Is there ever a circumstance where condom use is acceptable?

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billboyzmom said:
Thank you Emily. I believe I’m going to be getting a CPAP machine in the very near future. Do you think that would effect temps as well. I have an email out to a nurse practitioner that teaches the Billings Method. It sounds really interesting and like something I could do.
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I don’t know anything about CPAP machines, personally…
I just wanted to mention my experience with taking temperatures… in case it would help! 🙂
billboyzmom said:
Just a little update…I have shared my feelings with my husband and he was fairly receptive to using NFP. I was rather shocked and quite happy. Woohoo. 😃

Jen
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👍 😃
 
Debora123 said:
I pretty much agree with these priests, so 🤷
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Debora, so what if you agree with priests who are disobedient to the Church’s teachings on the mortal sin of condom use. Listen to the Church, not some priests who blatently refuse to live out their priestly call to holiness by advocating mortal sin in the bedroom.
 
Hi Jen!

That’s great news!!! 🙂 I am happy for you!!
billboyzmom said:
Just a little update…I have shared my feelings with my husband and he was fairly receptive to using NFP. I was rather shocked and quite happy. Woohoo. 😃

Jen
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Is there ever a circumstance where condom use is acceptable?
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When it comes to using them as a contraceptive, the Church’s position is never.

If you use the condoms for, say, water balloons at a pool party, that would be permissible (as long as kids aren’t around…no pun intended).
 
How poignant that among all the rationalizing about condoms and OCD and misinformation from priests comes a woman’s small voice, “I would love to have more but…”

You want to fulfill the natural purpose of your marriage and your body, and are being prevented by a bunch of selfish men. Why on earth are you using condoms when you do not want to?

Regardless of what the Church teaching is, why are you stifling your womanhood? Fertility does not last forever. God help you both.
 
Thank you for reading my reply and for your post. To answer your question as to why I was uing condoms…the major reason is that I currently take a medication that causes severe birth defects. Also, my husband and son both have Autism Spectrum Disorders, my son has serious anxiety issues and we have financial concerns. In our family it appears autism is genetic. I would have loved to have more, but for those reasons & several more, I felt I was being a responsible parent to my current child and honoring the wishes of my spouse in not having anymore children. I also have some fertility issues.

I think had I understood the effectiveness of NFP and not let fear creep into my heart…maybe I would have used that method. I’m still a work in progress I guess.

God help you too.

Jen
 
I was prescribed Thalidomide a few years ago, for a very painful disease that is difficult to treat and Thalidomide was one the last possible treatments. For obvious reasons, it is a legal requirement that any woman of childbearing age who is prescribed the drug must be on one of the contraceptive pills/implants or have an IUD. That didn’t present a problem as I was single but I asked my priest what would happen if I married. He said that my circumstances were sufficiently grave that I would be permitted to use it, as it was a legal requirement and not a choice.

It sounds like your circumstances are similar. I would go with the advice of four different priests, rather than someone on here. One poster asked why “you” were using condoms, “you” are not, your husband is, that is his responsibility.

I’ll be praying for you.
 
starsmurf said:
I was prescribed Thalidomide a few years ago, for a very painful disease that is difficult to treat and Thalidomide was one the last possible treatments. For obvious reasons, it is a legal requirement that any woman of childbearing age who is prescribed the drug must be on one of the contraceptive pills/implants or have an IUD. That didn’t present a problem as I was single but I asked my priest what would happen if I married. He said that my circumstances were sufficiently grave that I would be permitted to use it, as it was a legal requirement and not a choice.

It sounds like your circumstances are similar. I would go with the advice of four different priests, rather than someone on here. One poster asked why “you” were using condoms, “you” are not, your husband is, that is his responsibility.

I’ll be praying for you.
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Aren’t you required to take two forms of birth control while taking thalidomide?

Of course it would be a personal choice, but if I ever had to take Thalidomide, or if my husband were to ever take Thalidomide, there would be no sex for me, at all, regardless of ABC, condoms, NPF, yadda yadda yadda until the treatments are done, plus the drug withdrawl period.
 
Sadly, priests aren’t always 100% reliable sources of socially unpopular church teaching. Bishop’s aren’t either, but the odds improve greatly.

I second the idea of figuring out who your bishop is and writing a letter for help understanding. Make it clear that you’ve received contradictory advice and want to know the truth of catholic teaching on the matter as well as pastoral advice on how to deal with a reluctant husband. This is just an internet forum, after all and he’s a successor to the apostles.

The morally perfect thing to do would be to refrain from artificial contraception, I’m pretty sure. But depending on your husband’s attitude, you do have to be careful that your moral stance doesn’t obscure the light of the gospel for him. You can’t enable his sin directly, but you don’t necessarily have to refuse him if you aren’t personally participating in it and are unable to convince him.

Sex really does lose much of its meaning when contracepted. The prohibition on contraception is not an arbitrary “thou shalt not.” Keep that in mind when wrestling with this and I suspect it will help a lot.

God bless.

P.S. They’re perfectly acceptable as a means of keeping your rifle barrel dry in jungle warfare too…
 
manualman said:
The morally perfect thing to do would be to refrain from artificial contraception, I’m pretty sure. But depending on your husband’s attitude, you do have to be careful that your moral stance doesn’t obscure the light of the gospel for him. You can’t enable his sin directly, but you don’t necessarily have to refuse him if you aren’t personally participating in it and are unable to convince him.
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Correct.

