Is thinking about sex a sin?

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Hi,

I know that masturbation is a sin, and codemned by the Church. (Is ‘condemned’ the right word?) But I would like to know if thinking about sex, or imagining have sex in your mind just as sinful. I only ask because it is very hard for me to get rid of these images out of my mind. I’ve only recently decided to pursue chastity as a virtue.

Also, whenever I see attractive girls, I feel aroused. I believe this is a normal sexual response. Now, usually I would relieve this stress by masturbating, but, now I’ve decided not to do that anymore. Nonetheless, I still get this feelings, and I’m still attracted to girls. How can I pursue a chaste life without repressing my normal sexual feelings, which might create psychological problems for me down the track?

Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.
 
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jay_s:
Hi,

I know that masturbation is a sin, and codemned by the Church. (Is ‘condemned’ the right word?) But I would like to know if thinking about sex, or imagining have sex in your mind just as sinful. I only ask because it is very hard for me to get rid of these images out of my mind. I’ve only recently decided to pursue chastity as a virtue.

Also, whenever I see attractive girls, I feel aroused. I believe this is a normal sexual response. Now, usually I would relieve this stress by masturbating, but, now I’ve decided not to do that anymore. Nonetheless, I still get this feelings, and I’m still attracted to girls. How can I pursue a chaste life without repressing my normal sexual feelings, which might create psychological problems for me down the track?

Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.
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Jesus said that thinking about sin is the same as commiting that sin

If your thoughts are not based on lust then you are ok. If they are based on the desire to love a woman then that is good.
 
Jesus said that thinking about sin is the same as commiting that sin
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ARRRRR… 😦 thats no good I get thoughts of suicide…
Hmmmmmmm how many times on Jesus list have I commited suicide? 😛

Are you a teenager Kev7? cause thats just a part of growing up, the main thing is if you don’t act on the thoughts I guess and maybe try the rubber band trick, everytime you think about sex flick yourself with the rubber band around your wrist, this Is a suggestion a counsellor gave me about my suicidal thoughts. cause in one hour my habd was practically in agony! but the whole point of this rubber band trick is to distract you from the thoughts, maybe try to pray to god everytime you get these thoughts.

Evanescence
 
Few teenage boys don’t think about sex a lot.

If you feel aroused by an attractive woman that is normal.

If you nurture lustful fantasies, then you are at risk of sin.

I’m concerned about your suicidal tendencies. If they are caused by “beating yourself up,” as it were, over this issue, then the first thing you need to do is stop blaming and condemning yourself. As long as you do that you’re caught in a trap that feeds itself.

This kind of problem is pretty tricky. Yes, you wish to quit sinning, but the more committed you are to trying, the more attached it becomes and harder to let go. The trick is to let God do the judging and fixing; you just ask for the help and give yourself positive encouragement. For example, instead of saying “here I go again, what a schmuck I am,” tell yourself, “I’m thankful to God for helping me become free.” At some point, you might start hearing yourself say something good rather than blame/shame, and gain some hope.

Alan
 
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Evanescence:
Are you a teenager Kev7? cause thats just a part of growing up, the main thing is if you don’t act on the thoughts I guess and maybe try the rubber band trick, everytime you think about sex flick yourself with the rubber band around your wrist, this Is a suggestion a counsellor gave me about my suicidal thoughts. cause in one hour my habd was practically in agony! but the whole point of this rubber band trick is to distract you from the thoughts, maybe try to pray to god everytime you get these thoughts.

Evanescence
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Sounds like a pretty stupid idea to me. That would make me much more aware of my thoughts, rather than distract me from them. Now you not only have the thoughts, but you have to watch for them as well by being your own thought police.

Alan
 
Sounds like a pretty stupid idea to me. That would make me much more aware of my thoughts, rather than distract me from them. Now you not only have the thoughts, but you have to watch for them as well by being your own thought police.
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if you have a problem with it then consult my "Professional counsellor who happens to be also a phyciatrist.
lol I gotta admit counsellors can be rather Stoooopid!
I H8 the rubber band idea but I thought it might of been worthwhile mentioning (or not)

Evanescence
 
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kev7:
Jesus said that thinking about sin is the same as commiting that sin
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Eh no.

We are seldomly in control of our thoughts. The sin arises when we use these thoughts to commit a grave action.

Thought unchecked = temptation unchecked = sin = death

So you see that we have at least two stages in the process to check and banish either the thought or the temptation.
God is very fair indeed. We can be 2/3rds the way to sin and still choose God!!!

When we have bad thoughts etc. we must all the time try to banish them as soon as they arrive. If they get to the temptation stage then do a great act of mortification like the great saints did and get back to God.

St Francis stripped naked and sat in snow to overcome temptation. Another saint threw himself into a thorny bush for the very same reason.

Temptations are very strong; our mortifications should be stronger still.

God will reward these efforts.

Only last Monday night my Spiritual Director told me that in these days when the sun is out, the weather is very good and most of the flesh is exposed we should greet the Guardian Angel of the one who is distracting us!!
 
I am not a teenager. I’m 26 yrs old. I don’t know why most people thought that just because I have fantasies about sex, that I must be an adolescent. No, I’m actually quite older than that.

I would love to love women without always seeing them as sex objects. I don’t know if this is something that’s going to take time to achieve. I may be in fact blind to the beauty instrinsic to womanhood. It is my loss. I am going to pray to God to help me overcome this ‘defect’. If I am sincere enough, and passionate enough, and if God wills it, then I may yet be saved from this self-imposed darkness.
 
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jay_s:
I am not a teenager. I’m 26 yrs old. I don’t know why most people thought that just because I have fantasies about sex, that I must be an adolescent. No, I’m actually quite older than that.

