Is there continuity of relationships after death?

[lilypad41]

I was stunned recently to discover that there is something in the scriptures about former relationships not enduring in heaven. This has been my fondest hope - to see my husband again and to enjoy once more our loving relationship. Why can’t we continue as before?

 

[liquidpele]

I was stunned recently to discover that there is something in the scriptures about former relationships not enduring in heaven. This has been my fondest hope - to see my husband again and to enjoy once more our loving relationship. Why can’t we continue as before?

Because if those in your relationships went to hell, you would be sad, and there is no place for sadness in heaven because it is supposed to be perfect. At least, that’s what I was always told…

Plus… marriage is great for 50 years… but many people can’t even make it last that long! I think after the first million years in heaven I might be a bit tired of it… I mean, how much more can you get to know someone in the span of infinity? After a billion years of doing the same stuff, infinity sure starts to look boring.

 

[Dtmccameron]

My view is quite the oposite liquidpele.

“What, you mean only (lets say we start at twenty and end at eighty) sixty years! What is that? That’s nothing! Why bother at all!”

Seems rather pointless, doesn’t it? Rather…professional. “Yup, you, me, we’re helpmeets. We get eachother there. After that, job’s done.”

Then again, and my brain isn’t working as of now, but there’s a term…Oh, let’s say the “fufillment of all being”. That’d be God. He’s the goal, He’s what we aim for, and eternity would largely be, don’t you think, perfect union with Him?

Meaning to say, the ideal way to spend eternity. There’s always the “complete seperation” option for those who don’t prefer “perfect union”.

Then again, we could be inspired by a spirit of justice to love the very notion of hell, but that I doub’t. I also doub’t that relationships would be off so folks wouldn’t be sad about their loved ones in perdition. The Communion of Saints seems to me that complete seperation betwixt folks doesn’t exist.

And perhaps Our Lord was not speaking literally to the Pharisees, but rather, simply to their unbelief. I mean, it does seem rather unfair that we should not cut off our offending hand and eyes, but should turn the other cheek, and so on and so forth.
*
[All of the above represents the views of the speaker and not those of Catholic Answers Forums or the Holy Catholic Church]*

 

[TheQuestioner]

I was stunned recently to discover that there is something in the scriptures about former relationships not enduring in heaven. This has been my fondest hope - to see my husband again and to enjoy once more our loving relationship. Why can’t we continue as before?

Well you may not be able to continue in a romantic relationship but you could still have a deep friendship.

 

[HickmanJosh]

It is my understanding that time means nothing in heaven (at least as we understand it.), and i would imagine your relationship with your husband would mean something in heaven, also Mary is still Jesus’s mother in heaven.

HickmanJosh

 

[Mumbles140]

The way I’ve always learned/believed is that you will see those you knew/loved, but will be so overwhelmed by the ultimate majesty of God that your heart will focus all attention on Him

 

[Magnus467]

The way I’ve always learned/believed is that you will see those you knew/loved, but will be so overwhelmed by the ultimate majesty of God that your heart will focus all attention on Him

I agree. Read the Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis. You wont need relationships in Heaven, God will give you his perfect love in Heaven.

 

[Rolltide]

The way I’ve always learned/believed is that you will see those you knew/loved, but will be so overwhelmed by the ultimate majesty of God that your heart will focus all attention on Him

It’s not just this mind you (although that’s a huge part of it indeed)… we’ll still recognize all of our loved ones in heaven, and they will have a special bond. BUT… the difference is that since heaven is perfect and our love will be perfected, we will love ALL people with the fullest intensity possible. In other words, everyone will love everyone in heaven a thousand times more intensely than any earthly love we enjoy now. Marriage becomes irrelevant, because all of our relationships will be vastly more intense and perfect.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

It’s not just this mind you (although that’s a huge part of it indeed)… we’ll still recognize all of our loved ones in heaven, and they will have a special bond. BUT… the difference is that since heaven is perfect and our love will be perfected, we will love ALL people with the fullest intensity possible. In other words, everyone will love everyone in heaven a thousand times more intensely than any earthly love we enjoy now. Marriage becomes irrelevant, because all of our relationships will be vastly more intense and perfect.

Well stated. Thank you for sharing that.

 

[HelenaMT]

I was stunned recently to discover that there is something in the scriptures about former relationships not enduring in heaven. This has been my fondest hope - to see my husband again and to enjoy once more our loving relationship. Why can’t we continue as before?

