Is there any point in me becoming a Catholic?

[tapiocapudding]

I would really like to convert to the Catholic faith (I am an Anglican) because it seems to me to be more true to the original intention of Christianity. But I have some roadblocks. The biggest one is my marriage. I’m married to a wonderful man who I adore with all my heart. He is giving and loving and treats me like a princess. I can’t imagine finding anyone in this world I was meant to be with more. But, he is a pagan. And if I become Catholic, I think that’s a problem. We’re expecting a baby in 5 weeks and we are so thrilled. He agrees I can baptise the child and teach him whatever beliefs I see fit but also insists that he’s allowed to educate the child in his beliefs too. I think this is a very reasonable, fair request. However, Catholics tell me that I would be sinning terribly by allowing my children to be exposed to the Occult (please note my husband does not worship demons or commune with the devil or anything crazy like that. He prays to a goddess. He does simple prayer rituals. I think God knows my husband is trying to love Him in his own way even if he has got the wrong idea). I know the Catholic faith insists I make every effort to raise my children with only one religion. I don’t know how I could honestly do that. I would certainly make every attempt to raise them Catholic, but I can’t insist my husband has no say, he would not accept that.

Anyhow, other problems I might have are that my family certainly wouldn’t approve (they’re a bunch of lapsed Christians and spiritual agnostics). That I’m expecting a baby in 5 weeks and don’t know how well I could attend RCIA. Also, I’d like to baptise the child sooner rather than later… But all those can be overcome. I can’t help but think that Catholics would look down on me for life because of what my husband believes! Heck, I was told by one friend I should divorce my husband and seek an anullment. I could never do that! I adore him and he is truly a wonderful guy. I’m beginning to wonder if I should just stay an Anglican.

Any advice??

 

[joeybaggz]

I think you really need to talk to a priest. And one with a lot of experience.

Good luck

 

[guanophore]

I would really like to convert to the Catholic faith (I am an Anglican) because it seems to me to be more true to the original intention of Christianity. But I have some roadblocks. The biggest one is my marriage. I’m married to a wonderful man who I adore with all my heart. He is giving and loving and treats me like a princess. I can’t imagine finding anyone in this world I was meant to be with more. But, he is a pagan. And if I become Catholic, I think that’s a problem. We’re expecting a baby in 5 weeks and we are so thrilled. He agrees I can baptise the child and teach him whatever beliefs I see fit but also insists that he’s allowed to educate the child in his beliefs too. I think this is a very reasonable, fair request. However, Catholics tell me that I would be sinning terribly by allowing my children to be exposed to the Occult (please note my husband does not worship demons or commune with the devil or anything crazy like that. He prays to a goddess. He does simple prayer rituals. I think God knows my husband is trying to love Him in his own way even if he has got the wrong idea). I know the Catholic faith insists I make every effort to raise my children with only one religion. I don’t know how I could honestly do that. I would certainly make every attempt to raise them Catholic, but I can’t insist my husband has no say, he would not accept that.

Anyhow, other problems I might have are that my family certainly wouldn’t approve (they’re a bunch of lapsed Christians and spiritual agnostics). That I’m expecting a baby in 5 weeks and don’t know how well I could attend RCIA. Also, I’d like to baptise the child sooner rather than later… But all those can be overcome. I can’t help but think that Catholics would look down on me for life because of what my husband believes! Heck, I was told by one friend I should divorce my husband and seek an anullment. I could never do that! I adore him and he is truly a wonderful guy. I’m beginning to wonder if I should just stay an Anglican.

Any advice??

Have your baby baptized in the Anglican Church, while you sort it all out.

 

[NewUlm1976_2000]

You can still come Catholic, there are many parishes and people in them who would embrace you and not judge you. The ratio of judgmental Catholics in the real world is much lower than here at CAF.

Having a “pagan” husband is not a hurdle to a loving family, as you said he already gave support to choose one faith and go with it.

RCIA usually starts in the fall, so you have a few months in the NH (Sept), and wait until next year for the SH. By that time the baby will be old enough to spend time with your husband or a babysitter for one evening a week at RCIA.

Your child would actually get a blend of yours and his beliefs, many which overlap and would actually enhance each other. The Catholic Church does not have a monopoly on morals.

Look for the closest parish that you feel comfortable in and start to get a feel for it to see if it is right for you.

 

[mlchance]

He agrees I can baptise the child and teach him whatever beliefs I see fit but also insists that he’s allowed to educate the child in his beliefs too. I think this is a very reasonable, fair request.