I believe there was some type of official pronouncement on the matter, though I can’t find it at the moment.
P.S. They’re perfectly acceptable as a means of keeping your rifle barrel dry in jungle warfare too…
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There’s an analogy about firing bullets in there but I’m not interested in being banned just yet.🙂
 
billboyzmom said:
Thank you for reading my reply and for your post. To answer your question as to why I was uing condoms…the major reason is that I currently take a medication that causes severe birth defects. Also, my husband and son both have Autism Spectrum Disorders, my son has serious anxiety issues and we have financial concerns. In our family it appears autism is genetic. I would have loved to have more, but for those reasons & several more, I felt I was being a responsible parent to my current child and honoring the wishes of my spouse in not having anymore children. I also have some fertility issues.

I think had I understood the effectiveness of NFP and not let fear creep into my heart…maybe I would have used that method. I’m still a work in progress I guess.

God help you too.

Jen
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Hi Jen,

My heart goes out to you for your challenging circumstances. Just to put my 2 cents in, I think you definitely have a good reason to postpone more children, and that may well be indefinite.

The best advice I have seen given here is to visit a very good NFP doctor who can help you to get healthier and to use NFP as well as possible. Your husband may be more attracted to NFP if he can visit the doctor with you and come to understand what this has to offer your family. Social support can accomplish a great deal in making something difficult like NFP more workable, and the doctor may be able to get your family in touch with other families who can give that support to you. Or get in touch with the Couple to Couple League.

It is too bad that you have been confused by priests who should be promoting the teachings of the Church and not their own preferences. God bless you as you work towards doing His will.

Joan
 
P.S. They’re perfectly acceptable as a means of keeping your rifle barrel dry in jungle warfare too…

LOL.
 
Joan1969 said:
Hi Jen,

My heart goes out to you for your challenging circumstances. Just to put my 2 cents in, I think you definitely have a good reason to postpone more children, and that may well be indefinite.

The best advice I have seen given here is to visit a very good NFP doctor who can help you to get healthier and to use NFP as well as possible. Your husband may be more attracted to NFP if he can visit the doctor with you and come to understand what this has to offer your family. Social support can accomplish a great deal in making something difficult like NFP more workable, and the doctor may be able to get your family in touch with other families who can give that support to you. Or get in touch with the Couple to Couple League.

It is too bad that you have been confused by priests who should be promoting the teachings of the Church and not their own preferences. God bless you as you work towards doing His will.

Joan
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Thank you for your kind words. I’m going to be meeting with my parish priest this week to discuss this among other things. My husband actually surprised me at how open he actually was to NFP. I guess I sold him short…:o Thanks again.

Jen
 
catholicgirl08 said:
Hi!

I would listen to the four priests and not worry! 🙂 I am positive you can use birth control for a medical reason which is probably why the priests told you it was ok.
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Be positive no longer, for you are mistaken. Understandably when priests teach error. But everyone has known for decades that priests are extremely uncomfortable with this issue, lie about it, avoid it, and say whatever someone wants to hear because they are too ignorant or too intimidated to explain church teaching, which is really quite simple, as we see some smart folks on this thread have done so.

The priests that tend to teach the truth are the very old ones (because they understand Pope Paul VI’s rationale, which has been born out it family strife, divorce, single moms, etc), or amazingly, the young ones…also perhaps because they have been lucky to go to a good seminary. But these priests 56, 60 years old, they are TERRIFIED of this topic and also confused for the most part.

Hey, truth.
 
billboyzmom said:
How do you feel about the Pope allowing condom use for male prostitutes to try to stem the spread of HIV?
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This is actually a popular and widespread RUMOR. The Holy Father has not granted a special permission for condom use among male prostitutes, or any group.

This originated in an impromptu interview where, as often happens, the Pope’s extremely nuanced and complex explanation was twisted and misunderstood by the press. The matter has been clarified by Fr. Lombardi, SJ as well as other high level Vatican officials.
 
Debora123 said:
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Fantastic! 😃
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At times we all have to have a sense of humor. In the Army condoms were free, you could take all you wanted. We had to blouse our boots, and condoms made the best band to blouse your boots. Especially if you were pulling interior guard duty. You looked sharper if you used condoms to blouse your boots and not tuck your your pants inside the boot.
The Church teaches that they are not to be used for birth control. They teach, but it is against the natural law. I have a pamphlet written by Father Daniel A. Lord S. J. titled Why birth control is forbidden. It is a very interesting pamphlet. Any one who want to read it I’ll mail it to them.
 
billboyzmom said:
Thank you for your kind words. I’m going to be meeting with my parish priest this week to discuss this among other things. My husband actually surprised me at how open he actually was to NFP. I guess I sold him short…:o Thanks again.

Jen
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Hi Jen,

Glad to hear that your husband seems more open than before! Keep in mind that addressing any problems related to cycles and reading fertility signals might make NFP easier, and that would change how things might go in your family.

I should think the Couple to Couple League would have a doctor’s list that you could look at.

Hope you have a good day.

God Bless,
Joan
 
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