Is there anything wrong with an adult having imaginary friends?

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TeraMitchel

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Ok, I feel beyond stupid for asking this question, becasuse it’s embarassing…but yeah. I’m a college age woman, with a nice job, plenty of fiends, a loving husband…and a half dozen or so imaginary friends. I know they aren’t real…but they’re a nice stem against loneliness sometimes. I don’t like being by myself, you see. So sometimes it’s nice to imagine a friend over to cook with, or sew with, or any of the other activities none of my friends enjoy. I don’t come from the best family. my parents weren’t really around, and I don’t have a relationship with either. My dad…I know he loved me, but he was emotionally neglectful and abusive, and rarely showed any affection. We don’t speak much now. It’s nice to imagine a fatherly figure, a loving, devoutly Catholic one, encouraging me to wake up for Mass even when I’m tired, someone to pray with when I have no one around who shares my faith…it’s comforting, a way to cope…I don’t know why I would think it is somehow sinful or disrespectful, but I guess somehow in my mind, odd equals, somehow, wrong…
 
Imagining, as you say, something like a father who was more loving than your real one was, or friends when you are alone - even vividly imagining such things - is one thing, and probably quite harmless.

My question would be how far do your imaginings go. Do you do a Clint Eastwood and talk to a chair or empty space as if there is someone there? Set an extra place at supper like Jews do at their Seder (for the prophet Elijah)? Do you ever hear voices from your imaginary friends that come out of thin air and seem not to be anything you would make up yourself, nor related to anything you have previously heard?
 
Nono…nothing crosses over into the real, physical world. no actual speech, no plates, nothing like that
 
No, there is nothing “wrong” with it. But it is weird. A lot like being obsessed with Star Wars etc.
 
Maybe it doesn’t answer the question, but I talk to God often in such situations. As opposed to imaginary friends, God is real, always with me, and He really responds when I talk! 🙂 Try it 🙂
 
^In that case, then i don’t think it’s anything worrisome as long as you keep things in perspective. It’s my understanding that this is a way of coping with whatever’s going on in your life, namely the loneliness you’re feeling on account of you being the only one in your circle being interested in the things you are. You also mentioned that your home life growing up wasn’t the greatest in the world, maybe imagining the kind of parents you wish you had is your way of dealing with whatever went on in real life and wishing it could have been different. Idk, just thinking out loud here.

I’m just wondering, do you do any writing, for fun? 🙂
 
:mad:
loro said:
Maybe it doesn’t answer the question, but I talk to God often in such situations. As opposed to imaginary friends, God is real, always with me, and He really responds when I talk! 🙂 Try it 🙂
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I think you ought to try this. God is the best Father, Jesus is the best friend, and of course we also have Mary and all the saints.
 
TeraMitchel said:
Ok, I feel beyond stupid for asking this question, becasuse it’s embarassing…but yeah. I’m a college age woman, with a nice job, plenty of fiends, a loving husband…and a half dozen or so imaginary friends. I know they aren’t real…but they’re a nice stem against loneliness sometimes. I don’t like being by myself, you see. So sometimes it’s nice to imagine a friend over to cook with, or sew with, or any of the other activities none of my friends enjoy. I don’t come from the best family. my parents weren’t really around, and I don’t have a relationship with either. My dad…I know he loved me, but he was emotionally neglectful and abusive, and rarely showed any affection. We don’t speak much now. It’s nice to imagine a fatherly figure, a loving, devoutly Catholic one, encouraging me to wake up for Mass even when I’m tired, someone to pray with when I have no one around who shares my faith…it’s comforting, a way to cope…I don’t know why I would think it is somehow sinful or disrespectful, but I guess somehow in my mind, odd equals, somehow, wrong…
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I sounds to me like you are having trouble making and maintaining close relationships. You aren’t sinning, I don’t think, but if this goes on, my concern is you will never push yourself to learn how to have true intimacy with others because it’s easy and safe to substitute your imaginary friends.

OTOH, coming from a troubled background myself, as an adult, when I would see parents treating a child in loving ways, I used to stop and imagine I was the child, in this way I tried to get the positive messages that were denied to me.