The quote you read could have different interpretations. He was speaking to men that were trying to trip Him up with His own rules and who didn’t believe in life after death. When marriages were arranged for economic or social reasons, as they often were in the ancient world, and a woman could be widowed and automatically enter a new marriage with the late husband’s brother, it’s easy to see that Jesus probably wan’t meaning to say that emotional relationships cease upon death, but social and status based ones. Since there’s no procreation in Heaven, marriage in that sense would not exist. But there’s no reason that every other bond you enjoyed with him should not continue if that is what you both needed to be happy.

 

[Donald45]

I was stunned recently to discover that there is something in the scriptures about former relationships not enduring in heaven. This has been my fondest hope - to see my husband again and to enjoy once more our loving relationship. Why can’t we continue as before?

Your question (and many of the answers here) seems to assume that heaven will always be an immaterial, ethereal place in the clouds, but this is not really Catholic doctrine. In reality, when Christ returns, and following the general resurrection of believers (when soul and body will be reunited once again, as God intends), heaven will, quite literally, be “a place on earth” (see, for example, 2 Pet. 3:13; Rev. 21:1).

Thus, we will not all be disembodied spirits floating around on the clouds. Rather, we’ll be glorified human beings—unified body and soul—just as Jesus was after his resurrection. That being said, Jesus certainly recognized and interacted with the disciples prior to his ascension. He talked with them, opened the scriptures to them, even ate with them. It appears that there certainly will be a relational continuity between individuals from this life to the next.

Gaudium de veritate,

Don
+T+

 

[TheQuestioner]

Your question (and many of the answers here) seems to assume that heaven will always be an immaterial, ethereal place in the clouds, but this is not really Catholic doctrine. In reality, when Christ returns, and following the general resurrection of believers (when soul and body will be reunited once again, as God intends), heaven will, quite literally, be “a place on earth” (see, for example, 2 Pet. 3:13; Rev. 21:1).

Thus, we will not all be disembodied spirits floating around on the clouds. Rather, we’ll be glorified human beings—unified body and soul—just as Jesus was after his resurrection. That being said, Jesus certainly recognized and interacted with the disciples prior to his ascension. He talked with them, opened the scriptures to them, even ate with them. It appears that there certainly will be a relational continuity between individuals from this life to the next.

Gaudium de veritate,

Don
+T+

Although you are correct in that at the resurrection we will have bodies, we will still cease to be married to our spouses. Remember the Sadducees asked Jesus about a woman who had 6 husbands who died, and wanted to know which of those husbands she would be married to after the resurrection. Jesus told them that she will not be married to any of them, but we will be like the angels, and neither marry or give into marriage.

 

[Donald45]

Although you are correct in that at the resurrection we will have bodies, we will still cease to be married to our spouses. Remember the Sadducees asked Jesus about a woman who had 6 husbands who died, and wanted to know which of those husbands she would be married to after the resurrection. Jesus told them that she will not be married to any of them, but we will be like the angels, and neither marry or give into marriage.

Very true. I wasn’t referring to marriage or sexuality, but of a general relationship of identity as human beings. Thus, my relationship with my wife will be altered in the New Earth (heaven), but we will still share the history and memories of our life together on this earth, which will be incorporated into the heavenly relationship that we will then enjoy.

Gaudium de veritate,

Don
+T+

 

[North_of_Nod]

I was stunned recently to discover that there is something in the scriptures about former relationships not enduring in heaven. This has been my fondest hope - to see my husband again and to enjoy once more our loving relationship. Why can’t we continue as before?

You will be in such close union with Christ that you probably won’t want anything but that. The Church is Christ’s Bride, so He will be our family. Of course, you will see people you knew on earth there, but the nature of those relationships will be different in Heaven.

 

[lilypad41]

Thank you North of Nod

I had several others to advise me similarly. God is perfect love and total perfection they said and just being in his presence fills us with total happiness. We will need nothing else. Some stated though that they felt the previous relationships on earth stood for something in heaven. I can tolerate this way of thinking more easily and hope that perhaps God allows it at times to “round out” the perfect happiness that is already present and available to each soul.