Not really. If at any time his beliefs contradict the Church, he is in error. If he teaches someone else those beliefs, he is teaching error.

However, Catholics tell me that I would be sinning terribly by allowing my children to be exposed to the Occult (please note my husband does not worship demons or commune with the devil or anything crazy like that. He prays to a goddess…

He prays to a false goddess. There’s a commandment against that.

Any advice??

By all means become Catholic, but realize that means putting God and Church ahead of everything and everyone that stands between you and what is right. If that means alienating your family and even your husband, then that is part of the suffering you will have to willingly bear with the help of God’s grace.

Christ himself said he came not to bring peace, but a sword. Your situation seems precisely what he was warning the faithful about.

– Mark L. Chance.

 

[DebChris]

Keep in mind that the earliest Christians were often married to pagans. “How do you know, wife, that you will not save your husband?” Paul addressed these words to those married to unbelieving spouses.
I liked the reaction of my parents when my brother chose to marry a Buddhist. “She has the conviction of her faith.” She refused to convert to please him. She is now a devout Catholic.

 

[Contarini]

I would really like to convert to the Catholic faith (I am an Anglican) because it seems to me to be more true to the original intention of Christianity. But I have some roadblocks. The biggest one is my marriage. I’m married to a wonderful man who I adore with all my heart. He is giving and loving and treats me like a princess. I can’t imagine finding anyone in this world I was meant to be with more. But, he is a pagan. And if I become Catholic, I think that’s a problem. We’re expecting a baby in 5 weeks and we are so thrilled. He agrees I can baptise the child and teach him whatever beliefs I see fit but also insists that he’s allowed to educate the child in his beliefs too. I think this is a very reasonable, fair request. However, Catholics tell me that I would be sinning terribly by allowing my children to be exposed to the Occult (please note my husband does not worship demons or commune with the devil or anything crazy like that. He prays to a goddess. He does simple prayer rituals. I think God knows my husband is trying to love Him in his own way even if he has got the wrong idea). I know the Catholic faith insists I make every effort to raise my children with only one religion. I don’t know how I could honestly do that. I would certainly make every attempt to raise them Catholic, but I can’t insist my husband has no say, he would not accept that.

Anyhow, other problems I might have are that my family certainly wouldn’t approve (they’re a bunch of lapsed Christians and spiritual agnostics). That I’m expecting a baby in 5 weeks and don’t know how well I could attend RCIA. Also, I’d like to baptise the child sooner rather than later… But all those can be overcome. I can’t help but think that Catholics would look down on me for life because of what my husband believes! Heck, I was told by one friend I should divorce my husband and seek an anullment. I could never do that! I adore him and he is truly a wonderful guy. I’m beginning to wonder if I should just stay an Anglican.

Any advice??

Are the Catholics who are telling you these things about your husband qualified to express an opinion on this subject? Have you talked to a priest? Have you talked to Catholics who actually know something about neopaganism? Ideally you should talk to a priest who is informed on the subject.

There are Anglicans who have as negative an attitude to neopaganism as any Catholic. It all depends on whom you ask. But certainly we are a looser and more “tolerant” tradition (in the modern sense), for good and ill!

Edwin

 

[tr1954]

I would really like to convert to the Catholic faith (I am an Anglican) because it seems to me to be more true to the original intention of Christianity. But I have some roadblocks. The biggest one is my marriage. I’m married to a wonderful man who I adore with all my heart. He is giving and loving and treats me like a princess. I can’t imagine finding anyone in this world I was meant to be with more. But, he is a pagan. And if I become Catholic, I think that’s a problem. We’re expecting a baby in 5 weeks and we are so thrilled. He agrees I can baptise the child and teach him whatever beliefs I see fit but also insists that he’s allowed to educate the child in his beliefs too. I think this is a very reasonable, fair request. However, Catholics tell me that I would be sinning terribly by allowing my children to be exposed to the Occult (please note my husband does not worship demons or commune with the devil or anything crazy like that. He prays to a goddess. He does simple prayer rituals. I think God knows my husband is trying to love Him in his own way even if he has got the wrong idea). I know the Catholic faith insists I make every effort to raise my children with only one religion. I don’t know how I could honestly do that. I would certainly make every attempt to raise them Catholic, but I can’t insist my husband has no say, he would not accept that.

