Is there a need to confess this?

[Lillith]

My husband and I got into an argument last week, and both said things in the heat of it that was harsh (but true) and hurtful

We apologized…kissed…made up…but I am wondering…should we confess intensely angry feelings…or just let them fly as part of being human.

If we have angry thoughts out of passion, which pass quickly and are untrue…wouldn’t that be venial?

I was really angry…I wanted to poke his eyes with a stick

 

[quasimodo]

Yes (probably), because the anger coupled with the way it was expressed (might) indicate something not right in the soul. Sin twists us spiritually. Confession can help you get it straight. You will know it is fixed when you don’t react that way the next time and you are not even temped to (maybe).

I could be wrong

 

[Lillith]

Yes (probably), because the anger coupled with the way it was expressed (might) indicate something not right in the soul. Sin twists us spiritually. Confession can help you get it straight. You will know it is fixed when you don’t react that way the next time and you are not even temped to (maybe).

I could be wrong

Oh…but I think you could be right:thumbsup:

 

[Pug]

I was really angry…I wanted to poke his eyes with a stick

What was it about that particular day? Is there something brewing in your mind that caused you to be so very angry? Maybe there is something trying to get your attention?

 

[Lillith]

What was it about that particular day? Is there something brewing in your mind that caused you to be so very angry? Maybe there is something trying to get your attention?

Yes…brewing for over a year…here it is in short. A year ago we paid off our mini-van, and I was so excited…we could store/save money!! We also got rid of all credit card debt. I am thinking save…save…save…but every month my husband is spending the difference

This last week he wanted to go to a concert and invited friends to come along…he put it all on our credit card. I got the tickets and the bill in the mail…I was upset. suddenly there was $900.00 on a card that I had just cleaned up(between the concert and his other spending)! He explained that he wanted us all to sit together, and that they would pay us for the tickets when we got together that night. No payments came that night. He had arranged for us to go to another concert…they would put it on their card…payback. He didn’t tell me this was the way it would work

That didn’t help our bank account…I deplore credit cards. I cannot get him on track with me…we have a 16yr. old attending college soon and I am anxious about money.

It was a build up definately. Because he makes most of our income during the argument he said he can do whatever he wants…Grrrrrrrrr I said a few dirty words after that.

 

[kevathaide01]

I believe so. Anger is a problem I have constantly faced. Do confess it; it makes it all better.

 

[Magicsilence]

Yes…brewing for over a year…here it is in short. A year ago we paid off our mini-van, and I was so excited…we could store/save money!! We also got rid of all credit card debt. I am thinking save…save…save…but every month my husband is spending the difference

This last week he wanted to go to a concert and invited friends to come along…he put it all on our credit card. I got the tickets and the bill in the mail…I was upset. suddenly there was $900.00 on a card that I had just cleaned up(between the concert and his other spending)! He explained that he wanted us all to sit together, and that they would pay us for the tickets when we got together that night. No payments came that night. He had arranged for us to go to another concert…they would put it on their card…payback. He didn’t tell me this was the way it would work

That didn’t help our bank account…I deplore credit cards. I cannot get him on track with me…we have a 16yr. old attending college soon and I am anxious about money.

It was a build up definately. Because he makes most of our income during the argument he said he can do whatever he wants…Grrrrrrrrr I said a few dirty words after that.

Oh Lord.

This is exactly the same as my parents, except its my mom who spends everything!

It drives my dad nutty, and he flips and then they don’t talk for a month!

Yes, I would go to confession, especially if you swore.

But I would also sit down and talk to your hubby, these things never get solved by huge arguments once in a while.

Peace and God Bless.

 

[JimG]

No need to confess angry feelings. Only deliberate hurtful actions.

 

[quasimodo]

No need to confess angry feelings. Only deliberate hurtful actions.

does scripture agree with this? I suppose we can differentiate between angry feelings that come and go & those which we dwell upon and nurture and perhaps enjoy.

 

[MariaG]

does scripture agree with this? I suppose we can differentiate between angry feelings that come and go & those which we dwell upon and nurture and perhaps enjoy.

I was looking for scripture on this. Isn’t there something somewhere that tells us when we Hate in our thoughts it is as bad as striking out?

Looked but could not find what I was thinking of.

 

[JimG]

Hate is an act of the will, a decision to wish harm on others. Feelings are emotions, not sinful in themselves; however, if we choose to deliberately nurture angry feelings, that decision is in itself a hurtful action.

 

[MariaG]

Hate is an act of the will, a decision to wish harm on others. Feelings are emotions, not sinful in themselves; however, if we choose to deliberately nurture angry feelings, that decision is in itself a hurtful action.

Thanks for clarifying that. Now if I could just find that darn scripture verse I was looking for

God Bless,
Maria

 

[Pug]

Now if I could just find that darn scripture verse I was looking for

I’m not sure, are you looking for this?

20 "For I say to you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.
21 "You have heard that the ancients were told, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT MURDER ’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’
22 "But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.

 

[Lillith]

Now I’ll be going to confession pronto…I’m fairly certain I said all of these (in some form or another)

But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, 'You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, 'You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.

I didn’t really mean it…I was just really angry

 

[MariaG]

I’m not sure, are you looking for this?

Thanks! That is exactly the scripture I was looking for!

Mat 5
20 "For I say to you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.
21 "You have heard that the ancients were told, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT MURDER ’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’
22 "But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.

I couldn’t remember exactly what it said but the idea of hatred being the same as murder was my primary thought.
God Bless,
Maria

 

[LilyM]

Confession … it isn’t just for mortal sins anymore!

If you’ve done anything that’s worrying you, confess it. The graces you receive from so doing may just save you, in the future if not now!

 

[Pug]

I didn’t really mean it…I was just really angry

Oh, Lillith, I knew I should have answered your post to me before finding the bible verse, but it was easier to find a verse than to come up with the best response for you! It’s OK!

I totally see how that build up went for you with the money and the concert and worrying about college money. I hope you two can talk together and get on the same page about not having lots of credit card debt.

You know, you said:

I cannot get him on track with me…we have a 16yr. old attending college soon and I am anxious about money.

Something tells me that this statement matters. It reminds me of when I’ve felt like there are important things to do for our marriage and my husband just doesn’t care and I can’t make him care and I get so frustrated!

Anyway, as you can see I still don’t have a good answer for your post. Now that this worry or concern has come to light, what do YOU personally need to do about it?

 

[Lillith]

Oh, Lillith, I knew I should have answered your post to me before finding the bible verse, but it was easier to find a verse than to come up with the best response for you! It’s OK!

I totally see how that build up went for you with the money and the concert and worrying about college money. I hope you two can talk together and get on the same page about not having lots of credit card debt.

You know, you said:

Something tells me that this statement matters. It reminds me of when I’ve felt like there are important things to do for our marriage and my husband just doesn’t care and I can’t make him care and I get so frustrated!

Anyway, as you can see I still don’t have a good answer for your post. Now that this worry or concern has come to light, what do YOU personally need to do about it?

Not to fret. I am going to confess it, because anger needs to be confessed, but I don’t feel urgency honestly. I forgave DH the next morning…we did talk it out, and I think what I do is bottle things up. I withheld how his spending was affecting me until I exploded over the card incident. I never really gave any warning. My fault.

The only thing that irks me is I just went to confession the day before this silly fight…

 

[LilyM]

The only thing that irks me is I just went to confession the day before this silly fight…

I’ve been there a few times, and if I’m brutally honest sometimes the biggest thing stopping me from committing a sin is that it’s only been a little while since my last confession.

 

[anonon]

Confess your sins anonymously, online at iconfessmyself.blogspot.com