 

[lilypad41]

Very true. I wasn’t referring to marriage or sexuality, but of a general relationship of identity as human beings. Thus, my relationship with my wife will be altered in the New Earth (heaven), but we will still share the history and memories of our life together on this earth, which will be incorporated into the heavenly relationship that we will then enjoy.

Gaudium de veritate,

Don
+T+

Thank you Don for passing on your impressions and thoughts. They sum up my expectations of heaven too. I am relieved that you and others echo my ideas regarding relationships enduring in paradise.

 

[Sonny1954]

Originally Posted by lilypad41
I was stunned recently to discover that there is something in the scriptures about former relationships not enduring in heaven. This has been my fondest hope - to see my husband again and to enjoy once more our loving relationship. Why can’t we continue as before?

I believe that many people worry about this same thing: relationship in Heaven. My widowed father asked his priest about whether he and mother will have a personal relationship in Heaven. The priest assured him that while we don’t know the form that the relationship might take, he and mother will love each other more fully and deeply in Heaven than ever. There will be hint of sin to stain the relationship. That is what I believe to.

Lilypad 41, I think that you and your husband will share love like you cannot possibly imagine right now! You no longer hold the conventional titles of husband and wife, and you won’t “belong” to each other in the same possessive way you did when you were both on earth, but I doubt you will mind in bit, you’ll be so intensely in love!

Nothing about our lives is destroyed in eternity (except sin). Rather, eternity perfects us not diminishes us. We will still be human beings in Heaven, but perfected human beings. We will still need to give and receive personal love, for that is how we were created, but we will love more people more perfectly.

A very orthodox Catholic philosopher, Peter Kreeft, argues that there may well be sexual intercourse in Heaven. But, he adds, that there will be so many other more exciting, more initimate, more giving ways of sharing our love with our loved ones, that intercourse might seem downright dull!

 

[lilypad41]

Sonny 1954,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. It has filled me with hope again and I feel comfortable once more in talking to Bill and knowing that he listens and cares. I had thought about talking to my priest, but had not gotten to the point of making an appointment. It is a comfort to know that your priest has lent legitimacy to what you and I had both hoped was true. Thank you for your feedback. May God bless you.

 

[Simeon_Hovey]

The only thing I’m aware of that Jesus said about relations in Heaven comes from Matthew and Luke. Both quotes are nearly identical.

Luke 20:27 - 38, “Then came to him certain of the Sadducees, who deny that there is any resurrection; and they asked him, Saying, Teacher, Moses wrote unto us, If any man’s brother dies, having a wife, and he dies without children, that his brother should take his wife, and raise up children for his brother. Now there were with us seven brothers: and the first took a wife, and died without children… [the other 6 brothers married her and died without offspring], Last of all the woman died also. Therefore in the resurrection whose wife of them is she? For seven had her as wife. And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage: But they who shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage: Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection. Now that the dead are raised, even Moses showed at the bush, when he called the Lord the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. For he is not a God of the dead, but of the living: for all live unto him.”

Since Jesus tells us that Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Moses are living I think it’s safe to say that your relations with family will continue. It is my hope that in Heaven I will come to know all of my ancestors, both my Grandfathers died before I was born and I would love to see my aunts, uncles and cousins too. Not to forget my own children and friends. Also, being a permanently disabled spinal cord injury patient I hope to resume activities that I can no longer do. I would love to be able to again explore the wide open spaces of the American west by horse and jeep and I hope some of my dogs will be with me. This may seem petty but I also hope that coffee and [odorless] cigars will be there.

When I was teaching Sunday School, grades 3 - 5, one of the little girls asked me if, “The clouds in Heaven will be made out of my Grandmother’s mashed potatoes?” I had no idea what she meant by this, so I asked. She told me that her Grandmother had died recently and she missed her mashed potatoes. I asked her for a week to pray about this and I also spoke with my cleric about it. Not knowing what to say I followed what Jesus said about not worrying about what someone should say because the words would be given to them. When the next Sunday came I told her that not only would, “the clouds be her Grandmother’s mashed potatoes you’ll be there helping her make them.” I have no doubt that these words were given to me by the Holy Spirit.

Simeon :compcoff:

 

[Simeon_Hovey]

Lily Pad

What scripture are you referring to?

Simeon "compcoff:

I was stunned recently to discover that there is something in the scriptures about former relationships not enduring in heaven. This has been my fondest hope - to see my husband again and to enjoy once more our loving relationship. Why can’t we continue as before?