Anyhow, other problems I might have are that my family certainly wouldn’t approve (they’re a bunch of lapsed Christians and spiritual agnostics). That I’m expecting a baby in 5 weeks and don’t know how well I could attend RCIA. Also, I’d like to baptise the child sooner rather than later… But all those can be overcome. I can’t help but think that Catholics would look down on me for life because of what my husband believes! Heck, I was told by one friend I should divorce my husband and seek an anullment. I could never do that! I adore him and he is truly a wonderful guy. I’m beginning to wonder if I should just stay an Anglican.

Any advice??

1. LEAD BY EXAMPLE!

You’re talking to a man, who once just like your husband was an unbeliever. Worse yet…I came from a background (friends, not family) where cursing God was the virtue…not praying to Him! Yet my wife a Catholic from birth, put up with all my stupidity in the name of love. Yes, I loved my wife dearly, and I couldn’t care less about what she believed…for me the love in my heart for her was the main factor early in my marriage…She did diligently everything a good wife does, by praying to God for me. Eventually God did listen to her prayers, and now I’m a convert to Catholicism. It was a long road, but I’m the first to admit that I feel home here as a Catholic believer, and I wouldn’t change this for anything else!

Let me make a prediction…if he loves you as you described…I would expect him to convert in about 5-8 years…it took me about 12 years, but then, I was lower on the scale of salvation than your husband is now…remember, God is the one who changes hearts… not men.

 

[qui_est_ce]

Have your baby baptized in the Anglican Church, while you sort it all out.

Good advice, all baptisms in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are recognized by the Catholic Church.

Keep in mind that the earliest Christians were often married to pagans. “How do you know, wife, that you will not save your husband?” Paul addressed these words to those married to unbelieving spouses.

St Monica, mother of St. Augstine was married to a pagan.

I liked the reaction of my parents when my brother chose to marry a Buddhist. “She has the conviction of her faith.” She refused to convert to please him. She is now a devout Catholic.

Good one!

Not really. If at any time his beliefs contradict the Church, he is in error. If he teaches someone else those beliefs, he is teaching error.

He prays to a false goddess. There’s a commandment against that.

By all means become Catholic, but realize that means putting God and Church ahead of everything and everyone that stands between you and what is right. If that means alienating your family and even your husband, then that is part of the suffering you will have to willingly bear with the help of God’s grace.

Christ himself said he came not to bring peace, but a sword. Your situation seems precisely what he was warning the faithful about.

– Mark L. Chance.

Wow :ehh:

Gee, I was married to a Catholic. Leaving him because he was such a jerk was the hardest thing I ever had to do. It was heart wrenching for my children too. I guess I should have put up with all the strife and abuse in the name of Christ.

Tapiocapudding, you are truly blessed to have such wonderful husband and family. You sound like a wonderful person yourself. Continue to pray to St. Monica for dh’s conversion, St. Joseph for your family, and then let the Holy Spirit do his work. When I finally figured out how to do that and then LET GO and stop getting in God’s way, miracles started happening in my family life. And they are continuing

 

[qui_est_ce]

1. LEAD BY EXAMPLE!

You’re talking to a man, who once just like your husband was an unbeliever. Worse yet…I came from a background (friends, not family) where cursing God was the virtue…not praying to Him! Yet my wife a Catholic from birth, put up with all my stupidity in the name of love. Yes, I loved my wife dearly, and I couldn’t care less about what she believed…for me the love in my heart for her was the main factor early in my marriage…She did diligently everything a good wife does, by praying to God for me. Eventually God did listen to her prayers, and now I’m a convert to Catholicism. It was a long road, but I’m the first to admit that I feel home here as a Catholic believer, and I wouldn’t change this for anything else!

Let me make a prediction…if he loves you as you described…I would expect him to convert in about 5-8 years…it took me about 12 years, but then, I was lower on the scale of salvation than your husband is now…remember, God is the one who changes hearts… not men.

God bless you!

 

[DL82]

I would really like to convert to the Catholic faith (I am an Anglican) because it seems to me to be more true to the original intention of Christianity. But I have some roadblocks. The biggest one is my marriage. I’m married to a wonderful man who I adore with all my heart. He is giving and loving and treats me like a princess. I can’t imagine finding anyone in this world I was meant to be with more. But, he is a pagan. And if I become Catholic, I think that’s a problem. We’re expecting a baby in 5 weeks and we are so thrilled. He agrees I can baptise the child and teach him whatever beliefs I see fit but also insists that he’s allowed to educate the child in his beliefs too. I think this is a very reasonable, fair request. However, Catholics tell me that I would be sinning terribly by allowing my children to be exposed to the Occult (please note my husband does not worship demons or commune with the devil or anything crazy like that. He prays to a goddess. He does simple prayer rituals. I think God knows my husband is trying to love Him in his own way even if he has got the wrong idea). I know the Catholic faith insists I make every effort to raise my children with only one religion. I don’t know how I could honestly do that. I would certainly make every attempt to raise them Catholic, but I can’t insist my husband has no say, he would not accept that.