I would love to love women without always seeing them as sex objects. I don’t know if this is something that’s going to take time to achieve. I may be in fact blind to the beauty instrinsic to womanhood. It is my loss. I am going to pray to God to help me overcome this ‘defect’. If I am sincere enough, and passionate enough, and if God wills it, then I may yet be saved from this self-imposed darkness.
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I totally believe that your ideas are on target. I’m 46 now, and just this past week I’ve finally been noticing things along these lines. It’s wonderful, and freeing. If you are sincere, I doubt you will have to wait until you’re my age. It really doesn’t seem age-related, although being past 20-something could be a definite advantage!

Maybe it’s because I was typing some of my opinions on clothing modesty and another poster wrote, “Alan, this is really sick.” Maybe that’s what I needed was public confession, and a loving, honest observation! :eek: Anyway, it was good for me! 😃

It just occurred to me that the reason women look like sex object to us, is that from a biological point of view they are potential sex objects. The trick is to learn how to deny the carnal self its energy.

Alan
 
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jay_s:
I am going to pray to God to help me overcome this ‘defect’. If I am sincere enough, and passionate enough, and if God wills it, then I may yet be saved from this self-imposed darkness.
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You have the rest of us with you my friend. We will be praying for you too. We do ask, however, that you pray for us because you are certainly not alone with this confusion!!
 
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Fergal:
Eh no.

We are seldomly in control of our thoughts. The sin arises when we use these thoughts to commit a grave action.

Thought unchecked = temptation unchecked = sin = death

So you see that we have at least two stages in the process to check and banish either the thought or the temptation.
God is very fair indeed. We can be 2/3rds the way to sin and still choose God!!!

When we have bad thoughts etc. we must all the time try to banish them as soon as they arrive. If they get to the temptation stage then do a great act of mortification like the great saints did and get back to God.

St Francis stripped naked and sat in snow to overcome temptation. Another saint threw himself into a thorny bush for the very same reason.

Temptations are very strong; our mortifications should be stronger still.

God will reward these efforts.

Only last Monday night my Spiritual Director told me that in these days when the sun is out, the weather is very good and most of the flesh is exposed we should greet the Guardian Angel of the one who is distracting us!!
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If you walk along the edge of a cliff your are more likely to fall off.

I’m just telling you what Jesus said. If you don’t want to listen to him that is your choice.
 
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Evanescence:
if you have a problem with it then consult my "Professional counsellor who happens to be also a phyciatrist.
lol I gotta admit counsellors can be rather Stoooopid!
I H8 the rubber band idea but I thought it might of been worthwhile mentioning (or not)

Evanescence
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Counsellors are useless. They only tell you how you are and why you are that way.

God on the other hand tells you that you can change and his message is always one of truth and salvation.

I would suggest that you simply pray to God and ask him for the strength to resist temptation A counsellor will do nothing for you.
 
Just thinking about sex is not a sin. We are sexual beings, and part of that is human nature and perfectly normal. BUT we are also intelligent and spiritual beings, and we have the ability to control our fantasies and emotions.

Some of this attraction will be lessened with age and experience, and some of it we need to learn to control. Unlike animals, we as humans can not act on each and every urge that come along. We would be in a chaotic barbaric world if everyone just acted on impulse.

So many of our thoughts are random, and we have to learn to quickly discard those that can potentially be sinful. IF a sexual fantasy arises, we need to quickly recognize that such a thing is foolish and can not and should not happen.

They are lies that our subconscious or maybe even an outside source (aka Satan) are trying to tempt us with. The Truth is such behavior or activity is just not possible or highly improbable. AND if we were to give into such fantasies, it would easily lead us to sin or to even more evil deeds.

The lie is that it is enjoyable or obtainable, but the underlying truth is that it is really harmful to our spiritual lives and in fact could be deadly. And at the very least, the fantasy is not even possible or even very likely. EVEN IF it were possible or likely, we do not want to put ourselves in the frame of mind to give into such fantasies.

wc
 
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wcknight:
Just thinking about sex is not a sin.
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If it is a brief thought and you brush it out of your mind, then that’s normal, BUT if you dwell on it (even without action) it is a serious sin! The Catholic Church teaches that this can be a mortal sin, by knowing this and still giving consent to dwell on these thoughts would put this sin in the realm of serious/grave/deadly/mortal.
My prayers are with you.
 
E.E.N.S.:
If it is a brief thought and you brush it out of your mind, then that’s normal, BUT if you dwell on it (even without action) it is a serious sin! The Catholic Church teaches that this can be a mortal sin, by knowing this and still giving consent to dwell on these thoughts would put this sin in the realm of serious/grave/deadly/mortal.
My prayers are with you.
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I agree that in a situation when “thinking about sex”=“impure thought,” then dwelling on the thought is a sin. However, I want to point out that thinking about sex is not in itself a sin, because it is possible to think about sex without having impure thoughts. If a person is thinking about sex and fantasizing in order to gain pleasure from lust, this is obviously wrong. If a person is thinking about the unifying or procreative purpose of sex or the theology of the body, that would not be wrong. Even in a non-religious sense, for some anatomy and biology classes I have taken, part of the class does cover the biological realities of sex. Thinking about this in order to study for a test or better understand the subject would not be a sin. You have to be careful, though, not to trick yourself into thinking you have some pure motive for thinking about sex if you’re really thinking about it in an impure way. You also have to guard your thoughts to make sure that when thinking about sex in an appropriate way, you don’t stray into dangerous territory. If you don’t think you can do that, then in your particular case thinking about sex at all might be a near occasion of sin.
 
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Fergal:
And you proof is based on??? Can I have a quotation please?
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He is probably referring to when Jesus said “if you look at another person’s wife with lust, than you have already committed adultry in your heart…” or something close to that anyway…
 
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