort than actually addressing it.

Victims should pray for healing. Forgiveness may come in time but only after healing. Forgiveness does not give the perpetrator a get out of jail free card.

Very well said!

I’ll also add that third parties should not use shaming or the threat of Hell to try and force someone to forgive. A victim is suffering enough, they need love and understanding. The do not need to be shamed or bullied with saccharine threats.

 

[Lunam_Meam]

See how easy it is to find bible quotes, divorce them from their context, and use them as arguing points?

That’s not what I did.

 

[BornInMarch]

That’s not what I did.

Your post is literally just three bible quotes without any accompanying context.

 

[Lunam_Meam]

Your post is literally just three bible quotes without any accompanying context.

My post is a reply to the OP, where the poster speaks of how he hates people. The verses I quoted are Jesus speaking against hating others, and commanding to love instead.

 

[Sarcelle]

I’ll also add that third parties should not use shaming or the threat of Hell to try and force someone to forgive.

I agree.

The words millstone and ocean comes to mind when third parties enable the evil to flourish.

This is why the Church is now dealing with the fallout of Bishops transferring abusive priests to other parishes instead of dealing with the problem.

 

[BornInMarch]

My post is a reply to the OP, where the poster speaks of how he hates people. The verses I quoted are Jesus speaking against hating others, and commanding to love instead.

But without elaborating context, your argument has the weakness of being easily countered with verses where God acts in a very hateful and unforgiving manner and commands His followers to do the same. There are numerous instances of God either commanding His people to kill their enemies or killing them Himself. In one instance God even punished Saul for showing mercy to the Amalekite King.

Since we are Catholics and not Marcionists, we must accept that the Son and the Father both agree with what the other did and said.

 

[Lunam_Meam]

But without elaborating context,…

No need to elaborate context.

 

[BornInMarch]

The context is clear.

No it’s not, that’s the point!

Context, also called background information, refers to what’s happening before and after a verse, who it’s said to, and when it’s said. Depending on what the context is, it can drastically change what a verse means.

“Sell everything you have and give it to the poor” (Luke 18:22). This verse, without context, can be taken as anything from an urging towards generosity to a command of communism. However when context is included - Christ was talking to a rich man who abided by the commandments but wanted to know how to be spiritually perfect - the meaning becomes a little clearer.

Or here’s another one. “The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son.” (Ezekiel 18:20). When I first read that I thought for sure it was just a condemnation of the idea of hereditary punishment. But then when I dug into the context - this book was written when the Israelites were in exile - it was just as much a warning against blaming one’s parents when one is punished for wrongful acts.

If you were to include context, then you would have done something similar. Instead you just quotes a verse in isolate and assumed everyone would take the same meaning you took.

Moreover, since you don’t include context/background information, you lack a counter when others point out verses in which God seems to command the opposite.

 

[Lunam_Meam]

Lunam_Meam:

BornInMarch:

But without elaborating context,…

No need to elaborate context.

…you just quoted a verse in isolate and assumed everyone would take the same meaning you took.

What other meaning(s) can one get from 1 Jn. 4:20, Mat. 22:39, and Rom. 13:18 besides don’t hate your neighbor if you love God, to love your neighbor is the second greatest commandment, and fulfilling the law?

 

[pulchraesamicamea]

I made this post to get the help I need for this sin, not for other people to argue over it.

I still care about other people and I wish them the very best. It’s more like the feeling of “wait, can that person be trusted?”

I don’t voluntarily want to seek out hatred.

I kindly ask @camoderator to lock this.

I feel like a horrible person now because I created an argument.

 

[Lunam_Meam]

I made this post to get the help I need for this sin, not for other people to argue over it.

I still care about other people and I wish them the very best. It’s more like the feeling of “wait, can that person be trusted?”

I don’t voluntarily want to seek out hatred.

I kindly ask @camoderator to lock this.

I feel like a horrible person now because I created an argument.

You’re not a horrible person! Your a good person who is conscious of your thoughts and actions. Whenever non-charitable thoughts and actions arise, or feelings of doubt, including in me, we need to turn to God, and remember He’s the one we can always trust, and that charity covers a multitude of sins (1 Pet. 4:8).

And, any argument I got into wasn’t caused by you.

 

[pulchraesamicamea]

I’m just trying to change my hatred into something God wants. I know that God doesn’t want me to be hung up on the pain that other people have caused. There are frankly a lot of people who were abused as a child, and who are working towards forgiving their abusers. I just don’t think I am there yet. I’m working on it.

Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. I’ll continue to be charitable.

 

[Lunam_Meam]

I’m just trying to change my hatred into something God wants. I know that God doesn’t want me to be hung up on the pain that other people have caused. There are frankly a lot of people who were abused as a child, and who are working towards forgiving their abusers. I just don’t think I am there yet. I’m working on it.

As we know, there’s evil in this world, and souls who sin against themselves, and others. It saddens and angers me you’ve been violated, especially in ways you couldn’t control. However, most importantly, you have the power to not let them violate your soul by letting go of any anger, hate, fear, despair, and/or doubt, and so on. I know it’s a struggle because my sister was abused as a child. She’s 31 and still struggles. Like you, she knows what she should do, wants to do it, and does what she can, but God understands not every soul recovers instantaneously from its wounds. Some do so by successive stages, which are often slow, and subject to relapse. I commend you on your will to trust in God, and His ways, and the effort you make each day.

"See not the small trials and vexations of each hour of the day. See the one purpose and plan to which all are leading. If in climbing a mountain you keep your eyes on each stony or difficult place, as you ascend, seeing only that, how weary and profitless your climb.

But, if you think of each step as leading to the summit of achievement, from which glories and beauties will open out before you, then your climb will be so different.

You must be as one who runs the race, stumbles and falls, rises and presses on to the goal. What avails it if he stays to examine the spot where he fell, to weep over the delay, over the shortsightedness that prevented his avoiding the obstacles? No looking back. Give yourself and all you have ever met a fresh start from today. Remember no more their sins and failures, or your own."

God loves you, and hears your cries, even when it seems like He doesn’t. He’s your strength when your weak, your friend when you’re lonely, and your doctor when in need of healing. I’ll be praying you feel more peace, joy, and love.

 

[ChocolateCake]

I can see where you’re coming from as I too have experienced nasty people throughout my life. It’s not as bad as your situation but it was bad enough that I too can hate humans. There are exceptions of course but it’s rare.

However I’m not religious so I don’t worry it’s a mortal sin or not and I don’t hate every individual like you do…unless I have a good reason to.

I learned hating people is a huge waste of time and energy. Instead of hating, try being indifferent.

 

[Servant31]

Please don’t feel like a horrible person. Your not responsible at all for how others behave. That’s on them. Arguments on this forum are basically every third thread sadly.

I’m no psychologist but I had a few challenges during my upbringing, and to this day still sometimes have trouble trusting. Unfortunately this world doesn’t do well with anyone or anything different from the norm. Some feel threatened, others feel burdened by others. I’m guessing that in time you can grow to heal. But feeling emotions isn’t a problem, please do take care of yourself emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.

If I could make a recommendation? It could be helpful to deal with these things with a counselor, someone who might be able to help you address it in a safe environment. This way you could grow and fully one day see things from a new perspective.

I’m sorry for the difficulties you’ve faced, those can be hard sometimes. But God very much loves you, and your an important part of the faith community. I’ll say few prayers for you, pm me if I can help with anything.