Anyhow, other problems I might have are that my family certainly wouldn’t approve (they’re a bunch of lapsed Christians and spiritual agnostics). That I’m expecting a baby in 5 weeks and don’t know how well I could attend RCIA. Also, I’d like to baptise the child sooner rather than later… But all those can be overcome. I can’t help but think that Catholics would look down on me for life because of what my husband believes! Heck, I was told by one friend I should divorce my husband and seek an anullment. I could never do that! I adore him and he is truly a wonderful guy. I’m beginning to wonder if I should just stay an Anglican.

Any advice??

When I met my fiancee, I was Anglican and she was Pagan. We also both came from atheist/agnostic homes. After a while, she agreed to read the Bible, just to try to understand where I was coming from. Out of that, she decided to become Catholic, and I, who was probably going that way anyhow, decided to follow. We’re no longer together, but we are both in the Body of Christ, which is more important by far!

All I’d say is, follow your convictions, become Catholic, it’s the better way to be a faithful witness to your partner, better than compromising your faith. And keep praying for your husband and your child! God bless you.

 

[rick43235]

The ratio of judgmental Catholics in the real world is much lower than here at CAF.

I have found this to be true too.

If that means alienating your family and even your husband, then that is part of the suffering you will have to willingly bear…

A perfect example of the judgmental attitudes you will rarely find among Catholics in the “real world.”

 

[mlchance]

A perfect example of the judgmental attitudes you will rarely find among Catholics in the “real world.”

If I’m not a Catholic in the real world, which world am I in? Or is it that I’m not actually a Catholic convert who still lives with familial disapproval over my choice to convert? I am at a loss to understand if you have more of a point than a mere insult.

The OP asked for advice and observations. I can speak first hand to the real pain of interfaith hostility within a family as well as the troubles facing an interfaith marriage. It ought to also be quite obvious that putting up with such hostility is worth the pain as the reward is Christ’s own Church in which he is truly present to the faithful in the Eucharist. For reference to this reality, check the Beatitudes at the beginning of Matthew 5.

I’m quite certain more than a few folks will sugar coat her situation and offer everything ranging from good advice to meaningless platitudes along the way.

– Mark L. Chance.

 

[Holly3278]

I think you really need to talk to a priest. And one with a lot of experience.

Good luck

I agree. Talk to a priest. And don’t let this prevent you from becoming Catholic. In the meanwhile, pray for your husband’s conversion. You never know what miracles might happen.

 

[KimberClare]

Let me make a prediction…if he loves you as you described…I would expect him to convert in about 5-8 years…it took me about 12 years, but then, I was lower on the scale of salvation than your husband is now…remember, God is the one who changes hearts… not men.

I think he has something here . . .

I converted in 2002 and my husband, just this Pentacost Sunday, returned to the sacramanets after 28 years away!

I had many of the same issues as you now have; trust God in all things, miracles do happen.

 

[kitkatty]

Hi, first off I think youve had some good (name removed by moderator)ut here but you really do need to talk to a priest about this situation. Now for my two cents, it will become difficult unless and until your husband converts. Having a child you are trying to to raise as a Catholic Christian will add to the difficulties, especially when he feels his beliefs be taught to the child and when that happens you will have to be strong enough to insist your child not be subjected to pagan beliefs. If he is a good man and you love him as you stated it may very well be worth it. As others have said, conversions can and do happen and you might be the tool used for that conversion. Im just trying to realistically point the difficulties you will be facing. I say go ahead and become Catholic, seems the Spirit is calling you to do that. Listen. As for your husband take it all a step at a time and see where things go, you might have to re-evaluate lcircumstances later but you will receive direction from God for that. Good luck and God Bless!

 

[smcl]

I agree there is bound to be sacrifice and pain in this marriage.
Converting to the One Holy Catholic Church because God is calling you to do this, is the point. Isn’t it? Ihope you are able to find the support you need to become a Catholic. May Jesus protect and guide you, your child,and your husband.

