Is the marriage invalid or valid?

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There are definitely grounds. Whether or not she wants to pursue it is entirely up to her, not strangers on internet who aren’t her but who somehow think it’s entirely appropriate to judge her

I can’t believe that we are even having a conversation on whether or not it’s okay for someone to do something that is probably extremely painful for them to do and no one here even knows this woman besides OP
 
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BUT Christ says we shouldn’t judge others lest we be judged and you are calling her hard hearted. You should be ashamed of yourself, instead your response to me when I called you out on this was:
rcwitness said:
If it walks like a duck…
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Please stop.
 
I have various thoughts on the matter, but as the wife isn’t here asking me for advice on whether she should separate or not, and as it is a separate question which we have insufficient info on anyway, I’ll just refrain.
 
St Rita pray for us. She knew hardship. And most Catholics would advise her to leave. She chose to reconcile everyone.
 
Not all of us can respond in the same way as the saints and not all of us should. You don’t know the circumstances of this particular case. Sometimes leaving is better than staying.

PLEASE STOP
 
rcwitness said:
To me (those who wish to appeal and rely on a tribunals judgment aside) having bisexual attractions (without ever acting on the homosexual attractions) would not be a reason to seek an annulment. It’s not a sin to have ssa. Acting on those attractions is sinful, and therefore reason to seek an annulment.

Especially in light of seeking pastoral advice, this should be reason not to assume deceit.

Though I also agree he should have expressed this to his wife.
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It’s not a sin to intend never to have children (even when one may be well able to have and support them) - for an unmarried person, and as a general rule. However it IS wrong to enter into marriage feeling that way, and undisputably cause for annulment if the attitude is present at the time of marriage.

The rules don’t always apply the same to singles as to marrieds or those intending to marry.
 
It seems to me like the original question has been sufficiently answered. Thinking about whether there should be separation is just leaving a bitter taste in my mouth and something we are lacking details on anyway. This is best lest to the wife and husband to discuss seriously with their pastor.
 
that pastor didn’t advise for the marriage to be entered into invalidly, the pastor may not have known it was a dealbreaker for the fiancé
 
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The “pastoral advice” was to be deceptive.

Which brings up two questions: 1) did he specifically ask the spiritual director if he should tell her? If so, why was he asking, if not because he had reason to think it was a deal killer? Why else would he ask if he had to tell?
  1. assuming that he did not ask that but the spiritual director told him not to tell, why would the spiritual director tell him that - unless the spiritual director had reason to think it was a deal killer?
And what kind of desire for a woman does a man who has SSA have for her? If he is bi-sexual (which has not been stated, but is a possibility), what does that really look like? What is going through his head as they engage in the marital embrace? What kind of warmth and emotion does he have for her when they do?

And if he is not be-sexual - what desire does he have for the marital embrace, other than to prevent a blowup because he does not desire her? and granted some people are naive, what does a woman do when she finds he has no sexual interest in her? Now she is living, effectively, with a eunuch… that must just be fantastically emotionally warm and inspiring…

It is easy to say “I would do this or not do that” when one does not live in an emotional void. And then, finding out why there is an emotional void “Well, actually, I am sexually attracted to men”…

And back we go to why either he asked the spiritual director if he could just keep this silent, or the spiritual director … you get the drill.

the farther we go into this question, the more likely it appears that both he and his spiritual director (or at least one of them) had a pretty good idea that revealing this little peccadillo was fraught with her reaction of “I am so out of here!”. All of which goes directly to the issue of Father David’s canonical citation.
 
It doesn’t matter. I’m hearing that this is grave matter which must be disclosed so that knowledge is present in order to give proper consent.

No, I’m sure this woman doesn’t want priestly advice after this ordeal.
 
So if the spiritual director though it would not be a deal breaker, then why would he advice remaining silent? that makes no sense…
 
There was a thread a few days ago about a woman who had a same sex experience and confessed it to her priest in confession and she asked if she ought to tell her fiancé. most people said no, she didn’t have to. and we don’t have to tell our future spouses everything we did in our past before we marry. maybe he confessed it and the spiritual director told him that he confessed it to God, he didn’t necessarily have to confess it to anyone else.
 
you don’t even know the woman so stop making assumptions on what she may or may not want.
 
I agree with all of that.

I am assuming he is bisexual. Maybe that is wrong, but that’s where my defense of staying with the marriage comes from.

The confessor and SP may have had a good sense that he really was attracted to his fiance, wanted to be with her, and had intentions to never be with another woman or man.

In that case, I don’t see the issue of bisexual attractions harmful at all.

If this woman absolutely cannot bear being with a man who merely has ssa (even though it be bisexual attractions) to the degree of a deal breaker, then so be it. File divorce, seek an annulment, and experience the separation of the family for what she must do.

I would have much greater pity on the husband and children, without a doubt. But sure, she is entitled.
 
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