Is telling a "fib" a sin?

[jrabs]

JCPhoenix:

A wise priest once admonished my class to “define our terms” when speaking. I feel a definition in the context here has been somewhat defined, but not entirely.

A lie is an untruth, and defined by Natural Law ethics, a Lie is information either withheld or contradicted to a person who has a right to that knowledge.

So a lie can be an omission (ie sins of omission–related topic) or a direct contradiction to the truth.

I completely agree about lies from ommission. This can be very harmful since the person who has mastered this technique believes that this is actually an honest approach. I was in a relationship with someone who believed he could only be accused of lying by spoken word. If he was silent about certain things, then no lie.

See - that’s where the enemy helps cloud sin and makes sin look harmless. A dangerous trap.

 

[SeekerJen]

Deacon Tony560:

Sorry that nobody mentioned “Moral Reservation.” If someone were trying to kill your friend and he was in the next room, it is not a sin or lie to tell the potential killer that you don’t know where your friend is. In other words, as far as this killer is concerned, you don’t know.

Other cases may involve simple thigs such as courtesy. You sample some special treat that a neighbor made. You say, “Not too bad.” Actually it is “Yuk!” You are not compelled to hurt their feelings.

Exactly the type of examples I was thinking of when I voted “Depends on the situation.”

Last week I was feeling rather ill and opted to stay home and take a nap when our neighbor invited us over for dinner. My husband went, and she sent him home with a dish for me to heat up when I was feeling better. I tried it and couldn’t even eat it because it was so salty- she’s pregnant and her sense of taste is a little off. Next day she asked me if the food was okay. I quickly responded, “Oh gosh, that was so nice of you to do that! You didn’t have to.” Like I said, she’s pregnant and really hormonal, so I didn’t want to hurt her feelings and start her off in tears.

 

[otm]

SeekerJen:

I quickly responded, “Oh gosh, that was so nice of you to do that! You didn’t have to.” Like I said, she’s pregnant and really hormonal, so I didn’t want to hurt her feelings and start her off in tears.

This is neither a direct lie (saying it was good when it was bad), nor a lie of omission (failing to tell something, the information of which was needed). It was a misdirection; you didn’t respond to her question at all, but effectively changed the subject (subject: food was good/bad; new subject: the act of sending it was generous).

Some people can’t distinguish between the two.

The most misunderstood part of the moral issue of a lie is the last part: right to knowledge. If there is no right to the knowledge being sought, there is no moral duty to reveal the information.

One also needs to distinguish between the actual words used in the question, and the information sought. The woman who asks the question about being too fat is most often not asking about fat; she is asking about acceptance. Those are not the same thing; in fact it could be argued that answering the literal question is an act of intentional harm to the questioner (“you look like a blimp”; odds are she has a scale and a fairly accurate idea of what a reasonable weight would be compared to her actual weight).

Common sense in dealing with questions goes along way. The only problem with common sense is that it is not common…

 

[otm]

JCPhoenix:

A wise priest once admonished my class to “define our terms” when speaking.

Was he a Jesuit? My physics teacher in high school was a classic Jesuit, and that was one of his all-time favorite responses to our (dumb) questions and (dumb) statements.

And it is truly amazing, when people are challenged with that, how many can’t. So much sloppy thinking…

Good post!

 

[burnside]

Melissa:

I’d voted the ‘depends on the situation’ because honestly, the line between moral reservation and fibbing seems very thin at times.

So did i.You won’t catch me telling a 5 year old that a task he/she took pains to achieve was really not very good at all.I won’t over-enthuse,but i won’t crush them either.So long as lying doesn’t become a habit and you end up having to tell another lie
to cover up the previous one.A now deceased uncle of a young boy was very disappointed when he learned that someone was not exactly honest with him.However,the boy was a good singer
and,when the guests at a wedding anniversary party were calling for an encore,the uncle described his nephew as “not bad”.To his credit,the uncle redeemed himself later.Possibly it was jealousy that his children were not good singers.Even if he sincerely felt that his nephew was not as good as the other guests seemed to think,would it have hurt to boost the low in
confidence boy with a little fib that he thought he had at least done well rather than “not bad”?I wonder if those who prefer total honesty would tell their wife or mother that she looked a disaster
in the new outfit she had just purchased.My mother was very unhappy when i told her i didn’t like a new hat she had purchased.Mind you,i think she was probably more concerned about what it had cost her and here was i telling her i didn’t like it
We didn’t have much money.Many years after her death i still wish i had told a fib.Someone once said “Time Heals”.I don’t think so.I just got USED to my parents no longer being around.