I would never let my husband teach my child pagan beliefs. Never! I think you would probably be allowing your child to be taught to worship a false God. Don’t do this anymore! It may be a free country but you will be accountable to God for what you do and do not teach your child about God. Be kind, but protect your child’d soul.

No False Gods in My House! Please!!!

PS My brother, a practicing Catholic, just built a totem pole in his back yard. I told my sister it really bothers me and I think it is pagan and evil. My sister called me evil. This really hurt me.

What happens when you stand up for the ten commandments is not always pretty. But, any suffering is redemptive. Offer it up for the salvation of your husband’s soul.

Be Careful, Love Susan

 

[myndsplyntur]

I came to the web forum so I could learn more about Catholicism. My husband is Catholic. I am not. I, thus far, have chosen not to prescribe to a specific sect other than general Christianity due to the fact that I cannot say I am one thing (Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, whatever), but not agree with all aspects of it.

Unfortunately I am unsure if I came to the right place. So far my feelings on Catholicism and organized religion have been unchanged and, actually, I’m worried that my reasons for avoiding organized religion in the first place have been cemented.

I want to learn more about Catholicism and my husband really wants me to be Catholic, but I can’t accept something that seems so full of hate and judgemental attitudes. Jesus loved everyone; I don’t know why religion can’t be that simple.

Does anyone have any UNBIASED information that I can obtain about Catholicism?

 

[m134e5]

You can still come Catholic, there are many parishes and people in them who would embrace you and not judge you. The ratio of judgmental Catholics in the real world is much lower than here at CAF.

Bear in mind that most people on CAF do not have the spiritual and character formation and the theological training that priests have.

Having a “pagan” husband is not a hurdle to a loving family, as you said he already gave support to choose one faith and go with it.

It isn’t an obstacle that can’t be overcome, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say it isn’t a hurdle at all. When people share the same spiritual beliefs, they are more able to pass those on to their children. When you believe something as sincerely as one should believe their faith, you are going to want those you love to share it with you. The Church is not pluralistic- this isn’t politically correct to say, but it teaches- as it has always taught- that it contains the fullness of truth. That means that everything else doesn’t have the fullness of truth- that means that everything else, to a degree at least, is wrong.

Your child would actually get a blend of yours and his beliefs, many which overlap and would actually enhance each other. The Catholic Church does not have a monopoly on morals.

What do you suggest someone do when the beliefs directly contradict one another? Based on everything I have seen, blending religions isn’t very fruitful.

 

[dessert]

I would really like to convert to the Catholic faith (I am an Anglican) because it seems to me to be more true to the original intention of Christianity. But I have some roadblocks. The biggest one is my marriage. I’m married to a wonderful man who I adore with all my heart. He is giving and loving and treats me like a princess. I can’t imagine finding anyone in this world I was meant to be with more. But, he is a pagan. And if I become Catholic, I think that’s a problem. We’re expecting a baby in 5 weeks and we are so thrilled. He agrees I can baptise the child and teach him whatever beliefs I see fit but also insists that he’s allowed to educate the child in his beliefs too. I think this is a very reasonable, fair request. However, Catholics tell me that I would be sinning terribly by allowing my children to be exposed to the Occult (please note my husband does not worship demons or commune with the devil or anything crazy like that. He prays to a goddess. He does simple prayer rituals. I think God knows my husband is trying to love Him in his own way even if he has got the wrong idea). I know the Catholic faith insists I make every effort to raise my children with only one religion. I don’t know how I could honestly do that. I would certainly make every attempt to raise them Catholic, but I can’t insist my husband has no say, he would not accept that.

Anyhow, other problems I might have are that my family certainly wouldn’t approve (they’re a bunch of lapsed Christians and spiritual agnostics). That I’m expecting a baby in 5 weeks and don’t know how well I could attend RCIA. Also, I’d like to baptise the child sooner rather than later… But all those can be overcome. I can’t help but think that Catholics would look down on me for life because of what my husband believes! Heck, I was told by one friend I should divorce my husband and seek an anullment. I could never do that! I adore him and he is truly a wonderful guy. I’m beginning to wonder if I should just stay an Anglican.

Any advice??

Enroll in RCIA but it doesn’t usually begin till fall so you have plenty of time to have your baby. You can learn about the faith and give it a couple months to see if it is what you want to do. It goes till spring and by then you should know. Your husband sounds like a kind man I’m sure he will also fall in love with our Blessed Virgin Mary once he gets to know her, through you. Blessings and prayer. Congratulations on the new baby