So, you’ll have to decide when this is useful, when it might become a hindrance and what you’d like to do instead.
 
I don’t know how entirely normal that is. I feel uncomfortable reading the post, to be honest. I think you should try to involve yourself with other people more, or join something that puts you in the “hub” of social acitivity. I don’t think I would be comfortable in myself if I had to rely on imagination to supply friends.
Maybe you’re lonely? Or maybe you need some pro. help?
Sorry if I’m rude, just imho.
 
I don’t think you are mentally unbalanced or anything like that, but I do think you could benefit from some counseling to help you learn to relate to others and form close friendships. There really is nothing like having real friends, and you are missing out on so much in life by only having imaginary friends.

Ask God to help you in this, and find you a friend or two.
 
…I said in my first post, that I DO have friends. Close friends. I don’t know why everyones telling me to go make real friends…I have them.
 
10gr8kids said:
:mad:

I think you ought to try this. God is the best Father, Jesus is the best friend, and of course we also have Mary and all the saints.
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it’s not the same thing. And why did you have to put an angry face on your post? What did I do to upset you?
 
Julia_Mae said:
I sounds to me like you are having trouble making and maintaining close relationships. You aren’t sinning, I don’t think, but if this goes on, my concern is you will never push yourself to learn how to have true intimacy with others because it’s easy and safe to substitute your imaginary friends.

OTOH, coming from a troubled background myself, as an adult, when I would see parents treating a child in loving ways, I used to stop and imagine I was the child, in this way I tried to get the positive messages that were denied to me.

So, you’ll have to decide when this is useful, when it might become a hindrance and what you’d like to do instead.
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I don’t have trouble maintaining close relationships. I don’t know why everyones assuming that. I have a loving husband, and very good friends.
 
TeraMitchel said:
…I said in my first post, that I DO have friends. Close friends. I don’t know why everyones telling me to go make real friends…I have them.
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Sorry, I guess we don’t read closely enough. However, if you go back, you’ll see that you said you have plenty of FIENDS 😃

Perhaps that is why people are telling you to make friends. JK 😉
 
CB_Catholic said:
Sorry, I guess we don’t read closely enough. However, if you go back, you’ll see that you said you have plenty of FIENDS 😃

Perhaps that is why people are telling you to make friends. JK 😉
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oooh no, not fiends XD I don’t have any fiends!
 
TeraMitchel said:
Ok, I feel beyond stupid for asking this question, becasuse it’s embarassing…but yeah. I’m a college age woman, with a nice job, plenty of fiends, a loving husband…and a half dozen or so imaginary friends. I know they aren’t real…but they’re a nice stem against loneliness sometimes. I don’t like being by myself, you see. So sometimes it’s nice to imagine a friend over to cook with, or sew with, or any of the other activities none of my friends enjoy. I don’t come from the best family. my parents weren’t really around, and I don’t have a relationship with either. My dad…I know he loved me, but he was emotionally neglectful and abusive, and rarely showed any affection. We don’t speak much now. It’s nice to imagine a fatherly figure, a loving, devoutly Catholic one, encouraging me to wake up for Mass even when I’m tired, someone to pray with when I have no one around who shares my faith…it’s comforting, a way to cope…I don’t know why I would think it is somehow sinful or disrespectful, but I guess somehow in my mind, odd equals, somehow, wrong…
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My take? I think you must have a wonderful imagination. I don’t think there is anything wrong with this as long as you can distinguish between reality and fantasy and you are not “substituting” real relationships for the imaginary ones. Have you thought about becoming a writer? I have a feeling you might just have a talent that needs to be channeled. 🙂
 
mommyof4 said:
My take? I think you must have a wonderful imagination. I don’t think there is anything wrong with this as long as you can distinguish between reality and fantasy and you are not “substituting” real relationships for the imaginary ones. Have you thought about becoming a writer? I have a feeling you might just have a talent that needs to be channeled. 🙂
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I do like to write! Some of my “friends”, including the father type one, originally came from stories.
 
TeraMitchel said:
I do like to write! Some of my “friends”, including the father type one, originally came from stories.
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Start writing some short stories, or heck, a novel! Maybe you’re the next JK Rowling or someone like that!
 
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